I wanted to touch Dustin so much that my fingers itched with the temptation, but he seemed so unapproachable. It was as if, when we pulled away from that tree, he had erected an impenetrable wall between us, and I could only see him through a window made of bulletproof glass. I ached to touch, to hold, to comfort, but Dustin did not want that right now, or at least, that was how he projected himself.
Dustin was strong. Stronger than I could ever be, even as a former king. He had a warrior’s heart, steadfast and brave, honest and open. He exuded confidence and virility without even trying. But he wasn’t afraid of asking for comfort when he needed it or comforting others when he saw their hearts breaking right in front of him. He was a protector, and I saw now that I had been demeaning him by forcing my protection onto him.
Even now, Dustin was trying to protect me, to spare my feelings by masking his fury with calm words and a relaxed posture. I could feel his anger like a brand against my side, but he kept it contained. It was almost as if Dustin didn’t even feel it. Perhaps he did not.
I studied his profile after he had gone quiet for a long moment. I wished I could hear his thoughts, wished I could soothe him somehow. But perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps I had taken too much from him. Perhaps I needed to make the true compromises, to be the one to pull back. Since his arrival, all I had done was ask him to make sacrifice after sacrifice, compromise after compromise, and now I could see how it wore on him.
Looking back, he had never looked comfortable in the clothes I had purchased for him, but in the worn jeans and ratty hoodie, he seemed utterly comfortable in his own skin, and it made me wonder why.
Just as we were about to break the tree line that delineated the forest from my manicured grounds, I pulled Dustin to a stop and turned him to face me. My heart fell at his guarded expression, the way he studied me as if he were about to get sent to his room with no supper—as if I were about to punish him for his honesty.
It drew a heavy sigh from deep in my lungs, and without my bidding, my magic flared. It responded to Dustin’s needs as readily as it responded to me. And without a word, I cupped Dustin’s face and cast the glamor on him, rounding his pointed ears, adding imperfections to his flawless skin, dulling his gorgeous silver eyes to a clear gray so that he could pass off as a human.
I would need to stay near him for the spell to remain, but… we could make it work. I would do anything to make this work.
When the spell was complete, I leaned in and pressed a warm kiss to Dustin’s forehead. “All I wish for, my beauty, is to make you happy.”
He stared at the ground between us and sighed. “I’m not happy here.”
“I know,” I said against his cheek. I pulled him close to me, wrapped him in my arms. “I know, but could you be?”
Dustin’s answer was a one-shoulder shrug.
“I placed the glamor upon you. I was wondering… What you would think of dating. Everything between us has escalated so very fast, and Erastus ruined our first date at Anatole’s.” I pulled back to look into his eyes and found him grinning so brightly I was nearly blinded by it. “It… it would be a start, yes?”
He chuckled awkwardly and glanced down before returning his eyes to mine. “I swear, kitten, if I weren’t already in love with you, I’d have just fallen head first in it.”
My heart skipped a beat, making me breathless. He loved me? Truly?
Dustin reached up, and I only realized I was crying when he wiped away my tears. I leaned into his hands and whispered thickly, “And I am so very in love with you.” I laughed softly as he kissed a tear track from my cheek. “I think I have been in love with you almost from the beginning. Perhaps that was why—why I tried to hold on so tightly.”
Dustin’s smile was so tender when he kissed me, just a chaste press of warm lips wet with my own tears. “Hold on as tight as you want,” he whispered, “but now you know that holding on and suffocating are different things. Hold me, Cass. Just let me breathe, okay?”
I had been suffocating him.
The thought struck me harder than a speeding vehicle. I had been suffocating the one I wanted desperately to make happy. How could Dustin be happy when I had been smothering him?
Dustin must have seen my distress because he stroked my cheeks and rested our foreheads together. “You know now. We can get through this.”
Could we? The thick, painful lump in my throat strangled me, made my voice come out strained. “Are you certain you wish to? …To get through this?”
His eyes danced with mirth and love. “Can’t have my kitten pouting, can I? So you laid on my face and smothered me with your fur for a while. That doesn’t mean you can’t learn. Doesn’t mean we can’t move forward and do better, right?”
“Right,” I whispered. The look Dustin gave me then beamed sunlight straight to my soul, filling me with warmth and happiness. I wanted to bask in it always, and it seemed like he was giving me that opportunity.
“Then let’s get back to the estate.” He kissed the tip of my nose and wrapped an arm about my waist, drawing me across the lawn with him. “I’ve been out for a while, and now I want some hot chocolate, or maybe a latté. Beth makes the best lattés.”
We sat in the solarium later the next evening. Dustin sat close, his arm around my shoulders as we watched the fallen leaves swirl in the brisk wind. He had agreed that today was too chilly to go anywhere, had suggested we sit in the solarium with a fire in the hearth and watch the falling leaves.
I had to admit that it was perfect. Having Dustin’s warmth wrapped around me, a thick, soft blanket in a muted blue wrapped around our waists and draped over our legs as we sprawled, tangled in each other, was the perfect date. We had no obligations to anyone. The security team was all but invisible, giving us the illusion of privacy.
And Dustin held my hand, our fingers linked when he wasn’t using that free hand to sip his creamy, hot drink.
It was perfect. One of those days you wished would never end, that you could stretch time and ensure that the moment would stay with you always. It was the kind of day where we spoke of anything and nothing, inconsequential things that kept the conversation light and dreamy like the leaves that tumbled around beyond the floor to ceiling windows before us.
I hated to break the peace, but I wished to have a serious discussion. And as always, Dustin sensed my mood shift. He put down his latté and squeezed my fingers. “What’s up, kitten?”
I chuckled at his pet name for me and kissed the side of his head. “I wanted to speak with you about college.”
Dustin tensed and gave me a wary look. “What about it?”
My gaze returned to the natural wonder outside. “I know you desperately wish to go. I have taken so much from you. And I know you wish to work, to earn your way.”
The look he turned on me wasn’t the hostile thing I had been expecting. He shifted, turning his body toward me, giving me his full attention. “This is important to you…”
Turning, I faced him in return and smiled. “Just as you are a protector at heart, I am a provider, a nurturer. Yes, it is important to me.”
He sighed with a roll of his eyes and smirked at me. “Spill it.”
Now that he put me on the spot, I hesitated, my gaze drifting to my lap as I fidgeted with the fringe of the blanket we had cocooned ourselves in. “I have many companies, Dustin. I could give you a list, see which one you wish to work in, where you might find you could enjoy the work. I could get you into Kireldan University if you pass the entrance exams, and that would get you out of the house for hours each day, though I’d have to figure out a way to keep the glamor on you.” I released a pent-up breath and looked him in the eyes. “I know it seems like much, but beauty, you have worked so hard for being so young, and you deserve this.”
He rolled his eyes again, but his smirk grew. “And if I say I’ll think about it, will that mess with your head, or will you actually give me the time to think it over?”
Reaching out, I grabbed him by his nape and drew him close until our lips brushed with every word. “Think about it, my beauty. I want this to be something you’re excited about, not something you will dread.”
As I had hoped, he grinned and kissed me senseless, our tongues twisting in a lazy, perfect kiss. When he pulled back, his silver eyes were warm, and looking into them felt like coming home. “Then I’ll think about it.”
A chime alerted me to a CommMail, and my heart started thundering. It took everything within me to fight the smile that wanted to spread across my face as I read it. Dustin saw through it immediately and poked a finger into my side. “What is that look for, Cass?”
I gave up the fight and grinned. “Your surprise is ready.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “What surprise?”
I shrugged. “It is dinner time. Not to worry, we do not have to leave our little cocoon.”
A smile played at his lips, but Dustin narrowed his eyes further. “Dinner is a surprise?”
Just then, Beth bustled through the door with a cart laden with food. The greasy smell assaulted me but also made my stomach gurgle for some odd reason. I should not want such fare, but Dustin had mentioned it that first fateful day.
And as soon as Dustin smelled it, he brightened and laughed. “You didn’t!”
I grinned and accepted the tray from Beth, one that would stretch across both our laps so we could eat while relaxing in this warm comfort. “Burgers, fries, and for you, a cola.”
He nudged his shoulder against mine. “Thank you, Cass. This means a lot. I missed burgers.”
He kissed me with smiling lips, and then we set about assembling our burgers with the condiments and extras available. I had to admit, even though it was messy and greasy, and something I would not normally have, it was quite tasty. Filling, too. And the grease from the hamburger, the way it clung to my tongue, the way it lingered on my palate, was odd but made the salty fries taste so much better.
We ate in silence for a while, and once Dustin had finished his burger and only toyed with the last of his fries, he leaned against me and said softly, “I don’t want to fight it anymore.”
Perplexed, I wiped the grease and salt from my fingers with the only clean napkin left on my tray. “Fight what, beauty?”
“The attraction between us.” He sighed and nestled closer to me. “I do love you. And it made me feel weird, like Stockholm Syndrome weird. I thought that’s what it was, but I just…” He shrugged. “We fit.”
I smiled. “We do.”
He dragged another fry through the mound of ketchup on his plate and tossed it into his mouth. He went to lick his fingers, but I caught his hand, and slowly licked each one clean, loving the taste of salt and grease and Dustin. But when I licked his forefinger, I paused and pulled back.
“Beauty…”
“What?”
I showed him his finger, and my throat grew tight. “One of your fingers is missing the scar.”
Dustin stared for a whole minute before whispering, “Holy shit.”
I stroked the skin of his finger reverently. “The transformation is progressing.” Our eyes met again, and I brought his hand to my mouth again, kissed his palm. “How do you feel?”
I saw the blatant lie in his eyes before he even said a word. “I feel fine.”
“Do not lie to me, Dustin. I thought we were beyond that now.”
The contrite look did not belong on Dustin’s face, and no man with his courage should duck his head in shame. “I’ve been sweating myself to death at night. Running fevers, I think. It doesn’t bother me much during the day, but at night I have pounding headaches, my body feels like it’s on fire, and… I just feel like shit.”
“Why?” I asked. I ached for him. “Why had you not spoken of this sooner? Why did you not tell me?”
His lips twisted into a sad, pained smile. “Because I didn’t trust you, and I didn’t want you to worry.”
Something fluttered in my belly, and I leaned our foreheads together. “And now?”
That smile, full of love and light and laughter, full of promises of forever, was one I wanted to see on his face for the rest of our lives. “Now, Cass? I still don’t want you to worry, but… I’m done hiding. I’m done fighting.” He shifted forward and nudged his nose to mine, making my heart stutter. “I trust you.”
We may not have had an easy beginning. We may end up going our separate ways one day. But for now, having Dustin’s trust, feeling his love in every touch and kiss, I had hope for the first time in millennia. I had hope for a future I never knew I could have.
But for now… for now, I was happy. Happy and content because Dustin showed me every day that I could be a better person, that I was loved. And most importantly, he showed me that I did not have to be alone anymore.
I had a future. And that future was blinding.
To be continued…
