Was it smart to go off alone with Fenris? Probably not. But I knew it wouldn’t be smart to stay with the others, either.
I followed him deeper into the cave system through another tight opening. Again, the light faded, and I had to reach out to keep my hand lightly on Fenris’s back.
Touching him was a little easier than him touching me. But only because I was keeping the contact to a bare minimum. We walked a long while. In the dark, my hearing was more acute. The scrape of our feet along the path was the loudest noise for a while. And my breathing. Then, I heard the burble of water. That sound grew, along with the heat, then both faded again.
Twice more, we passed pools before Fenris stopped.
“Stay right there,” Fenris said.
I waited until another torch flamed to life.
“How do they light when everything is so wet in here?” I asked.
“We got special torches from some druids. They always light and never burn down.”
I looked around this smaller opening in the cave. Right alongside the path, there was a pool big enough for about four people.
“Get in,” he said.
“What? No way. I really don’t want to swim.”
He grinned and walked to the edge of the pool, lowering himself into the water. I watched him extend his arms along the edges so he was taking up a third of the space.
“There’s not enough room to swim. This is soaking with a purpose. The waters are hot and full of minerals. Good for the body and the mind. If you were any more stressed out, you’d supernova.”
The water tempted me. A lot. I glanced back at the way we’d come. The tunnel was dark.
“You’re far enough away from Ashlyn that you won’t sense her.”
I looked at him.
“And we’ve already established that I’m mostly immune to you.”
“Mostly?”
“I didn’t want it to sound like a challenge if I said I was fully immune to you.”
I grinned, considering him. He’d proven I could trust him. Sure, he did some things that worried me occasionally, but he respected my wishes whenever I voiced them. And, he was right. He did seem to be mostly immune to me.
“What if you’re not?” I asked, tempted but still too worried to risk him.
“What if getting into this water is just the thing you need to melt away everything troubling you? What if this is the soak that changes your life for the better?”
I snorted a laugh at his hopeful thinking. He was right, though, about the “what ifs.” There were so many possibilities it was impossible to know what might be. Fearing the unknown was holding me back from what I really wanted in this moment. And that was relaxing in the pool.
Taking a calming breath, I stepped to the edge of the pool and stuck my foot in the water. It was hot. Almost uncomfortably so. But once the sting faded, it felt wonderful.
Fenris watched me lower myself into the water, a crooked grin tugging his lips.
Settling with a sigh, I let my legs float in the vacant space beneath me and leaned my head against the ledge to anchor myself.
“This is amazing,” I said, feeling all of my tension melt away.
With the humidity and heavy minerals, it was hard to smell Fenris’s typical lust-laced scent. Which meant no temptation. I closed my eyes and just relaxed.
Everything from the last few days faded. My mind didn’t wander, it just went blank.
“I love this place,” I said.
“Me, too.”
Fenris’s tone stroked the hunger in my stomach.
“No talking,” I said.
He chuckled. My hunger still stirred, and I wrinkled my nose. Instead of saying anything, I lifted a foot to poke him in the ribs with a toe.
He caught my foot and started rubbing it. I groaned, feeling real bliss. I never wanted to leave. I wanted to live in the hot springs forever. If I stayed long enough, maybe everyone would think I was a cave troll and not a succubus. Then, they would leave me alone.
I smiled at the thought.
“I like it when you smile,” Fenris said. “Give me the other foot.”
I willingly surrendered it.
“I like it when you’re relaxed, too,” he added.
His fingers kneaded the arch of my foot then worked their way to the ankle. When he started in on my calf, I sighed contentedly.
“I think we might need to take a break,” he said, rubbing behind my knee.
I made a sad face without opening my eyes.
“You need to stop thinking so much,” I said.
He chuckled, and his fingers touched my cheek.
“Now I know you’ve had enough. Come on, linguine, let’s get you out of the water before you go past al dente.”
I snickered at his joke and wrapped my arms around his neck when he picked me up.
“Open your eyes, Eliana.”
Listening, I looked up at him as he stepped out of the pool with me. There was a tender look in his brown eyes. I liked seeing it there. For me. It told me that he really cared. Not the pretend kind of caring that Adira and Mrs. Quill had. Or the forceful caring that Mom had. Fenris didn’t want to see me hurt or suffering.
I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek.
“Thank you for caring,” I said.
“Always, beautiful. Let’s cool you off a little.”
He set me on the smooth stone path and sat beside me. The rock began to leech away the water’s warmth and breathing got a little easier. My face started sweating, though. Grabbing the end of my shirt, I lifted it up to wipe away the sweat.
“What is that?” Fenris said.
His fingers touched my stomach and traced their way to the edge of my underwear.
I glanced down, seeing his tanned fingers on my pale skin rather than the glowing line. My insides went molten, and hunger surged forward. I turned to Fenris.
Lightning fast, I had him on the floor and was straddling his torso. With one hand braced on his chest to pin him in place, I took his hand and flattened it over my stomach.
“That is yours,” I said. “If you dare to take it.”
I found myself pinned underneath him. He had my hands restrained against the floor over my head with his legs weighing down mine. I tried to pull myself free, but I couldn’t.
“Don’t fight, Eliana,” he said. “Breathe. Feel the stone under you. The coolness of it.”
It was his earnest expression along with the temperature of the smooth rock underneath me that brought back a semblance of clarity.
I blinked my eyes, pushing back the hunger.
The crooked, teasing smile returned to its usual place on his lips, melting away his worry. But I’d seen it. His fear. I closed my eyes and turned my head.
“Please get off me,” I said, struggling not to cry.
“Hey, no being mad at yourself,” he said.
“Mad?” I snorted. “I’m disgusted with myself. You were being nice, and I—”
I swallowed hard, and a tear escaped from the corner of my eye.
“Don’t cry,” he said.
His weight lifted, and he grabbed me, settling me in his lap before I could get away. Tucked against his chest, I focused on the beat of his heart and tried not to give in to all the tears fighting to get free.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said, resting his chin on top of my head. “I only stopped you because I thought you’d be upset if you went through with it.”
I jerked my head up and stared at him.
“You think?”
His crooked grin looked a little tormented.
“There was no right move for me back there. I went with the option I thought you’d want once you cooled off.”
He’d been thinking of me. Again.
“You did make the best choice. I’m just sorry you had to make any choice.” I climbed off his lap and tugged my shirt back into place. “I shouldn’t have come here.”
“I disagree.”
He patted the spot beside him.
“Let’s give you more time to cool off before we join the others.”
He was right. I could still feel the hunger crawling under my skin. The last thing I wanted to do was unintentionally tempt Ashlyn. I sat beside him, shifting around to find a comfortable spot on the rocks.
“So, about that glowing stripe down your middle. Want to tell me about it?” he asked.
“Not really.”
“It smells like the brownie.”
“Because it’s from the brownie.”
He tilted his head at me, his grin widening.
“His explosion? His very first magic dust that marked you for life?”
I groaned.
“I’m just repeating what Marshal said. I didn’t fully understand the conversation in the marshes, but now I do. It’s cute.”
“Cute’s the last thing it is,” I said.
“Show me again.”
“No. My mark of shame will remain forever hidden.”
Fenris snorted a laugh.
“Mark of shame? It’s not your shame but his. He obviously missed by a long shot because the line starts under your bra.”
“I really hope it’s not there for life.”
“I really hope the smell fades.”
I groaned again and made a pained face.
“It’s not that bad, I promise.”
Fenris’s name faintly echoed down the tunnel.
“Come on. I think the girls are done.”
He extinguished the torch, and his fingers laced through mine.
I followed him through the dark, appreciating the irony of the moment. Without Fenris, I would have been lost.
I used every kind of body wash I owned the next morning to try to scrub Piepen’s mark from my skin. It didn’t fade. Not even a little. I hoped all the washing would at least help with whatever Fenris could smell.
While wrapped in nothing but a towel, I walked from my bathroom, enjoying the freedom of dressing not only in private but also in whatever I wanted. After last night’s chilly walk through the trees, I wasn’t in the mood for any type of skirt.
Dressed in jeans and a brightly colored top, I slipped on a neutral pair of flats then returned to the bathroom. I took the time to style my hair in soft curls but skipped the makeup. It’d be nice to have a normal day at school. Well, semi-normal.
A cool breeze tickled my skin, and I saw the bathroom window was cracked open just a bit. With Piepen around, most of my windows had been opened at one point or another. I closed it, remembering all that had happened yesterday.
Taking a last look at myself, I weighed the wisdom of my decision to use the druids to remove my mom. It was rash and dangerous. But, mostly, just for me. And that’s exactly why I needed to do it. Adira and Mom thought I was incapable of embracing the non-human side of my nature. Having the druids cast a spell to get my mom out of Uttira was me embracing my succubus side in the way I was willing to embrace it. None of that made the decision any easier. I loved my mom. If only she didn’t have to be so…her.
I left my room and knocked on Mom’s door. I couldn’t cast her out without saying goodbye. However, there was no answer. Easing it open, I glanced at the bodies that lay in sprawled tangles on the bed and floor.
“Mom?” I called softly.
One of the men lifted his head.
“Tell her I need her,” he said tiredly. “I ache for her. I need to please her and hear her sweet cries of pleasure.”
I looked at him with pity.
“I’ll tell her,” I said. “Go back to sleep so you’re ready for her when she returns.”
He nodded and rested his head back on the woman’s thigh.
Leaving them, I went downstairs and found Mom sipping coffee in the dining room. She gave me a small smile as I joined her at the table.
“I thought I might need to corner you this morning to get you to talk to me after yesterday.”
“No. I think I’ve been cornered enough, don’t you?”
“You came home pretty late last night. Did you do anything interesting?”
“I hung out with some friends. You know, healthy socializing.”
“That’s great, darling. You look a bit more energized this morning. Did you feed while you were out?”
The memory of last night’s dream rose to mind. I’d gorged on cakes in the woods again. I highly doubted that Mom would count that as feeding, though.
“Speaking of feeding,” I said without answering her, “one of your humans is aching for you. He could barely keep his eyes open as he begged me to find you and ask you to return to him.”
“Don’t worry. I told Anwen they were almost used up. She’ll find me some replacements today. This batch will be mind-wiped and returned to their lives.”
My stomach turned at the thought. They’d go back to their lives but always feel like something was missing. They’d crave what they couldn’t even remember. I didn’t see how that was any better than what she’d done to my dad.
“I love you, Mom. I just wanted you to know that,” I said, standing.
“I love you too, baby. Everything I’m doing is because of just how much I love you. Do you want something to eat before you go?”
She slid a plate I hadn’t noticed toward me. I glanced at the large slice of triple chocolate cake and shook my head.
“Thanks, but I’m not really hungry. I better get going. I want to get to school early.”
I went to the kitchen and made myself a quick sandwich for later then headed out the door.
The pool was quiet when I entered the room and started across the tile. The humidity reminded me of the hot springs. Leaving the caves hadn’t been as fun as going to them. With wet hair and damp skin, it had been a trial to redress in the cold. My teeth had been chattering by the time I’d gotten my jeans up. Fenris had to help me with the button, but he hadn’t lingered or commented about my glowing line. I’d seen his amusement, though.
He and Jenna had both offered to carry me back. But not trusting myself, I’d walked on my own. Overall, it’d been fun. And relaxing. It was definitely something I wouldn’t mind trying again. Alone.
Drawing close to the bathroom door, all my tension returned. Doubt and fear pulled at me. Was I doing the right thing? I thought of the man in my mom’s room. If I didn’t stand up for what I wanted, how long would it be until I had an exhausted group of people in my bed?
The druids looked up from their places on the floor when I entered. Ashlyn, who stood near the side, slightly hidden by the paper towel dispenser, waved at me.
“Perfect timing,” the leader said. “We just finished setting everything up.”
They’d drawn a circle of runes on the floor. I recognized a few of the gods’ symbols but nothing else. Just outside the runes, there were several bowls that held different objects. One looked like a bowl full of ash. I hoped it wasn’t human remains.
“What do you need me to do?” I asked.
“You and the human should stand off to the side.”
“Ashlyn,” I said. “Her name is Ashlyn.”
“Great. This is Meg—,” she pointed to thick hair, “—Anne—,” she indicated glitter makeup, “and I’m Lauv. We’ll do the spell, and when I point to you, you’ll need to speak your mother’s name. That’s it. Nothing to it.”
“How many times have you successfully performed this spell?” Ashlyn asked.
“More than a dozen times inside the barrier. Finding volunteers with a mark to travel outside the barrier is a little harder.”
“So never?” Ashlyn pressed.
“The spell is the same,” Lauv said. “It’s just the location that changes. Are you changing your mind?”
Ashlyn and Lauv both looked at me.
“No. I’m not changing my mind.”
“Good. Ashlyn, you’re heavier than Eliana. Go stand against the door so no one interrupts.”
Ashlyn moved past me, but not before giving me a warning look. That she was against what we were about to do was clear. That she was still here for me despite that fact said a lot.
I took her spot by the paper towel dispenser and waited.
The trio of druids positioned themselves so they were cross-legged, knee to knee within the circle. Lauv took a larger, empty metal bowl and set it in the center. Anne grabbed a handful of small twigs from outside the circle and placed it inside the empty bowl, starting a fire with a single word.
They began chanting and speaking syllables that didn’t make sense to me. As they spoke, they added objects to the flames so that the color changed from orange to red to purple then blue.
Then the chanting stopped, and Lauv nodded at me.
“Wait, put the ash in,” Meg said.
“The hell? Shut up,” Anne hissed.
Meg grabbed the ash and tossed it into the flames. There was a burst of light, and Lauv gestured at me again.
“Nicolette Lynn Barchim,” I said quickly.
All three stared at the flames for several seconds.
“It should have flared again, shouldn’t it?” Meg asked.
“Who knows,” Anne said. “You opened your noisemaker when you weren’t supposed to. You know how exact these things are.”
“So it didn’t work?” I asked.
Lauv shrugged.
“We won’t know until we know, you know?”
I wanted to roll my eyes at her. Instead, I looked at Ashlyn to see what she thought. However, the space by the door was empty.
“Where did Ashlyn go?” I asked, looking around the bathroom.
“She probably bailed when the flames started turning colors,” Lauv said. “Most humans don’t like magic. Weirds them out.”
“She was born and raised here. I doubt she was weirded out,” I said, already sending her a text asking where she was. “How do we know if the spell worked?”
“Call your mom,” Anne said.
“Don’t be stupid,” Meg said. “If she calls her mom just after her mom is transported, her mom is going to know it was her.”
“You’ll find out when you go home tonight,” Lauv said. “Until then, play it cool and don’t acknowledge us if you see us in the hallways. Got it?”
“Yeah, sure.”
I left the bathroom while they were still cleaning up the remnants of the spell. There were more mermaids in the pool now, but none of them paid me any attention as I hurried away.
The halls were only slightly crowded as I made my way to the first-hour session. A few people gave me disappointed looks, but no one commented on my clothes or lack of makeup. I’d never been more grateful to resume my unremarkable existence.
Sliding into my chair, I waited for Lucas to begin the Human Studies lecture. Yet, it was hard to remain focused on his words once he started. My mind kept going to Mom, wondering if she was standing outside the barrier in her robe. I hadn’t thought about that and hoped she wasn’t cold. Surely, the liaison would notice her on her rounds and give her a ride somewhere. What if the liaison reported what happened to the Council and the Council invited Mom back in?
I wanted to groan and hoped that wouldn’t happen. It would unlock a new level of hell in my life. There’d be an investigation. I’d have to come forward just to protect the druids. I should have listened to Ashlyn.
No. I’d done the right thing.
My mind went back and forth the remainder of the hour. When the bell rang, I was the first one to escape the room. I needed to talk to Ashlyn.
However, when I entered the self-paced study’s room, Ashlyn wasn’t there.
Yanet was, though. She watched me enter with a slight look of disappointment.
“I made you something,” she said, reaching into her pocket. She withdrew a diamond ring.
“I can’t take that, Yanet.”
“I know. Just thought I’d show it to you in case you wanted to go home and put something nicer on.”
“Um, no. I think I’ll stay like this. Thanks.”
Her gaze swept me head to toe, and she stuffed the ring back into her pocket. It was almost laughable if it wasn’t so sad. Her attitude wasn’t solely the fault of the clothes and makeup I’d been forced to wear. A good portion of what she’d felt had been from me. My natural lure had kicked in with the right clothes. The same lure that should have kicked in last night when I’d been with Fenris. Was he actually immune?
The bell rang, and I turned to the front of the room.
Ashlyn still wasn’t there.
A thread of worry wormed its way into my middle and only grew as the minutes slowly ticked by without any word from Ashlyn. I needed to talk to those druids and figure out what they’d done. Ashlyn didn’t just not show up. Okay, she’d done it once, but she’d left a note that time.
I could feel my panic spiraling, and I was once again the first one out of the room when the bell rang. I jogged through the halls, threading my way through my peers while looking for any of the three druids. The halls started to clear without any sign of them.
Ignoring the bell, I went back to the pool bathroom. It was empty. I hurried out, ignoring the heckling calls of the mermaids, and went to my third-hour session, unsure what to do.
I opened the door to a nearly empty room. Fenris straightened in his chair at the sight of me.
“Didn’t think you were going to show,” he said.
“What? Why?” I asked. Could he smell the smoke on me? Did he know what I had done?
He grinned.
“Relax. Your heart is going to jackrabbit right out of your ribcage. Last night was no big deal, and I’m glad you’re not avoiding me because of it.”
“Right. Last night.”
I realized he was talking about how I’d almost fed from him and quickly took my seat.
“So, what are we supposed to be doing today?” I asked, changing the subject.
He shrugged.
“Discovering ourselves, I guess. How are you feeling? You look a little flushed.”
“I’m fine. How are you?”
He leaned back in his chair and considered me.
“What’s going on? You weren’t this tense even before the hot springs.” He started to look troubled. “Did something happen that you didn’t want to happen? Something we should talk about?”
I swallowed hard against the fear squeezing my throat.
He knew.
