the door to the spare room that I have been coming to every now and then. It’s also the room where I hid the book with entries of what happened to me. I’m not sure where the book is now, and I haven’t asked Darius, not wanting to bring it up and sour things between us. I’m not sure where we both go from here, though he is pretty clear with what he wants, I on the other hand, am just taking it day by day.
I walk over to the door and open it when another knock comes. Josh stands on the other side, his hands in his pockets as he looks down to the floor.
“Can I come in?” he asks, voice soft. I sigh before standing to the side to let him in. Moving to the end of the bed, I sit with my legs crossed, hating the conversation we are about to have but know it’s a long time coming.
Seems a lot of things are being said out in the open lately.
He moves to the chair in the room near the small desk, grabbing it and sits down in front of me. Resting his arms on his knees, he’s silent, messing with the bun he has in his hair. It’s a move I know he only does when he’s unsettled.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers eventually. I pick the side of my fingernails, biting my lip. “I never should have asked you to remove your glamor. It was wrong. I have no excuse.”
I believe he’s sorry, I do. But. “You hurt me,” I tell him, and he sucks in a shaky breath, nodding. “It was something I never wanted others to see. You only saw it because you got me out of that basement, and I made sure to have it blocked from Kade’s memory when Edward did that for me.”
“I know, Milal. I should have never done that. I honestly don’t know what came over me.”
“It’s the mating bond, Josh,” I tell him, and he freezes, looking up at me. “You think I didn’t know?” His gray eyes turn wide, but sad, and I know it’s because he didn’t talk to me about it. “A bloodmate’s bond trumps all and everything. I can understand that. What you did still hurts, I feel betrayed. You used the fact that you saved me from a place I had no choice in being as a weapon to get what you wanted. Used the fact that I have always felt like I have owed you for that.”
His head drops, and he runs a hand over his face. “You never owed me. Never.” He shakes his head and clenches his fist on his knees. “I just, I was crawling out of my skin to get to her, and it felt like everyone was my enemy, standing in my way. You were collateral damage of that.” His jaw ticks. “I’m so fucking sorry, Rhea. I’m ashamed of myself for what I did. You are the sister I never had, and I cannot believe I did that to you. I wasn’t myself.”
He looks so dejected, and I know he won’t forgive himself for what he did. What he made me feel like I had to do. I hate this rift between us. We have had arguments over the years, sure, but we have never been this far apart before. I need him. He’s my brother, my chosen family, and I know he will carry this for as long as he lives.
“You can never do that to me again, Josh.”
“Never,” he says down the link, and I feel the hum of the blood link between us for the first time in what seems forever. It’s a welcome comfort, but also comes with pain at the empty spot that’s there from Kade.
It’s that thought that stops me. We can’t be like this with each other, we have lost so much already.
“I’m so happy you found her. I really am. You deserve to be happy, Josh.” I pause. “What Darius did outside Witches Rest…”
“I deserved it, it’s why I didn’t even defend myself,” he says quietly before tilting his head. “He said he will not hurt you again, you know.”
I start at his words. “Since when do you two talk,” I mutter.
He huffs. “Not much, and not often. After you told them about our lives when we arrived here and collapsed in the dining room, I went to the room you were put in to see how you were and we talked for a little while. Darius hadn’t left your side.”
My chest warms at his words, at the thought that Darius stayed by my side when I was deeply asleep. Thinking about it, when I did wake up, he always came to me everyday, stayed with me until he left at night for a while. But he always came back even though I wouldn’t talk to him. I wasn’t able to shove all my emotions down to function and I was letting my hurt spill out.
He never faltered though, and when his patience ran out with me, he helped me wake up from the slump I had found myself in. When I think about it, Darius has helped me a lot while I’ve been here.
Taking a steady breath, I lean forward and take Josh’s clenched fist in my hand. “I forgive you,” I murmur, just wanting things to be right between us. “So much has happened, I don’t want this distance between us. I want my brother.” He grabs me suddenly and yanks me to him, crushing me into a hug. My legs dangle on either side of him as I wrap my arms around his neck, holding him close. I’ve missed him.
“I’ll make it up to you, Rhea.” He squeezes me tighter. “I prom—“
The door to the bedroom slams open, and I jump, my head snapping up. Darius stills in the doorway, looking over me on Josh’s lap and his eyes turn murderous, hard and cruel as they move to Josh.
“Get, the fuck, off of her. Now,” he growls deep, his dominance spilling into the room. I scramble off Josh’s lap, wary of the last time Darius fought with Josh. I go to speak when he says. “Charles is on his way here. We need to move you and the others somewhere else.”
My blood turns cold.
“I’ll grab Sarah,” Josh says in a rush, leaving the room to do just that, but not without giving Darius a wide berth as his eyes track his every movement.
I look around the room, noticing some of the clothes that have been given to me thrown haphazardly around the room. I start to head for them, wanting to hide them just in case anyone comes in here when a hand grips me roughly by the back of my neck. I’m yanked into a hard chest. Lips graze my ear next, and I shiver, before hissing at the slight sting as Darius nips it, his anger filling the room.
“Leave it, someone will clean it up. As for what I just walked in on, little wolf,” he growls low, pressing himself into me so I can feel all of him. “I think we need to have a discussion about why you were sitting in the lap of another fucking male.” He moves his lips from my ear to my shoulder, biting down through the fabric of my t-shirt hard enough to make me whimper. “But that will have to come later, and it will come, Rhea.”
He spins us, his grip on my neck guiding me out the door and down the hallway. “He’s like a brother to me, Darius, you can’t—“
“Quiet. Not now.” It’s a command, his voice dripping with it and I know now isn’t the time to push him. I walk down the hall in silence, turning down the winding hallways until we reach the end of one.
Darius opens the door and shoves me inside, still pissed at what he saw in the other room. His scent wraps around me along with traces of mine, and I wonder why he brought me to his bedroom. I spin, about to ask him when I see him closing the door, him on the other side. I move toward it, grabbing the handle. I pull but the door doesn’t open.
“Darius,” I whisper hiss. Wondering what in the Gods he’s doing.
“I’ll come back when they are gone,” he tells me through the door, his voice slightly muffled.
“I’m not staying in here on my own, where are the others?” I ask, panic rising within me.
“Safe,” is all he says, and then I hear his footsteps retreating.
“Darius!” I shout, banging on the door but he doesn’t reply. “Bastard,” I growl, and then call on my power to break the fucker down. Mist like strands reach the door, trying to force it open but nothing happens. “That fucker.” My breathing picks up and I lean back against the door, my heart beating out of control. Runa whimpers inside of me.
Shit.
What if Charles does something? What if he hurts someone and then finds my pack here?
What if Darius has lied all along and sides with Charles and tells him?
No. No, we are past that.
Trust, I remind myself. We made a blood oath to secure that. To put my mind at ease that he wouldn’t intentionally do something to hurt me. I look down at his bite mark on my forearm, a reminder that he made an oath to me. It gives off a subtle violet glow, like it’s reminding me that he wouldn’t put me in danger. And after everything he’s said and revealed to me lately… no, he wouldn’t do that to me, I’m sure of it.
But that doesn’t include the rest of my pack.
You are mine, I have a responsibility to protect you from any threat that isn’t me. Your pack is an extension of you, so they will also be protected as long as you are.
Remembering what he once said settles me, because he has stuck to that, especially when I wasn’t under his protection.
I rub my hand down my face. Darius hates the Highers as much as I do now. He wants Charles’s head on a pike. I need to remember that.
My eyes move to the door I haven’t been through yet, and I walk toward it, picking up the last carving I did, curious what’s on the other side. It opens to a large sitting and dining area, and I kick myself for not coming in here when Darius last locked me in the room. Beige walls and dark flooring give it a more neutral feel than the dark of his bedroom, and I instantly like it. I go over to the floor to ceiling windows and peer out. I can see the willow trees from here where Darius and I try to coax Runa out, and then further back I can see the same mountains in the distance like I could if I were on the balcony. I sit on the floor and lean my head on the window, waiting as the sun shines down on a lake further east, the water glistening in the light.
It’s hard to believe I’m in the position I am right now. My cozy life at Eridian is gone. The Highers know I’m alive and the most deadly one could be right beneath my feet for all I know, right now. My pack is scattered to Gods knows where, and we are uncovering more devious acts the Highers and the Elites have committed.
Anything is a lie at what they portray, you can’t trust any of them. The fact we are in a keep full of Elites that could come and stab any of us in the back at any moment doesn’t help my sleep whatsoever. The constant worry of some of them coming to this wing and spotting one of us is terrifying. Then there is Sarah. That’s probably why Charles is here, to let Darius know she’s missing. I doubt Darius thinks Charles is stupid enough to not suspect something’s going on. Damian and Zaide spoke with my aunt Selena and took her away from home. My aunt would have told them that when they realized Sarah was missing.
Darius knew it would come. That he would be questioned about his Elites’ presence there and that Damian and Zaide would be questioned. I have to trust they know what they are doing.
I just hope Darius can appease Charles enough to get him to leave. We can’t face him right now, even though I want nothing more than to go down and rip him to shreds. To demand he give me back Kade and tell me where my other pack members are, along with those he has stolen.
Who knows how many Elites are on his side inside the keep that will turn on their Alpha though. Darius is strong, but against Charles and how ever many Elites? It’s a death sentence. No. We can’t attack now. If Charles suspects anything, he will have them moved somewhere else. I’m sure of it.
And then he will turn on us.
He’s Higher Charles for a reason, more powerful than the rest, yet no one knows the extent of his power. Just that it’s strong.
I shiver at the memories forcing themselves into my mind, of the way he used some of that power on me.
I remember my blood slowing in my body. Every pump of my heart driving pain through my ribs that stole my breath. He also likes fire, lots and lots of fire. The bottom of my feet will attest to that. Though his fire isn’t normal.
I get up and pace the length of the room. Back and forth, back and forth. Shaking my arms out, I try to banish the reminders that my body will never look the same unless I spell it to do so. That I will always have the reminder of what they put me through.
Never escaping, never leaving. Just, always there.
I pass the windows again, but instantly stop, clutching the carving of a lilk tree. My heart beats erratically as I press my face to the glass and look far out into the distance. Black dots emerge. There has to be hundreds of them scattered over the grassy hills there. I press my palm to the window, swallowing hard as more and more come into view.
Then I realize exactly what it is.
Rogures.
So, so many of them.
My heart aches knowing that there will soon be an attack on a village somewhere and it will extinguish so many lives.
And all I am able to do is nothing.
Just watch as they move and pray to Zahariss that whoever those rogures come across, they run.
All they can do is run.
