SHE COULDN’T STOP THINKING about what Delton had said last night.
Sitting next to Osric in a pleasure house on the outskirts of the city, she found herself lost in his hypnotic words.
You once asked me if I’d been in love. I have. It was painful. Not something I care to repeat with you.
So, Karina had broken his heart. The question was, who was she? The name sounded so familiar yet, she couldn’t place it.
“Princess Xara?” Osric’s voice broke her reverie. They sat together in a decrepit pub two miles from the city that Michael had found. Now he stood next to her, glaring down at Osric. Osric eyed the angel with suspicion. “Can we really trust him?”
She placed her hand on Michael’s arm. “Yes.”
Michael had arrived at the royal residence that morning, armed with a sword and a smile. After Delton’s announcement last night, she’d calmed down a notch. Michael was experienced at fighting, and she could use him to carry out some of her tasks. With him by her side, she could come and go as she pleased without inviting suspicion. It was an extremely convenient arrangement.
“Why would a general like you become our princess’s bodyguard? Unless you were spying on her?” Osric’s suspicions didn’t abate.
“Because I value her life. I haven’t had anything to do since I moved to Inferno. Being Ifer’s bodyguard might be the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me.”
“Osric, I am so glad you’re back” Xara rose, moving to his side. He looked so thin, so tired. Amara hadn’t been lying about the starvation. His face was gaunt. A thick brown shirt hid the scars and marks that his body bore. She laid an arm on his shoulder and he flinched. He’d never been comfortable with touching her, thinking of him as her loyal servant. “I was worried you’d die. Amara said you’d been starving yourself.”
“It was nothing. You know I’d rather die than sell you out.”
“Don’t say that. My life would be sadder without you.”
“Then it’s a good thing I’m alive,” he said. “I had trouble making it here. This city is crawling with spies, thanks to that villain you call husband.”
Her heart skipped a beat at the mention of Delton’s name. In the past, she wouldn’t have blinked if Osric called him a villain but after last night’s confession, something had shifted. She’d begun thinking of him as human. A most dangerous tendency in her line of work.
“What? You don’t like me talking bad about the king?” Osric asked Michael.
“I’m a foreigner,” Michael said. “I am not on anyone’s side.”
“That’s even worse.”
“Osric. Stop.”
She should scold him, put him in this place, but Xara had always been soft-hearted when it came to Osric. He had saved her and given her a new life. He unconditionally supported her endeavors. There was so much to be grateful for.
In the early days of her exile, she’d been empty and miserable, each cold night eating away at her sense of self-worth. Her heart was a shell, unable to withstand the loneliness of being stranded in an alien country. She had no friends, no allies, and no love. To make everything worse, she was losing her sense of self.
Thank goodness that ugly past was behind her. She pitied the women whose sense of self-worth was determined by their ability to bear children and please their spouses. Osric and Walric had taught her something nobody had—she was more than her looks. They had seen her for who she truly was, giving her the chance to make something of herself. They believed in her and had given her the greatest gift of all-—their friendship.
She was no longer a foreigner condemned to spend her life in a golden cage. She had choices— choices that she’d created for herself. She held power equal to his and was known and respected for herself. Even if she had to pull all the stops, she’d make sure she retained her choices. She’d make sure she lived in the cage of her choosing, not his.
But what if he’d been like her too?
Empty. Heartbroken. Hopeless.
Unable to get over the person who had disappointed him.
She hated being empathetic. It was a weakness that most people exploited. When she became Ifer, she’d chosen to leave Xara behind.
But, Delton’s arrival had made her realize something. She wasn’t immune to him. The feelings that she’d buried in her heart had stirred up and now demanded to be heard. In all these years, she’d used men, made allies of them, and worked with them, but she’d never loved anyone. She hadn’t even desired one. Not after how badly her marriage had ended. Even in this misery, she couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be desired by Delton, those midnight blue eyes smoldering with passion for her. She had felt the heat simmering below the surface the first time they met and had never forgotten it. Though those cold nights had shattered the illusion, they have never been able to kill it completely. Wanting impossible things was her weakness just like power was his.
“There’s something I want to ask you,” she turned to Osric. “Do you know who Karina is?”
His eyes widened at the mention of Karina’s name. “How do you know her?”
She raised her eyebrows. “Why should I not know her?”
He facepalmed. “Was it one of the maids who told you? You were never supposed to learn of her existence. The king wanted to keep it a secret, to protect you and your mother. But maids gossip—”
All of a sudden, things started clicking into place. “She is my father’s illegitimate daughter.”
That’s why her name sounded so familiar.
“King Elian was a man. He had his faults, but he loved you, Princess Xara.”
Her heart began to thud faster. Delton’s Karina was her half-sister. The girl she’d seen at the palace. The woman Delton had loved and lost was King Elian’s daughter. The irony wasn’t lost on her.
“What became of her, Osric?”
“You aren’t supposed to know of her existence.”
“Can we move past the recriminations? I’ve seen her. She used to meet my father before I got married. Where is she now?”
Osric shifted uncomfortably. “She’s dead.”
Xara had expected that. “How did she die?”
“I don’t know but she wasn’t as innocent as you seem to think.”
“What does that mean?”
“King Elian trained her to be an assassin. At least that’s what I heard from the guards at the palace. She was a weapon.”
She took in the information, trying to connect the dots. Delton was in love with an assassin? While it seemed probable, she wondered how they’d met. The only link she could think of was —
Xara went still. It couldn’t be, could it?
“What are you thinking about?” Michael asked, realizing that she had gone quiet.
“Did she ever go to Inferno?” Xara questioned Osric.
“Yes,” Osric said, eyeing her suspiciously. “As a matter of fact, she never returned from there. She died there.”
Xara inhaled. If her theory was correct, then… God. She’d never thought Delton had such a complicated history. In a twisted sort of way, it made sense—his hatred of her father, his disillusionment with love, and his unbending will. No wonder he was so intense in his hatred of her. Did she remind him of Karina?
“Oh my god…” She forgot to breathe for a moment as thoughts converged, forming a picture she’d failed to see before. “How could I not have known?”
“What is the matter with you?” Osric asked. “Is Delton mistreating you? I knew I shouldn’t have left you to live with him. We need to get you away.“
“It’s not that,” she said. When she finished processing the information, her shoulders slumped. Her first reaction was pity. Delton didn’t deserve her sympathies, but this was too shocking. Then she remembered what he had accused her father of—murdering his parents. The narrative became clearer, and she couldn’t hold it in any longer. She had to confront him. If this was the reason, they had never stood a chance —
She had to know the truth.
Xara stood. “Stay hidden, Osric. I’ll come for you once I find my cousin.”
“Where are you going?” Osric asked, rising.
“Back to the royal residence. I need to get back before Delton returns. I’m glad you’re safe. Please don’t get caught again. It was difficult to get your out.”
“How did you do it?” he asked. “Only the king owns a key to his private prison.”
“I have my ways.” Even as she said it, her mind heated with images of her kissing Delton. She felt the warmth of his skin under her palm, the conflagration that was their kiss. Just like the rest of him, it was intense. And entirely unforgettable.
Leaving Osric to figure out his escape route, she left. Michael followed on her heels, looking around to make sure nobody saw them. He spread his wings to shield her from the eyes of passers-by; a way to lessen the damage. Xara had come disguised as a peasant woman. She was used to wearing masks.
“What was that about?” Michael asked, keeping pace with her hurried steps. “Karina?”
“My father’s illegitimate daughter. I’m sure you heard. He got a maid pregnant before I was born.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
She waved him off. “It’s in the past. I never knew her. In fact, I’d almost forgotten her. But it looks like the past has long arms.”
Michael didn’t understand her metaphor. “Let us return to the palace. Do you know where Delton is?”
“Darius said he’d be at the secret service all day. He’s been reading reports about Ifer’s history.”
Michael was an excellent spy, Xara concluded. Thanks to his relationship with Darius, he knew Delton’s every move.
A golden opportunity had fallen into her lap. Xara would be a fool not to use it.
Her husband was hiding something important from her and tonight, she was going to make him talk. This might be the mythical weakness that she had been looking for all along.
XARA WAITED in Delton’s bedroom that night. After hearing Osric’s story, she’d put together a theory and was eager to confront her husband about it. For years, she’d tried to find his secret and come up empty. Convenient how it fell into her lap when she needed it the most. Delton appeared in the room a few minutes later, surprised to see her sitting on the chair overlooking the bed.
“Your room is next door,” he reminded her gently. His clothes were crumpled from travel. Thanks to Walric’s disappearance, he spent most of his time out of the residence, allowing her the freedom to travel unnoticed. “Did you come to check on my health?”
“I wanted to speak to you.” Wearing a white gown made of linen, decorated with pearls and gauzy tissue, she had yet to change for the night. With its pearl-encrusted hem, it left her shoulders exposed.
Silently, he shut the door behind him, eyeing the curtains swaying behind her. “I don’t see Michael.”
“I sent him home. No need for him to hang around when you’re perfectly capable of protecting me.”
The ghost of a smile touched his lips.
He came to sit on his bed, eyeing her speculatively. Butterflies danced in her stomach. Lately, she’d been feeling nervous whenever she was next to him. Though they were adversaries, she’d be a fool to underestimate the potent attraction that shimmered between them. Raising her eyes, she forced herself to focus.
“What did you want to talk about?” His voice was deep, intense, and probing. No doubt he was in a bad mood thanks to his failure to find Walric that night.
“Karina.”
One mention of her name and his composure completely disintegrated. Wariness filled his eyes, his shoulders squaring defensively. Oh yes, this was what she was after.
“I thought I told you she was off limits,” he growled.
“And I told you that I deserve to know the truth. If you won’t give it to me, I’ll dig it out myself.”
Their eyes locked across the distance, and she felt him give in with a slump of his shoulders. “That would be unwise.”
“What are you so afraid of? She’s dead.” When he didn’t answer, she went on, “I remembered where I’d heard her name. The answer had been staring me in the face all along.” Crossing her arms over her chest, she edged forward on the seat. “Tell me, Delton, how do you know my half-sister?” Oxygen leaked out of his lungs. “Or should I say, my father’s other daughter?”
His fist gripped the bedsheet, and his face went white.
“Xara.” His voice was threaded with a note of warning.
“No wonder you seemed so empathetic when I told you about her at the portrait gallery. I heard something very interesting today. Karina was an assassin. For her last mission, she was sent to Inferno.” Xara stood up now, applying all the intimidation techniques she’d learned as Ifer. She crowded his space with her body, her scent, her gaze. “From where she never returned. She died there.”
His hand shot out and gripped her arm. “Who has been telling you these things?”
“Does it matter? I was shocked to hear of her unusual demise. Her body was never found.” His eyes flashed red, the demon side of him pushing its way out. “I have a theory, Delton. Care to hear it?”
“No.”
“I think she was sent to Inferno to kill your parents. And she succeeded. Isn’t that why you accused my father of orchestrating your parents’ death?”
“Stop.”
He gripped her wrist tight, fingers digging into her skin. If he applied any more force, her bones would snap. But Xara went on unperturbed.
“I think you fell in love with her, not knowing who she was. I don’t know how you found out that she killed your parents, but I can imagine you were heartbroken. No wonder you hate my father so much. You think he was responsible for the whole thing…for not just killing your parents but choosing a woman you’d fall for. Knowing you, you probably think he had it all engineered, a honey trap to eliminate the future King of Inferno.”
Even as she said it, she felt despair coat her senses. If her father had indeed done something so cruel, Delton’s anger was justified. Never before had she realized the extent of her father’s manipulation. King Elian had never been kind or understanding but she didn’t think he’d engineer something so sinister, so inhuman.
“Yes, that is what I think because it is true. I watched her kill my parents,” His voice was so hoarse, so pained. “I was there when she beheaded my mother and pointed her sword at me.”
“So, you married to exact revenge. Did you want me to take her place?”
“No!” A violent growl echoed. “Nobody can take her place.”
Xara’s heart contracted at his words.
He let go of her arm. Red marks blossomed where his fingers had been.
She couldn’t stop now.
“There is only one thing I can’t figure out.” His face was entirely covered in shadow. She couldn’t see his expression, but she knew her words had affected him from the way he’d gone still. “How did she die? Tell me the truth. Did you have her killed or did she die while trying to kill your parents? Judging from the way you carry a torch for her, I’d bet on the second option.”
Silence filled the room, and Xara wondered if she’d gone too far. Her husband had been still for far too long. He was unpredictable, and she didn’t know if his stillness boded well for her. Tentatively, she took a step back. His face edged forward, catching the light.
“You want the truth?” A shiver snaked up her spine at the sound of his ominous voice. His face was ragged as the invisible mask he held in place fell away. “Fine. I’ll give you the truth.” He took a step in her direction, trying to scare her. But she stood her ground. “You’re right. Your father sent Karina to seduce me, worm her way into my family, and kill my parents. I did not know until I was head over heels in love with her. I even asked her to marry me. She was supposed to meet my parents for dinner on the day they died.” There was anguish in this voice, and she felt the last threads of his patience snap. When he glanced in her direction, his eyes blazed red like hot coals. “Your father wanted to eliminate my family, to make it easier for him to take over the throne of Inferno. I have no siblings, nobody who can claim the throne. As long as he got rid of me, he’d have my land. Karina confessed to the entire scheme after she killed my parents. You once asked me how I could be so sure that your father had killed my parents. Now, you know. As she pointed her sword at me, determined to kill, she told me that King Elian was behind the plot. I never forgot his name.”
Xara swallowed. Guilt warred with vengeance. No, she needed to be objective. She needed to hate him and blame him. But damn, his story was convincing.
“You still haven’t answered my question. How did she die?”
When he glanced in her direction, she stopped breathing. She had never seen a look so pained in her entire life; like he was fighting his demons and losing. They stood mere inches apart, her face barely reaching his shoulder.
His answer came in a whisper that tickled the shell of her ear.
“I killed her.” She blinked. “I drained the life force out of her with my own hands.” He moved past her, resting his palms on the wall for support. Face hanging down, Delton closed his eyes. “I used magic to make her body wither because I didn’t have the heart to use my sword. Even when she was dying, even after she’d betrayed me, I didn’t want to hurt her.” When she inhaled sharply, he asked, “Is that romantic enough for you?”
“Delton…”
“I killed her even though I loved her. And I live with the guilt every day of my life. Even now, I blame myself for my parent’s death. I should never have brought her into the palace. It was my fault for not recognizing Karina for who she was. But you know what the worst part is?” She turned in his direction, her face meeting his back. “It’s that she never loved me. Everything we had, every single kiss, every encounter was a lie. I was nothing but a target to her. When she was the entire world to me.” His knees gave out and he sunk to the floor. Xara had never seen him so broken, so honest. His grief flowed into her in waves and she was helpless to defend against it. “God, when I think about how foolish I was…it is pathetic.”
She took a step towards him until the skirt of his gown brushed the back of his coat. But he didn’t look up. Was he crying? Re-living the pain of Karina’s betrayal? She’d come here to confront him; to own his greatest weakness. She’d gotten what she wanted but Xara wondered why the surge of victory she hoped for never came.
“When I stood there, looking at my parents’ dead bodies, I felt powerless. Completely, utterly broken…like I was standing naked in the middle of a raging snowstorm. Have you ever felt that way? Like you were stuck in a dark place and no matter what you did, you couldn’t crawl out of it?”
Oh, she knew the feeling too well.
“The country was in chaos after my parents’ death. I wanted to mourn her, to mourn them, to mourn the love that never existed but I didn’t have the luxury to indulge in grief. Karina had sold Inferno’s secrets to Elysium. I had no choice but to go to war. The only thing that kept me alive all those years was the prospect of revenge. When I killed Karina, I promised myself that I’d never be powerless again, never be at the mercy of a woman who could destroy me with one word.”
Xara stood behind him. “It looks like you’ve succeeded so far.”
She sensed his pain, his vulnerability, his brokenness. She wanted to shut it out, but his feelings bled into her, suffusing with her own.
“I have, haven’t I?” His laugh was part agony, part humor, but he didn’t face her. It must be killing him to lay his heart bare; to confess his deepest, darkest emotions to his enemy’s daughter. His shoulders trembled and she wondered if he was crying. Of course not. Delton was incapable of tears. Still, she felt the tremors in her heart. “Now, you know my greatest weakness.” He sounded so defeated, so unlike himself. “You have the answer you craved.”
She felt the fear in his voice, the reservation, the vulnerability. This was a side of him she’d never seen. Never even known existed.
The shadow on the wall shrunk as he turned to her. And she saw his pain only too clearly. His blue eyes were a tad glassy, his face drooping with pain. His mask had been shattered and what lay in its place was naked vulnerability. She’d always thought his eyes magnetic. Riveting. But now she thought them haunted. Haunting.
She wanted to go to him, to put her arms around him and comfort him. But the distance between them felt impenetrable. She couldn’t be understanding. If she did, everything she’d built would crumble. She couldn’t forgive him but now that she knew his reasons, she couldn’t blame him entirely either.
“You should’ve told me the truth when we got married,” was all she said. “I-I would’ve understood.”
“I don’t deserve your understanding,” he said. “Not after the way I treated you.”
He was admitting to his faults. Delton must really be at his lowest point.
“You thought I was like her.”
“You are nothing like her,” he said. “You’re far more dangerous. Karina was cold and heartless. But you’re kind and generous. You could melt my defenses if I weren’t careful. I knew it the moment I laid eyes on you.” She shuddered, wondering how he’d react if he found out she was Ifer. “My body craves your touch. Every time I look at those lips, I want to kiss you senseless. I lie awake at night, thinking of you. You’ve driven me to the brink of madness without laying a finger on me.”
Her lips parted in surprise. His voice was raw, making her believe that she meant more to him.
“But none of that is enough to make me apologize. I don’t know if I have it in me to forgive your father or Karina.”
“I’m not them.”
“You’re not.” He was going to apologize. She could feel it in her bones. His eyes were fixed on her, honest, pleading, and sincere. “I’m—’
Before the final words left his mouth, a knock echoed. At once, they both grew alert. Forgetting all about their conversation, Delton turned, reaching for the door.
“Stand back,” he said, as he opened it, hand poised on his sword.
A shadow appeared beyond Delton, startling her into awareness. Xara moved closer, trying to get a glimpse of the stranger. She saw threads of silver coupled with the sight of skin. Delton moved, coming to stand in front of her in a protective stance.
“Your Majesty.”
“Felix. What are you doing here so late at night?”
Felix’s clear eyes flickered from Delton to Xara, pausing on her face a little too long. She had spied on him as Ifer but had never met him as Queen Xara. So, she gave him an acknowledging nod.
“I have some good news,” he said, eyes fixed on her. “Walric has been captured.”
And just like that, the breath whooshed out of her lungs. Tenderness vanished, replaced with fear, cold and hard.
