No.
Fuck no.
Hell fucking no.
My chest pounds with heavy thumps, my heart threatening to rip free of my chest, a deep-rooted compulsion taking over, telling me not to hesitate, not to wait, but to beat on the fucker in front of me and send him on his way before a trail of terror follows him to this very doorstep.
He cannot be here; he should not be here.
Not ever, my mind screams before whispering back, you should have seen this coming.
He always did have a knack for “wrong place, wrong time,” or so he’d claim when problems fell at his feet, and with an ease a real man wouldn’t possess, kicked it toward mine.
Forever the victim, yet always the fuck-up.
“Surprise.” Memphis smiles, but there’s tension in his form, and it transforms into something a lot fucking deeper, the second his gaze finds mine. “You gonna let me in, or is my buddy the only one allowed?”
Real fucking subtle, asshole.
“Oh!” Davis shouts, hustling to step back.
She’s shaking, completely overcome with the sight of her brother. Her hand flies to the chain lock, and before I know what I’m doing, mine covers hers, halting the movement.
Her eyes snap up, the shock-infused happiness filling the room only moments ago morphing into confusion, creating creases along her temple.
Don’t let him in here, my conscience screams, only pain and problems will follow.
“Crew…” She frowns.
There’s no fucking way I can get rid of him, not now, not when she’s set eyes on the man she’s missed. Biting into my cheek, I gently nudge her, so I can close the door fully, as it’s the only way to dislodge the lock, my hand briefly skimming over her back, a heavy need to hold on to the invisible tie between us.
Davis yanks it open, wrapping her arms around her brother in a hug so tight, a pang of jealousy heats my skin, as ridiculous as it might seem.
It’s not though, not really.
Memphis meets my gaze over his sister’s shoulder, his expression fixed with a pinched smile.
“Come in, come in.” Davis jerks out of the way, allowing him to step by.
Teeth clenched tight, I track the man’s movements as he steps farther into the apartment with an ease he shouldn’t feel. This is his sister’s house, yes, but she doesn’t even know him anymore.
Not that she understands that. In her eyes, he’s still her protective big brother.
Davis’s smile is wide as she locks the door, but before she can pass me to get to him, I block her path, holding her gaze and searching for something deeper than the bright shine of happiness in her eyes, but that’s all I find.
Lifting my hand, I swipe the tears that slipped free, offering her a small smile she returns, even if she does move out of my grasp so fast that my arm stays suspended in the air a moment after her escape.
Memphis is frowning at the two of us when I spin, but he quickly settles his features, focusing on his sister. “Man, look at you. It’s been a minute.”
It’s been four years.
“Yeah,” she says anxiously, tucking her hair behind her ear as she moves closer to him. “God, I can’t believe you’re here.” She shakes her head.
“I can’t believe he’s here.”
Memphis looks to me, and Davis follows, her eyes flaring wide, mouth frozen open as if she’s not quite sure how to respond.
Of course, that’s the first shit he says. Prick.
Standing tall, I move in behind her, wrapping my arm around her waist and tugging her into me. “A lot’s happened since you’ve been gone.”
Davis’s hand instantly settles over mine, her touch tender as she curls her thumb around mine.
His eyes narrow slightly. “Looks like it.”
I hope it fucking does.
Davis laughs nervously, maneuvering herself from my hold, but not before squeezing my arm reassuringly.
The twitch of Memphis’s lips as she does has my chest flexing.
“I’m so happy you’re here, I… where did you come from?” She moves toward him, her hands fiddling in front of her. “Are you okay? I mean, you know, are you—”
“Are you clean?”
Her head snaps my way, eyes widening as if to say what the hell, worried the question might trigger him, I’m sure.
“I am, yeah. I’m done with it.” He nods, pushing up the sleeves of his shirt, only to pull them back down. “No desire whatsoever. I’m good.”
Liar.
Maybe he’s been off the bottle a few days, possibly a week or two, though not likely, but the “no desire” part? That’s a load of shit. It’s not easy, I know this, but denying I hear is worse.
Davis begins crying again, and he nearly stumbles when she goes in for another hug.
I want to tear her away, shield her, but when it comes to Memphis, that’s never quite been possible. She’s always been blind when it comes to her big brother.
The man is as toxic as the poison he pours into his body.
“That’s amazing!” She looks to me. “Crew, did you hear? How awesome.” She whips around again. “We should call Mom and Dad and tell them! They’ll be so—”
“Whoa, whoa.” Memphis’s laugh is tight, and he nudges her off him as he steps back. “Not yet, but maybe soon. I want to visit with you first.” His eyes snap to mine. “Maybe alone.”
“I live here.”
Memphis’s head yanks back toward me. “What?” He looks to his sister, the same chastising expression he used to give her when she chose the seat in the middle, beside me. I want to slap it off his pale face. “Dad’s allowing him to bunk with you?”
“She’s not a child anymore, Memphis. She doesn’t need anyone’s permission for anything.”
He scowls, unease clawing at my skin when Davis looks to me, and I steel myself so I don’t react when she brushes off the topic, to avoid a possible argument when the asshole only arrived, but my girl doesn’t do that.
“Mom and Dad are happy I’m not living alone anymore, but even if they weren’t, it wouldn’t matter. This is my place, and Crew isn’t just a roommate.” Davis smiles my way, unable to hold it in. “We’re together now.”
I want to beat my chest like the caveman she calls me.
I should have known she’d have my back, that she’d be proud to be mine as I am to be hers. I don’t know why I doubted her just then.
Because it’s always been Memphis’s feelings first, the world’s second.
Memphis clears his throat, looking away as he nods. “Wow, I uh… didn’t expect this, but I guess I’m cool with it.”
Cool with it.
Cool with it?
Like I fucking care.
Like we need his blessing or approval.
My glare is instant, and I take a step toward him, but Davis spins to him then, smiling, completely missing what I did fucking not.
“Are you, I don’t know… hungry? We were going to go to dinner later, but we can stay in. I could order something, or we have frozen pizza?”
He nods, looking around. “Yeah, that works. Think I can use the shower while you make us something?”
“Yeah. Yes!” She jolts forward, eager to cater to his every need, just like she used to. “It’s the middle door there”—she points—“the towels are in there.”
“Cool.” He starts down the hall, pausing a few steps in and facing her again. “I don’t have anything else to put on.” His eyes lift to mine.
Prick.
As expected, she turns to me, a hopeful look in her eyes.
“Yeah.” I grind my teeth, my footsteps heavy as I slip inside my room, grabbing a scrubby pair of sweats and a T-shirt I don’t care for. I stop in front of him, dropping them into his hands.
“Thanks.” He studies me a moment before closing himself in the bathroom.
Davis dashes into the kitchen, yanks the freezer open, and grabs the frozen pizzas. She tears at the box, dumping the frozen things onto a cookie sheet, pulling flour and sugar down as well as if to create a dessert to go with it, her mind running a mile a minute.
I have to talk to her before Memphis is out of the shower.
“Baby—”
“I can’t believe this!” she says, scooping a cup full of flour into a pan, laughing seconds later, before setting it all down and gripping the counter.
She hangs her head, and when she looks up, tears shine back at me, but it’s her smile that creates the ache in my chest. It’s damn near blinding.
I hold my arms open, attempting to lodge the sigh threatening to escape my throat, and like I knew exactly what she needed, she barrels into me, curling into my chest, my arms tight around her.
“He’s clean, Crew. And he’s here? Like what? I can’t believe it.”
“Yeah, it’s a surprise, Sweets.” I kiss her head, bending when she raises hers, and press my lips to hers. “Why don’t you go get dressed? I’ll take care of this.”
“I know you guys aren’t on the best of terms, but—”
“Hey,” I call her eyes to mine. “Don’t worry about me, okay? Go. I got the pizzas.”
“K.” She settles, a soft exhale leaving her. “I love you.”
“Love you, too, baby.”
I watch her walk away, dragging my hands down my face, my eyes closing a moment.
Fuck me, my muscles are stiff with unease, the inevitable clusterfuck looming over me like a fucking hurricane.
People can change, I know this. I know alcoholism is a disease that can be overcome, but this is Memphis, and while I’d love to be proven wrong, I know I won’t be.
It has to start at the core of the person consumed by it, and I have zero faith he’s ready to ride the wicked wave of recovery.
If only Davis would allow herself to consider the possibility. She won’t, and it’s part of the reason I love her. She’s incredibly selfless and somehow holds on to hope when experience should have dimmed the light in her eyes that still shines for him. I don’t want or expect her to give up on him, but I don’t want her to hurt because of him. Hurt for him, of course, we all have at one point, and she’s his sister, how could she not? But because of him?
Absolutely fucking not.
No part of me believes his sudden arrival is random. I just have to figure out what it is that brought him here, so I can attempt to prepare for what comes next.
Knowing my old, fucked-up friend, it’s nothing good.
How hours go by so fast after Memphis’s arrival, I don’t know. I’m pretty sure I spent it staring at the side of his head while he kept his focus on his sister, his jerky movements every few minutes letting me know it was no easy task.
Now, it’s after midnight, the show Memphis and Davis put on over, but I don’t realize this until ending credits make a loud exit, a preview for something else popping onto the screen.
Davis finally allowed herself to close her eyes, her body settled into the left side of the couch, Memphis on the right.
The two talked for hours, mostly about old memories I was around for, and while she tried to pull me into the conversation, I answered as soft and as short as I could, preferring to take the silent chair for the evening.
“She’s asleep,” Memphis announces.
As if I didn’t know.
Wordless, I push to my feet, stopping at the edge of the couch, prepared to scoop her into my arms.
“I can carry—”
“She’s mine, Memphis,” I tell him plainly, and I don’t bother saying more.
One swift move and she’s in my arms, my knees bending to gently lower her to the bed, not a minute later.
Hair falls into her face, and I use my knuckles to glide it back, tucking it around her ear.
Davis smiles in her sleep, burying her mouth beneath the covers with a soft sigh, the second I fold them over her.
Back in the kitchen, I ignore the man whose eyes are tracking my every step and grab both sets of car keys from the counter, Davis’s purse on the back of the chair, and double-check that the locks are clicked into place.
“I guess I can take the couch,” Memphis says as I pass him, almost huffing the words.
“Then my bed would be empty.” I stop, locking my gaze with his.
He stares back for a long beat. “Right. You’re actually with my sister.”
I don’t acknowledge him but start moving again.
It’s not until I’m seconds away from closing myself in the room with my girl that he speaks again.
“Think that’s smart?” he quips, a hint of objection in his tone.
My head snaps over my shoulder, glare sharp and instant.
Memphis stands at the end of the hall, glaring right back, so I meet the motherfucker where he’s at. Chest to fucking chest, but my eyes are two inches higher.
“In a perfect world, you never would have knocked on this door.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt it.” He smirks. “Too bad she’s really happy to have me.”
I want to wrap my hands around his neck and squeeze until his face is as blue as the circles beneath his eyes, as the bruises he thinks I didn’t see on his arm.
“Don’t fuck with me, Memphis. Nothing is like it was four years ago when you tucked your tail between your legs and ran. Nothing.”
He stares, face blank, but eyes searching, and then suddenly, he laughs, tapping my arm with his hand. “I’m playing, Crew, damn. I’m just happy to be here, see her and find you.”
Find me…
My eyes narrow, but he’s oblivious.
“Anyway, I’m gonna hit the sack. I haven’t slept in a bed for far too long.”
His hand comes up, clasping onto my shoulder for a split second before he steps away.
I stand frozen long after the door clicks in place… and just like that, everything else does too.
I watched the sun creep through the patio doors, having tossed and turned all night, but I must have managed to knock out right after because the next thing I know, I’m reaching across the bed, finding nothing but a pillow.
She left me in bed.
Pushing to my feet, I drag my hands down my face and glance at my phone.
My brows jump. Damn. It’s almost one.
Not bothering with a shirt, I step out of the room, headed to find my girl, and I must have been anxious, but too tired to realize it, as the second I see her, a heavy exhale pushes past my lips.
She’s balanced on the couch, laughing at something Memphis says, and as I round the corner, slipping into full view, his words die in his throat, my girl peeking over her shoulder in the same second.
The irritation threatening to show itself disappears when she hits me with a wide and warm smile, instantly pushing to her feet and padding across the floor to meet me halfway.
“Hey,” she whispers, an apology in her tone.
I know why it’s there. Do I hate that he was the first person who got to see her smile this morning, fuck yeah, but it’s not like she snuck out of bed for a private conversation she wanted to hide from me, and even if she did, I shouldn’t be pissed. I would be, but that’s the irrational, jealous side of me. The hint of sanity I somehow have when it comes to her manages to understand she needs quiet time with her brother, but I know her. She doesn’t want me to feel like I’m being left out or cast aside. She’s too sweet like that. Maybe the younger me would feel exactly that, but I’m not a punk kid anymore and Davis is no longer the untouchable girl across the hall.
Yet, you’re tripping like a little bitch, too many thoughts and possibilities racing through your mind…
Still, she has nothing to apologize for, so I force a smile, wrap her up, and lower my lips to her forehead. “Morning, baby,” I whisper.
“Morning.” She melts into me, hugging what looks like a cup of cocoa in her hands. “I was going to make breakfast, but we’re out of milk, and apparently, everything I have requires it.”
“You mean you only wanted pancakes or waffles or French toast?”
Her grin is instant, and it’s her who pushes on her toes, bringing her mouth to mine.
Fuck yes.
“That’s exactly what I mean.” She laughs, her lips meeting mine, on a slow sigh.
“I told her we could go get it right quick,” Memphis pipes up.
My muscles tense before I can stop them, and Davis lowers to her feet.
“I didn’t want you to wake up, and us be gone.” She shrugs one shoulder.
I press my thumb to her chin, sliding it along her jaw. “Thank you for that.”
“Man, forget the milk,” Memphis breaks in again. “I’m shocked she owns a coffeepot.”
“She didn’t.” Without saying it, I tell him it’s mine.
She’s mine.
He pretends he didn’t hear me.
Reluctantly, I release Davis, whispering for only her to hear, “I’m going to take a shower if you want to join me.”
I know when I offer what the answer will be. While she might have kissed me without thought, the need to feel the connection between us as strong for her as it is me, she’s not going to be comfortable with her big brother knowing she’s naked under the water with me.
Her smile is rueful, but I wink for her sake, and then she turns my blood to lead.
“They didn’t allow Memphis to have any of his things in the program he was in, and he came straight here after earning his token. I offered to take him to get a few things today.”
My jaw clenches, but I nod, running my fingertips up and down her left arm. Program. Right.
“Okay.” I nod again. No big deal. I’ll be right there to watch his every fucking move. “What time are we going to Layla’s again?”
“I texted her a little bit ago, and she was happy to reschedule to Thursday.”
It’s already starting.
I run my tongue along the inside of my teeth. “You sure? You were excited to get things started, Layla too, from what I heard.”
“No, yeah, I am.” She nods swiftly. “And we will, soon, but Layla honestly seemed relieved, something about bandannas and chaps?”
“Oh, shit, that’s right.” I chuckle, despite the strain in my stomach. “It’s her birthday Saturday, and Wil promised her a tribute to Magic Mike.”
Davis’s eyes bulge, a small blush settling in when I raise a brow.
“What? Every girl has seen that movie.”
I log this shit for later. I want to know what it was in that movie that has her turning redder by the second.
“Don’t worry about Davis, Crew. I’ll watch out for her, and we won’t be gone long, but she said you have somewhere to be at four. We definitely won’t be back by then.”
My eyes slice to Memphis, holding, but before I say something I shouldn’t before I lift my woman and carry her to the room to seduce some sense into her, I kiss her forehead and walk straight into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.
Is he fucking joking me? He knew good and well what he was doing, making sure I was out of the picture for the afternoon, and for what? To lie to her some more?
Program.
Yeah, fucking right.
His parents took out a second mortgage on their house to put him through one for the third and final time. He had sworn he was ready to get clean that last time, willingly putting his parents in deeper debt when they’d already pulled thousands from their savings in an attempt to help him over the years. What he didn’t tell them that last time was he had no choice, if he didn’t go into a program “willingly,” as his public defender put it, the courts here in San Diego County planned to throw his sorry ass in jail. One too many drunken arrests will do that.
There’s no way his parents would step in again, and by the way he acted when Davis excitedly suggested they call them, I know I’m right—not that he called them to ask.
Not that he called them at all.
When he bailed on the program and didn’t show for court, his dad cut him out, unwilling to watch the way his son hurt his mom with every move he made. Or didn’t make, depending on how you look at it.
Combine that and the fact that I would bet my life Memphis has not a dollar to his name, there was no fucking program. No reset in his life.
Once a liar, always a liar.
Davis doesn’t know this, and I hope she never has to learn, but liquor is not the only problem Memphis has, gambling is too.
The guy gets drunk and spends what he doesn’t have, tripling his trouble when bookies come knocking.
He said he “found me.”
Wonder who the fuck came looking first?
Davis can’t go out alone with him.
Guinness World Records would be impressed with the length of my shower—I’m in my room, angrily tearing clothes from my closet before the stupid fucking song playing in the living room loops into the next.
The door opens behind me, and I whip around, lip curled and ready to tell the motherfucker to slow his roll, to back the fuck up and get the fuck out. He might have my bed for the time being, but that’s only because I don’t need it. I have hers.
I have her.
But my eyes crash with whiskey-colored ones, and just like that, my mood shifts. Lifts.
She comes to me, her hands planting on my still damp neck and sliding up until her fingers are flitting across the short hairs near my ears.
My fingers follow suit, threading through her hair and tugging until her head is tipped back, giving me control. My tongue plunges into her mouth, and she kisses me just as hungrily, her breaths growing short and quick, so when she asks without words, pulling her lips free, I give her what she wants, closing my lips around the hollow of her throat, and sucking her skin until I meet her earlobe.
“Baby, you need me?”
“Yes.” Her fingers find my towel, tugging, and then it’s pooled around our feet. “Can you be fast?”
“Oh, I can be supersonic when I want to be—”
“Ready when you are, sis,” Memphis interrupts, a heavy knock on the fucking door.
Motherfucker.
Davis’s eyes fly to mine, low and dilated, but I know we’re done here. For now.
Sensing my concern, her frown settles in. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t like you out alone.”
She grins, loving my protectiveness, but she’s missing the point. “I’ll be with Memphis.”
That’s the problem, Sweets. He is the problem.
As much as I hate it, this is a good opportunity to figure out what he’s up to. I might not be mixed in the life he dragged me into anymore, but many men have stumbled into my bar over the years, some from the years I want to forget, some joining it after I was free of the life they lived. Either way, I have people I can ask without drawing attention.
Sighing, I kiss her lips, squeeze her ass, and make a promise. “Tonight.”
“Tonight.” She beams.
“Keep your phone charged and in your back pocket, not in your bag.”
She smiles, not requiring an explanation. “Yes, caveman.”
She walks out the door, and I’m right behind her, my phone on my dash, tracking her location with every mile driven.
Thank fuck she took Willie’s offer to park the Chevy in the empty lot behind his brewhouse until her apartment had a second parking space added to the lease. The last thing she needs is the guilt that would follow if Memphis saw it and realized it really was hers now.
Will she tell him about the truck anyway?
Does he even know she graduated college?
Does he even remember the contingency in place in their grandfather’s will? That the truck would go to the first Franco grandchild to graduate college.
Sure, her dad sent it to the shop before she was done, let her pay for the parts and labor, if needed, just as he did Memphis. And, like Memphis, if she couldn’t keep her end of the deal, he would honor his dad’s wishes and take it back.
He knew his daughter would never drop out of college, like his son did and never get kicked out like his foster son did.
Knowing the man, he likely put the title in her name the day he realized Memphis was lost and didn’t want to be found.
Davis never did catch on to that. On one hand, I hope she won’t have to, but on the other, I wish she’d figure it out now to save herself the hurt of his backslide.
I try to focus on the paperwork in front of me, but it’s no use. The words and numbers and bullshit are all running together, and I can’t fucking sit here anymore, so I head down to the bar, my mind reeling.
I want to know what time they woke up and what they talked about this morning. Did they have hours to speak about a lot? Did she ask him where he’s been and what he’s been doing?
Is she asking him now?
Will he lie to her face?
Does he have reason to lie?
Are you being a paranoid prick?
Groaning, I shake my head.
I hate that I have to worry like this. I should be able to trust the man she’s loved longer and deeper than anyone else in her life, the one she’d give anything for, always, without question, but I can’t. For her sake, and for mine, I fucking can’t because I refuse to watch him destroy her.
Closing myself inside the bar, I start on the main floor, putting some music on and get busy. One by one, I remove all the bottles from the shelves along the back wall, cleaning the mirror behind them even though Paula did four nights ago. Digging out the LED strips I bought a while back, but never took the time to put on, I tear them open and roll them out, sticking them to the underside of each shelf to keep the strips hidden and to allow the bright colors to beam against the bottles that’ll be beneath it.
Once it’s all back in place, I polish the bar top, the tables, and the frame of the stage. I shine the silver of the stools and swap the VIP tables around a bit.
I’m knee-deep in bleach when Drew’s shoes come into view. “Damn, brother. Fuck up so soon?”
Huffing, I drop back on my ass, glaring up at him.
He offers me a hand, so I slap my palm in his, letting him tug me up.
Eye to eye, my brother looks deeper, a frown building across his brow. “What happened? Where is she?”
“Memphis is back.”
My brother’s face falls flat. “Oh fuck.”
“Yeah.” Oh fuck is right.
