No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t focus on human biology. My mind kept going back to werewolf biology and how good Fenris had smelled. Spice cake wasn’t right. His scent was so much more. A combination of every human food I’d ever loved times ten. And, that heady aroma had only grown more potent as I’d stood there frozen in his arms. Even now, I could catch hints of his scent in my hair, which was pressed to my nose in an effort to inhale every last bit of him.
I dropped my hair and struggled to read the words on my tablet. With only a handful of lessons left in my independent studies, I should have been racing to finish so I could use the second session as a free period. Yet, there I was sniffing my hair like a new succubus. Idiot.
Shifting in my seat, I looked around the room to see if anyone had noticed my momentary slip. It was unlikely, given that there were only a handful of students present. Most of our kind didn’t go far into human education since they had no desire to go to college. Some of us, usually those who’d grown up in the real world, still clung to the idea that college was a good thing. I wasn’t so sure anymore because I feared what I might turn into in a college setting.
Ashlyn, a human who’d been in Uttira her whole life, glanced up from her book and caught me looking around. Her role as tutor was still fairly new, but I’d hung out with her a few times before she’d decided to come to school. While I considered her a friend, we definitely weren’t as close as Megan and I were. It was hard to let myself get too close to someone my biology wanted me to use as a food source.
“Having trouble?” Ashlyn asked.
“Not with the material,” I said.
Someone in the room snickered, but I couldn’t be sure who.
Sympathy filled Ashlyn’s gaze.
“You should hang out with us at lunch,” she said. “We can talk more then.”
Having lost my usual lunch companions, Oanen and Megan, yesterday, I was grateful for the offer until someone said, “Hell, yeah. Succubus snacktime.”
Dropping my gaze before my hunger could react, I focused on my tablet for the rest of the session. When I would have escaped at the bell, Ashlyn caught my arm.
“Seriously, Eliana. Don’t eat alone. I know what that kind of seclusion can do. Join us. You don’t have to talk or even eat. Just don’t be alone.”
Ashlyn, more than anyone else, understood true loneliness. The concern in her eyes had me nodding even as I questioned the wisdom of hanging out with the humans on a day when I was so hungry.
She smiled at my agreement and dropped her hand.
“Meet us by the pool after the bell.”
“The pool? Are you sure that’s smart?”
“Yeah. It’s good practice for the new humans. We’ll be there to keep an eye on them.”
I knew she was only trying to help the other humans who’d arrived at Uttira a short time ago, but I hated the idea of placing them so close to something so dangerous.
Ashlyn caught my hesitancy.
“It’ll be fine, Eliana. I’ve invited a few other people I think we can trust to help keep an eye on them. And remember, no one can die in school.”
I kept my mouth shut and nodded. Why did everyone think the worst thing to happen to them would be death?
With a heavy heart, I left the self-study room and went to my next session. Self-discovery was as woo-woo as it seemed. Instead of providing us with real information about what we were and why we had the instincts we had and how to curb them, we were taught how to “look inside” and to “embrace our differences” and a bunch of other nonsense that made me want to run screaming from the room.
The next class was marginally better, but only because I had to endure it every other day instead of every day. At best, General Living Studies was a mind-numbing experience since I’d grown up in the human world. However, it was required curriculum. So, for the next hour, I listened to a troll complain about the limitations on food diversity—he wanted human bone dust on his pizza—and a mermaid ask if eating human toes would be okay if the human lived.
My stomach was squeamish by the time the bell rang, and my doubts about having lunch near the pool had grown. Still, I grabbed my lunch and made my way toward the indoor pool.
The sirens’ songs teased my ears as I drew closer. The melody wasn’t bad. It just didn’t do anything for me, not like it would for the humans. While I knew I was immune, I also knew that not all creatures were. Though I wasn’t positive, I was pretty sure their songs had gotten to Oanen and Megan once. I hoped Ashlyn had selected her help wisely.
Through the windows to the pool room, I watched the mermaids and sirens swim and dive in the myriad of connecting pools. There were freshwater swimming areas, waterfall features, pretend boats, and rocky outcroppings for preening. Several of the females were topless.
If Eugene thought my jeans and heels looked good, he wouldn’t stand a chance in there.
I opened the door and breathed in the scent of the minerals in the water. It was the only redeeming quality for the enormous space. With the irony scent clogging my nose, I didn’t smell much else.
“Over here,” Ashlyn called. She had moved a table near the edge of one of the pools. Eugene, Kelsey, and Zoe were already sitting and unpacking their food.
Eugene gave me a quick smile and made room for me while Ashlyn explained the risks of the pool.
“The most dangerous types of creatures you will encounter near the water are mermaids and sirens. However, there are many, many more that might also pose a threat. Be sure you read the books I’ve recommended to become familiar with all of them and their lures. For now, we’ll focus on resisting siren song and mermaid trickery.”
“Trickery?” a mermaid said, giggling near the edge of the pool. “You’re making me blush, Ashlyn. Come here and give me a hug.”
A siren rose from the water beside her and started singing.
Ashlyn poked her ear and looked at me. It wasn’t until then that I noticed they all wore earbuds and had their phones out.
“We’re on a group call and have earbuds that reduce background noise. Reduces, not mutes. Keep an eye on us.”
I nodded and started unpacking my lunch. My stomach rumbled when I pulled out the sandwich, but I knew the food I’d packed wouldn’t touch my real hunger. Despite the mineral smell, the faint scent of lust tickled my nose. I glanced at Eugene and found him staring at a pair of mermaid boobs.
Elbowing his side to get his attention, I shook my head.
“They use their bodies as lures,” I said loudly. “Then they’ll talk to you, either nicely or tauntingly, to try to get you close enough to the water’s edge where they can grab you and pull you under.”
“Hear that, Stacey?” one mermaid said. “The succubus is saying we use our bodies to lure men when she’s sitting there in her painted-on jeans and hooker heels. Kettle-pot, much?”
Laughter rose from the water.
I flushed but didn’t acknowledge her words.
“The key is ignoring them,” I said to Eugene.
His gaze kept flicking to my mouth. My brain knew he was trying to understand what I was saying…that he was probably subconsciously reading my lips, but my hunger went another direction. It whispered that he wanted me. That he would kiss me and his lust would satisfy my hunger. His touch would soothe my aches and fill me. He would be mine. All I needed to do was—
“Sorry I’m late,” Fenris said, sitting at the table across from me.
I jerked back, realizing I’d been leaning toward Eugene, who was staring at me wide-eyed.
“Sorry,” I mumbled before dropping my gaze to my sandwich. With startling clarity, I could see each tiny air pocket in the bread.
Embarrassment consumed me, flushing my face and spreading heat right to my toes. I hadn’t even noticed the change happen. I’d just turned into a monster right in front of my friends.
Locked in self-loathing, I didn’t hear what was being said until someone kicked me under the table.
“You okay?” Ashlyn asked.
“Yep. Fine,” I said without looking up. I took a quick bite of my sandwich so I wouldn’t need to say anything else.
Beside me, Eugene shifted in his seat and bumped against me. I kept my eyes on my sandwich.
“Your real eyes are pretty cool,” he said, leaning toward my ear. “You didn’t scare me. I trust you.”
His words were meant as a comfort. Instead, his exhale was tickling my neck and making my hunger worse. That and Fenris’s constant aroma of spiced cake lust were enough to drive any sane succubus crazy.
“Let’s focus on the mermaids,” Ashlyn said, saving me.
“Yes! Focus on us,” one of the girls in the water called. “Eliana’s skin and bones. I have curves that will fill your hand. Take a peek.”
I rolled my eyes, tired of the constant judgment regarding my weight, and took another bite of my sandwich.
Eugene shifted beside me again as Ashlyn continued her lesson.
“Like Eliana said, the best way to deal with mermaids is ignoring them and keeping your distance when they’re in the water. They use their natural environment to confuse and subdue their prey.”
“Prey? That’s such a harsh word,” one of the mermaids said. “I prefer the phrase short-term lover.”
“When they are on land, they aren’t much of a threat because they’re weaker and less agile with legs,” Ashlyn said without pause, causing a flurry of hisses and curses from the water.
“I’ll show you weaker, mouth breather. Come say that to my face.”
“They like to act angry to goad their prey into arguments or play on your other emotions to induce pity. No matter what they say or do, keep away from the water. Got it?”
The trio of new humans was silent so long that I glanced up. Kelsey and Zoe, orphaned sisters from New York, were about my age. Neither of the brunettes looked up, but I caught Kelsey’s nod beside Fenris as his gaze locked with mine.
“You okay?” he mouthed.
I gave a small smile and nod and told myself I was lucky to have such an amazing group of friends. Even if none of them actually knew the real me. That thought just brought back Eugene’s comment about my real eyes.
I nudged him to catch his attention and leaned closer.
“They aren’t my real eyes,” I said.
“What?” Eugene asked, turning his head to look at me.
“My real eyes are my brown ones.”
He frowned, and before I could stop him, he pulled the earplug from his ear. Several sirens immediately started to sing. I watched his eyes glaze over.
I grabbed for his earbud to shove it back in his ear but missed when he turned his head toward the water. He leaned in his seat, teetering toward the pool. I grabbed for his shirt, my hold barely there as three mermaids surged up from the water and grabbed him.
He was gone in seconds.
I dove in after him. The water churned with the number of mermaids and sirens that surrounded us. Eugene was pulled away from me. I fought to get to him, but they tugged my hair and clawed my face, trying to keep me from him.
Something inside me snapped. My vision sharpened, showing me a galaxy of tiny bubbles reflecting light within the water. The beauty didn’t distract me from my purpose, though.
The next mermaid to reach for me got my full attention.
“Kneel before me, mermaid,” I mouthed underwater.
Her eyes went wide as her fins disappeared, replaced by feet. She started to sink even as her arms flailed to bring her to the surface.
My gaze swung to the cluster of mermaids and sirens fighting for Eugene.
“You will all kneel before me,” I mouthed.
They shifted from fins to feet and began to sink the same as the first one had, leaving Eugene floating unconscious in the water. I swam to him and wrapped my arms around him to bring him to the surface.
He didn’t gasp for air when our heads cleared the water.
“Eugene?” I said, tapping his face. He couldn’t die. Not like this. Not in the pool.
I barely had that thought when he gave a watery cough. Water gushed from his mouth, and he started treading water. His eyes met mine.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Yep. Stay away from the water. Got it.”
I grinned.
His eyes dipped to my mouth.
Before I could think, I had my legs wrapped around his waist. He continued to tread water for both of us as my hand pressed against his chest just over his rapidly beating heart. The way he looked at me, full of need and desire, and the way the sweet scent of his lust filled my nose made my head swim with giddy anticipation. He was almost mine. I could feel it.
“Tell me you want me,” I said, my mouth an inch from his.
His shaky exhale warmed my lips. I could already taste him.
“I want you, Eliana. I want you so much it hurts to breathe.”
His words smothered my raging hunger. Detangling myself from him, I pointed toward the edge of the pool where the others were waiting.
“Go, Eugene. Before the mermaids get their tails back.”
“But…” He looked at me with a longing that made me sick with regret and shame.
“I’m dangerous, too, Eugene,” I said softly. “And I’m trying to save you. Please. Get out of the water.”
“Come on, Eugene,” Fenris called. “Swim or I’m going to need to jump in there, too, and no one wants to smell wet dog for the rest of the day.”
Some of the remaining daze left Eugene’s eyes, and he gave Fenris a quick smile before starting toward the edge of the pool.
I treaded water until he was out then self-consciously swam to the edge. When I glanced back, the mermaids and sirens had their fins once more but didn’t make a move toward me. I could see plenty of hate in their eyes, though. Hate for me because I’d forced my will on them. I’d coerced them like they’d coerced Eugene.
“It doesn’t feel good being manipulated, does it?” I said softly.
A siren flipped me off before swimming to the other side of the pool.
Ignoring the rest, I went to the ladder and climbed out. Fenris was there to offer me a hand.
“Like the shirt,” he said with a wink.
I glanced down, flushed at the sight of my clearly visible bralette, and bolted for the rarely used changing rooms connected to the pool. It wasn’t the secluded haven I’d hoped it would be, though.
In the center of the tiled room, a group of three girls sat around a candle on the floor. One wore large dangling crystal earrings and rings on her fingers inset with different stones. Another had curly dark hair pulled back into a thick ponytail. And the other had the most amazing sparkling eye makeup. They all looked up at my entrance.
“Do you mind?” the one wearing jewelry asked, arching a brow. “We’re in the middle of something here.”
“Sorry,” I mumbled. Still too panicked to think clearly, I grabbed the paper toweling and tried blotting my shirt.
“Pretty sure that’s not going to fix your problem,” the girl with the ponytail said. “Want us to try a drying spell?”
I glanced at the group again and the pink flame of their candle. It finally registered that they were in the middle of practicing magic.
“Thank you for the offer. But, it might be better if I go home for new clothes. I wouldn’t want to get you in trouble.”
“Suit yourself,” the third girl said with a shrug. They joined hands again, and I hurried from the bathroom, almost running into Fenris again.
He held up a white towel.
“Thought you might want this.”
I grabbed the towel and clutched it to my chest.
“Um, can you let Adira know that I needed to run home and change?” I said, backing away. My gaze shifted to Eugene. “And can you keep an eye on them?”
“Sure thing. I’ll keep your lunch for you, too.”
I was in the hall before he said the last word.
Forgetting I was wearing heels, I held the towel to my chest and ran for the exit. Students stepped aside for me, smirking or laughing as they watched my escape.
The heat of my mortification prevented my hair from freezing as I burst outside and fled to my car. The tremble in my hands didn’t make starting the car very easy, and before I put it into reverse, I tried to calm down by looking at things objectively.
Nothing bad had happened. Eugene would shake off the effects of my influence in a few days. The mermaids had gotten what they’d deserved. And Fenris seeing my bralette wasn’t the end of the world. His kind stripped down in front of each other all the time. He’d probably seen a million bras by now.
Yet, knowing all that did nothing to ease my humiliation. I’d almost fed on Eugene. In public. He was supposed to be my friend, not food.
What would my father think of me?
My mom’s words echoed in my mind. “Off limits always tastes best.”
Backing out of my spot, I blasted my music and did my best to forget all of it. However, by the time I reached the Quills’ house, my frame of mind wasn’t any calmer. What had happened hadn’t just upset me. It terrified me. I’d never come so close to unwittingly feeding on someone before. Well, not since the last time I went home to see my dad.
The gaping hole of guilt and regret that had opened inside of me in the pool grew larger at the memory. No one could hate herself as much as I did.
Parking the car in front of the door, I slipped inside the house, removed my shoes, and quietly made my way upstairs. The moment I stepped into my room, I knew that Adira had gotten my message because a new outfit was laid out on my bed. I should have felt relief that it was jeans and a top. Instead, all I felt was dread that I needed to go back to school.
I stripped from the wet clothes and hung them in the bathroom to deal with later. Once I finished toweling off, I dressed in what Adira had set out for me, after adding another shirt, then left my room.
Mrs. Quill was coming up the stairs as I was heading down. From the study on the floor above, I could hear the low murmur of Mr. Quill’s voice.
“You’re home early,” Mrs. Quill said.
“I fell into the pool and needed to change.”
Her gaze swept over me, noting my still wet hair.
“Perhaps you should take another minute to blow dry your hair. I don’t want you to catch a chill.”
I smiled at her. Mrs. Quill cared. Really cared. And I loved her for it even when she went to Adira with her concerns when I wished she wouldn’t.
“I’ll turn up the heat in the car and be fine. I’ll see you at dinner.” I gave a small wave and jogged down the steps in my newly acquired, dry heels. This time, they were black instead of red.
Once I was in the car, though, I paused. I didn’t want to rush back to school and face my fresh humiliation. Yet, I couldn’t stay home or Mrs. Quill would notice. Where could I go? I immediately thought of Megan’s house and remembered my promise to watch for her goblin and brownie. Relieved I had something to distract me, I started the car and headed toward the store for some supplies.
Taking my time, I browsed the aisles as if Uttira’s sole food retailer actually had mouth watering, shove-them-in-my-face items instead of boring healthy options. Once I had the oats, milk, and honey, I reluctantly paid for my items and hauled them back to my car.
Like a good citizen, I drove the exact speed limit, or maybe a little under, to Megan’s rundown, two-story house. Though I’d only known her for a few months, seeing her vacant house dredged up a new pang of loneliness. How could I so deeply miss someone as new to my life as Megan was?
I knew the answer before I had even finished the thought. Megan was the type of person I wished my dad would have been. She didn’t cower to anyone, not even the Council. She certainly wouldn’t have succumbed to my mom.
Shaking those thoughts from my head, I got out of the car and looked at the house’s peeling white paint. The goblin would love this place so long as I remembered to feed him. I wondered if Megan realized what she was about to unleash on her home. Probably not. But, she wouldn’t care what the goblin fixed, either. Like me, she’d lived in Uttira because she’d had to.
Inside, I grabbed a bowl and filled it with the oats and milk, then topped it with honey. I left the mixture on the table along with a note with my address so the brownie and goblin could let me know when they arrived.
Making myself at home, I turned on the TV and stayed there until twenty minutes before the end of the day. I knew Megan wouldn’t mind. Heck, she would have encouraged me to skip the rest of the day. But I couldn’t. I needed to check on Eugene to make sure he was okay.
When I walked back into the Academy, I had just enough time to slip into my last session to be seen. I was surprised to see Eugene at the back of the room, sitting next to my usual spot.
He gave me a quick smile, and I ignored the looks and whispers as I took my seat. I was used to them by now. The weird succubus who wouldn’t feed. The reject. Let them think what they wanted. I’d never be like them. Humans would never be food to me.
As soon as the bell rang, I turned to Eugene.
“You okay?” I asked.
“I’m fine. A little damp, but I didn’t want to go home and miss anything. You okay?”
Guilt hit me hard.
“I almost fed on you, Eugene. Don’t worry for me. Fear me.”
He sighed and shook his head.
“I get what you’re saying and know you’re trying to keep me safe, but you’re not seeing things from my side. You almost fed on me, but you didn’t. You stopped. And, you stopped the mermaids. As far as I’m concerned, you’re not a creature I need to fear. You’re one I need as a friend.” He gave me a questioning look. “So are we good?”
“We’re good. Just don’t be alone with me. Ever. Okay?”
“Sure.”
I knew by that answer he wasn’t taking me seriously.
“I better go,” I said.
Head down, I left the room and started for the parking lot.
“Eliana!”
I recognized the voice and wanted to groan. Fenris was the last person I wanted to see at the moment.
Picking up my pace, I hurried down the hall.
He called my name again, sounding closer. I wrinkled my nose and elbowed a dryad out of my way. Her indignant huff barely registered as I focused on the distant door. I was so close.
A hand settled on my shoulder at the same time Fenris’s scent filled my senses. My vision started to sharpen, and saliva pooled in my mouth.
I needed to feed. Badly.
Afraid for Fenris, I shook free of his hold and ran, bowling people over in my need to get to my car.
As I backed out of my spot, I saw Fenris standing just outside the door, a look of hurt on his face. Far above him, Adira stood at the edge of the Academy’s roof, her gaze shifting from Fenris to me.
For the first time in my life, I spun gravel.
