As we drive, Grayson says very little. He listened intently as I told him about Theo’s plan to wipe out the Nomads as well as his theory about Grayson starting a war. And since then he’s been very quiet. The rain’s started to really come down and the window wipers are going like crazy.
It’s just us.
Grayson either sent the rest of his men back home to look after Gabriel, search the woods for the mysterious shooter or make sure Toby’s secure while we fetch the journal.
Toby.
I still can’t even start to process the truth about him. About what he did. Every time I think about it, I want to explode in a fiery rage and in my case, that’s a very real probability. That, or turn this car around and go to the house to rip his head off.
I shake my head, ridding myself of the harrowing images I saw in his head. Occasionally, I notice my hand covering my belly as if still protecting the life that was once there. I lower my hand and rest them idly on my lap telling myself over and over not to think about it. Not yet.
What if Toby tells them all what he knows about me? I can barely live with the horrors of my past, let alone knowing that everyone else knows about them too. I couldn’t face Toby hurling the memory of my lost child at me like a weapon. I need to tell Gabriel. It will be better coming from me. When he’s better, I’ll lay it all out. Like he did for me tonight.
It’s the right thing to do.
I’ve started to shake. I’m covered in blood. Mine and Gabriel’s. I can’t get the image of him falling to the floor out of my head. The way his blood spread across his shirt so fast. I think that will haunt me forever. My hand’s bleeding through the bandage which is now just a red mess and it hurts like hell. I rest my hands down gently on my lap and take a deep breath hoping to stop my increasingly violent shakes.
‘Are you cold?’ Grayson asks. He’s watching me anxiously as he drives.
‘I think I’m in shock,’ I admit, looking down at my mutilated hand and trying to rid myself of everything I learnt tonight. My head’s a mess. I’m a mess.
He turns up the heating and hands me a flask he had in the driver’s side door.
‘Drink this and try to calm yourself. It’s sweet tea. We’ll fetch the journal and get you back home as soon as possible. A nice hot bath and some seriously strong painkillers will do you a world of good.’ He looks down at my hand. ‘I’m so sorry that Theo did this to you. We looked for the fingers but couldn’t find them. I thought we could try and reattach them for you, but sadly the tent you were in was destroyed. The fingers too I imagine.’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ I mutter before I sip the tea. Truth is I’m not ready to face everything right now. My hand, Toby, Grayson. ‘I like the sound of a bath and some painkillers though. A stiff drink would be most welcome too.’
He gives a small laugh. ‘I bet. Drink the tea for now. It will help with the shock,’ he says before returning his full attention to the road. I look out the window sipping it and see a streak of lightning in the distance. There’s one hell of a storm going on outside. I wonder if it’s raining at the house. I wonder if Gabriel’s awake. I hope he’s okay. I know he’s alive or Grayson would be dead too if what I was told about the spell linking them all is true. I’m just so desperate to get back to him and see how he is.
‘I’m sorry,’ he says.
‘Sorry?’
‘For threatening to send Gabriel away as I did. I just…’ he continues looking out at the road.
‘What?’
‘I was scared. I’ve never been scared before but knowing you were in danger and seeing you so hurt…I was terrified. Then you two kissed and jealousy got the better of me. The truth is, your safety and your happiness must come first. I know that. Not only because of how important you are, but because of how much I care about you. In the heat of the moment, I forgot that. But please believe me when I say that I am sorry and from now I’ll be nothing but supportive of your relationship. And, I’m sorry about Ava. And for what happened with Rose. It was a difficult decision-’
‘I really don’t want to talk about any of that. I won’t pretend to understand what you did, and I certainly can’t forgive it. Not Rose and not what you forced Gabriel to do with Ava.’ I look him right in the eye. ‘I don’t trust you. You put on this front. That you’re a good man, just misunderstood. But you’re not. You’re selfish. Manipulative and frankly, despicable. This is a business arrangement, that’s all. If I didn’t need your help with the veil and stopping Theo getting his hands on the journal, me and Gabriel would be gone. So let’s not pretend to be friends. Don’t try and be sweet. I know what you did to Rose. I saw it all through Gabriel’s eyes. Thanks to my new power. So just drive.’
‘I may do things that others see as cruel or unpleasant, but I only do what I must to keep us all safe and to keep us all alive. I have to make the hard decisions.’
His attempts at sounding reasonable are pathetic.
‘If a man said to me, have sex with me, or I’ll hurt the man you love…what would you call that?’ I ask him. He keeps glancing between me and the weather-beaten road. ‘Because I would call that rape. Forcing sex…is rape. You raped Rose.’
‘I never-’
‘You aided in Ava raping Gabriel.’
‘That’s ridiculous!’
‘What, a woman can’t rape a man?’ I scoff. ‘I know what you are. And even if I hadn’t met Gabriel, I would never have fallen for a man like you. And If you attempt to start a war…I’ll stop you.’ My voice is as cold as ice. My stare as resolved as could be. ‘I’ll destroy everything you’ve built. I’ll tear it all down. You hear me?’
He says nothing before turning back to the road.
‘I have no intention of starting a war. What I told you about our plans for our people once the veil is down is the truth. I swear it,’ he tells me. ‘I would never lie about that. You can ask any of the Nomads. No one wants to go through that hell again. The war killed my mother. I won’t lose anyone else.’ And I believe him. There’s no hint of a lie in his voice and it’s also what Gabriel said too. ‘And I didn’t rape Rose.’
‘I’m not talking about it with you anymore.
‘I didn’t-’
‘I said stop talking.’
∞∞∞
An hour of silence and we turn off the country lane to drive down a long and very bumpy private road. The car comes to a stop. He turns off the engine and looks at me.
‘You sure it’s here?’ he asks.
‘If this is the right place, then yes. It’s here.’
‘How can you be sure?’
‘I saw it. In Toby’s head. I know that he’s hidden it here.’ He can choose to believe me or not. I’m not going to argue or explain how I can be this sure. I know. I felt it like an absolute truth. There’s no doubt in my mind that according to Toby, the journal is hidden here.
The Miller’s barn.
Straight ahead of us illuminated by the full beams of Grayson’s car is an enormous piece of neglected farmland with an old rust bucket tractor and the shell of a car straight ahead of us. Beside those, is an old, weather-beaten barn with double doors and red peeling paint. Half of it’s covered in overgrowth, but there’s a clear path leading from the road where he’s parked the car, to the doors of the barn.
‘Does it look familiar?’
‘Not particularly.’
‘Come on. Let’s get this over with.’ He opens the glove box, pulls out a torch and goes out into the rain closing the door behind him. I get out and follow.
We walk quickly, almost running towards the barn. The rain’s relentless!
By the time we reach the doors we’re both soaked. They groan and creak as they open, making the whole barn shake. Once in, he slides the door closed and we brush-off the rain to minimal effect. Together we turn.
He glides the light from the torch over the inside of this rundown, old building.
The air feels colder in here, unnatural almost. I look around the room I’ve seen a hundred times in my dreams. It’s a big old structure with wooden planks for walls that don’t quite fit together and a high roof with more than a few leaks being held up by makeshift beams.
There’s a couple of rusted through pieces of farming machinery with vicious spikes and rotor blades. In the far corner are few old tires piled high next to some empty black barrels and a pile of dry rotted straw straight ahead of us. The place stinks of damp, dust, oil and stagnant water. It gets stuck in the back of my throat.
The grey concrete floor is filthy with dirt and grime. It’s stained by something too, creating dark brown and black patches all around us. It takes a moment to register what it actually is.
‘That’s not paint, is it?’ I whisper, looking at the floor.
‘No. The floor’s stained with blood,’ he tells me, looking at the large stain below our feet.
‘The men I killed…’
I see a metal hoop bolted to the floor in the very centre of the room with a chain attached to it. This is where I was when Toby attacked me while the mysterious girl held down my ankles.
‘Some of this is your blood,’ he tells me, showing me the dark patches on the steel and snapping me back to reality. ‘Hendrix could smell it when he came here a few days ago.’
I back up knowing why my blood would be here and wanting to be as far away from it all as possible. I can’t face this right now. I just can’t, so I turn away and scour the rest of the building.
‘Malcolm was shot. Like Gabriel was shot tonight,’ I ponder aloud. ‘Do you think that was a coincidence? Maybe it was the same person? Maybe that bullet Malcolm took was meant for me, just like tonight’s bullet was.’
‘The bullet that hit Malcolm was meant for Malcolm. It was very precise. They would have had you in their sights as well so no, that one wasn’t meant for you. But tonight’s one was.’ Grayson continues looking around the barn. ‘When Billy found Malcolm here, he said that he was on the phone, that he kept saying that it wasn’t here. That he couldn’t find it. I bet he was looking for the journal. Hopefully, he was looking in the wrong place, or we’re back to square one.’
My eyes become fixated on the metal hoop hammered into the ground once more. I can hear my pleas for mercy ringing in my ears and see the look of betrayal and fear in my eyes. After a moment Grayson clears his throat, and I crash back to reality. He’s watching me with anxious eyes.
‘Everything okay?’ he asks. ‘You look like you’ve seen a ghost.’
‘I’m fine. I just want to get out of here. The place gives me the creeps.’ I turn away from the blood-stained floor keen not to think about any of what I saw in Toby’s mind. ‘Well, let’s see if he was looking in the wrong place.’
I make my way over to an old tractor tucked away in the corner with two large rear rubber tires that are almost as tall as me. The engine makes up the majority of the machine, and I’m sure it’s more rust than metal. Between the two tires is a metal seat. I climb on top and start to slide off the metal case that covers the engine, careful not to use my injured hand. Grayson keeps the light on me so I can see what I’m doing.
‘Do you need a hand?’ he asks.
‘No,’ I groan as I struggle with the weight of it. Screw this. I use my magic and send the seat hurtling through the air and falls to the floor with a loud bang. I look down but can’t see much.
‘Here.’ He reaches up and hands me the flashlight.
I use it to look inside the machine.
There are metal pipes and various gears. But no journal. I slide my hand down and feel. Maybe it’s underneath. I panic when there’s nothing there but the engine. I reach further down but still feel nothing but metal.
‘I saw it! In his head, I know the journal’s here. I saw him hide it in this exact spot.’ My sudden vigorous rummaging makes Grayson nervous.
‘If it’s not in there, if this was a trick…’ his voice is tainted with anger. My fingers feel the spine of the book, and I slump with relief. Leaning down even further so my entire arm is lost beneath the engine, I grab hold and pull it out.
‘Got it,’ I sigh thankfully.
The thick book with thin pages similar to that of a bible looks just as I remember it. Except the hard, red leather cover is a little dirtier than it was with some oil stains and dust. The faint silver seven-pointed star is still embossed on the cover. Seeing it is a weight lifted off my shoulders.
We have the journal. Toby’s secured. I’ve finally managed to learn to control my magic. Gabriel’s at home safe and sound, and I’ll be with him soon. Everything is finally falling into place.
‘How did you not find this? You’ve been here a few times. Didn’t you search it from top to bottom?’
‘Sorry. We didn’t think to dismantle the tractor. Can you give it to me please?’ Grayson’s looking up at the book hungrily. He stretches his hand out expectantly.
‘I’m going to keep hold of it. I’m sure you understand,’ I tell him, holding it close to my chest. ‘You can’t read it anyway.’ I jump down and walk past his angry stare. But what’s he going to do? Nothing. That’s what.
‘Shall we go?’ I ask, striding towards the door and placing the flashlight in his expectant hand instead of the journal.
As I walk, I notice that he’s not beside me. Or behind me. I look over my shoulder and see him still standing where I left him with a far from genuine smile.
‘You alright?’ My eyes scan the room for any indication of why he’s just standing there looking at me. ‘Grayson? What’s…’ In an instant, the room spins wildly around me, and I stumble a little. My arms fan out in a vague effort to return my sense of equilibrium. I stop myself from falling as the room settles a little and I try to shake off the immense dizziness.
‘Are you okay?’ he asks, his tone cold and disinterested. I look over at him as he blurs in and out of focus. He puts the flashlight on the floor before slowly, purposefully walking towards me. Each one of his footsteps echoes loudly around me and with each dull thud, I flinch. I back up. Something is wrong. Very, very wrong. My feet are clumsy. My skin suddenly clammy. My heart is going a mile a minute and I can’t organise my thoughts. There are two of him. Three. I have no idea. I can’t see properly.
‘Stay…stay the fuck…what have…’
I create my fire on my hands and as he gets closer, I send it to him. But he dodges my clumsy efforts easily and laughs as I stumble and stammer. He continues descending on me, and I, in turn, continue drunkenly backing away until my back hits one of the makeshift posts holding up the roof. The whole barn groans as I make the slightest contact with the shoddy support beam. I can’t focus on more than one thing. Watching him, keeping myself on my feet, staying awake. In a second he’s in front of me, looking down at me with a cold stare.
‘It’s working a bit quicker than I expected,’ he boasts.
‘What have you done to me?’ I slur. I reach out to push him away but the room takes another wild spin, and it’s too much. I can’t tell up from down. My legs buckle. I fall. My flames disappear as Grayson catches me in his arms. He holds me close to his chest, one arm around my waist and the other in my hair holding the back of my lolling head.
I try to push him off. I try to scream. But I can’t. He pulls my hair so I have to look up at him.
‘It’s okay,’ he says with complete and utter calm. ‘You’ll be okay.’ He lowers himself to his knees and takes me with him. I’m pulled into his lap where he starts gently rocking me back and forwards. ‘I slipped a little something in your tea. It will wear off soon,’ he shushes me as if comforting me. Tears sting my eyes as I lay helpless in his arms. He’s drugged me. He’s tricked me. And I’m all on my own. No one even knows where we are.
I’m slipping. Falling into oblivion. My body’s already gone there, and now all I can do is wait for my mind to follow. I try to get him away from me. I call for my magic, but it doesn’t come. It’s faded too. My muscles. My voice. My magic. It’s gone. They’ve left me all alone with him.
With every blink, my eyes stay closed longer. My arms fall limp at my side. All I can do is lay lifeless in his arms. He brushes the hair from my face, leans down and lands a delicate kiss on my lips.
‘You should have listened when I warned you not to threaten me. Because, my dear girl, I always come out on top.’
His soft laugh fades away as I lose all ability to stay awake.
∞∞∞
I can smell smoke. I feel a warmth on my face, but the rest of me is shivering. Slowly I blink open my eyes, terrified of what I’ll see when I open them. Nothing good, I’m sure.
I’m lying on the floor of the barn. There’s a fire in a neat circle in front of me lighting the room, and the sound of the rain pelting the barn roof is almost deafening. But I can still hear the crackling of the twigs as they burn.
My hands are tied together above my head. There’s a leather belt wrapped around my wrists and they’re tethered to the same metal hook that I saw in Toby’s mind. A wash of horror covers me inside and out as not only the memory of what happened here last time hits me, but also why Grayson would want me tied down this way.
I pull at the restraints, but it’s no good. I’m stuck.
Everything’s spinning. My vision’s blighted by black spots that fade in and out of sight. As I try desperately to focus, I see Grayson standing at the opposite side of the fire looking into the flames before his eyes redirect straight to me. He has a severe face, full of concentration.
‘You’re awake already?’ he says poking at the fire with a long stick. ‘You have the constitution of an ox, clearly. I gave you enough to knock you out for hours.’
‘What are you doing?’ I ask nervously. He doesn’t answer. He keeps his focus on the stick in the fire. I try once more to get free, despite feeling like I have a bottle of whiskey and half a box of sleeping pills in my bloodstream.
‘You drugged me?’ I ask in a panic. He says nothing. ‘Untie me!’ I demand as firmly as I can while not vomiting. Again, he says nothing but keeps his focus on the fire. He won’t talk, but I don’t need to be told that I’m in serious trouble. I keep trying to get free. Pulling and pulling against the restraints.
I look at my hands bound together above my head and what I see has me convinced I’m hallucinating. I blink three times and get my vision a little clearer.
That’s not possible. It can’t be.
On my right wrist, I see a cuff. A brown leather cuff with Celtic engravings carved into the flesh, and in a deep red, almost black thread, the word Nexasanguinum is sewn through the very centre. It’s my old cuff. The one given to me by Gabriel to act as my binding spell after I set fire to my room when I first arrived.
The one that was stolen by the man who shot me with adrenaline and pushed me towards the house hoping I would explode and take out Grayson.
How? How is it here?
He sees me looking at the cuff with extreme confusion and then at him, all the while everything is still swirling and fading in and out of focus.
I roll over and get clumsily to my knees as the fog slowly starts to clear. If I can’t slip the belt then maybe I can get the binding spell off. I start going at it with my teeth. It’s held together by poppers. I can get it off. I undo the poppers, but the bastard must have sewn the damn thing shut while I was sleeping. I bite at it like a rabid animal. Determined to get free and hurl my magic at him. He sees me struggling.
‘Stop that!’ he barks, pointing at me as I continue. ‘I said stop it, Lilly. Or I’ll come over there and pull your teeth out!’
‘Fuck you!’ I garble, mouth full of leather. Why can’t I get this bloody thing off!
He starts walking towards me when I keep trying. I don’t take my eyes off him as he charges over, but there’s nothing in heaven or hell that will stop me from trying to get free. I’m still frantically pulling at the thing with my teeth as he reaches me. He grabs my hair and yanks my head back hard, so I let go.
‘GET OFF ME!’ I scream. ‘GET THE FUCK OFF ME!’
‘No,’ he says simply. ‘And what have I told you about that mouth, hmm? A delicate little thing like you shouldn’t have a filthy mouth.’ He slams me down onto the floor on my back before he slides my body away from the hoop my hands are attached to so my arms are stretched out as long as they can go above my head.
I’m reliving the memory I saw in Toby’s head. Tied down and stretched out. Helpless. But the only life in danger right now is mine.
He sits on me with a leg either side of my waist. The sleeves of his white shirt are rolled up to his elbows, and there’s blood from the battle splattered all over him, drying and flaking. All I can do is kick my legs out as violently as I can and scream as loud as my voice will allow but I’m not strong enough to get him off and there’s no one around for miles to hear me.
‘Shhh,’ He looks down at me with a self-assured grin. ‘Calm down, Miss Hooper. Trust me, you’re not going anywhere.’
Like hell! When I let loose one hell of a blood-curdling screech he jumps, his features contort in hateful anger at my complete disobedience. He slams a hand over my mouth and pinches my nose shut.
‘I said, calm down.’
I’m kicking and thrashing. Thrusting my hips up to buck him off me, but all he does is raise his eyebrows and wait.
‘Stop struggling, and I’ll let you breathe.’ He’s not messing about. He’s cutting off all my oxygen. ‘I mean it. Thirty seconds roughly until you’re unconscious. So lie still willingly, or I’ll just keep squeezing.’
I stop kicking and force my legs to go limp. I fight my instincts and hope he keeps his word and lets me go. As soon as I’m still, he releases his grip, allowing me to gasp in the air greedily.
‘Good girl,’ he says softly, stroking the hair from my face.
‘The cuff,’ I pant. ‘How have you got my old cuff?’
‘You’re clever. Think about it,’ he says with a small, condescending laugh.
It was stolen. Taken by a man who broke into the grounds. As I look up into his eyes which are thoroughly amused as he watches me racking my brain trying to understand.
‘The man who attacked me. You got it from him.’
‘Obviously,’ he drawls.
‘You caught him? You…I don’t understand.’ I look around the barn and pray for something, anything that will help me get out of here. Nothing. I’m on my own. Completely. ‘Tell me, Grayson. Explain!’
‘I saw your bag.’
‘Bag? What bag?’
‘After Malcolm’s head exploded, you said you wanted to leave. That night, I saw the bag you packed while you were in the shower. I knew you wanted to leave, but you see…I couldn’t let that happen. I needed you to stay right by my side. But…’ he presses his finger to his lips as if thinking before pointing briefly to his head. ‘I needed you to want to stay. You’re a stubborn little thing. You wanted to be all stoic and self-righteous, putting the safety of others before yourself. You were right, your presence in that house puts us all in danger. So I had to make sure that you wanted, needed to stay.’ He taps the side of my head. ‘I needed you to think that the only way to keep everyone safe was for you to stay.’
‘What did you do?’ I ask, even though I’m damn sure I don’t want to know the answer.
‘You didn’t think that it was ridiculously easy? Your escape? Sneaking past my men unseen? Making it to the outer edge of my estate unchallenged?’ He leans down and laughs. ‘You went exactly where I wanted you to go. Exactly where John was waiting for you.’ He sits again, his thighs pressing hard against my hips and his cruel eyes never leaving sight of my face which is probably looking horrified as the reality starts to set in.
‘John? The guy that grabbed me in the kitchen?’
‘The guy I ordered to grab you. You see, not much happens in that house unless I want it to. I needed you to see how much of a risk you are to others without my protection. And what better way, than to make you into a weapon that could destroy the man I knew you were falling for. And not to mention Amara, of course. John did everything perfectly. He made you lose control so I could get the cuff on you. Then he showed you exactly what would happen if you did leave me. I needed you to understand how dangerous you really are. And then you begged me to let you stay. Only then would I get what I needed. Something to make sure you could never, ever run from me again.’ He reaches to the collar of his shirt and pulls out the deep red Bloodstone that he has hanging from a chain.
‘The Bloodstone?’ I look at it dangling there. ‘You think I’ll willingly keep a binding spell on? You’re delusional. You can’t keep me chained up. Gabriel won’t let you. Neither will Collins. You’ll lose your entire Coven and I’ll refuse-’
‘Yeah, yeah. You’ll refuse to do the spell. I know. I know. But I have no intention of keeping you tied up. I do, however, plan on keeping you on a very tight leash.’
‘Oh yeah?’ I snarl, getting more and more murderous thoughts with every one of his words. ‘And how do you plan on doing that when I can kill you where you stand.’
‘With your magic, you can kill me where I stand. Without it…’ he laughs a low, cruel laugh. He has something planned. Something terrible.
He pulls out a knife from his pocket. I eye it nervously as he holds it in front of me.
‘Are you going to kill me?’ I laugh, knowing full well he won’t. He needs me.
‘I could never kill you. That’s not what this is for,’ he says, looking at the knife lovingly. ‘This is for your new binding spell.’
‘My what?’
‘I watched you almost destroy my house and toss my men around like they were nothing but ants in your way. You took control of Hendrix. He almost killed me before I knocked him out, and then there was your rage-filled mass execution of the Traitor army. Well, it’s safe to say I can’t have you running around with all that power. Power that you have barely scratched the surface of. You may use it against me. I mean, that new fire of yours!’ he whistles through his teeth. ‘That’s something special. You’re already more powerful than me, and you still have three more realms of power to manifest. You could leave me and my coven a smouldering wreck if you wish.’
‘I want to bring down the veil. I want the Nomads to be free! I do. That’s the truth. But if you don’t untie me right now, I will fucking destroy everything.’
But he shakes his head, ignoring my threats completely.
‘Maybe that’s what you want now. To bring the veil down. To be part of the new world. But what if you decide you want to rule the Coven? What if you change your mind? The truth is I need to keep you close. I need to keep you where I can see you or at least where I can find you. The cuff worked temporarily, but I need something more…permanent.’
‘Permanent?’ I look at the knife in his hand. ‘Grayson… what are you going to do?’
‘What I should have done the night I met you.’
He takes the knife and uses it to slice the sleeve of my shirt off before holding out his hand and sliding the blade across his palm. I wince as he cuts deep. Blood pools thick and fast in his cupped hand until it spills out between his fingers and drips onto my exposed forearm.
‘What the hell are you doing?!’ I gasp. It’s repulsive. Wrong.
‘Don’t move,’ he orders as he rests his bloody palm down by my wrist. Slowly he smears a thick streak of his blood along my forearm. It’s enough to make me gag.
He drops the knife and looks at the fire. He reaches out his hand and the long stick he was poking into the flames a few moments ago soars through the air and lands in his outstretched hand. It’s not a stick at all, but a metal rod. The end of the rod is glowing red hot and stretches out in a series of long curves. The heat of the metal compared to the chill in the air has it steaming and groaning as the metal expands. He brings it closer for a visual inspection. I see it’s not just curving. It’s letters.
It’s a word.
Nexasanguinum.
It’s the binding spell.
‘What the hell are you doing!’ I demand, not taking my eyes off the glowing metal. He continues looking at the rod and nods approvingly.
‘Yes, this will do nicely.’ He looks down at me. ‘I had this made when I met you,’ he says. ‘Just in case you misbehaved. I never wanted to brand you, Lilly, but you really have left me with no choice.’
‘Brand!’ I start to struggle again. ‘Don’t you dare. DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE!!!’
I’m pulling at the restraints around my wrist as if my life depends on it. It does. If he brands me, I’ll be helpless forever. I’ll lose my magic.
I’m screaming. Pulling so hard I think my wrists will break, but I don’t care. I kick out my legs. I try and buck him off, but all of my efforts are less than pointless. He merely watches and waits.
‘Are you done?’ he asks as my efforts start to slow. I’m not getting free. Not with force. Reasoning is all I have left.
‘Don’t,’ I plead. ‘Don’t do this, Grayson. If you brand me, I won’t have my magic. I can’t do your spell without my magic.’
‘Don’t worry about that. I’ve used my blood.’ He gestures to the thick streak of red on my arm. ‘The brand and my blood will link us, just as the blood in the Bloodstone has. Hence why I was so very keen to make this with you. You see, the Bloodstone gives me control of when and if you have access to your magic. It works with the binding spell. A binding spell like this,’ he uses the red-hot metal to gesture to the cuff on my wrist. ‘Or a binding spell seared into your flesh with this.’ He hovers the rod an inch from my eye. The heat makes them water. ‘Unless…’
‘Unless what?’
Again, his eyes drift down to my chest and a slimy smirk appears. With his free hand, he runs his thumb across my lower lip.
‘Would you reconsider furthering your bloodline with me?’
‘I can’t.’
‘Then this is the only way.’
‘Grayson, stop! Listen to me! I can’t have kids. I can’t!’
‘You can’t?’ he asks unsure if he can believe me.
‘The scars on my belly, Toby made them. So I couldn’t have children. I can’t further the bloodline even if I wanted to. And I love your brother.’
He leans down, his thumb still resting on my lip. When his nose rests against mine, he gives a small laugh.
‘You expect me to believe that?’
‘If you force yourself on me, I’ll tear you limb from fucking limb.’
‘Are you threatening me?’
‘You better believe it.’
He laughs a little harder and looks longingly at my lips. ‘And I believe you. Truth is, the doctor told me that you may not be able to conceive when she saw your scars. The positioning of them would make it unlikely. So you’re useless to me in that respect. And you have made it clear that you don’t care for me that way. And Collins, as well as Gabriel will leave if I refuse to let you be together.’ He sighs and gives a shrug. ‘But, you are still my Arcane. I need you. And I cannot allow you to leave me or my coven.’
‘Well,’ I have to force myself to speak. ‘That’s not your choice, is it!’
‘It’s not yours either.’
‘Everything you said, that you’ll give us your blessing, that you’ll back off, it was all lies.’
‘No. It wasn’t. I give you my blessing. You and Gabriel love each other. So be together. I not only allow it but encourage it.’
‘Then let me go, put down the branding iron and take me back to Gabriel. I’ll forget this ever happened.’ That’s a lie. He’s not getting away with this. Not at all. ‘Let me go, Grayson.’
He sits up and looks around him at the darkness of this horrible place. It’s tainted here. I can feel the evil in the walls. The things this place has seen and may yet still have to witness. But he doesn’t get off. He doesn’t lower the iron. He’s thinking.
‘This will work. You and Gabriel will stand by my side. You will have each other, and I will have your magic to use as I wish,’ he tells himself. ‘If I don’t brand you, you’ll leave. I’ll lose everything. This is the only way.’ He sits back and holds the brand over my arm. I can feel the heat already and it’s unbearable. ‘I won’t let you leave me. You or my brother. You’ll stay, bring down the veil, help me destroy the Hunters as well as Theo, and we will find your cousin. He can further the Hooper bloodline instead of you.’
He can’t do this! As he starts manoeuvring the glowing metal above my blood streaked arm, I begin to scream again, but this time its threats.
‘YOU DO THIS, I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!’
‘WATCH YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH, LILLY!’ he bellows. ‘I WON’T ASK AGAIN!’
‘You’re a dead man. Brand or no brand.’
‘Is that so?’ he laughs. ‘Let me put your position in a way you will understand. You will have no magic unless I deem fit to give it to you. You can’t run because I will find you-’
‘I will never read your journal,’ I warn. ‘You do this to me and I swear I’ll never read your damn journal! Fuck your spell.’
‘I warned you about your foul mouth. Swear one more time, I’ll cut your damn tongue out.’
I lay beneath him terrified. Beyond terrified. But I pull my courage together, what there is of it and repeat my warning.
‘Grayson,’ I say firmly, even as I shake all over. ‘If you brand me, I will not do your spell. I mean it.’
‘Oh yes, you will,’ he says in a forced calm, taking his aggressive pointing finger and using it to gently tuck my hair behind my ear. ‘Because if you don’t, if you hinder this spell, if you try and run or fight me in any way, if you so much as vex me, Lilly Hooper, I will make sure Amara knows nothing but misery, pain and suffering till the day she dies.’ His eyes get darker and darker as he issues me his threats. My heart almost stops at the idea of her being hurt. But he’s not done. ‘You will behave and do exactly as I ask of you because if you don’t, I will lock up Gabriel and have bits of him handed to you every time you disobey me. As well as Collins.’ He looks me right in the eye. ‘You will stop with the vulgar language and the disrespect, or you will be the reason your friends suffer and die. Now,’ he leans in closer. ‘You look me in the eyes and tell me if you think I’m bluffing.’
I know he’s not. I know with every fibre of my being that he’ll do exactly as he threatens. Gabriel did too, which is why he went to such lengths to push me away.
‘AM I BLUFFING?’ he bellows in my face making me sink back further into the floor, ignoring my words completely. ‘You could have had the nice Grayson. I tried to give him to you. I was sweet. I was caring. But that wasn’t enough for you. So this is who you get.’
‘This is the real you. Everything else was just a lie.’
He shrugs and turns his attention back to the brand.
I turn primal.
‘GABRIEL WILL KILL YOU IF YOU DO THIS TO ME! HE WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!’
‘Then you better persuade him not to.’ He stands, wraps both his handles around the hilt and positions the glowing hot metal an inch from my arm. He looks at me. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘No, you’re not,’ I say with an angry, lost sob.
‘No,’ he shrugs. ‘I’m really not. You should have just fallen in love with me like you were supposed to.’
He thrusts the rod down and slams the hot metal into my skin.
My screams are beyond desperate and filled with such agony. The cracking of my burning flesh is nowhere near as bad as the smell. It’s like burnt meat on a grill. He presses it harder into my skin making my shrieks even more desperate. Losing my fingers is nothing compared to this pain. My whole body feels it. Every nerve is screaming out with me. My legs judder and I thrash. There’s smoke coming from my flesh. It makes my eyes water and burns my nostrils.
As the sizzling eases, he peels the red hot metal from my skin taking chunks of melted flesh with it and casts the branding iron to the floor out of reach. I lay between his legs as he towers over me, staring at my arm.
He did it! He actually did it!
He branded me.
The binding spell’s been seared into my arm forever. My eyes go up where just beyond the mark is the blood-soaked bandage that covers the empty space where two of my fingers should be. I can’t say anything. I can’t cry. I can’t scream. I lay here completely and utterly silent with my mouth open in shock. He reaches up to my wrist and removes the cuff with a swipe of his bloody knife. When it’s gone, I still can’t feel my magic.
He smiles happily and undoes the belt around my wrists before getting to his feet.
Slowly, I roll over and wince as my arm screams out in protest at every single piece of movement.
I sit myself up, holding my arm gingerly with my hand. The word Nexasanguinum is blistering. It’s an angry redraw and charred black mess that hurts beyond comprehension, but as I look up at Grayson who stands with absolute smugness, I fill with hatred. I don’t care if I have no magic. I don’t care he’s muscled and skilled at fighting.
With a scream, I charge at him hard, slamming into his chest and knocking him to the floor.
‘I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!’ I shriek, my fists slamming into his face again and again. But with one punch from him, I fall off his body and land on my side. When I go to resume my attack, he grabs my arm, right over my brand making a fresh bout of agony shoot through my body and a high pitched, blood-curdling scream explode from deep within. He tightens his grip till I can’t take anymore and fall subdued on my knees a sobbing, gasping mess.
‘I’ll let that outburst pass,’ he says. ‘But I meant what I said. You and Gabriel are free to be together. I will not interfere. Not at all. In return, you will bring down the veil for me. And if you try to leave, I will find you with the Bloodstone. And Amara, Collins and Gabriel will pay the price.’ He twists my arm making me sob against the sheer agony. ‘If they turn against me, they will pay the price. But if you all do as you’re told, you can all live happily ever after. And no more swearing. Do you hear me? I won’t have my Arcane sounding like an uncouth peasant.’ When I don’t answer, he twists it further. ‘DO YOU HEAR ME?’
‘I HEAR YOU!’
He lets me go with a shove. I pull my arm close to my chest in a bid to protect it. As he starts collecting his things, I watch him.
He picks up his jacket and puts it on. ‘Now, let’s get home and see how your beloved is, shall we?’
