Of course, this is the exact situation I should have expected to find myself in. Even though I’m the middle child, I always expected that I would be the last one of my siblings to get married. I never quite fit in with the way they live their lives and I’ve always been a little different than the rest of them. My mother always seemed to be accepting of it, but over the past few years, she’s really put on the pressure for me to settle down with someone.
I know she knows how important hockey is and how it will always come first. I also know that after her breast cancer diagnosis last year, she has wanted to speed up everything in her children’s lives. I’m sure there’s a weird sense of being reminded of her mortality.
Thankfully, she was able to have a double mastectomy and undergo chemotherapy in an effort to stop any other possible cancer cells in her body. The doctors are hoping that she is in remission, but there’s a part of her that doesn’t think she’s going to make it out alive. And that has been the reason why she’s pushing so hard for everyone to speed things up in their lives.
Even though she’s only in her fifties, she’s terrified she won’t see all of her children get married. She won’t get to see her grandchildren. My mother knows how I am; she knows I don’t seriously date anyone. I may have in high school, but that didn’t really count. Now, she’s been pushing so hard and constantly questioning me on why I’m still single.
I’ve tried to ignore her, but she just won’t let it go. Literally over the past year, since she was diagnosed, my two older sisters got married and now my little brother is getting married later this month. Which leaves me as the one who gets to be the disappointment. The one kid who doesn’t have anyone, who would rather be alone and just focus on the life that I’m trying to build around hockey.
My parents were supportive—they still are—but my mother wants me to experience other things in life. Even though by going to the professional league I will be set for the rest of my life, none of that matters. And that’s easy for her to say. She and my father have already built a life together, so she doesn’t have to worry about how she will pay the bills or take care of herself.
And there’s a part of her that doesn’t want me to worry about those things either, but I’m not going to rely on my parents. Not at twenty-one years old. I haven’t lived with them in almost three years, I’m not going back to that life now.
I barely even pay attention during any of my classes today, because my brain is so focused on the messages my mother sent me this morning. She’s asking if I’m bringing a plus-one to the wedding. And the truth is, no… I don’t have a date. I didn’t have any plans to find one, but now the pressure is on.
The last thing I want to do is disappoint my mother.
So, it looks like I’m finding a fake girlfriend to take to my brother’s wedding.
