Presley Estates, Wesbury
I’m nestled in our bed, surrounded by pillows, watching Duke get ready for work. He’s slipping on a crisp white shirt, a picture of efficiency, glancing at his reflection in the mirror.
‘Duke, Jordan really wanted you there,’ I say, trying to nudge him toward more involvement with my family. ‘He was pretty let down you didn’t show up.’
He brushes it off with a casual ‘Another time.’
I let out a sigh. ‘But you always miss my family events. My dad’s turning seventy in June. You have to be there.’
He flashes a smile, ‘I promise.’
But I’m skeptical. ‘I don’t really believe you, Duke.’
His retort is quick. ‘Then why make me promise?’
I drop it with a resigned ‘Alright.’
Shifting topics, I bring up something that’s been on my mind. ‘I’m thinking of buying a condo in Rutland.’
He questions my logic. ‘Why? You didn’t even stay at the hotel we paid for.’
I’m undeterred. ‘Exactly. Next time, I don’t want to stay with them. I want my own place.’
He shrugs. ‘If that’s what you want.’
My excitement bubbles up. ‘I’m considering opening a Hearts and Mugs Branch there.’
‘Not a bad idea.’
‘After Rich Oaks, I’ll start planning,’ I declare, feeling a surge of determination.
A silence falls between us, and I find myself lost in thought. Duke glances over, concern etching his features. ‘Everything okay?’
‘Just thinking,’ I murmur.
He probes deeper, ‘About what?’
It’s a mix of sadness and hope in my voice. ‘About us. Being with Jordan and Sasha’s kids, taking care of the baby… I can’t wait anymore. I want to be a parent, Duke. It’s something I want more than anything.’
His look is filled with concern, a soft ‘Aisling…’ escaping him, and I know we’re on the cusp of a conversation that could change everything.
‘This cycle, it just has to work, Duke,’ I whisper. ‘I’ve taken the break, stayed off the meds, eaten nothing but greens. I need this, a gift from above, something to hold and cherish.’
He gives a soft chuckle, his optimism a stark contrast to my fervor. ‘It will happen.’
I nod, clinging to his assurance. ‘Thanks.’
‘But if it’s not in the cards, there’s nothing we can do.’ He adds, a note of realism in his voice.
I can’t accept that. ‘But surely, after all this waiting, our deepest desire to love and nurture a child has to count for something.’
His reassurance is gentle, yet firm. ‘We’ll be okay, Aisling. I promise.’
I sit up, a surge of hope filling me. ‘We need those little voices in our life, Duke. We just do.’
He smiles at me, and it warms my heart. ‘We’ll get there.’
But suddenly, a doubt creeps in. ‘Why does it feel like you don’t care as much anymore?’
His surprise is genuine. ‘Why would you think that?’
‘Your responses lately, they seem so detached.’ I let out my frustration.
He’s quick to dispel my doubts. ‘That’s not true, Aisling.’
I laugh. ‘I can’t wait for us to have our own chaos, sleepless nights, and endless love.’
Duke laughs too, his eyes twinkling at the thought. ‘I’m ready for it all.’
‘I’m so ready for this next cycle.’
‘I’m ready.’
‘You better be,’ I tease him, feeling playful.
As he brushes his hair, I can’t help but admire him. ‘You look too hot for the morning, Duke. You’re going to cause a meltdown.’
He turns to me, his smile lighting up the room. ‘Just make sure everyone knows you’re taken.’
He joins me on the bed, his kiss brief but filled with promise. ‘You taste sweet,’ I murmur.
He grins. ‘It’s the tea.’
‘I want more of that,’ I say boldly, ready to embrace whatever comes our way.
He bends over again and kisses me deeply for about half a minute, but I want more. ‘I want more,’ I say, feeling greedy.
He pulls away from me, his laughter a bittersweet sound. ‘Aisling, I’ve got to go.’
I can’t help but wish for more time. ‘Can’t you stay for breakfast?’
He glances at his watch. ‘I’ve got a meeting at nine-thirty.’
‘Just a few more minutes…’
He teases me. ‘You kept me up all night with your stories, and now you want me to stay.’
I feel a twinge of guilt. ‘I’m sorry. The jet lag hit me hard. And you changed my flight, remember? You weren’t here when I arrived, we didn’t go out as planned, and we didn’t even… you know,’ I say.
He turns, heading for the door, each step widening the space between us.
‘Duke, please don’t go,’ I call after him.
He pauses. ‘I’ll be back for lunch.’
I let out a sigh. ‘I won’t be here. I have plans with Elsa.’
He suggests, ‘Then let’s do dinner.’
I know it’s not enough. ‘That’s fine, but Duke, I need some of your time this morning. Just an hour.’
There’s a longing in my voice, a craving for connection, for a moment more in his presence before the day sweeps us away in different directions.
He reaches the door but then stops, bringing his hand to the locks and turning it on the left, keeping the door fastened. He takes his blazer off and tosses it into one of the comfortable chairs nearby. He turns, starting towards the bed, to devour every bit of me.
We spend the rest of the morning making passionate love.
The loud ring of my phone tears me from the depths of sleep, an unwelcome intrusion in the early morning quiet. Groggily, I reach out to my nightstand, my fingers fumbling for the phone as I try to shake the fog of sleep from my mind. Elsa’s name flashes on the screen.
‘Oh, my God.
I totally forgot.
Hey, Elsa…’ I mumble.
‘Aisling, where have you been?’ she asks.
‘I’m at home,’ I reply, still trying to gather my bearings.
Her words come in a rush. ‘I’ve been trying to reach you. I’m about to leave for Wesbury. Are we still on for lunch?’
A wave of guilt washes over me. ‘Umm… I’m sorry, Elsa…’
She’s quick to offer reassurance. ‘It’s okay. We can reschedule. You sound like you need more rest.’
‘Still struggling with jet lag.” The admission slips out. “It’s completely wiped me out.’
‘No worries. We’ll plan for another time.’
I can’t help but feel terrible. ‘I’m really sorry, Elsa.’
But she’s all grace. ‘It’s fine. Go back to sleep, Aisling.’
With her kind words, I feel a bit more at ease as the call ends. I sink back into the pillows, grateful for Elsa’s understanding, but still feeling a pang of regret for missing out on our plans.
I roll out of bed, my eyes catching sight of a handwritten note by the nightstand. Picking it up, I read Duke’s message:
‘I will see you at The Matrix at 7:30.’
The Matrix?
My phone’s ring interrupts my pondering, and I quickly answer, seeing it’s my mum. ‘Hi, Mum?’
‘Hey, honey. Where are you?’ she asks, her voice sounding urgent.
‘I’m at home,’ I reply, still holding Duke’s note.
‘Join us for dinner tonight.’
‘At your place?’ I clarify, slightly confused.
‘Yes,’ she confirms.
I hesitate, my plans with Duke flashing in my mind. ‘Can we do it tomorrow? Duke and I have plans tonight.’
Her response is abrupt, and unexpected. ‘Cancel.’
I’m taken aback. ‘Cancel? Mum, I just told you about my plans with Duke.’
But she’s insistent. ‘I am serious.’
Confusion swirls within me. ‘Mum, what’s going on?’
‘Your Aunt Geneva and Kari will be there too.’ She explains.
I try to protest, but she cuts me off. ‘We haven’t had a family dinner in ages, Aisling.’
I’m torn, feeling a sense of duty clash with my plans. ‘Mum, not tonight. I can’t. What about dinner with Duke?’
She’s unyielding. ‘No, Aisling.’
I’m frustrated now. ‘You’re only telling me this now? This should have been planned.’
She apologizes, but it feels hollow. ‘I forgot, honey.’
I’m upset, feeling disregarded. ‘This isn’t fair, Mum. I can’t be there.’
‘I’ll call Duke. You can’t miss this dinner.’
I can hardly believe it. ‘Is this a joke, Mum?’
But there’s no humor in her voice, only determination.
‘I’m not joking, Aisling,’ she says with a seriousness that tells me she’s completely earnest.
‘This is crazy,’ I blurt out, unable to believe what I’m hearing.
‘Call Duke,’ she presses, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.
‘No way,’ I shoot back, the idea sounding more absurd by the second.
‘And tell him you won’t be home tonight. We’re having a slumber party,’ she adds, a playful lilt in her voice.
I can’t help but laugh, despite my frustration. ‘Mum, what are you planning? This is just…’
She cuts me off. ‘It’s been so long since you stayed over, Ais.’
‘Mum, I’m married now. I can’t just have sleepovers like I used to,’ I remind her, feeling a mix of annoyance and affection.
‘So? You’re still my daughter,’ she retorts, her stubbornness coming through.
‘Mum, this isn’t fair,’ I say, trying to make her see reason.
‘Just think of the fun we’ll have,’ she persists.
I’m adamant. ‘No, Mum. I’m not staying over.’
‘Then I’ll call Duke myself,’ she threatens.
‘Fine, I’ll tell him about the dinner, but not the sleepover. I can’t stay the whole night,’ I relent, feeling cornered.
‘Good,’ she says.
I take a deep breath, trying to hold back my emotions. ‘Mum, I’ve been looking forward to spending tonight with Duke. We missed our chance last night because of his meeting. I really miss him.’
She interrupts me, ‘Tell him you can’t make it.’
I’m near tears now. ‘How can your dinner be so important that I have to cancel my plans with Duke?’
‘It just is,’ she replies, her voice leaving no room for argument.
‘Okay, I’ll talk to him. But if he says no, I can’t help it,’ I tell her.
I hesitantly pick up the phone, dialing Duke’s number with a sense of unease. He answers almost immediately.
‘Aisling? Is everything okay?’
‘Hey, are you busy?’ I ask, the guilt of my impending request weighing heavily on me.
He responds with immediate attention, ‘Not really. What’s going on? Are you okay?’
I swallow hard. ‘Mum wants me to come over for dinner tonight.’
His reply is understanding, and always ready to accommodate. ‘Okay, no problem. We can have our dinner tomorrow.’
‘No, Duke, it’s not that. Mum said she’d call you to make sure I’m free tonight. I didn’t want you to be blindsided.’
‘It’s alright, Aisling. You should go.’
I need to hear it from him, to know it’s truly okay. ‘Are you sure you want me to go?’
His response is firm yet caring. ‘Yes, go. Spend some time with your family.’
‘I’m sorry, honey. I really didn’t see this coming.’
‘It’s fine,’ he says.
‘I was really looking forward to The Matrix tonight.’
‘We’ll do it tomorrow. Go and have a good time. I’ll be fine.’
I press for reassurance, needing to know he’s truly okay with this. ‘Are you sure?’
‘I’m fine, Aisling.’
Grateful yet saddened, I reply, ‘Okay. I love you.’
‘I love you too.’
I hang up, feeling a mix of relief and regret. Duke’s understanding is a comfort, yet I can’t shake the disappointment of missing our planned evening. My heart is torn as I prepare for a night with my family, knowing Duke and I will have to wait just a little longer for our time together.
I end the call with Duke, my heart heavy, and dial my mother’s number. ‘Alright, I’m coming,’ I say, a resigned sigh escaping me. ‘You win this time.’
Her joy is evident through the phone. ‘Yes!’ she exclaims, her happiness almost tangible.
‘Are you happy now?’ I ask, a hint of frustration lacing my voice.
‘Absolutely, darling. I’m thrilled,’ she responds, her joy overshadowing my own conflicted feelings.
I need to set boundaries. ‘Mum, this can’t happen again. I mean it.”
Her voice softens, ‘I promise, Aisling. This isn’t something I’ve done before, is it?’
I’m skeptical. ‘Never? So, why is this dinner so crucial?’
She’s earnest in her explanation. ‘It’s very important to me, dear. Are you going to stay the night?’
‘No, Mum. I’m not staying. Duke doesn’t even know about that part.’
She understands, ‘That’s fine, honey.’
As I hang up, I let out a long breath, bracing myself for an evening that’s taken an unexpected turn. The prospect of a family dinner looms ahead, a mixture of duty and the warmth of home, but tinged with the disappointment of missing my planned evening with Duke.
