I changed into my loungewear as soon as I got home, right after texting James.
Me: Just got home. I’ll probably take the longest nap known to humankind now, lol
A moment later, an unknown number texted me. I immediately knew it was him.
James: You mean like this?
Then he attached a picture of Shadow and Mist all cuddled up on his couch.
Me: Sooooooo cute
James: Can’t argue with that. Take it easy today, Maddie
As soon as I read his last text, I threw myself in bed, covered my shivering body with blankets, and dialed my brother’s number. I don’t want to do this, but if I’m not brave right now, I know I’ll never be.
The phone rings once, twice.
“Princess?”
A weight I’ve been carrying for far too long leaves my shoulders the second I hear my brother’s voice.
“Sammy,” I breathe out, relieved to hear his voice. It feels like a lifetime since the last time we spoke, and now I need him more than ever.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, all his fatherly instincts kicking in right on cue like they always do.
That breaks me.
My brother doesn’t deserve any of this. He’s been through enough in his life, starting with a mother who was too young when she had him and a father who left before he was even born.
He loves me, and I love him, and I couldn’t be more grateful that I grew up with him, but I still hate this.
I hate that I’m his problem.
When will I let him live his life and not make him worry about his little sister, who can’t seem to look after herself?
Tears run down my cheeks, chasing an endless finish line, and I break down.
“Maddie. Talk to me.” He never calls me by my name, and it only makes me cry harder, knowing that I’m making him upset. “Did you get hurt again?”
Not in the way he’s imagining.
He won’t see this coming, and it will break him too.
Why can’t we live in peace? Is it because of me?
Of course it’s you.
“Pete,” I hiccup. A deafening silence greets me from the other line, and I can only imagine what’s going through his head. “I saw him last night. H-He came…for m-me. To see me. He found me.”
“Fucking hell,” I hear him mutter under his breath, and then he’s moving. “Wait a second, okay? Don’t hang up.”
I hear a door closing, muffled voices, and then my brother speaks again. “You’re on speaker now. Grace and I are here. Tell us what happened, princess.” His voice sounds softer, probably because his wife has calmed him down.
I sniffle. “Where’s Lila?”
“She’s at a friend’s birthday party,” Grace answers. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”
We’re not done here, Maddie. You’re my daughter, and I won’t let you get away this time.
My father’s cruel words grip at my chest and force me to speak.
I tell them about how he waited for me outside of Monica’s Pub, about how he’d been following me around for a while. I tell them he wasn’t aggressive, but that he was adamant in keeping in touch when I told him I didn’t want to.
Throughout it all, I can feel my brother’s simmering rage from the phone. Grace does most of the talking, and I know it’s because he’s losing his mind.
“Did he threaten you in any way?” he finally asks, venom lacing each of his words.
“Not explicitly, but I think he’ll try to contact me again, even though I said I didn’t want to.”
“Do you feel physically endangered?”
“No.”
I don’t. Going by what James told me, I suspect my dad has had a few unpleasant encounters with the law over the years. That would explain why he left that day when he thought James was a cop and why he paled when I threatened him with telling the authorities.
“He told me he was ready to be a father to me now,” I tell them.
Sammy snorts, but there’s no humor behind it. “That fucker.”
“Do you want to stay in Warlington with us for a while?” Grace offers, as I suspected she would.
“No. I promise I’m fine here.”
The last thing I want is to intrude in their lives again now that they’ve finally gotten rid of me. And it’s not like I feel unsafe here. Sure, I was shaken up last night, but I truly don’t think Pete will do anything to me. Sammy told me himself once—he’s all bark, no bite. He remembers him better than I do.
“I don’t want you to be alone,” my brother says firmly.
“I’m not alone. My friends are here, and I see them every day.” It isn’t exactly the truth, but I do speak to them every day. And I’ve been seeing James a lot, although I guess that’s over. “I promise I’m fine here. I just wanted to tell you that I’ve seen him and he wants to rekindle our relationship—something I refuse to do. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“We’ll always worry about you, princess.” My brother’s words warm my heart and make me feel like shit at the same time. “I trust your judgment, all right? But if he talks to you again, you’re coming back home.”
“No, I’m not. I’m an independent woman with a job, Sammy, and a future I want to figure out here. I won’t run home just because some loser can’t take a hint. He won’t dictate what I do or don’t do with my life. If he comes back, we’ll let justice take care of him.”
Silence greets me from the other line until Grace says, the smile evident in her voice, “Well, you heard her.”
My brother sighs. I can’t see him, but I know he’s running a tattooed hand across his face. So dramatic. “Fine. But I want you to text me every day after you wake up and right before you go to bed. Nonnegotiable.”
I smile at his protective antics. He’ll never change, and I love him for it, but my poor Lila is in for a long ride. “Okay, Dad.”
He grunts. “I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
“Okay, you two.” Grace takes over the phone. “Pete has always been harmless, but we haven’t seen him in years. There’s no way to know if he’s become…dangerous.”
I don’t bring up what my father told me about Sammy—that when he reached out to him to see me, my brother denied him. I have no idea when that happened or what went down, but I don’t want to find out in this conversation or over the phone. I’ve had enough drama in the last twenty-four hours to last me a couple of decades, thank you very much.
“I understand,” I concede. “But I promise I’m fine.”
“Were you alone when he ambushed you in the parking lot?” my brother asks.
Heat climbs up my cheeks, and I’m glad they can’t see my face right now. “No, I was with a friend. He took a picture of his car and license plate.”
I know Sammy like the back of my hand, and it’s painfully obvious he’s zeroing in on that “he” as if his life depended on it. “Good thinking.”
I clear my throat to hide the embarrassment. “I’ll call you if anything else happens.”
“Okay, sweetheart. Thank you for telling us right away,” Grace says, and I want nothing more than to hug her right now. She used to give me the best cuddles when I was a little girl, and I miss them like crazy.
“We love you,” Sammy says. “Please text me as soon as anything happens, and know that you’re always welcome here, okay?”
Instead of bringing me comfort, his words make me feel even guiltier. He wants me to come home, and I don’t want to intrude.
Push, pull, push, pull, until the rope snaps in half.
“I love you guys. Give Lila a big kiss for me.”
“Will do. Bye, princess.”
When we hang up, the sudden silence in my apartment overwhelms me for the first time. It’s not that I’m scared for my life after knowing my father wants to contact me again, but I realize I don’t want to be alone anymore.
Until today, I’ve never had any issue being by myself. Yes, I love my friends, but “me time” has always been a priority.
But now…
Now I want to share some of that time with somebody else. With someone I can be myself around, ugly side and all.
Without thinking of the consequences, I open our text thread again.
Me: Do you think my ankle would be fine on a hike?
My phone buzzes with his reply only a minute later.
James: An easy and short one, yes. Why do you ask?
Me: I miss nature and want to test my ankle
James: I know a couple of good spots. I can send you the location if you want.
Remembering his profile description on the dating app, I muster all my courage and text him back.
Me: What if you come with me instead?
A minute passes, two. The typing bubbles appear and disappear twice before his one-word reply comes through.
James: When?
Me: Tomorrow morning?
Another infinite pause.
James: I’ll pick you up at 9 am
