“Arwen.” A familiar panicked voice roused me. “Arwen!” There was a light slap on my cheek.
My eyelids sprang open and I came face to face with Drae.
His panicked green gaze ran the length of my body. “Are you hurt?” he said.
I blinked a few times and then looked down to see that I was completely naked. My clothes had burned off. Little bits of ash and soot stained my skin. My gaze peered out around the garden, and the memory of everything came back to me.
“Joslyn,” I whimpered, my lip quivering as my body started to shake.
The king reached down and pulled off his tunic, and then helped me sit up, threading my arms through the garment. Soldiers ran around the garden barking orders and taking up arms, but all I could see was the beautiful dark hair splayed out on the grass and the puddle of blood under Joslyn’s body.
“I… I couldn’t save her,” I sobbed.
The king hauled me up into his arms and I peered down at two corpses. They were burned like animal meat. I must have… my power…
“Someone betrayed me. Who was it?” the king growled as he walked with me in his arms, tucking me tightly to his chest.
“Bonner,” I croaked.
The king’s jaw ticked and his arms pulled tighter around me. As we passed Cal, the king stopped to face him. “Take Bonner’s wife in for interrogation. If she knew he was a traitor, banish her and their children to Nightfall.”
Cal nodded and then took off running.
Nightfall was no place for dragon-folk… I guess that was why the king would ban traitors there. The second you stepped foot on their soil, they killed you if you had an ounce of magical blood in you. I didn’t care about that right now. I couldn’t get the image of Joslyn being bled like a goatin out of my mind.
My body shivered as a deathly cold crept over me.
Drae slapped my cheek and I gasped, realizing I’d blacked out again.
“She’s going into shock,” Dr. Elsie said.
When did Dr. Elsie get here?
I peered around, looking at the black dragon scale-patterned wallpaper and dark gray lacquered four-poster bed. Drae deposited me on the charcoal silk sheets and stared down at me, wide-eyed. “She burned up half the garden, exploded with dragon fire at least twenty feet wide.”
Dr. Elsie pulled an elven healing wand from her doctor’s bag and held it over me. I’d seen an elven healing one time. An elf came through town while traveling the perilous Narrow Strait, the small bit of neutral land in Nightfall territory that led from Embergate to Thorngate. One toe outside of the strait and the Nightfall warriors would stick an arrow in your back with legal right.
The elf had been traveling with a friend who’d strayed outside of the neutral portion of the Narrow Strait and he’d shown up to Cinder Village with an arrow in his back. When the healer had brought her healing wand out, I’d never forgotten the unearthly glow it held. It was a cross between blue and purple but also silver. It was like the stars in the sky were contained in that wand and…
Slap.
I gasped, my eyelids fluttering open.
“Stay with me!” Dr. Elsie bellowed.
“Stop slapping me,” I whimpered weakly, looking up at her.
“I need you conscious, Arwen. You’re going into shock and I don’t know why.”
Her words scared the life out of me.
She held the wand now, as small as a stick you would pick up to float downriver. It glowed that magical blueish purple and the light seemed to bathe my skin, wrapping around it and hugging my body. The light didn’t touch the sheets beneath me, it only seemed to search out and stick to that which was alive, the same way it had the fallen elf who’d been brought to my village.
My legs suddenly started to shake, and my teeth chattered violently.
Elsie gasped, looking at the light that bathed my skin as if it had just told her something. “Run a hot bath! She’s cold as ice. Organs shutting down. She used all of her fire to fight off the men and now she’s… freezing to death.”
King Valdren loomed over me now, eyes glowing with orange fire. “There’s no time for a bath. Move.”
Dr. Elsie glanced up at him with a frown. “My lord, she needs hea—”
“MOVE!” he bellowed and she leapt to her feet, stumbling backwards.
My entire body convulsed, the coldness creeping into my very heart and squeezing. I closed my eyes, ready to meet the Maker, then a searing heat washed over my skin. My eyelids snapped open just as the king lowered himself on top of me, flames shooting from his hands and encompassing my entire body.
It burned, but in a good way. His hands reached under me and then he pulled me to him, smooshing us together in this cocoon of heat. The flames danced around us and I smelled smoke as the bedding singed, but the king and I remained unharmed, as if this dragon fire were a healing balm and not the scorching heat it would be to someone else. I stared up into his eyes, feeling the weight of him on top of me as he looked down.
The realization hit me hard.
I’d fallen in love with him. I wanted him. I…
Emotion tightened my throat as I thought of Joslyn. Of Cal and how he wouldn’t kiss me. I was the backup—he didn’t choose me. I needed to remember that.
The heat thawed the deep cold that had taken over me and my body stopped its shivering. My teeth no longer chattered, and clarity returned to my mind. I took in a deep breath, no longer feeling only half in this world.
The fire around us died down and Regina and Dr. Elsie rushed forward, patting the sheets to put out the small fires that had erupted around us. The king pushed off of me, chest heaving, naked as the day he was born.
His eyes hooded as he gazed down at me. I peered at my body to see that the tunic had burned off and I was again completely naked as well.
“Keep her safe,” he told Dr. Elsie. “She doesn’t leave my room until I’m back.”
Dr. Elsie nodded and Drae crossed the room, grabbing a pair of trousers from the wardrobe. Regina sidled up beside him. “My king, how will you retaliate for this injustice? The queen of Nightfall just killed your betrothed and then tried to kill your backup.”
Backup.
She said backup. So Regina knew too? Was I the only one who truly thought I was here because he wanted me to be in his army? I rolled onto my side, away from them; the tears fell down my cheeks and onto the burnt sheets. Dr. Elsie spread a new blanket over me and began to scan me again with the elven wand.
“She took my opportunity of an heir, so now I’ll take one of hers.” The king’s voice could cut glass and I stiffened at his words.
“One of her sons?” Regina sounded pleased.
The king must have nodded, because then the door slammed and I was left in silence, bathed in the elven healing light and all alone.
The king was going to kill one of the Nightfall queen’s sons? I heard she had seven, and one daughter.
What if Drae got killed trying to retaliate for Joslyn’s death? I couldn’t let that happen, not when I had the power to help them.
I sat up, causing Dr. Elsie to lean backwards to avoid cracking heads with me.
“Am I healed? His fire healed me, right? I feel fine,” I informed her, and by fine I meant physically fine and emotionally fragile.
She frowned. “Your body looks stable, organs functioning as planned, but—”
I leapt off the bed and ran to the king’s wardrobe.
“But you cannot go anywhere. King’s orders!” Elsie demanded.
I threw on one of his tunics, not bothering with underclothes, and burst out the door.
“Ooph.” I ran right into Cal’s chest.
“I can’t let you go anywhere,” he told me, frowning as he took in my appearance. I probably had soot in my hair and the creases of my skin and looked like a wild animal. I didn’t care. I felt like one.
“Move,” I growled, my nostrils smoking.
Cal rolled his eyes, widening his stance. “By order of the king, you will not leave this room, Arwen.”
I raised my hand, calling a ball of fire into it. “Back up, or escort me to Drae. I don’t care which, but get out of my way.”
Cal sighed, stepping out of the way. “I’ll escort you to him and then right back here,” he said.
I took off running, not bothering to wait.
If the king was going to seek revenge in Joslyn’s name, then I was going to help him.
I knew where he would be—in the stables preparing to ride with his army. I ran through the hallway, my legs still shaky from the trauma of seeing Joslyn killed right in front of me. I couldn’t get the image of her body lying in the puddle of crimson blood out of my head. Streaking across the grassy pathway to the barn, I found him addressing a small contingent of six Drayken guards, Regina included.
“I’ll shift forms and fly two of you on my back into Nightfall territory—”
When he saw me approach, he stopped talking. “Arwen,” he growled, and then looked to Cal.
“I’m going,” I demanded.
Regina sighed, whisking away the five other guards, plus Cal, and then it was just Drae and me.
“You cannot go. This is not up for discussion,” he announced.
I narrowed my eyes at him and stepped closer until our toes were nearly touching. “I’m not staying back here to be your safe little backup,” I spat. “I’m more than my womb. I’m a warrior, and I’ll fight for Joslyn’s honor with or without you!”
His head reeled back as if I’d slapped him. “I… I don’t see you simply as a womb, nor just a backup,” he growled.
“Lies,” I snapped. “That’s all you’ve seen of me from day one. Joslyn too. She was going to stay with you, you know that? She mentioned to me in the garden that even though you told her you would never love her, that she would stay and do her duty to give you an heir.”
He froze, his breaths coming in and out in ragged gasps. “I told Joslyn I wouldn’t love her… because I’ve fallen for another,” he said.
I went very still, my heart beating so fast I thought it might jump out onto the ground and show him how nervous I was.
“Who?” I asked timidly, praying I knew the answer.
“You. I want you,” he pressed.
I gulped, everything inside of me warring with the other. Joslyn. Backup. Kissing Cal. Royal womb. Heir. Backup. Backup. Backup.
“You don’t want me. You need me—you need my womb,” I clarified, unable to get over the truth of the matter. If Joslyn weren’t dead right now, and I weren’t his only option at a child, would he still be saying all this?
“You are an impossible woman!” he screamed, lunging for me.
I stumbled backwards, thinking for a wild second that he might hit me. I should have known better. His hand came around the back of my neck and then he yanked me forward, pressing his lips to mine.
I gasped, inhaling his breath. My lips opened and our tongues crashed together. Our kisses always seemed to be this way, angry, passionate, and feverish. His other hand came around my lower back and he pressed my stomach into him. I moaned at the feeling of his body flush with mine; heat built between us, and I slipped my tongue across his, feeling the world tilt.
There was a hungriness to his kiss that I loved. It was like he was starved for my taste and couldn’t get enough. I wanted to consume him all the same but one word kept playing out in my head.
Backup.
Was he only kissing me now that Joslyn was dead and I was his only chance at an heir? Did I blame him? Did I still want his affections if they were fake?
I pulled away from him, no longer drunk on his lips, and reached up to grab my mouth.
His brows dipped in concern as he watched me.
“I respect the position you are in but…” I took a deep breath. “I’m too good to be anyone’s backup plan.” I held my chin high, knowing full well that this might get me killed. This could have been the only reason he was keeping me alive, and now that I was denying him, he would do what my mother warned all along.
He grabbed his chest as if I’d stuck a blade in it. “Arwen, you’re… you don’t understand—”
“My lord!” Regina’s sharp voice came from behind us both and I jumped. “Morning light approaches. If we want to do this and get home under the cover of darkness, we must go now.”
I looked to Drae. “I’m flying. I can carry one on my back.” The only sane way into Nightfall territory was by air. Their borders were the most secure in all the realms.
His eyes glowed orange. “You’ve never carried anyone before.”
“I’m small,” Regina said, “she can carry me. I know how to remain still and not throw her off balance.”
“It’s settled,” I stated, and walked into the barn past the king to take off his tunic I was wearing and shift.
They argued a little outside but I didn’t care. I was going. I felt even more guilty now for kissing the king before Joslyn’s body had barely been dead an hour. I had to seek revenge. When I was fully shifted, I stepped out of the barn and into the open pasture, where the king had also shifted into his dragon form. I gasped as I noticed the small patches of human skin peeking through his black scales, as if he couldn’t fully shift.
“It’s getting worse,” Regina noted, and I froze, the gravity of seeing him like that weighing on me.
His magic was dying without an heir—something I could give him. Something I wanted to give him. He looked at me and I felt an intangible bond form between us. It was hard to explain but it was as if something knitted together, tying my fate to his.
Maker help me, I prayed. Where Drae was concerned I was sure of nothing, only that I wanted to be true to myself first and foremost. I wanted to be loved, adored, wanted.
‘Let’s fly,’ he said. ‘For Joslyn.’
‘For Joslyn,’ I agreed.
I kicked off the ground and flew west with my mind replaying the best kiss I’d ever had in my life. Would every kiss with him be like that? Was it just because it was new and exciting and… forbidden? I shouldn’t be kissing a betrothed king. A king who is now mourning the loss of his future wife.
But was he mourning? He didn’t seem to be. He respected Joslyn but he seemed angrier about her death than sad. Still, it was inappropriate timing and I felt awful. Why would I kiss a man who said nothing when Regina called me the backup? That was the biggest reason of all not to kiss him ever again. These thoughts warred in my mind as we flew towards a fate unknown.
