“He hung up on me…”
After I called him several times only to receive his away message, I stared down at my palm as if I could see my CommLink through my skin, as if I could see Dustin on the other side of the city through my implant. My Dustin had hung up on me. And the fact that my heart ached for that reason confused me. It confused me even more that I thought of him as mine. Was he mine? Simply because he was the first elf I had in my sphere for millennia? There was another close, but he did not seek me out often, as if my exile meant he could not associate with me. But Dustin was mine. Mine to keep safe, mine to hold, mine to spoil. Mine.
And we had sex almost every night, sometimes more than once. That made him mine, didn’t it? Or did that make me his? Or was that the same thing?
I covered my face with my palm and sighed. How had Dustin become my whole world in a few short weeks? And why, now that he was my whole world, could I not keep him happy? It boggled my mind. I could not comprehend it. I had given him everything he could ever want, everything my staff and I could think of, and he still was not happy.
But this was Dustin. He didn’t much care for material things, and the garden I had promised he could cultivate would have to wait until spring. He would have to wait almost half a year for the snow to come and then to thaw. And in that time, I wanted to keep him locked away, safe and content.
Except I couldn’t give him contentedness because he had a restless spirit that I was only starting to be able to fathom.
But I wanted to. Gods, how I wanted to. To give him everything. To give him the material things he had been without for so many years. To give him the contentedness he needed. To give him so much love, his heart was full with it.
And wasn’t that a strange thought? I was in love. How had that happened? And would Dustin run away, rebel harder, if he knew of my feelings?
My door opened, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Mr. Ardal, the meeting is almost ready to start.”
I nodded to my assistant, Samuel, and pushed myself out of my chair. These meetings would be the death of me. I hated them, but they were necessary. Too many people depended on me. With so many companies, I was spread so thin on days like today when I had a meeting at every one of my businesses in this city. Thankfully, those around the world could deal with a CommLink conference. But those within the city needed my physical appearance.
With a heavy heart, I attended to duty. The meetings were long, but I kept them as short and succinct as possible, moving from one building to another as swift as I could. After the second, I started feeling strange. As if I did not fit in my own skin. As if I was doing something wrong. As if I needed to be elsewhere. That feeling crawled along my skin until I pulled Samuel aside and murmured to him, “Clear my schedule for the rest of the day. I don’t care how you do it.”
He gave me a surprised look. “Mr. Ardal?”
I sighed and squeezed his shoulder. “Something desperately needs my attention at home. Please clear my schedule.”
The poor man sighed and leveled me with an unimpressed look. I loved that about him. Very few possessed the inner strength to tell me when they thought I was wrong. “You’ll owe me one.”
I could not help the laugh that escaped me. “Have something planned already?”
He winked. “A week vacation in the Bahamas. I’m getting married, and that would be the perfect honeymoon.”
I knew he was teasing about the Bahamas, but he was truly getting married soon. Pretending to think it over, I walked beside him toward the elevator bank. “Done. Make the arrangements, and send me the bill.”
Samuel stopped and stared at me until I turned to look at him. He spluttered, “You’re serious? I was only joking!”
I shrugged. Money was no matter for me. “You asked.”
The man practically vibrated where he stood for a moment. My unflappable assistant had finally been flapped. And the next thing I knew, I had him wrapped around me. Normally so reserved, to find him hugging me, I nearly stopped breathing. But it felt good, so I hugged him back and patted the back of his head, and spoke into his soft brown hair. “Make the arrangements, Samuel. Spare no cost. It will be a paid vacation, and I’ll make sure you have a bit of money to treat your groom right.”
He looked up at me with shiny eyes, and with his voice thick with emotion, he whispered hoarsely, “You don’t have to do that.”
I shrugged again. “I know. But it is getting done. Think of it as a wedding present if you must. Now, let’s get out of here. I have things to do at home, and you have meetings to cancel and a vacation to plot so you can surprise your soon-to-be husband.”
He hugged me one last time and all but shoved me out of the building. At least I could make someone happy today.
With my heart feeling like lead, I let Samuel half-drag me out of the building, gathering Kevin and the rest of my security detail along the way, and soon I was on my way home. When we got there, I could tell Dustin was not in the building, but I ordered my security to do a full sweep of my estate.
All too soon, Kevin activated his mic and said, “He’s not here. But it looks like he took Don with him.”
I fidgeted as I removed my coat and hung it up. With Don, Dustin was relatively safe. I should let him have this time out, should let him have a bit of freedom.
“Should I call Don?’ Kevin asked.
The thought was so tempting that I almost said yes on reflex, but I schooled my response. “Give him time, but track his CommLink to see where he is.”
I moved through my house like a ghost. I could feel the loss of Dustin like a lost limb. Without his presence, the estate seemed empty and cold. Even my parlor felt off as if I had just redecorated, and everything seemed familiar but felt alien and wrong.
The more it felt that way, the more my skin itched, felt like it didn’t fit, as if it belonged to someone else. I looked around, and there was no sign of Dustin, and it made my heart hurt. He had yet to really leave an impression on our home. The only impression I knew of was the one he had left on my heart. It throbbed at his loss, that impression. It made me want to throw caution to the wind and seek him out, even though I knew it would upset him. Even though I knew he would resent me for it. If I knew my Dustin right, he would resent me for even checking up on him, but that was a care I could not have. His safety was too important to me to not keep an eye on his location.
My earpiece flared to life with Kevin’s gruff voice. “He’s downtown at the new construction site. Nichol’s Construction Company is heading the work crew for the new low-income apartment complex Erastus is building.”
“And his health?”
“It seems he’s okay,” Kevin said. “His CommLink is reporting normal vitals.”
I sagged with relief and settled on my couch in my favorite spot. I still felt discomfited. No matter what Dustin’s CommLink reported, I felt uneasy. Nothing eased my distress. The news just told me Dustin was healthy. It told me little else. It could not tell me what he was thinking or feeling as much as looking into his eyes could. And Gods, what I would not do to look into his eyes at that moment.
I frowned at myself. Even when Beth brought me in a tray of tea and her homemade cookies, I frowned at the wall.
I did not frown often.
Especially not when faced with Beth’s homemade sweets.
What had Dustin done to me?
I groaned and fixed myself a cup of tea, shoved a cookie into my mouth in irritation at my behavior. I was becoming someone I did not recognize. Someone who would cancel important meetings just to sit at home and pine for a young man who had me twisted in knots. Someone who shoved a cookie into his mouth whole instead of taking careful bites so as not to get crumbs on my sweater.
I took a sip of tea and grimaced. Apparently, I had also become someone who put too much sugar into his tea when he was distraught. That was unpleasant to say the least.
Setting the cup aside, I stood and started pacing my parlor. I had nothing to do. I could not even attend the meetings remotely because I had asked Samuel to clear my schedule, and the boredom while waiting was eating at me.
Speaking of Samuel, as I paced, I received a CommMail with the particulars of his upcoming vacation, including the dates and an invitation to his wedding, which brought a reluctant smile to my face. It felt foreign after all the frowning. I smiled a little more genuinely as I transferred the money for the flight and accommodations, plus a little extra for spoiling his husband rotten to his bank account.
Seconds later, I received an effusive thank-you message in return. It helped ease a little of the distress I felt, but moments later, that distress came rushing back until I uncharacteristically wanted to punch something.
I was not a violent person. What was happening to me?
I stopped my pacing in front of my favorite window. When I went to place my hand on the pane, I hesitated. Dustin’s words came back to me from when he had first come to this estate, about how I always placed my hands in the same places, how I sat in the same place. My couch had a “butt indent” from sitting in the same place over the years. My books had oil marks from holding them the same way. As I looked, my window had a handprint on the glass from always placing it in the same position and location.
And I would have never noticed if not for his attention to detail. Until he had come into my life, I had not noticed many things. They had not mattered. Now, it seemed that everything mattered. Even the smallest detail. They mattered because Dustin had noticed them.
And how strange was that?
I sighed at myself, fogging the glass. Was I so lovesick that merely remembering words Dustin had said, details he’d picked out about me, would make my heart and stomach flutter?
Apparently, yes.
With every breath, I grew more disgusted at myself, but I could not completely blame myself. Dustin was worth everything to me, even if it meant changing. Perhaps, especially if it meant changing. I was not delusional enough to think being with Dustin would not change me in fundamental ways, but I did not think it would make me see such small, insignificant things about myself and the world in which I lived.
Nothing had prepared me for this.
Just as I was about to go back for my too-sweet tea, Kevin said into my earpiece, “He’s on the move.”
My son’s voice was too tight, too hard for such a simple declaration. It made my heart speed up. “What is the problem, Kevin?”
“He’s with Erastus.”
Expletives I normally never used issued from my mouth without my bidding, and I leaned my forehead against the windowpane.
“Should I go after them?”
“What direction are they heading?” My voice came so thick and gravelly, and I did not recognize myself.
“It seems they’re headed back toward the house, but they’re still downtown, so I can’t be sure.”
“And Don?”
“Tailing them.”
“Let them go.”
“What?” Kevin paused. “Dad, you can’t be serious!”
I thudded my head against the glass. “How are Dustin’s vitals?”
There was a pause as Kevin checked, and when he came back, he said, “Mostly normal, but showing faint signs of anxiety.”
“Then, he went willingly.” My heart ached at the thought, but I could not deny it. “He went with him to get revenge on me for holding him hostage here.” I laughed, bitter and ugly. “I cannot blame him, my son. I have… I have been overbearing in this, I think.”
“Dad, are you sure?”
No. I was not sure of anything.
I sighed and held up my left hand. “Call Don.”
My CommLink chimed, and soon I heard Don’s tight voice. “Boss.”
“You are following them?” I demanded.
“Yes, boss,” Don muttered. “I’m staying two car lengths behind, but they don’t seem to be trying to lose me.”
My stomach plummeted. “Did Dustin go willingly?”
Don blew out a harsh breath. “Yes, sir. He told me to follow, but he got in Erastus’s car willingly after an argument in Joe Nicol’s office. What do you want me to do?”
What did I want him to do?
Pull the car over and forcibly remove Dustin from Erastus’s clutches would be nice, but the wrong move for Dustin. He would never forgive me.
My shoulders sagged, and I said. “Carry on. Call me if anything changes.”
“At once, sir.”
I opened my eyes and stared out at the forest I loved. “Please be safe, my beauty.”
