“Idon’t like that tone, kid,” Kevin said as he sank into the free chair. “I also don’t trust that grin on your face…”
For his part, Bradley tried to become one with the cushions of his chair. His eyes were too large, his skin too pale and oily. I toned my grin down and relaxed back against Casersis. “It’s simple, Brad. You keep working for Erastus and tell him what we tell you to tell him when he asks you questions. You’re a convincing liar. You’ve lied to Casersis for how long?”
Bradley sipped his tea and winced. “I could do that…”
“Of course, you can.” I brought back that grin. “In return, you tell us everything.” I leaned forward. “And I do mean everything, Bradley. Who works for him, who his allies are, who all has those tattoos, his motives, his dreams, his terrors—everything.”
The man shivered at my tone but nodded and sat up straighter. “I’ll Comm-mail you a dossier as soon as—”
“Kevin, will you get my ThoughtHub from my room?” I asked, cutting Bradley off. Then I refocused on Bradley. “You’ll create that dossier here and leave it here.” When Bradley gave me a curious, terrified look, I explained, “One, it will keep you from being traced.” Bradley swallowed hard and sank down in his chair. I nodded and went on, “Two, you have less of a chance at screwing us over.”
“How will I explain that kind of absence?” Bradley asked. He tugged at the collar of his shirt, even though it was unbuttoned to his collarbone. “I’m supposed to meet him for lunch.”
I shrugged. “Call Erastus and cancel. Tell him that you caught Cass with his pants down about me and that you’ll explain when you see him.”
“I’d better have some damned good dirt, Dustin…”
“You already have a ton of dirt,” I said, suddenly uneasy.
“I got that dirt from Erastus.” Looking anywhere but at me, Bradley shifted in his chair and chugged his entire cup of tea. “He wants more. He gave that to me to use as leverage to get more out of you.”
“We’ll figure something out. As for Erastus, tell him Casersis called a meeting, and you can’t miss it. Tell him that Cass has you working on a project, and you can’t see him for a few days. That will give you time to create the dossier and give us time to come up with a plan. The plan may take a few weeks, so lie low once Kevin lets you go. Clear?”
Bradley groused, “Clear.”
“Good,” I said in a cheerful tone. “Now, I want to get the hell out of here and away from you. No offense, but your terror is exhausting, and I’ve already had enough exhaustion for one day. I need fresh air, and you need space to work. Sound good?”
The man nodded his head like one of those ancient Bobbleheads dolls. Apparently, he wanted away from me, but I didn’t care. With Bradley taken care of, I wanted to go see my ears, calm Casersis down, and go outside. I’d been cooped up inside all day, and I wanted my daily dose of sunshine before the storm moved in.
Soon Kevin came back in and plopped down next to Bradley, handing the man the ThoughtHub.
“God, this thing is ancient,” Bradley whined. “How am I supposed to work with this? It actually has a headband.”
“You’ll figure it out,” Kevin laughed. “Deal with it.”
I took the opportunity as soon as they settled. Grabbing Casersis’s hand, I led him into my room through the panel in the wall and closed it after us. Only when it was secured did I let out the uncomfortable groan I’d been holding in the last hour. “You okay, Cass?”
He glanced over, and Casersis studied me out of an unreadable expression. “How…? How did I miss so much with him?”
“You trusted him,” I said with a noncommittal shrug. “That’s all I got.” I wrapped Casersis in a tight hug and frowned at how tense he was. “Cass, relax.”
“How do I trust anyone else?” Casersis asked, burying his face in my hair. “Who can I trust?”
“Well… first, check all your people over for fiery tattoos.” I laughed, but it was nowhere near funny. “That’ll be the first sign. Second, I could screen them individually. I haven’t yet met a person who can lie to me. My parents hated it. You should have seen them trying to get me to believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny. It was mildly hilarious.”
Casersis chuckled and hugged me tighter. “I have been so blind…”
“So,” I drawled, “that means I have to be a construction worker and a seeing-eye dog.” I poked fingers into Casersis’s ribs and tickled him lightly until the elf laughed. “We’ll get through this, Cass. Erastus can’t win. Not when everyone who meets you almost instantly adores you.”
“Adores or hates,” Casersis murmured. “There is rarely ever an in-between.”
“Quit that,” I demanded. I pulled Casersis over to the floor-length mirror in my walk-in closet and tugged at his hand with a bright grin, hoping to change the topic to something light. “Take this off.” I motioned to my face. “I want to see my ears!”
Some of the light sparked back into Casersis’s eyes, and the elf let out a soft huff of laughter. “I have never been on one, but somehow I suddenly know what a roller coaster feels like. You change on a whim.”
“I change when you need me to change.” I pressed a hand to the center of Casersis’s chest. “I promised I wouldn’t let you break. I meant it.”
“What would I do without you?” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “My beauty.”
“What did you do before you found me?”
“I was able to control my emotions, for one, imp.” He laughed. “I was never so ruled by them.”
“It was the clothes.” Heaving a dramatic sigh, I pulled back to look down at myself. “I broke you by letting you dress me. My beauty was just too much for you to handle.” I looked up at Casersis through my lashes and bit my inner cheek to keep the grin from my face. “I should go put on my Kaudien t-shirt, jeans, and work boots. Maybe then your head will clear.”
Casersis looked at me, completely serious as he said, “I had them burned.”
Cackling, I sagged against Casersis’s chest and shook him. “You bastard! I loved that shirt! My favorite jeans! You had my entire wardrobe burned, didn’t you?”
I knew he hadn’t because I’d seen them in my dresser drawers, but the tease was fun. Just what we needed to break the tension.
“I might have… but no.” With a regal sniff, Casersis spun me around to face the mirror. Letting the spell go seemed like he only relaxed a muscle as some tension lines around Casersis’s mouth and eyes eased. The air around us shimmered as our glamors faded. “To see you, beauty, in all your glory, would be worth being beaten senseless for destroying those rags you called a wardrobe.”
I stared at myself for the first time that day. I hadn’t bothered looking in the mirror before or after my shower. Now, though, I stared. My eyes looked like quicksilver that had a prismatic quality, giving them an almost faceted look. My sun-bronzed skin glowed with health and highlighted my higher cheekbones. The pores that used to be visible on my nose and around my jaw now seemed smoothed out. What little peach-fuzz I used to have around my jaw in place of the beard I could never grow looked softer and lighter. My strawberry-blond hair gleamed lighter, almost platinum.
With a cheeky grin, Casersis tucked my hair away from my face, showing off delicately tapered ears that rose toward the crown of my head. That grin turned into something wicked as he trailed a finger down the shell of each ear from tip to lobe. A strangled moan escaped me as sparks trailed from those ears straight to my chest, then detoured to my groin. When Casersis went to tease them further, I batted his hands away frantically.
“Oh no! None of that!” I cried. “Bad kitten!”
The evilest chuckle I had ever heard rumbled from Casersis. “I believe there is a fitting human term to use here… Oh, yes! ‘Paybacks are a bitch,’ beauty.”
All the teasing was worth it to see that playful twinkle in Casersis’s eyes. Laughing, I turned in his arms and rewarded him with a kiss that was just as playful. When I pulled back, I had both fists wound in the elf’s hair and grinned up at him. “Is my kitten feeling less mussed?”
“Mm…” He purred and smirked. “I think kitten needs another kiss, just to be certain.”
“Oh, is that all?” I let out a sultry chuckle. “And here I thought you would be more high maintenance. My job just got so much easier.”
“Imp!”
Pressing another kiss to Casersis’s lips, I shivered. The intensity of Bradley’s visit melted away from Casersis with every breath, and with each muscle that eased in the elf’s body, I felt once again like I had successfully protected what was mine. I closed my eyes, and allowed that feeling to flow over me, fill me until it was all I could feel. At that moment, Casersis pressed his lips to my ear and murmured, “You are glowing like a beacon in the darkest night. Let us go outside for a while.”
I shivered again and licked his lower lip. “Yes. Let’s.”
The moment we got out of the parlor, Casersis grabbed my hand and practically sprinted down the halls toward the back door, dragging me along like a kite in the wind. I didn’t mind. Fuck, today had been crazy, and I wanted to get outside just as bad. When we got there, one of the servants had our coats, like magic, and I had almost forgotten it was nearing winter. It had been so long since I had been outside for any real length of time that I forgot about the weather completely.
As we pulled on our coats, I grinned at Casersis, who practically vibrated with excitement and joy. “You aren’t allowed outside often, are you?”
Casersis turned a broad grin on me that I felt all the way down to my toes. “Not when I have the pleasure of sharing the forest with a fledgling elf! Come!”
Okay, apparently, that servant already knew about his true identity. Interesting. But I didn’t have long to think about that. I smoothed down my buttery leather jacket, pleased because the inside cradled me in the warmth of breathable cotton with a down filling, while the outside hugged me from my neck to just below my hips in sleek black leather. I grinned and rubbed my hands over the soft hide, relishing how warm it kept me as we stepped out, and our breath frosted the air.
So much for gardening. It was too cold, the ground already too hard.
Casersis stared at me with a breathtaking grin on his face and a light in his eyes that was so bright it was almost blinding. Being outside, even just at the near end of the expansive, sculpted gardens, made Casersis come alive, and I loved it. His cheeks tinted a soft rose, and those eyes burned cobalt in the afternoon sun. “Stunning,” he breathed. “Is it warm enough?”
“Much more running, and I’ll sweat to death,” I teased. “My kitten must have found a stash of catnip. He got hyper really fast.”
Amusement flickered in Casersis’s eyes, but he sniffed and tried to act regal. “I found no such thing. Kitten just needs to play.”
“Do I need to run back into the house for a ball of string, or would that just make the kitten flounce?” I laughed at his wounded expression. He really was adorable when he was playful.
“Kittens do not flounce.” Casersis pouted. “They grow irritable and… sulk.”
Grabbing Casersis’s hand, I leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Can’t have my kitten sulking, either.” Another kiss to Casersis’s lips and I tugged on his hand. “So, you lead. Even though the garden’s mostly dead, I still have no idea where we’re going.”
That grin beamed straight into my soul as Casersis squeezed my hand. He looped our arms together, keeping his hand over mine as he led the way through the garden paths toward the forest beyond. We remained in silence for a while, just enjoying the sunshine, fresh air, and the sound of the bushes’ leaves rustling in the autumn breeze.
When we passed what I thought to be the center of the garden, Casersis looked over at me, and his smile relaxed. His face showed such peace that my heart soared. He said, “I can see eternity again, beauty.”
My breath stuttered, and I squeezed Casersis’s arm. “Oh? And what do you see in it?”
We stopped, and Casersis cupped my cheek with his free hand as he pressed a warm kiss to my lips. “What has not as much importance as who, Dustin. I could say that I see endless days of love and laughter, but we both know that loss and pain are always in the periphery, intermingled with the joy. I just know that I can face it all again because now I see you in it beside me, always.”
My breath hitched again, and I reached up to press his hand to my cheek as I nuzzled into his palm. “There you go making me feel cherished again.”
Another kiss and Casersis chuckled. “I shall strive to make it so you never feel any other way, beauty. I swear it.” He slowly withdrew his hand and turned to lead us down the west path where the forest loomed closer. “I shall also strive to get you into Kireldan University for the spring semester.”
The spit I tried to swallow suddenly went into my airway, and I choked. I dug in my heels to stare at Casersis, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, as I hacked into my elbow to clear my lungs. “Kir—Kireldan?”
Casersis, as if he suspected a fight, rubbed my back, and spoke softly. “Yes, Kireldan. Though, if they do not have the curriculum you wish to pursue, we can always find alternatives. Kireldan, however, is a rather prestigious school.”
“Prestigious Ivy League school! Cass, I can’t get into Kireldan!” I shuddered and cleared my throat. Panic started to claw its way up, but I shoved it down. At least he was doing what he had promised. He was talking to me about it. “How would I even try? I didn’t even take any high school courses good enough to get into anything close to Kireldan.”
That sculpted brow slowly raised at me, and I knew I was about to be lectured. Sighing, I raked my fingers through my hair and just stared at the elf. “Cass…”
“You have your high school diploma, yes?” I nodded miserably. “And you graduated with honors, yes?” Another miserable nod from me. “And you learn quickly, yes?” I groaned and nodded again. “Then what makes you so afraid of rejection?”
I counted it off on my fingers. “One, I’d have to go to community college just to get the knowledge I’d need for beginner courses at Kireldan. Two, I’ve been out of school so long I’d need a refresher to even come close to passing the entrance exams for those community college courses. Three, that’s a lot of goddamned money, Cass.”
The mussed kitten look settled onto Casersis’s features, and he sighed. “When will you understand that money is of no matter to you now?” We stopped at the edge of the garden, and Casersis turned to look at me straight on. “Forget the money, Dustin. Pretend it does not exist, for it truly does not for us. Money is only microchips and data that we trade to make other people happy, so they will keep making and stocking the things we so desire. It is irrelevant to our lives.”
“To your life, maybe,” I muttered. “But to mine?”
Casersis sighed and stared off at the trees. “Yes, to yours. If you let me. Dustin… please let me.”
“We’ll talk about this later, okay?” When he nodded, I leaned against him gratefully. “Then let’s go walking. I can tell you’re still itching to get into the forest.”
With the tenderest smile I’d ever seen, Casersis kissed the tip of my nose and both closed eyes before slowly drawing away. He replaced my hand on his arm again and led me toward the tree line.
The serenity that came over me the moment the trees enshrouded us nearly had me weeping. This time Casersis drew his arm away only to wrap it about my waist. He pulled me close until we were molded to each other’s sides as we walked under the canopy of pine needles and leafless branches.
“Your mind finally quieted,” Casersis mused. “It no longer bristles with electricity. Your elfin side is starting to tune you toward Mother’s grace.”
“I don’t know what it is,” I admitted. “I just feel like everything has been lifted off my shoulders and thrown away. I used to love going hiking through nature trails, but I never felt like this before.”
“Ah, where did you hike?” Casersis asked.
“The hiking trails at Bayfield Park.”
“Oh, beauty,” Casersis laughed, “no wonder! The forest there was cultivated by humans. That forest is much like a child—still growing, confined, and confused because most of the poor trees are not in their natural habitats.”
He gestured out toward the trees with his unoccupied hand and drew me toward one of the massive pines. There, he pressed my hand to the bark. “This forest is original growth,” he murmured against my ear. “Well, original since before my exile, at any rate. I have allowed no logging here, no ‘progress’ of any sort except what I did for Shadetree, what Mother and the tree nymphs allowed.”
Casersis turned another serene smile toward me and slipped his hand from the back of mine onto the bark next to it. “Tell me what you feel, beauty.”
All my thoughts evaporated. The moment my hand touched that tree, everything went away. Casersis’s voice and the breeze sifting through bare branches barely registered. Before I knew it, my forehead pressed against the rough bark, and full-body shudders ripped down my spine. “I don’t—I don’t know.”
The hand about my waist trailed up to my spine and rubbed from the nape of my neck to my waist and back up in a slow, endless cycle. “Take your time. This is not a test. Let the feeling flow through you.”
When my body molded to the tree, I didn’t know or care. All I knew was that the hand rubbing warmth into my back, coupled with this feeling from the tree, had me melting. All the stress, all the angst, every ounce of negativity I carried around bled away from my heart, mind, and soul until it eventually even left my muscles.
With a gasp, Casersis caught me on my way down and clutched me to his side. “Beauty?”
The worried tone snapped me out of my mindlessness, and I looked up through hazy eyes. “Hey…”
Casersis’s lips met my scraped forehead, and the elf laughed softly. “And where did you run off to?”
I couldn’t rub the haze away. Still boneless, I rested my head on Casersis’s shoulder and heaved a contented sigh. “Nowhere. I just—I don’t know. Whatever it is, it’s making me blank out. It’s putting me to sleep.”
“Ah, but the best lullaby in the three worlds is that of Mother,” Casersis said as he shifted me in his arms. “She need not even speak because her presence is more soothing than a parent’s touch.”
I nestled against Casersis and closed my eyes. The cadence of his breath and heart lingered in my ears, but I forced myself to push the need to sleep away. “Is there any way to shut it off so I can stay awake?”
That gentle laugh returned, and Casersis hugged me tightly. “Rest a moment, beauty. Let Mother lull you for a time, and everything will clear on its own.”
Taking that as permission, I relaxed and let the blankness take me. Everything shut down at once, and just as it felt like falling before, now it felt like flying as Casersis lifted me fully into his arms like a child. My head lolled onto Casersis’s shoulder, and I tucked in close. As I drifted, the sounds of the forest quieted until all I could hear was my own breathing.
After a few breaths, I heard it. The breeze that washed over me shifted from a continuous whisper into a rhythm of breaths that almost mirrored my own. Warmth flooded me as if the near winter’s chill gave way to late spring. It wrapped around me like a mother’s arms, rocked my soul as Casersis rocked my body. Unbelievable peace surrounded me, quieted me, and I had never felt so loved before. For once, I felt connected to something greater than myself, something greater than mankind. Mother… it was the planet, not just some whimsical folktale. The planet cradled my spirit and gave me this peace.
I didn’t know how long I’d drifted off for, but when I woke, Casersis still held me and rocked, though now he sat at the base of the tree with me hovered just above his lap. I rubbed my eyes and frowned as I sniffled. “What happened?”
Casersis pressed a kiss to my forehead and shifted me to sit on his cross-legged lap. “You slept for a time and shed a few sweet tears. How do you feel?”
“Like I’ve been out cold for eight hours,” I groaned. “The groggy. I hate the groggy.”
“Ah, but it will abate soon, I think.” As he spoke, Casersis combed his fingers through my hair. “This normally happens with babes when they are first brought to Mother after their birth. They can be squalling and red-faced in their displeasure, but the moment they touch a tree, it is like giving a human infant a Nyquil-Benadryl cocktail without the side effects.”
I blinked, then the laughter started. They began quiet, but soon I laughed so hard Casersis had trouble holding onto me. “Damnit, Cass! How did you say that with a straight face?”
“Years of experience beyond remembrance,” Casersis said dryly. He grinned, though, and patted my side. “How are you feeling now?”
I had to think about that for a moment, but after a tally of my body and mind, I shook my head in disbelief. “Rejuvenated. I’d put a description on it, but I’ve never felt this way before. The best I can put it to was when I was a kid. I would fall asleep in the crook of mom’s knee when she was curled on the couch and reading a book while playing with my hair.”
“And that feeling will always come in places such as these, beauty, though the sudden fatigue should not happen again.” He shifted me so that I sat up on my own. “Instead, it should come as waves of peace, calm, and all-encompassing love.”
Shivering, I touched the pine trunk again and looked up at it. Just as Casersis said, my mind blanked out, and peace flowed over me. It made my heart ache in that pleasant way it did when I received the best, tightest hugs. I grinned and basked in that feeling for a moment while Casersis beamed at me.
And for a moment, everything was perfect.
