“Play along,” Fenris said, close to my ear. “Eugene is watching.”
I wrinkled my nose but kept focused on Fenris as he straightened us then pressed close to me.
“While I appreciate what you’re trying to do,” I said softly, knowing Fenris would hear me over the music, “I don’t think this will help. It will only show him I’m open to having a partner.”
Fenris spun me around while his hand molded to the small of my back.
“Not if I get you out the door first.”
His hips brushed against mine. I trembled harder, feeling like I was dying. The hunger demanded to be fed. It demanded Fenris. A taste. A touch. Him over me, panting in—
“Fenris, let me go,” I begged, panicking.
Suddenly, I was outside and alone. I looked at the door as it closed and almost cried.
Fenris had actually listened.
I kicked off my shoes and slogged through the sidewalk slush to my car. My toes stung with the cold by the time I got in. It was a good distraction, but it didn’t subdue my burning need to turn around and feed from every single person in the Roost.
I drove around for an hour before I stopped shaking. It was another hour before my eyes began to flicker back to brown.
Pulling over to the shoulder, I rested my head against my steering wheel in defeat. I’d thought I’d fed from Mrs. Quill enough to take the edge off my hunger. But I couldn’t have been more wrong. I needed more. Yet, if I went to her so soon after the last feeding, she’d tell Adira I wasn’t consuming enough.
I slapped my hand against the steering wheel in frustrated anger then started home.
Trying to ignore the hunger was out of the question. I would need to find Mrs. Quill as soon as I got home, hopefully without attracting any attention. Using the intercom wasn’t an option, just in case Adira was still in the house. I hadn’t yet decided how to approach Mrs. Quill when I walked through the kitchen door.
Hesitating near the kitchen island provided my answer when Mrs. Quill entered the kitchen moments after me. She took one look at my face and rushed to hug me. The contact only made my hunger stronger.
“What happened?” she asked, smoothing a hand over my hair.
“I danced at the Roost. I didn’t know I’d get so hungry so fast.”
She pulled back and looked into my eyes, which I knew were still flickering.
“Was your partner unwilling?”
I knew she didn’t mean an unwilling dance partner. She was asking if my partner hadn’t wanted to feed me.
“I didn’t ask.”
She smiled slightly.
“I think your mother would be pleased to hear you didn’t ask for permission.”
I nodded, glad she wasn’t going to ask the big question. If my partner hadn’t been openly unwilling, why hadn’t I fed?
“Take what you need, Eliana,” Mrs. Quill said without releasing me.
I opened my mouth and fed four times. It was more than I’d ever needed so closely together. Yet, the hunger still wormed impatiently in my belly.
“Better?” she asked when I stopped.
I couldn’t answer because what she wanted was a lie. Instead, I hugged her tightly.
“Thank you for allowing me to stay here and for taking care of me.”
“Always,” she whispered.
For the first time in a long time, I didn’t want to go to school. I dreaded running into Eugene after Fenris’s “help” almost as much as I dreaded seeing Fenris himself. On top of that, I knew I’d need to face an Adira lecture, or worse, for not feeding well enough the day before yesterday. And, as if I wasn’t anxious enough, my hunger was still twisting restlessly inside of me. No doubt it had something to do with the single outfit I’d found in my closet when I was getting ready for school.
The Academy gates swung open for my car, and I slowly eased down the drive, trying not to think about what I wore. My outfit was the reason I knew I’d crossed a line in Adira’s goal to see me feed on someone other than Mrs. Quill. It didn’t matter that I’d already technically done just that at the harvest feast. I shuddered at the memory of that man’s taste.
Adira wanted me feeding regularly from my peers, and that wasn’t going to happen.
Pulling into my usual spot, I turned off the car and zipped up my jacket. I’d sweat like crazy wearing it all day, but there was no way I’d take it off. It was the only safety I had and the only reason I’d even left the house.
However, the moment I opened my car door, Eugene emerged from the building and held up a note.
“It’s not a love letter,” he said hastily, “unless you have a thing for Adira.”
I made a face, and he chuckled.
“I’m sorry about the last few days,” he said, handing me the note. “Ashlyn helped me out last night, and I think I’m good now. You’re nice, but I’m not feeling any urge to find a way to get you to like me. Even as a friend.”
I exhaled in relief.
“How’d she help you?”
Eugene flushed and sheepishly ducked his head. The hint of lust that drifted from him was answer enough.
“Never mind, I really don’t want to know,” I said even as my mind started conjuring images of tangled sheets and sweaty bodies.
“It was just a kiss,” Eugene said, holding up his hands and taking a healthy step back from me.
I closed my eyes quickly.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
He chuckled again.
“You didn’t. I just didn’t want to be an accidental target you’d need to avoid again for days.” When I didn’t open my eyes, he added, “Seriously, Eliana, your eyes are pretty when they go black. With everything I’ve seen and learned since coming here, your eyes are at the bottom of the scary-Uttira-sights-to-see list.”
I peeked at him and saw him standing several feet away, hands in his pockets. He nodded at the letter.
“Adira told me to stick around until you read it. I’m guessing it won’t be good news for either of us, but I want you to know I’m not too worried. If it’s a note saying you need to feed on me, you can tell her I refused. I have Megan on speed dial.”
I smiled at him in relief and unfolded the letter.
Give your jacket to Eugene. No shortcuts.
There wasn’t anything else to the note. Just that. It was enough. No threat was necessary to know I’d pushed her too far.
“I’m supposed to give you my jacket,” I said. “But I need you to close your eyes and hold out your hand. Don’t open them after I hand it over. Just stand here for a few minutes, okay?”
“You got it.”
He closed his eyes and held out his hand. Just to make sure, I walked around him before removing the jacket and handing it over.
“Thanks, Eugene.”
I fled inside before anyone else saw me even though I knew I couldn’t hide forever. The first person I saw, a troll boy just barely old enough to attend the Academy, stopped in his tracks at the sight of my shirt.
“My brother is nuts. This school is great.”
I hurried past him, hoping I wouldn’t accidentally taste his brief infatuation.
The next person, a siren, wolf-whistled at me as her eyes devoured the view.
“Eliana, you need to wear that top every day. The boys are going to be tripping over themselves. Girls, too. And I don’t mind succubus leftovers. No, not at all. Knock ‘em dead, girl.”
I hurried to the first session room and quickly slid into my seat. Belemina was the next person to arrive. She took one look at my misery and took the seat next to mine.
“Did a tampon come with that resting bitch face expression, or is there another occasion you’re celebrating with your braless bad self?”
Not only was I braless, but I was also missing the central part of my shirt. In place of solid material, I had three one-inch bands holding the sides of my silk shirt together. I sunk lower in my chair but refused to cross my arms over my chest.
“Go away, Mina.”
“Not a chance. In fact, I think I have every class with you today.”
I sighed. Thankfully, Belemina’s fascination was only for the spectacle I’d likely make and not because she wanted to worship me. I mentally cringed at the thought and at how many more would be like her.
Adira’s edict was going to mess with a lot of schedules today.
My prediction proved very true when three of my Human Studies classmates followed me to my self-paced studies. Thankfully, Ashlyn turned them away at the door.
“Because of my fragile humanity, only students enrolled in this class are allowed to enter. If you don’t like the rule, take it up with Adira. If you don’t follow the rule and leave, I’ll take it up with Adira and Megan.”
Megan was like Uttira’s very own boogie man with the way her name cleared the room.
Being rid of my excess baggage from the first session didn’t mean I was free from consequence, however. One of the dwarves sat next to me and wouldn’t stop staring at the meager valley between my breasts.
“Yanet, that’s not the first pair of boobs you’ve seen. You have your own,” Ashlyn said.
“Mine aren’t nearly as pretty or soft looking. By Zeus, I want to touch you, Eliana.”
I leaned away from the dwarf teen.
“It would help if you stop staring at them,” I said.
“And, if you wipe the drool from your chin,” Ashlyn added.
Yanet absently wiped at her chin but didn’t look away.
“Sorry, Eliana,” Ashlyn said. “I’m not kissing this one.”
I was more than a little relieved when the bell rang and I could escape to self-discovery. That relief vanished the moment I walked into the crowded hallway. People were waiting for me. Some heckled. Some stared. Some cheered. I didn’t care how they reacted, only that they’d been out there to wait for me.
The succubus side of me preened at the attention of my classmates, and my hunger slithered in my belly. Pushing my way through their number, I made my way to my third-hour session only to stop cold just outside the room as a familiar lustful scent hit me between the eyes.
I looked around for Fenris, trying to decide which way to run, but I didn’t see him. With the crowd growing, I bolted into the room and hoped the majority of students wouldn’t follow me. A few tried, but there was only one open seat in the room. Right next to Fenris.
I momentarily debated running.
“This is an interesting switch up, isn’t it, Eliana?” LuAnn said. “Adira will be so pleased with these results.”
Of course, the teachers knew.
I looked at the empty chair and Fenris’s group of followers, who sat around him in a cluster. Their lust combined with his made my head swim, but it explained why his was so much more potent.
With little choice, I took the only open seat available to me.
Fenris leaned toward me right away. My mouth watered.
“I came as soon as I heard.”
Why did my mind go to dirty things when he said that?
“I thought people you knew would be better than people you didn’t. You okay?”
His simple concern helped me keep a tight hold on my control.
“Not really. I know I’m not supposed to hate anyone, but she’s really making it hard not to.”
He chuckled, not even asking who I meant. There was only one adult who liked making every Uttirian teen miserable. Adira.
“Don’t let her see she’s made you sweat. You’ve got this, Eliana.”
Did his voice just go husky at the end, there? My stomach pitched with delight, and I found myself leaning in. His gaze dipped to my shirt.
“I see why so many people are talking. It’s quite a sight. Do you like the shirt?”
“I like it if you like it.”
I flinched. Why had I said that?
His grin widened.
“Don’t worry, Eliana. I know the real you. You can’t offend me or shock me.”
I snorted.
“How can you know the real me when I don’t even know the real me?” I waved a hand to indicate the room. “If I did, I wouldn’t be here.”
“An astute observation,” LuAnn said. “Perhaps Fenris could use a bit of self-discovery, too. I hear you’re a little late coming into your mate run.”
Fenris flushed, an unusual sight.
I didn’t see what the big deal was about his mate run. Who wanted to be saddled with a wife as a teen? Sure, he’d just turned eighteen, but that was still pretty young in the lifespan of a wolf.
In that moment, I realized both our species were pushed at an early age to be more than we were ready to be.
“Do you want to be my study partner?” I asked him.
One of the girls around us made a whining noise.
“As a friend,” I added quickly.
He looked at each of his girls. One by one, they reluctantly nodded.
“Sure,” he said. “I’d love to.”
I heard that statement for the truth it was. He was desperate for an escape. That was something I understood all too well. It had only taken one mildly attracted Eugene to make me want to hide. I couldn’t imagine constantly being surrounded by people who wanted me to pick them as a partner. And Fenris had been dealing with it for years.
“Perfect,” LuAnn said. “Since both of your issues stem from mating, let’s start with kissing without killing.”
“What?”
While I wasn’t the only one to say it, my voice was the most desperate.
My phone took that moment to ring. I scrambled to grab it out of my purse.
“I gotta get this,” I said, looking at the screen. “It’s Megan.”
I ran from the room before anyone could stop me. Thankfully, the halls were empty as I answered Megan’s call.
“Hey, Megan,” I said breathlessly.
“Hey. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I just ran out of General Living Skills.” I couldn’t believe I’d just lied. It hadn’t been a conscious decision, just a desperate one. I did not want to tell Megan I’d been paired up with Fenris for kissing practice.
“You didn’t need to leave class,” she said. “I could have left a voicemail.”
“Are you kidding? It’s General Living Skills. I know how to live with humans. The class is a waste of my time. What’s up? Why’d you call?”
“I’m hoping you can help me pick out a dress. It’s supposed to be for a super fancy restaurant. Think high class, not hooker.”
I sniggered as I headed for my car. Megan’s call was the perfect excuse to escape.
“Turn on video chat and show me the options.”
She did as I asked and panned the dresses.
“Try the red one, the gold one, and that lavender one. Those colors will look good on you.”
She turned the phone around and shook her head at me.
“Those won’t work. I have a bruise and need something with a higher neckline.”
“Okay. Show me again.”
I picked three different dresses that would cover her neckline and back. When she went to grab them from the racks, I stopped her. I could tell with a glance that those weren’t department store dresses.
“No, you don’t touch the dresses. You wave one of the attendants over. They handle the dresses while showing you to a fitting room. Send me pics of each one, front and back, so I can tell you which works. I better get back to class.”
I’d reached the exit door to the parking lot.
“Thank you,” she said before disconnecting.
I hurried out the door and got in my car, shivering at the chill in the air. I hated lying. It went against everything my father taught me. And the shame I felt at lying to my best friend was even greater. Yet, with everything that Megan was dealing with, I couldn’t tell her my problems. At least, not yet. When she solved the mystery of the troll deaths and came home, then I’d come clean. Deciding that made me feel marginally better.
The first picture from Megan came through before I reached her house. I waited until I pulled into the driveway to look at the dresses. Each one was beautiful on her, just as I’d known they would be. However, of the three she sent me, the rose gold one was the most stunning,
Be sure to pair it with large diamond stud earrings and a soft updo because of the high neckline, I sent.
It didn’t take long for her response.
What exactly does an up do?
You’re hopeless. When you get home, we’re going shopping for a week so I can be assured you’ll not go out looking like a frump.
Frump? When did my grandma get here?
I’m texting Oanen that I need a picture before you walk out the door.
She sent back a laughing face.
With a smile, I got out of my car and let myself into her house. The milk, oats, and honey weren’t that old, but I still changed the concoction out with a fresh batch before making myself comfortable in her living room.
I didn’t feel an ounce of guilt as I wasted away several hours watching TV. I knew in my heart Megan would have cheered me on if I’d told her I’d ditched school and hung out on her couch. When it was close to the time I normally returned to the Quills’, I closed up Megan’s house again and made my way home.
The Quills’ house was unusually quiet when I let myself in through the kitchen. Thanking my luck, I hurried upstairs to my room. My first priority was to check my closet for my cute dresses. If those hadn’t returned, then I would change into some jeans and a new shirt.
Instead of doing either, I stopped just inside my bedroom door and watched Adira turn from the window to face me.
“I’m glad you’re finally home. I hope you used your time wisely and practiced the art of seduction as LuAnn suggested.”
I struggled to form a response that wasn’t a lie.
“You’ll be able to put that practice to use now.” She held out her hand. “Come with me.”
A portal appeared behind her just as her hand closed over mine. With a sickening twist in my stomach, my reality shifted, and I was pulled from my bedroom in Uttira to a bathroom in some club.
I grabbed onto a sink to steady myself. In the mirror, I met Adira’s gaze.
“Take a moment to freshen up,” she said over the thump of music. “I’ll be in the bar area to observe your progress.”
She left me there, disoriented and still clinging to the sink.
It took a moment for my surroundings to really sink in. The faint odor of smoke and alcohol, along with the generic row of sinks and mirrors and floor to ceiling tile with dirty grout lines, told a story of too much partying and very little concern about quality. What kind of place had she brought me to?
I saw the answer when the door opened and three women staggered in, laughing and leaning on each other. Their sparkly tops, light dusting of body glitter, and ample display of cleavage were standard club attire. However, the smeared makeup and drugs they openly traded were not.
I left them to their private party and braved the crowded main room. The scent of lust called to me, leading me to several men who idly watched the dancers on the floor from their places at the bar. Their gazes shifted to me, but I ignored them on my hunt for Adira.
A man stepped in front of me. At over thirty-years-old, his gaze had no business shifting down my top.
“Darling, you’re the stuff my dreams are made of. Tell me what you’re looking for in life, and I’ll make your dreams come true, too.”
“I’m looking for a frost giant currently wearing her human form. She looks normal under regular lighting, but if you can talk to whoever’s in charge and get the black lights turned on, you’ll see something that will blow your mind.”
“It’s not my mind I want blown,” he said, leaning in. “You’re a special kind of crazy, but the pretty ones usually are.” He lifted a hand to touch me.
“The black lights,” I said firmly. “Those come first.”
He grinned.
“You got it, darling.”
He’d barely stepped away from me when Adira appeared from the depths of the crowd.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“Giving you a choice,” I said calmly. “You can take me home now, before the black lights come on and everyone sees you for what you are, or you can continue to try to force me to feed.” Her expression hardened. “Pseudo-choices aren’t very fun, are they?”
She took my hand, and with a nausea-inducing stomach twist, I found myself once more in my bedroom. Alone.
With a sigh, I sat on my bed. I’d played mean with Adira at the club, meaner even than the night I’d threatened her with Megan because of Eugene. I dreaded what Adira would do in retaliation now.
That dread stayed with me as I watched TV then changed for dinner.
As I slowly made my way downstairs, I caught a hint of raised voices coming from Mr. Quill’s office. Changing direction, I went to listen at the open door again.
“Her increasing defiance is a result of Megan’s influence. With Megan’s mother focused on her, we’re free to focus on Eliana. We’re making the right choice, Anwen. Never doubt that.”
I stepped into the room.
“And what choice is that?” I asked.
Mrs. Quill’s expression started to crumble, and Mr. Quill quickly hugged her close. My stomach churned with fear. Adira’s gaze flicked to her distraught sister than settled on me.
“You’ve been coddled too long. As of now, you will no longer feed from Mrs. Quill. Like other succubi your age, you will need to find your own food source. And since you don’t like leaving to hunt for human prey, you’ll need to make do with your peers.”
I stared at her, unable to process what had just happened.
“Perhaps we should discuss this further after dinner,” Mr. Quill said, looking from Adira to me. “Anwen picked up the pizza you love from Chicago.”
“Dinner?” I echoed numbly. They wanted me to eat after telling me I couldn’t eat. I struggled with the irony while reminding myself I wanted to be a good person no matter how others treated me. I didn’t manage to curb all my anger when I spoke, though.
“A succubus doesn’t need human food. I’m going to my room unless I’m no longer welcome there, either.”
Mrs. Quill’s tears cut me as deeply as her abandonment. Hardening my heart to both, I left the room.
