Michelle pulled to a stop in front of Amherst Preparatory School just as a noisy cluster of kids came rushing through the double-doors.
Just in time, she thought, stepping out of the car. Now that Precious was in school, she spent her mornings at the youth center buried in clerical work, sending thank you letters as the funds kept coming in, and getting things ready for the after-school kids. She’d taken on a lot more responsibility since Rose had returned to teaching.
Since they’d been able to raise the funds they needed, she spent the early afternoons going over blueprints with Bill Wilson of Wilson’s Construction. She was so excited that their plan for a new center was finally coming to fruition. She was happy her nanny position allowed her the space and time to devote to her cause. If she never did anything else worthwhile with her life, Michelle felt she would go to her grave contented that she’d done this good deed for the needy children in Manchester.
Maybe losing her job and hitting rock bottom was a blessing, for she could not have accomplished half as much for the kids if she was still in the corporate world.
“Hi, Michelle.”
Michelle turned as Belinda’s mother approached her from behind. Maggie was the closest friend Michelle had on Jefferson Drive, so far. Well she didn’t have a choice, actually, since Belinda and Precious were best friends. She’d met some of the other parents when she and Erik had attended Open House at the school, but Maggie had remained her favorite.
“Hey, Maggie. What’s up?”
“The weekend. We’re leaving for Hampton Beach this afternoon to enjoy the fantastic weather. It might be the last before winter sets in. Are you guys going anywhere?”
Erik had told Michelle that he’d rented a cottage on Cape Cod, but it hadn’t been used because of the many upheavals this summer. She would like to see what it was like on the Cape, how the folks on the other side of the tracks vacationed. “Erik just came back from a week-long conference in D.C. last night. He probably just wants to relax at home.” She waved as she saw Precious and Belinda tumble down the steps of the school.
“Erik is one lucky man to have found you,” Maggie said. “We were worried after Holly left, but you’re great with Precious. I don’t think I’ve seen her this happy since her mother died.”
Precious came up and wrapped her arms around Michelle. “How was school?” she asked the little girl.
“Boring,” Precious and Belinda said in unison.
Michelle and Maggie rolled their eyes, and laughed.
“Now that the girls are in school, we should plan some lunch dates and shopping sprees,” Maggie said.
A week ago, Michelle would not have been able to afford it. But since she’d become Erik’s secret wife, he’d deposited a huge amount of money into her account. He wanted her to feel like his wife, at least in one other aspect than the bedroom. She could walk away today and be good to start over anywhere in the world, but she won’t trade Precious and Erik for anything. “Sounds great,” she told Maggie.
“I’ll call you.” Maggie grabbed her daughter’s hand.
“Bye, Belinda,” Precious called as Belinda and Maggie walked to their Volvo SUV, loaded with weekend luggage.
“Bye, Precious. Have a fun weekend.”
Michelle helped Precious into the car. “So school was boring, huh?” she asked as she leaned over to buckle her seatbelt.
Precious grabbed her around the neck and planted a sound wet kiss on her cheek.
“Whoa, what was that for?”
“Cause you look like you could use a hug.”
“Oh, I do, do I?” Michelle rubbed her nose against Precious’. She did need a hug to calm the quivering in her stomach. She was going to tell Erik about her father, today.
“So what’s the problem? Want to talk about it?”
Michelle stared into her innocent, trusting eyes, marveling at her ability to pick up on her mood. It was true when you were close to people, you could read them like a book. When Erik didn’t come down for coffee this morning, she knew something was wrong.
“I miss hanging out with you all day,” she said closing the door, then quickly walking around the car to slide behind the wheel.
“I miss you, too. Maybe we can do something fun like go see Yasmine and Peter or Uncle Robert,” Precious said with a hopeful lilt in her voice.
“We can, if your father doesn’t have any plans for you,” Michelle answered as she pulled out from the curb.
“Where’s Daddy, anyway? He was supposed to pick me up.”
Michelle had been wondering the same thing since Erik called and asked her to pick up Precious. He’d said he was in the middle of something important. “He’s at home.”
“Goody. It makes me sad when he goes away. Did your daddy go away when you were a little girl, Michelle?”
“Yes.” And I wish he’d stayed the hell away.
“Did it make you sad?”
She slowed down as she approached a four-way stop. “No, I had Uncle Robert to play with me.”
“I wish I had a little brother or a sister to play with me. Then I won’t be so sad when Daddy goes away. But you play with me, and I’m not so sad anymore, but I still miss my daddy, and my mommy, too.”
As Michelle eased up off the brakes and proceeded across the intersection, her heart ached for the child whose world had been turned upside down by the loss of her mother. Even though she was trying as hard as she could to fill the maternal void, no matter how close they got, Michelle knew she could never replace Cassie in Precious’ life.
“I’m happy Daddy’s home. Are you, Michelle?”
“Yes.” She was both happy and nervous. Telling Erik about her father was not something she was looking forward to. All week long, she’d been rehearsing the speech she should have given last Saturday after their dinner guests left.
She was all prepped to confess that night, but while she was putting Precious to bed, Erik was called to the hospital. She was asleep when he got home and then he left early the next morning. She’d planned to tell him over coffee this morning, but he never came down, and had asked Mrs. Hayes to bring breakfast to his room for him and Precious. He was still there when she left to take Precious to school and then go on to Manchester.
The only communication she’d had with him all day was when he interrupted her meeting to ask that she pick up Precious from school. He was unusually vague, seemingly cool with her. He was almost as aloof as the day they met.
Something had happened in D.C. She was certain of it. She’d been living with this man for more than two months. He had a routine. This was the first time it had changed. No running, no lingering over the paper and early morning coffee.
A lot had happened since Boston, she realized. Danielle’s death and the conference had kept him preoccupied. But now that he had time to reflect, she wondered if he were having second thoughts about his impulsive behavior in marrying her, making love to her. Did he feel he’d betrayed Cassie’s memory by remarrying before her case was solved? She had no idea what was going on in his head, and it was making her crazy.
“Why’s Mommy’s car out?” Precious asked as Michelle came up the driveway and parked behind the fire red Porsche that had been garaged for probably over two years.
As Precious bolted out of the car, Michelle watched Erik deposit an armful of clothes into the trunk of the Porsche. He slammed it shut and turned around just as his daughter threw herself at him.
“How’s my baby girl?” he asked hugging her to his chest and planting kisses on her face.
Michelle wished his love for her could be as open and wholesome as it was for his daughter. Her mind burned with the memory of being held against that strong naked body, the thrill of his mouth on hers and on every other crevice of her body. Her blood soared as she recalled the raw passion that had consumed them. Her whole body ached for his touch again.
Over his daughter’s shoulder, Erik met Michelle’s gaze as she leaned against the hood of the Jaguar. The longing he saw in her beautiful black eyes stirred a primal need deep within his own soul. He’d missed her something fiercely while he was in D.C. He’d dreamed about her every night and thought about her all day, so much that he’d been unable to concentrate on the brilliant and informative lectures going on around him.
Then yesterday, he’d finally cornered Clayton and demanded answers. It wasn’t even close to what he’d expected, but it had, nevertheless, left him wondering if he’d ever be able to trust, much less love another woman again. He even thought of annulling his secret marriage and letting Michelle go.
God, he still couldn’t believe what Cassie had done. How she’d deceived him for five long years, just because of something some stupid psychic had told her. If she’d only trusted him. So full were his anger and sadness, he’d no will, no energy to get out of bed this morning. He hadn’t wanted to see Michelle. He hadn’t wanted to see anyone. He’d just wanted his head and the world to stop spinning. He’d felt as lost and hopeless as the morning after Cassie’s death.
But when Precious bounced into his bed, shrieking with joy that he was home, Erik knew he had to go on for her, just as he had two years ago. When she began babbling about all the fun things she and Michelle did while he was away, hope rose in Erik’s heart once again. She was the happy, spirited child she’d been when her mother was alive. He wanted to keep her that way.
And seeing Michelle now, his beautiful wife, with love in her glittering black eyes, Erik knew keeping her around was just as vital to him as it was to Precious. He needed her to banish the pain, the anger, and the sadness from his heart, as only she could do.
“I need to talk with Michelle, Muffin. Mrs. Hayes just took a fresh batch of chocolate-chip cookies out of the oven. Tell her I say it’s okay if you have one with a glass of milk.”
Erik set his daughter on the ground then like a man on a mission, he closed the short distance between him and the sweet little woman he had grown to depend on so much—too much. She smelled lovely. He wanted to drag her into his arms, hold her close to his heart and kiss her senseless, but he couldn’t—not here. “Thanks for picking her up at the last minute,” he said, smiling down at her.
“It was no problem. She’s happy to see you.”
Her eyes looked vague, worried. “And you? Are you happy to see me, Michelle?”
She shrugged. “I guess.”
“You guess? You’re supposed to be happy to see me. I’m your husband of just two weeks, Mrs. Michelle Juliet LaCrosse.” He loved the sound of that name.
Her face took on a somber expression. “I’m happy to see you, Erik. The problem is I have to tell you something that could have a big impact on our relationship.”
“Are you pregnant?”
She shook her head. “No, it’s nothing like that.”
A knot formed in the pit of Erik’s stomach. He didn’t know if it was from relief or regret. “So what else can you possibly tell me that could change our relationship, Michelle? Did you accidentally tell someone that you and I are married?”
She folded her hands across her stomach and dropped her gaze. As he watched her chest rise and fall with the effort of her ragged breathing, Erik knew it was big. Fear came tumbling down on him. He’d been gone a week. What the heck could have happened to make her so distraught? His hands went to her shoulders. “What is it, Michelle?”
She lifted her head and stared at him through teary black eyes. “It’s about my father.”
“Is he back from the dead?”
“Oh, Erik.” She looked away from him.
Now he was confused. “What about your father?”
“He’s alive.”
Erik dropped his hands from her shoulders as a cold chill swept over him. “What do you mean he’s alive? You and your brother, and your best friend sat in my house just a week ago and swore your father was dead.”
Her lips trembled. “I’m sorry, Erik. He isn’t dead. I lied to you and I convinced them to corroborate my story.”
Not another lie from another woman he… Erik balled his hands into fists and closed his eyes. “Why?”
“He’s made my life so miserable. I told you how he used to hit me when I was a child.”
This better be good, he thought, as he pinned her with his eyes.
“A couple years ago, he stole my debit card, figured out my PIN, which was my mother’s birth date, and cleaned out my bank account—all in one night. I had a sizable amount of money saved—money I had plans for. I didn’t know what he’d done until I stopped to put gas in my car two days later and couldn’t find my card. When I called the bank and they told me I had seventy dollars and fifteen cents to my name, I almost died, Erik. Then shortly after, I lost my job, my car, and my apartment. I lost everything I’d worked so hard for—even my clothes were stolen from me. If it weren’t for Yasmine and my brother, I probably would have ended up on the streets.” The tears ran unrestrained down her face.
Erik’s anger switched gear. “That bastard. I’m going to break his neck for what he did to you. Where is he, Michelle? Where is he?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since that night. As far as I’m concerned, he’s dead. I never want to see him again. That’s why it was so easy to tell you he was dead when you asked me about him. I’m sorry for lying to you. I didn’t plan to lie. It just slipped out.”
All of a sudden, Erik didn’t care who was watching them. He pulled Michelle into his arms and buried her wet face in his chest. He threaded his fingers through her soft silky hair. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. He should be dead for hurting you. I can’t understand how a man could be so cruel to his own child. You’re his little girl, no matter how old you get. He’s supposed to protect you, not hurt you.”
She raised her head and gazed up at him, love and wonder in her eyes. “You’re not upset that I lied to you?”
“I am disappointed, but under the circumstances, I understand why you did. Just don’t lie to me again.” He paused. “Is there anything else you need to tell me, about him or anything in your past?” he asked with an urgency that surprised even him.
She shuddered and pushed out of his arms. “No.”
Erik watched her closely for a moment then glanced at Cassie’s car loaded with half her wardrobe, and wishing she had trusted him with the truth. He’d known Cassie for twenty-two years, Michelle for three months, and Michelle had just proved that she trusted him more easily than Cassie ever did, and with something far less significant. That told him a lot.
“Why is Cassie’s car out?” Michelle asked, following his gaze. “And why is it filled with her clothes?”
“I’m giving it all away to charity. Someone’s coming by to pick them up later.”
She eyed him warily. “Why now?”
He couldn’t tell her he’d been blind-sided by the woman he’d loved for most of his life. He held up his left hand. “See, the ring is gone. I tossed it into the Potomac River, and I let go the private investigator I’d hired to find the drunk who’d killed her. I’m done living in the past. I want my life back.”
Michelle’s heart danced with excitement. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Erik was ready to move on. There was no need to tell him that her father was a drunk since he was long gone by the night Cassie was killed. Just like Erik, she was ready to let go of the baggage of her past. Well, that part of it. She was still certain that Dwight Carter was hiding something, especially since Robert had begun searching through the boxes of old papers and stuff they’d stored from their past in his brownstone, and so far, hadn’t found anything that linked Dwight to a life before New Hampshire.
Strange. Very strange, indeed. Everybody kept links to their pasts. That is if they had nothing to hide. It was as if Dwight had fallen from the sky with a four-year-old son and a pregnant wife, plop into the middle of Manchester.
“Hey, baby, where did you go?”
Michelle started at the sound of Erik’s voice. She looked up at him. “When you said you were in the middle of something important, I never thought it was this big. Actually, when you didn’t come down for coffee this morning I was kind of scared that you were regretting what happened between us.”
His chest heaved. “So much has happened in the past two weeks to keep us apart, but I’ve missed you every moment of every day. I need to be with you. I need my wife.”
“I’ve missed you too, Erik. I’m going insane with my need for you.” She glanced up at the house, hope dancing in her eyes. “Can we make love tonight after Precious is in bed?”
“We’ll make love tonight, but not here,” Erik stated brusquely. He didn’t want any memories of Michelle tied to this house. As a matter of fact, he was thinking about selling it and moving back to Granite Falls. He missed his home, the place where he was born and raised. He’d only moved to Amherst to be close to his mother. She’d been denied the opportunity of raising her son, and he was hell-bent on giving her the chance to make it up with her grandchildren—well, her only grandchild, he thought with a sour twist of his lips. But recently, Felicia had been spending a great deal of time in Granite Falls, comforting his grieving father. Cassie was gone, and since it seemed the police would never find the man who killed her, there was nothing keeping him here.
Except, maybe Michelle. He still hadn’t quite figured out what his true feelings for her were. Or maybe he knew and just didn’t want to admit them—especially after just learning that his darling wife of twelve years had deceived him for five. The only thing he knew right now was that he needed Michelle. He was burning up with a hunger only she could satiate.
“So what are we going to do?” Michelle asked him. “Rent a hotel room for a few hours? It’s not like we can spend the night together without creating suspicion. Our relationship, our marriage, is still a secret to the rest of the world.”
“I was thinking we could spend the weekend in Cape Cod.”
Her eyes lit up. “Really?”
“Hmm. Plus, Sunday is your birthday and I want to do something special with you away from here.” In a place that had no memories of Cassie.
“You remembered my birthday?”
He grinned at her enthusiasm. “Well, Precious reminded me this morning. I called the caretaker and the cottage is being prepared as we speak.”
“Okay. I’d like that. I’ve never been to the Cape.”
“Then it’s settled. We’ll leave ASAP.” He started walking toward the house. “I thought about leaving Precious with Felicia just so I could have you to myself, but she and Dad have plans.” A relaxed smile curved his lips as he spoke of his parents.
“Those two aren’t wasting any time.” Michelle giggled beside him.
“They’ve been in love for forty years. They’ve sacrificed their love to keep others from being hurt. They deserve some happiness together.”
Michelle rested her hand on his arm. “As do you,” she said, staring up at him as they stood at the front door.
“You make me happy.” He cupped her chin, leaned down, and brushed his lips lightly over hers. Electricity sizzled between them. “Go pack. The sooner we get out of here, the sooner we can start enjoying each other.” He slapped her playfully on her buttocks, opened the door, and pushed her inside.
“I love you,” she said, the warmth of her smile echoing in her voice as she looked back at him.
Erik walked toward his study. He had to let the hospital know where he would be in case of an emergency. He prayed to God there’d be none. He needed some time, one uninterrupted weekend with his family. As he opened the door of the study, Erik gasped as if he’d been slammed in the gut with a sledgehammer.
He’d just referred to himself, Michelle, and Precious as a family.
Involuntarily, his gaze wandered over the fireplace to meet his late wife’s brown eyes. She wanted him to be happy, according to his mother. She wanted him to find someone new to love and care for him and their child.
Michelle’s love for Precious and him was pure and strong. She had brought so much joy into his sad, pathetic life, so much inner peace to his soul. She had filled his world with so much light he couldn’t remember it ever being dark. She made his heart sing with delight, his flesh dance with enthusiasm. And she trusted him.
Erik strolled to the fireplace and unhinged the painting of his former wife from its hook. He stared at her long and hard, awed that the bevy of emotions he usually felt when he gazed at her were gone.
He opened the closet door and placed the painting inside.
***
“Alone at last.” Erik eased down next to Michelle on the sofa.
She laid her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around his that circled her upper body. It felt so good, so natural cuddled up to him.
The night had turned a bit chilly, so Erik had lit a fire—the only light in the room—that now crackled softly in the fireplace behind them. They sat quietly for a while, just enjoying each other’s presence, as they gazed out the sliders at the ocean, and listened to the mellow sounds of waves lapping at the stretch of white beach.
“Are you sure Precious is asleep?” Michelle asked as Erik began massaging her arms in very slow motion, spurting excitement inside her. Even though they were away from Amherst, they had to be careful for Precious.
“The poor darling is worn out. Was snoring before I finished reading two pages of her book.”
Michelle giggled. “Well, you did make her play volleyball with those kids on the beach this afternoon—for two long hours, Erik, just to make sure she wouldn’t protest when you sent her to bed. I felt sorry for the poor kid.”
He chuckled. “She enjoyed it. She told me she had fun. It was the last thing she said before she fell asleep.”
“Sure, try to justify your actions, Dr. LaCrosse.” Michelle’s mouth twisted with humorous displeasure as she turned her head and gazed up at him.
“Well, if I didn’t come up with a master plan, Mrs. LaCrosse—” His hands moved in from her arms to her chest and he gently caressed her breasts through her blouse. “We wouldn’t be able to do this until after midnight.”
“Hmm, I see what you mean,” Michelle murmured as her skin started to tingle under his touch. She dropped her hands to his thighs and massaged the hard muscles there. He felt like polished marble under her soft palm. “I definitely wouldn’t want to wait until midnight for this.”
“I knew you’d see it my way, darling.” He chuckled, picked her up and placed her across his lap, facing him. He dragged his hands up her legs along her thighs that flanked his sides and brought them to rest on her buttocks. “Feel that?” he asked in a husky voice as he moved her gently up and down, back and forth on his erection. “Feel what you do to me, Mrs. LaCrosse?”
Michelle licked her lips as fire swept through her veins. “Yes, I feel that, and I like what I do to you.”
As he claimed her lips with his, Michelle clasped her arms around his neck and surrendered to the hunger. It had been two weeks, and they were both starving.
“I want you so much,” Erik whispered against her mouth as his fingers tugged eagerly at the tail of her shirt, lifting it up along her belly and over her chest. He growled as her breasts sprang into his hands. Bless her dear heart for not wearing a bra. Her nipples were round and smooth and he massaged his palms over them in slow circular motions until they hardened in response to his touch. He dragged his mouth from hers and trailed his lips over her chin and down to the sweet crook of her neck. Her intoxicating smell and the sweet little whimpers coming from her throat made his groin throb with so much pain he though he would explode in his pants.
Eager to love her, Erik pressed Michelle back against the soft cushions and covered her body with his. He gazed at her face and the trust and love swimming in her eyes tugged on his heartstrings. “Michelle, I wish—”
“Shh. Don’t wish. Just talk to me with your body. Show me what you can’t tell me.” She opened her legs and her arms to receive him.
With an ache in his belly, Erik settled between her thighs and hurriedly unbuttoned her blouse, swearing mildly at the precious time it wasted before he could feast on her beautiful breasts. “Oh, I’ve missed these,” he moaned, gazing at them, totally mesmerized.
“You’re a breast man, aren’t you?” Michelle asked him.
He chuckled, softly. “You’re just figuring that out, darling?” He held one between his thumb and forefinger and sucked it into his mouth, using the muscles of his jaws, his teeth and his tongue to spawn illicit pleasure inside her.
She arched her back, dug her nails into his arms and thrashed restlessly under him. God she was so damned sensuous. It made him wild. Wilder. He pulled his mouth from that delectable mount of swollen flesh and lavished his attention on the other until Michelle whispered his name. When he felt his hunger had been appeased, he pulled his mouth from her breast and trailed his lips slowly and tantalizingly over her chest and down the soft contours of her flat belly. One hand crawled up her legs and thighs as he kissed his way lower and lower. He loved the smell radiating from her hot heat.
“If I don’t get inside you now, I’m going to explode,” he whispered against her skin as his fingers curved around the waistband of her shorts, intending to rip the damn cloth from her body.
Michelle fought her way through the haze of passion when she felt Erik tugging at her shorts. She grabbed his hand. “Erik, no. Not here,” she said, her maternal instincts kicking into gear.
“Why not?”
Her lower body curled into his mouth as the tip of his tongue made shocking contact with the hollow of her belly button.
“Precious,” she whispered in a tormented plea, even as she made seductive little motions with her hips.
“She’s asleep.” His voice was tight and hoarse with need. His loins hurt. He needed to be inside her. Right here. Right now. “Come on, let’s be spontaneous.”
As much as she longed to throw caution to the wind, common sense warned Michelle it would be a terrible mistake for them to make love on the sofa in the open living room with a precocious seven-year-old sleeping upstairs. What if she walked in on them?
The stakes were too high. The price of losing Precious’ trust and respect was too great. Michelle couldn’t afford to risk that, not even for Erik. He was a man after all, and when it came to sex, everybody knew they thought with their…
She pushed at his head with both hands. “Erik, we can’t make love here. Stop. Stop.”
He growled with impatience, the golden embers in his grey eyes glowing with deep dark desire. He scooped her up off the sofa and took the short flight of stairs to the master bedroom. He closed and locked the door then took purposeful strides across the floor. He set her gently down on her back on the bed and switched on the table lamp. He bent over her and swiftly removed her shirt, shorts, and thong, and tossed them across the room.
A distinct light shimmered in his eyes as he admired the gentle curves of her body. She was smooth and perfect, his to enjoy to his fullest. His gaze moved to her dusky eyes, and the tender love he encountered caused a huge lump to lodge in his throat. No woman had ever moved him like this before, and suddenly, he wanted to take his time with her, worship every inch of her sweet body. Without taking his eyes from hers, he reached up and removed his shirt, dropping it on the floor before his fingers went to the waist of his slacks where he slowly released the button.
Michelle’s emotions whirled and skidded into high gear at the metallic grate of his fly being unzipped. He bent forward to remove his pants and briefs, and when he stood upright again, honoring her with a full view of his erection straining to the ceiling, heavy and thick against his tight belly, she swallowed the ache of love in her heart.
He was hers. Truly hers. She’d come clean about her father and he’d forgiven her, freeing her to love him uninhibitedly. There were no shadows over her heart tonight.
“Now, where were we?” His eyes impaled her as his magnificent body came closer to the bed.
“Right here.” Michelle placed her hand on her quivering stomach.
