The next morning I hurriedly washed up at the outdoor communal bathhouse and then put on fresh clothes. Cyrus said that he’d gotten drunk with one of the king’s advisors last night and that they had let slip that the next trial was one I was well suited for, living in the Mud Flats, but I might have to go hungry for a few days. Going without meals didn’t worry me, unless of course I was weakened and then called into a fight, which was probably going to happen. They were testing our strength. So instead of the light breakfast I normally ate, I scarfed meat and fresh fruits until I was sickeningly full.
When I arrived at the blue champion tent, it hit me that there were only twelve of us left.
How quickly we’d been culled in half shocked me but I got over it quickly when Ivanna gave me a grin.
She was no doubt still basking in her ability to have made me take no weapon into my fight yesterday.
I walked right up to her and looked her in the eyes. “I still won,” I reminded her.
Her gaze narrowed but she said nothing.
“Hello champions!” a familiar voice called behind me and I turned to see the same male advisor from yesterday. He was holding a large canvas sack and held it out to us. Eliza slipped into the large tent last, looking sleepy and possibly like she’d been up all night crying. I wondered whether yesterday was her first kill and how she was taking it.
“Place any weapons or personal items, other than clothing that you have on, in here.” He shook the bag.
We all looked at each other in confusion.
“You will be searched,” he added and that got us moving.
I reached down into my boot and pulled out my small knife. Ivanna did the same and some of the others too.
Eliza took a fancy jeweled hair clip from her blonde tresses and held it up. “Will I get it back?” she asked and I rolled my eyes.
This girl was begging to die.
“Of course,” he said as she dropped it warily in the bag. He cinched it shut and then tossed it onto the ground in the corner of the tent. “For the next trial you will be blindfolded and dropped off at an unknown location.”
A few gasps caused him to nod. “You must make your way back here to basecamp, living off the land to keep you alive. A queen of the wolven needs to be able to live off the land.”
My attention immediately went to Eliza and I watched as the blood drained from her face and she swayed a little on her feet. This wasn’t a normal Queen Trials challenge. At least not in any of the ones I’d heard about.
This was it. This was how she died. Wet, cold, and with no food in her belly as a giant cougarin split open her gut while she slept. I sighed when she looked at me in terror.
Don’t make friends.
My brother’s words bounced around my skull and I tore my attention away from her.
Two wolven guards entered the tent then and patted us down for hidden luxuries that might make our wilderness survival any easier. They took my leather strap belt which only caused me to roll my eyes. I could go into the challenge naked and still fare better than Eliza and most of the others.
Ivanna was from Crestline pack and I knew she would have knowledge of how to survive the elements. Olesa too. I’d met her yesterday and come to find out she was from Upper Rim pack. It was better weather than Crestline, but they weren’t as modernized as the other packs.
Everyone else was screwed. The other nine girls were from cities or villages that were extremely spoiled, with market stalls to buy their food from. I could guarantee none of them had so much as picked a piece of fruit from a tree their entire life. Or skinned a bearin.
When we were completely stripped of anything of use, we were called out of the tent. The crowd cheered wildly at the sight of us and we made our way to a set of three wolf sleds. My gaze flicked around the crowd until they landed on my brother.
Find water first, he hand signed.
I nodded.
Make alliances. Assassinations possible, he added and my stomach dropped.
Of course. Ivanna could cut my throat in my sleep and say I died of a bearin attack.
I nodded again to indicate I understood him.
Relief spread through my chest as I realized I would be able to help Eliza without feeling like I was betraying my brother’s command not to make friends. I snaked my arm out and grasped her hand, pulling her next to me.
She looked terrified and when I drew her to me, she peered at me expectantly.
I hung back with her a few paces as all the others walked ahead of us and I was sure the roaring crowd was too loud for anyone to hear.
“Do you want to have an alliance? I can help you survive the elements if you take watch while I sleep. We can rest in shifts,” I said quickly.
Relief washed over her face and she squeezed my hand. “Yes. I didn’t want to die on my birthday.”
I stilled. “Today is your birthday?”
She nodded shyly.
A sickly feeling washed over me then. She shouldn’t be here. Why was she even put forward for this fight? She was too sweet. Dominant yes, but too loving and innocent and all the crap you needed to not be in order to survive these trials.
“Well, this is the shittiest birthday party I’ve ever been to,” I commented and she barked out in laughter, which made her look like a young teenage girl.
“Thanks. I needed that.”
I inclined my head and we carried on, following the others onto the backs of the sleds. A troupe of guards stepped over to us and the king was among them. They all held thick strips of cloth to bind our eyes. The guards approached each woman and I steeled myself when the king approached me.
Reaching up, he covered my eyes with the blindfold and his arms rested on the sides of my neck.
‘You will be going north.’ Axil’s deep voice infiltrated my mind and I gasped slightly. Of course. He was king now and as such had all of the powers of the king wolven. Mental communication in human form while touching skin was one of them.
‘You will be deep in the dead lands with no trees or bushes for shelter. No small game or berries for food. The only water you will find is inside of the round bulbous plant that looks dead but is not.’
Whoa. What?
‘Why are you telling me this?’ I sent the mental message to him and hoped it was received.
I felt his fingers trail against my neck then, very briefly as he slowly pulled away from me. ‘Because the thought of you not coming back makes me forget how to breathe.’
He was gone then, his footsteps retreating with the other soldiers.
I was angry in that moment. Axil Moon was breaking the rules to help me and it wasn’t fair to the others. Not only that, but he was acting like he wanted me to win this thing and that really infuriated me. He had his chance with me when we were fifteen. He had said no and dug his grave, so now I was going to make him lie in it.
The sled lurched forward and I reached out and grasped onto the handle as Eliza yelped beside me. Cold hard wind slapped at my face and arms for hours and I couldn’t get what Axil just did out of my head. He gave me inside information because he thought I was too weak to win this on a level playing field? That wasn’t fair! And it pissed me off. Don’t speak to me for five years and then summon me to fight as your wife, then tell me you regretted inviting me and then give me information to help me win? This man was a mess! What was he thinking?
We rode all morning, all afternoon and into the early evening. The frigid chill in the air turned to a warmth that was only possible in the dead lands. The dead lands spanned a large part of our territory and backed up to the Nightfall border and the coast of the sea. It was a weird corner of our realm that got a blast of warm sea air and harsh sunlight so nothing grew out here.
The dead lands ran for hundreds of miles, so even knowing where we were told me nothing. But knowing we’d gone north inside the dead lands told me I had to go south to get back to Death Mountain. I stewed over the unfairness of the king telling me all of this information until the sleds finally stopped.
“Get off!” a guard snapped and I backed up off of the sled. “Don’t move!” he ordered and then I heard a loud thump, like a body falling onto the floor.
“What was that?” someone asked and then another thump.
Thump. Thump. Thump. One after the other I heard the sound of my fellow competitors being disarmed and all I could do was brace myself.
A cold rag came over my mouth and I didn’t even fight it. I breathed in a huge lungful of a pleasant smelling aroma as wooziness washed over me and then everything went black.
Thump.
“DON’T TOUCH HER!” Eliza snarled and I sat bolt upright, just in time to see Ivanna stalking towards me with a sharpened rock in her hand. Dizziness washed over me as the effects of whatever drug they had used fled from my system. Eliza was crouched in front of me, and the sound of snapping bones filled the open air. She was shifting to protect me and honor our alliance. Had she not, I might already be dead.
Now that Ivanna saw I was awake she faltered and I stood, a little unsteady, but fisted my hands ready to fight.
There were half a dozen girls still passed out on the ground and three more were off in the distance, scattered and running in different directions. It was bright out, morning by the position of the sun. We’d slept all night.
It was a miracle nothing had eaten us; the dead lands were known for being full of bearin.
Muffled moans and groans began to ring out as the other women woke up. Ivanna and I were locked in a stare and I grinned maniacally. “We can do this now if you want,” I told her, cocking my head to the side.
I would enjoy killing Ivanna: she had no honor if she was going to bludgeon me with a rock while unconscious. She’d lost any respect she had gained from me.
Eliza had fully shifted into her wolf form now and I was surprised at how big she was. She stood a good head taller than my wolf and looked thicker too. Her lips peeled back into a snarl as she growled at Ivanna.
“But you might have trouble fighting us both.” I smiled.
Ivanna swallowed hard, dropping the rock and putting her hands up in a playful gesture. Now that all of the other girls were awake and looking around at the vast open land, I didn’t feel right about having the knowledge Axil had given me and keeping it to myself.
“My brother got drunk last night with someone who gave him inside information,” I told them all. “They took us north, into the dead lands. No food will be found and the only water comes from a bulbous plant that looks dead.” Was that everything? I couldn’t remember.
“Why are you telling us?” one girl asked, standing unsteadily.
I shrugged. “I want to win on an even playing field.”
“She could be lying,” Ivanna mused, her dark hair slicked into a nice bun, as she glared at me. “Her brother is a master at mental manipulation. This could be a trick to get us to head south and not waste time looking for food.”
I rolled my eyes. “Suit yourselves.” Reaching down, I grabbed the clothes Eliza had dropped before shifting and picked them up. She might need them later. Then I tapped on her shoulder and started a brisk walking pace to the south. I would bet my lucky hunting knife none of the city girls knew which way south was. They could probably smell their home in wolf form if we’d only traveled for an hour or two out, but at my estimation we’d trekked twelve hours on a briskly paced wolf sled which meant we were probably two days from making it home on foot. If we didn’t get lost. The lack of food would slow our pace and if we didn’t find water it would affect our stamina as well. The other three girls who’d gone off in all directions would be stuck out here for a week and eventually succumb to the elements.
Eliza stayed in her wolf form, which I actually thought was smart. “You’re a really big wolf. You should do all the rest of your fights in wolf form if you can manage to shift fast enough.” Now I saw why her name had been thrown into the ring for top contender. She was as big as the male wolves which was a huge advantage when fighting a smaller female.
She looked up at me and gave me a wolfish grin, appearing to like my compliment.
“And thanks for having my back just now. I owe you one,” I added as she happily trotted beside me.
I peered behind me to see that the girls had gathered into a little group and seemed to be arguing about something. Probably whether or not to believe my advice. That wasn’t my problem. I told them what I knew and pretty soon they would realize it.
“We need to find water. Let me know if you see any plants, even if they look dried up and dead,” I told Eliza.
She immediately put her snout to the ground and took off ten paces ahead of me to the south, sniffing the dirt like a tracker wolf.
We would need to pace our return to Death Mountain and because of the dense fog in the distance, I couldn’t see anything beyond a few miles. We could go without food but needed water.
After walking for an hour, I turned around and saw four blobs in the distance behind me, following my trail. It seemed at least four of the girls had believed what I’d told them. The others would be dead if they didn’t figure it out soon. I couldn’t tell if one of the blobs was Ivanna.
Eliza’s wolf yipped in high-pitched excitement and I spun back to face her. There on the ground between the cracks of earth and dead dry brush were strands of a long dead plant that had little balls attached to the vine. It reminded me of sea kelp.
Exhilaration thrummed through me as I crouched closer. The plant was covered in a white powder which made it appear to have no signs of life but when I picked it up, I grinned. It was heavy and the white powder was coming off on my fingers, revealing a dark green healthy bulbous fruit-like plant beneath.
Squeezing one of the bulbs between my fingers, I laughed when fresh clear water squirted out.
Eliza turned in a circle as if chasing her tail and I scooped up a giant six-foot string of the plant and ripped it from the ground, putting it around the back of my neck to travel with like a scarf.
Eliza whimpered and looked up at me.
I shook my head. “We don’t need it just yet. Let’s ration in case we don’t find any more.”
I was thirsty too but not desperately so.
City wolves. I shook my head.
After a few more hours of walking, we’d discovered ten more vines. I was now easily popping the bulbs into my mouth after brushing off the tasteless powder and sucking down the cool liquid. The roots must have run really deep into an underground water reservoir because they were full of fresh water. I gave Eliza’s wolf plenty as well and we had more than enough for the walk out of here stored around my neck in heavy hanging vines.
I couldn’t help but think where we would be if Axil had not told me about them … his blue eyes, the things he’d said to me over the past two days. They swirled around my head, leaving me in a wave of confusion.
We walked south at a decent pace until the sun started to lower in the sky and my legs felt like mush and my body craved rest. A wolven shifter could go without food for about seven days but it cost us a lot of energy. Especially if we were shifting forms like Eliza had. I knew by the way she was walking, her back legs giving out, that she needed rest.
“We’ll camp here tonight.” I pointed to a cropping of three dead bushes that would give us zero protection against predators or the elements. It was just an easy spot to point to. She walked over to the dried bushes and collapsed in front of them panting and then looked at me as if awaiting the next instruction.
“You can sleep first. I’ll wake you in a few hours for my turn,” I told her.
At that declaration her head dropped onto the dry mud and she closed her eyes. She was out.
I peered at the ground around our little camp before the sun was totally blotted from the sky and found a few smooth rocks and a large stick. Useless as weapons if we were attacked.
I didn’t want to shift into my wolf form and consume the energy, especially without food, which was why Eliza was staying a wolf. She’d already done it once and to go back and forth would kill her of starvation quicker. We both knew that without even saying it.
I was confident Axil hadn’t lied to me and I was sure we were going south. What I questioned was whether we would get lost or slow down so much that it took us longer to reach Death Mountain than I had anticipated.
My mind warred with my instinct as I tried to do the math on when I last ate. We had spent twelve hours traveling here on the wolf sled, and then twelve hours knocked out. Then another twelve hours walking today. Yesterday morning with Cyrus was my last meal. So almost two days.
If I shifted into my wolf form to keep us safe from predators overnight, the walk tomorrow would be slower because I might have to shift back to human form to carry the long and heavy water bulbs. Draping them over my wolf’s back might only cause them to fall off as I walked on all fours and had no boxy shoulders to keep them on.
A howl rose up in the distance and my instinct won. Pushing the wasted energy and the future lack of food from my mind, I stripped down quickly and fell onto all fours as my body welcomed the change. Some wolves didn’t like being in their animal form more than a few hours, others could go days without changing shape.
I was the latter, most dominants were. I loved being in my powerful wolven form. And if I shifted now, I’d probably have to remain this way or I might not have the energy to shift back to human.
It didn’t matter what my mind thought, though, as I’d already started the change. Muscles strained, bones broke and I breathed through the pain.
Eliza lifted her head to look at me sleepily, probably awoken by the noise but then dropped back down when she realized I was just doing this as a precaution and we weren’t under imminent threat.
Once my shift was complete, I felt so much better. If a threat were to pose itself somewhere in the night, I would be ready to fend it off.
I was tired but I didn’t want to fall asleep, so I stayed standing. Every half hour or so I took a small loop around sleeping Eliza to keep my blood pumping and force myself to stay awake and alert. I was bored and so I allowed my mind to wander to the time I’d first met Axil.
I never wore dresses but my friend Maxine had convinced me to wear one to the skills camp registration day. It was mostly a meet and greet with the other dominants. The dress I’d worn was white with small pink flowers embroidered on it. Way too girly for my usual style and yet I’d felt beautiful in it. A lot of teenagers went to the summer skills camp in Eagle Cliff territory to hook up and I had hoped to find a boy with whom I could share my first kiss, but I’d had no idea I would meet the love of my life.
I was fifteen, dominant and incredibly naive.
After registration, I’d made my way to the food tent. There was a full band set up and as the sun set on the first night, I was dancing my heart out with Maxine. My arms were up in the air as I threw my hips side to side and laughed with a carefree joy I hadn’t had since my parents died.
That’s when Axil made his move.
The first thing that attracted me to him was his confidence. Most dominant men had an annoying level of confidence but Axil’s was tempered with something else. Something I couldn’t put my finger on at the time.
Respect. He respected me even before he’d touched my hips and stepped in front of me, looking down at me with those piercing blue eyes.
“Dance with me.” It was more of a command than a question but I knew I could say no if I’d wanted. He was the most handsome boy I’d ever seen, so I nodded and threw my arms around his neck.
That’s when he leaned forward and smelled me. His nose went to my hair and he moaned. I’d never met such a forward boy in my life! These things were not done at a first meeting in my pack, but with him … it felt right.
“What do I smell like?” I asked him with all the innocence of my fifteen-year-old self.
He pulled back and said something I’d never forgotten. Something that still plagued me today.
“My future wife.” He grinned.
In that moment, I’d fallen instantly in love with him. A puppy love with no depth but it was love just the same. First love. The reckless, careless kind that you jump into without much thought or fear of consequence.
I was the first to kiss him. Right there on the dance floor after he told me I smelled like his future wife. I captured his mouth in mine and our tongues danced. We alternated between kissing and dancing for hours until the camp organizers finally told us to head back to our tents.
The camp was a two-month long event and Axil made me promise to meet him the next day.
I did. And we’d fallen deeper. After our classes he took me to the river and we went fishing and talked until the sun went down. I told him all about my childhood and he shared some things but never about being a prince.
On the fifth week of the camp, he braided some string together and slipped it over my ring finger. He promised to one day make me his wife. He said that he had to go back to Death Mountain and deal with family business but when he was a man, he would send for me. Dorian didn’t allow us to get married until we were seventeen at the youngest anyway, so I knew I would have to bide my time to get my alpha’s permission.
I nodded enthusiastically. I would have agreed to anything, I was head over heels in love with him. We both planned to meet at the next skills camp the following year and then we spent the rest of the night dancing.
We snuck away from our pack tents that night and met on a blanket under the stars. We didn’t have sex, we just wanted to fall asleep next to each other. We did this for the last two weeks of camp, sneaking out of our tents and falling asleep together under the stars. And that’s how his older brother Ansel, the king at the time, found us the next morning.
Nausea and anger roiled through me as the painful scene flashed through my mind. The way his brother talked about me like I was trash. The way Axil said nothing to defend me. How he’d cowered to his brother and walked away without even looking at me. It made me sick and then I never saw him again.
I went to the next skills camp at sixteen, fully planning on dancing with another guy to make Axil jealous, but he never showed.
That bastard broke my innocent little heart into a thousand pieces and I’d never loved since. I’d had two boyfriends, but saw each of them as someone to warm the bed, not a person I could envision a life with. My heart felt raw for five years and never healed enough to let anyone in again.
Now here I was, fighting to be Axil’s wife. The irony was not lost on me.
Eliza rustled next to me then and I pulled myself from my thoughts. She stood, shaking herself and then indicated with her head that I should lie down.
If we were packmates we’d be able to speak into each other’s minds, but we weren’t, so we’d have to make do with head gestures.
I nodded and walked over to the warm spot she’d been lying in, plopping down immediately.
When I saw that she was fully awake and walking around and wasn’t likely to be surprised in an ambush, I closed my eyes and tried to push thoughts of fifteen-year-old Axil from my mind. I hadn’t allowed myself to think about him so deeply in years. Going back to those memories hurt, and I realized that not getting closure, not being able to tell him how he hurt me was what killed me. I’d felt bound and gagged, unable to share my side of it. Sleep pulled at my limbs and I pushed Axil from my mind but those piercing blue eyes kept coming back to me.
My future wife.
Did he have any idea that I would actually be in the running one day for such a thing? No. How could he? With a deep sigh, I lowered my head and then I was out.
