DJ
USING the moment to cool down, I sit up and rip open the condom packet. Sheathing myself carefully, I take a couple of deep breaths.
I haven’t trusted anyone with my body in months. But nobody else gets to me the way Lianne does. When she looks up at me with those pretty, intelligent eyes, there isn’t a thing in the world I wouldn’t do for her if she asked me. And she’s asking for this. It’s in her shy smile and the way her body responds every time I touch her.
For the first time in months, I’m buzzing with both desire and optimism. Trusting someone enough to take her to bed isn’t easy for me anymore. But this is Lianne. She’s smart and fierce and lovely. And she’s reaching for me not just with her arms but with her entire being.
Lianne puts one of her small, soft hands on my hip, her thumb grazing my ass. There is love in her touch, and I close my eyes and focus on that. Tonight she’s pulling me back across this threshold. The way she showed up at my door with pizza and a smile when I really needed her.
I lie down beside her, pulling her into my arms for a hug. And as she sighs against my chest, I realize something important—it’s not just Lianne who I trust right now, it’s me. I know what mutual desire looks like. It looks a lot like the panting, happy girl in my bed. Her eagerness feeds my own. The volume on the confusion I’ve felt all year is lowered just a fraction of a decibel every time Lianne touches me. Because I’m not crazy, I’m not blind, and I’m not deaf to nuance. Not tonight, and not before.
Lianne kisses my neck, and it’s true joy that I experience as I roll her closer to my body. We are skin on skin, and it’s the best thing ever. “You make me happy,” I whisper, because it’s true.
“You make me crazy,” she returns.
“Crazy bad?” I kiss her neck. “Or crazy good?” I suck gently on her sensitive skin and she whimpers in my arms. When I slide one of my knees between her two smooth ones, she throws her head back and lets her legs fall apart. It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. I’m going to burst from wanting her.
I settle myself in the cradle of her body. We line up perfectly together, and I wonder if she’s noticed. Bracing myself on my elbows, I lean in for more kisses. No matter what, I will never get enough of her.
Her eyes lift to mine, and they’re heavy-lidded. Even in the dark I can make out a flush on her cheeks. Her lips are swollen from my kisses. She’s waiting, but I stop to watch her for a moment. Not because I’m uncertain. Just because I cherish this. While it’s damn hard to find a silver lining in anything that’s happened to me lately, I’m positive that I appreciate Lianne more right now than I would if my life were easier.
After one more doozy of a kiss—it’s almost impossible to stop at one—I take one of her hands and wrap it around my erection. Then I lower myself so that I’m right at heaven’s doorstep. On a sigh she pulls me into her body. When she removes her hand, I kiss her palm and then slide the rest of the way inside. And it’s beautiful. She’s soft and tight and gripping my hips with her knees.
I have to drop my head into the shelter of her shoulder for a moment to regroup. It’s been a long time since I dared to get so close to anyone, and I didn’t realize letting down my guard could ache like this. I’m facedown in the ocean, and she’s the lifeboat. I’m devastated by the way she’s holding me everywhere at once.
“Daniel,” she whispers, straining to hold me closer.
Hearing my name on her lips makes my heart skip a beat. “You good?” I ask, giving my hips an experimental roll.
“So much better than good.” When I roll my hips again, she lets out a shuddering moan.
Jesus H.
I work it slowly, because I want this to last. It won’t, though, if Lianne keeps making those irresistible noises. I love how she sounds so out of control. Right now, she’s not the cautious girl who hides under her baseball cap. She’s eager and a little crazy, and I love it. Nobody gets this version of Lianne but me. Tonight, no one exists except the two of us. I would keep it this way forever if I could.
Kissing my way down her hairline, I pause at her ear. “First time I ever saw you, I wanted a kiss,” I whisper, punctuating it with a kiss on her cheekbone. “Now I’m totally spoiled. Forever.”
It was true, too. Lianne tugs my head down for another deep kiss as I sink into her once again. This is how it feels to get just what you need when you didn’t even know you needed it. It’s not just the shock of pleasure I feel every time I move. It’s the soothing beat of her heart against mine and the way she holds on as though she’s never letting go.
We meet again and again, and it’s beautiful.
Her breathing shifts, becoming hot and desperate. Her hands grip my arms, then my sides, then my back, as if she’s searching for something and not quite finding it. I take a deep breath, trying to hold myself together a little longer. Reaching back, I grab one of her smooth legs in my hand and bend it, kissing her knee and holding it tightly to my chest.
“Oh.” She grips my ribcage.
I bear down, closing my eyes, trying to resist the pull. But the erotic look on her face is burned on my brain, the way her mouth makes a perfect O of surprise. I groan against the pressure to burst from so much desire.
“Oh, D…” She bites off my name on a gasp. Then she gasps again. And the sound of her coming apart ruins me. She grips my body everywhere and I let myself go, chasing down my own release with more urgency than elegance. Sensation clobbers me, and I let it all go—all the tension, all my anger. Like a burning arrow, I let it all fly. It singes me clean through, until there’s nothing left but our rapid breathing and sweaty limbs.
Heavy-limbed and spent, I roll to the side and pull Lianne with me. She wraps her arms around my neck and burrows in with a comfortable sigh. I don’t ask how she is because I already know the answer. A small, soft hand traces quiet patterns on my back, while her breathing evens out.
We hold each other for a while, until exhaustion weighs me down. I give her a tight hug, but then I struggle to sit up, leaving one hand on her perfect ass. “Be right back,” I practically slur. I stumble into the bathroom. After a necessary minute in there, I remember that I left half a pizza on the coffee table, so I shuffle out to put it away in the fridge.
A minute later I slide back into bed and pull Lianne’s small body against mine. “I’ve been awake since four,” I tell her as my eyes fall closed. “I have to sleep. I’m sorry.”
Her slim hand caresses my hair. “Can I stay?”
“Of course,” I mumble. “You got somewhere else you need to be?”
“No,” she laughs.
I try to give her a sleepy smile, but I’m too tired. The last thing I feel before falling asleep is her head on my bare chest.
