I knew I wouldn’t sleep; I’d come to terms with that. Instead, I just lay awake as the hours ticked by. Footsteps sounded outside and I perked up when I saw a shadow cross over the tent. Suddenly Eliza was standing in the doorway and for a wild second I thought she meant to assassinate me before our fight and I welcomed it.
Take the decision from me and just end it all, I begged.
But she wasn’t holding a weapon and she looked like she’d been crying. She walked right up to my hammock, staring down at me.
“Can’t sleep?” she whispered to me.
I shook my head and she nodded that I should follow her outside. I sat up, stepping out of the hammock and followed her into the crisp cool night. It was chilly and so I pulled my fur cloak on to keep me warm.
“What’s up?” I asked, praying she wouldn’t beg me to spare her life.
She turned to face me with an eerie calmness. “I said goodbye to my family a few hours ago and then tried to escape to Cinder Mountain,” she said flatly and I gasped.
“You wha— what happened?” I looked at her more closely now, noticing some dirt and cuts on her arms.
She sighed. “The advisors have the entire mountain surrounded by Royal Guards. After the other two girls fled, no one can get out. They want their last fight, they want their queen.”
My heart broke then. She’d tried to leave, to give me a chance to win without anyone getting killed. She failed.
“Eliza, I can’t—”
She held up a hand and then finally met my gaze. “I never expected to make it this far,” she said with a smile. “My family understands the situation and tomorrow I’m going to forfeit.”
My eyes flew wide. “You can’t, you’ll be ripped apart!”
She looked inside the pack tent and then pulled me farther away so that I wouldn’t wake anyone.
“I’ll forfeit,” I told her boldly.
She shook her head. “Then you get ripped apart and I marry Axil. Do you really want me bedding him for the rest of my life?”
A growl formed in my throat and she chuckled. “That’s what I thought. You guys are mates. You’re the stronger of the two of us. You deserve to be queen.”
An unexpected sob shook my body and she pulled me in for a bone-crushing hug. I cried then, for what felt like the tenth time since I got to this damn mountain and she held me, keeping her composure the entire time.
“You’re so calm,” I told her as I pulled away.
She nodded. “I’ve made my peace with the situation, Zara. Come on, I want to show you my favorite place in the whole city. When you are queen, you can go there to watch the sunrise and remember me.”
Hooking her elbow into mine, she pulled me after her, but my mind was still playing catch-up.
Remember her.
She wanted me to remember her because she was going to die? I walked in a numb silence beside her as we hiked around the castle and up the mountain that loomed behind it. She’d already made peace with her own pack tearing her apart? And I was supposed to sit by and watch it happen?
“Eliza—”
“Shh, I want my last night to be happy,” she cut me off and another sob lodged in my throat. We hiked, arm in arm past a few Royal Guards for a good twenty minutes until we reached a flat bench of rock. There we sat and looked out onto the moonlight which lit up the vast expanse of land.
It was dark, with only the moonlight to illuminate it and yet it was still so pretty. From this vantage point I could see the dozens of patrolling guards all around the perimeter of the mountain. We were stuck here. Our fate was sealed.
“I’m glad it’s you,” Eliza said finally, startling me. We’d been sitting next to each other in silence for some time.
I looked at her and she was peering at the castle below and the city that stretched out beyond.
“I’m glad you will be our people’s queen.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I still wasn’t sure I was okay with what she was doing. Forfeiting to me and getting torn apart? There had to be another way.
“Maybe if those two girls who ran off were found—”
Eliza reached out and grasped my fingers to quiet me, then she leaned back on the rock and I followed her, lying on my back and looking up at the stars.
“When I was younger it was hard for me to make friends. You know how it is being a dominant female,” she said.
I nodded because I did know. The other dominant girls saw you as competition and the submissives were too scared to be around you for too long. You ended up hanging with the guys most of the time yet still feeling lonely.
“I never really felt like I belonged here. But when you took me into Mud Flat pack … it was hard to describe.” I looked over at her. She was smiling wistfully up at the stars. “I felt, for the first time like I had a real pack family and a sisterhood.” She squeezed my hand.
I hated this. I hated that she was saying goodbye.
“I’ll figure something out,” I told her but I knew my words were a lie. What was there to do? Stop a tradition that was over a thousand years old? We’d both be torn apart. The wolven people needed a strong queen and this was how they chose her. I was as much a victim to the circumstance as Eliza was.
We continued to hold hands as the night dragged on and sleep pulled at my limbs. It must only have been a few hours before sunrise but I could feel the heaviness of exhaustion pressing down on me. Eliza’s breathing evened out and I closed my eyes, only for a second, and fell asleep.
“Wake up. Look!” Eliza’s voice infiltrated my brain and my eyelids snapped open. I was disoriented for a moment, wondering where I was and why I was being woken. I could easily go for another ten hours’ sleep. Thick grogginess weighed me down but then I remembered I’d fallen asleep on the rock with Eliza and today was our fight.
I sprang into a sitting position and gasped when I saw what was before me. The realm that was once bathed in darkness was now covered with oranges and pinks across the entire horizon. The sunlight kissed the land as far as the eye could see and I was shocked at how far the visibility stretched from here. I could almost see the edge of the Mud Flats, blurry in the distance.
I looked over at Eliza to see a single tear slide down her cheek. She was so filled with life and innocence, I just couldn’t allow that to be extinguished. It was in this moment that I realized she would make an amazing queen. The love of her people and this land was exactly what a queen should have. I reached out and squeezed her hand, coming to terms with my own future just as she did.
“Isn’t it beautiful?”
I nodded. “Breathtaking.”
We sat in silence for another few moments and then the people began to move down below, stoking their fires and cooking their breakfast.
“Axil wanted to see me,” she said.
I nodded. “I’ll go with you.”
We stood and then made our way off the mountain and past the guards who watched us carefully, a hand on the blade at their hip.
When we reached the front doors of the castle, the guard stepped aside without question and let us in. We were instructed to go to the dining hall where we found Axil sitting in front of an untouched plate of food.
It seemed we weren’t the only ones preoccupied about the battle to come. Eliza was his wolf; he’d grown up with her. Knowing I had to kill her to be with him couldn’t have sat well with him.
“Eliza, Zara, thanks for coming.” He plastered on a fake smile as we approached.
Eliza stood before him and extended her wrist. “I think this will be easier on all of us if I rejoin Death Mountain pack before the fight.”
Axil’s fake smile faltered but he nodded. “I agree.”
Then he looked at me, as if asking if it were okay. It was hard to explain but I felt like Eliza’s alpha. I didn’t really know how all that worked since Dorian was my alpha but … she felt like mine.
I bit the inside of my cheek and nodded. For some reason I was sad. I didn’t want to feel the gaping hole left behind by her, the same hole that any pack member left when they went to marry and join another pack. But she … she was mine, I’d claimed her and we’d worked together to stay alive out there in the dead lands.
Axil shifted his fingers to claws and dragged them across her arm, forcing blood to come to the surface. Then he scratched his own arm, mixing the blood.
My heart beat wildly in my chest and I could feel Eliza’s hesitation. She didn’t want to do this either. She was Mud Flat pack now and it felt so right. But I’d taken her in as a pack sister without permission of my alpha, or hers, and so I knew this must be done.
Axil mumbled under his breath and I felt a sharp sudden squeezing at my heart, Eliza gasped and I knew she’d felt it too. I looked at Axil and his brows were drawn into a knot at the center of his forehead. He mumbled words under his breath and again I felt that pain in my heart but Eliza was still there. I felt her strength and innocence.
Axil released a shaky breath and then stared at me. “Your bond is too strong. I can’t take her back.”
Eliza had this resigned look on her face but I felt horrified by the whole thing. It was just proof that we were family now.
“Will you give us a moment?” I asked her.
She nodded, squeezing my shoulder as she passed. “I’ll go see my parents and sister one last time and then meet you in the ring.”
Bile rose in my throat at that and then she left. The second the door closed, I rushed into Axil’s space. “I can’t, Axil. I won’t. I love you but I can’t kill her.”
He swallowed hard, nodding. “She’s going to forfeit.”
I froze. “How did you know?”
“She came to me late last night and told me.” He looked sick as well. “And I haven’t slept since. I never expected her to make it this far to be honest. You made her stronger, you turned her into a tough contender.”
I did. I prolonged the inevitable. Stupid me.
“Can you … I don’t know, talk to the advisors? Axil, she’s my packmate, the trials are supposed to be one woman from each pack.”
He wouldn’t meet my gaze, he was staring at his plate of food. “I tried. An hour ago. They said the strongest woman must be queen and that’s why the trials were designed this way. The people will accept nothing less.”
I reached up and rubbed the back of my neck. “What if you call off the trial? Don’t get married.” I suddenly blurted out. “I don’t need to be queen, I can just be your lover, in secret—”
He pulled me into his arms then and my throat tightened. “They will not let me remain king without a queen and eventually an heir.”
Right. The bloodline must go on.
I let him hold me, releasing all the tension I was carrying since Eliza and I had killed Ivanna and Charlize. Either way, no matter how you sliced it, Eliza or I were going to die today.
“Can you make it a law that you can forfeit but still keep your life?”
Axil looked at me as if I were a small child. “That is the law. It’s the people who have taken it upon themselves to kill a pack member for forfeiting.”
I felt trapped.
Pulling back from him, I finally forced him to meet my gaze. “Tell me what to do,” I begged.
Let her forfeit? Should I forfeit? Try to run and let the guards kill me? I just needed someone else to make the decision for me, to take away the burden.
He frowned. “You really love her, don’t you? Like a sister?”
I nodded. “I never should have befriended her. But it’s too late now. And she saved my life out there in the dead lands. She’s so loyal and innocent—”
He reached up and traced my bottom lip, stopping my words. “I’m selfish. I want you as my wife and queen, so do not ask me what you should do. I will disappoint you.”
I frowned at that but appreciated the honesty.
Reaching out, he traced my jawline with his finger. “Do what you can live with and I will make sure we are together.”
I chewed my lip. How could he make sure we were together if I forfeited and then got ripped apart by my pack? He was daydreaming about a scenario that didn’t exist.
I knew I had to get out of there and yet I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Axil. I wished we’d had more time, more kisses, more everything.
Because as much as I loved Axil and wanted to be with him, there was no way in Hades I was letting Eliza die on my account. I would forfeit, the crowd would tear me apart and Eliza would be queen. Would Axil love her like he loved me? No. Not at first, but I hoped they could grow to love each other in their own way and offer companionship.
There were no words for this situation so I let my body do the talking. Reaching up, I grasped Axil’s chin and pulled his mouth to mine. His body immediately responded and his fingers clutched my hips, pressing me tightly to him. My mouth opened as his tongue slid across mine and my heart actually ached in this moment. Kissing Axil was like breathing and I didn’t know how I had gone so long without it, without him. My inner fifteen-year-old lovesick little teenager had secretly prayed for this moment. For our reunification, and now … it was over.
A single tear slipped down my cheek and landed on our locked lips, tracing our kiss and sealing it forever.
He stiffened then.
He knew.
He knew what my choice would be.
Pulling back, I kissed his nose and gave him a weak smile. “I love you, Axil Moon. Now. Forever. Always,” I said and then I stepped back, his hands falling away from me as his face went slack. I couldn’t look at him anymore and so I turned and left the room, walking away from him like he walked away from me when I was fifteen.
