Tobias holds me in his arms and Collins leads the way with an unconscious Gabriel tossed over his shoulder. We rush through the woods and reach a car parked on a dirt track, concealed by large blackberry bushes. Connor is there, loading something in the boot as we rush towards him.
‘You got her?’ he asks, closing the boot and rushing to meet us. He looks at me, in Tobias’s arms, with a relieved smile. ‘Hey, you. Gave us a bit of a scare back there.’ He takes hold of the ends of my hair. ‘Did I ever tell you how much I prefer you as a red head?’
‘Hey,’ I reply weakly.
‘Woah… WHOAH!’ he stammers. ‘What the fuck is that doing here?’ Connor looks past me to the figure thrown over Collins’ shoulder and instantly pulls out a gun. From his angle, all he can see is the telltale coat of Theo’s monstrous right-hand man and not the form that is hidden beneath it.
‘It’s Gabriel,’ Tobias confesses as he turns to face them.
‘Gabriel?’ Connor repeats in a shocked whisper, watching with wide eyes as Collins carries him past. ‘But I thought he was dead?’
‘I’ll put him in the boot,’ Collins says as he passes us, not even raising his head to look at us. I watch how his feet drag in the dirt and smell the heavy liquor seeping from his pores as he draws closer.
‘Erm. Boot’s full,’ Connor tells him, holstering his weapon and following him to the car. ‘There’s room in the back seat.’ They both go to the car and start manoeuvring Gabriel into the footwell, ensuring his hands are still secure.
‘Are you sure we should head to the cottage?’ I ask Tobias.
‘It’s close and Theo doesn’t know about it,’ he replies, nodding to himself. ‘Yeah. That’s exactly where we need to go.’
‘We’re ready!’ Connor calls over.
Tobias heads over to the car with me still in his arms. ‘C’mon. Let’s get you home.’
∞∞∞
We’re in the car for a couple of hours. As we travel, I syphon Collins’s magic and heal myself with his Physical realm of power. So I’m feeling physically better, but my head still pounds and I’m so tired I could cry.
The moon is high by the time we arrive at the cottage. Collins leaves the car before it has even stopped, muttering incoherently about the misery of sobering up and threatening the universe that there better be some whiskey here. I follow close behind as Connor and Tobias carry the still unconscious Gabriel across the drive and into the cottage. I linger behind as they head inside and take a moment to look at the darkened doorway to this little cottage, nestled on the cliffs and overlooking the sea. As the wind whips across my ears, I hear the echoed laughter and joy that was shared here the last time I stood within these walls. When I was with Amara, putting on my wedding dress, while the others prepared the beach below for the impromptu wedding Gabriel and I decided to have.
Before I was snatched by Grayson’s thug and handed over to the psycho. Who then lost me to another psycho. The same man who now lingers by the door, politely ushering me to join him inside as he checks the surrounding area with darting eyes and a clenched jawline. I nod and head inside.
The smell has far from improved. The mustiness has grown worse since I was last here almost a year and a half ago. But most of it seems the same, except for the large number of empty liquor bottles that lie abandoned on various sideboards and tables. I pass the kitchen where Collins is sipping from a bottom shelf whisky and carry on to the stairs where I can hear Connor shifting around in one of the bedrooms above.
As I walk through the hallway, something catches my attention in the lounge. I go inside and flick on the light. The bulb must have blown as the room remains in darkness. In front of the window, I can see a single armchair facing out to the sea. I stand beside it and softly gasp.
Outside, positioned perfectly visible to the chosen placement of this chair, is an evergreen tree planted in the earth. It must be at least eight feet high. Lights twinkle in a beautifully elegant rhythm, illuminating the silver stars that garnish its branches. At the very top is an angel. Her feathered wings flutter in the ocean breeze as she admires the splendour below her.
‘Are you okay?’ Tobias asks tentatively from the lounge door.
‘Fine,’ I tell him. He walks over and stops beside me to watch the lights sway hypnotically. ‘How did you know about this place?’ I ask him.
‘Connor told me about it. He said Gabriel brought you here to get married. Connor also told me that Gabriel and Jensen used it while they were trying to catch you, back when you were Broken.’ He glances at me. ‘It’s safe. That’s what matters.’
‘Safe…’ I whisper, a little disbelievingly. ‘Not sure anywhere is safe but at least it’s familiar. I loved everything about this cottage when we came here. How it overlooks the sea. The cosy size of the rooms. How it smells.’
He gives a slight sniff and fails to appreciate the scent.
‘Gabriel told me that when this was all over, he would build me this house when we reach the Arcane Realm. That he would find these very cliffs and carve the same path into the cliff-face so we can reach the ocean every single day. He said that we would sit out there.’ I gesture to the grass between us and the sheer drop ahead. ‘That I would write stories, and he would watch me as our dog’s head rested on his lap. That together, we would watch a thousand sunrises and sunsets.’ A lump builds in my throat. ‘That we would have a Christmas tree in the garden and keep it decorated all year through to make up for all the Christmases I was never able to celebrate.’
‘He planted you a tree,’ he says, taking a moment to admire it out there alone in the dark. ‘He must have done this when you Broke.’
I nod. ‘Him and my dad. They wanted to bring me somewhere safe and happy, to try and fix me.’ I close the curtains. ‘It was a pipe dream. That’s all. Time we faced reality.’
I turn on my heel and make my way upstairs.
I find Connor in the same bedroom where I once put on my wedding dress. Gabriel is on the bed with his hands and feet cuffed to the bedposts. His eyes remain closed and his body is limp, allowing Connor to move him easily enough. His vile leather coat has been removed and tossed in the far corner. Smudges of blood have stained the carpet where it landed, and I shudder at the sight.
‘Fetch Collins,’ I say to no one in particular. ‘We need all the hands we can muster. And grab a bowl and some clean towels. We need to clean this blood off him.’
‘I’ll clean him up, Lilly,’ Connor offers.
‘It’s my father’s blood and he’s my husband. I’ll clean it!’ I snap at him, unwilling to meet his gaze as I head towards the bed.
‘I’ll get Collins and the bowl,’ Tobias says, rushing out to the landing.
I sit on the edge of the bed and lean over to Gabriel, running my fingers over the solid metal mask encasing the lower half of his face.
‘It’s welded shut,’ Connor says, sitting on Gabriel’s other side and inspecting the contraption with me. ‘And you see here?’ He points out the odd inscriptions carved into the steel running the length of his jaw. ‘It’s some kind of binding, I think.’
‘That’s exactly what it is. Gabriel had me in something similar back when I was Broken.’ I lift his chin to get a better look at what’s beneath. ‘Perhaps there is a catch hidden under his jaw or maybe… oh… what is that?’ Connor helps me tilt his head back as far as it will go. There’s a hefty amount of dried blood marking his throat. I pull down the front of his shirt and see that it’s on his chest too. ‘Oh my god. It’s coming from his mouth.’
‘This blood is old,’ Connor remarks. He starts picking at it. ‘It’s as if more blood has trickled over the old, dried stuff, creating layer upon layer. If I were to hazard a guess…’
‘Hazard away.’
‘Theo probably cut his tongue out so he couldn’t compel anyone with his words.’
That thought sends a shiver down my spine.
‘We need to get it off him,’ I insist, imagining how much pain he must be in.
‘You sure it’s safe? I mean, he’s done some pretty bad stuff. We don’t know what he’s going to be like when he wakes up.’
‘I don’t know, Connor,’ I sigh, running my fingers through my hair and shrugging. ‘What the hell else can we do? Leave it on him? Leave him tied up? Look at him. He’s skin and bones. How long has it been on him, huh? When did he last take it off and eat?’
‘He doesn’t need to eat, Lilly.’
‘Of course he eats! I’ve seen him eat. He eats like a horse.’
‘Yeah, he should eat, but he doesn’t technically need to. None of them do. Collins. Theo. Grayson, or Tobias. The immortality spell. The one that keeps them young it also helps them heal. The damage caused by starvation is mended before it can kill. The same with dehydration.’ He looks down at Gabriel with anguish. ‘But he would feel the pain of it. The aching hunger and the all-consuming thirst. If he’s had this on since he was Broken, then he would be in agony. Six months of being on the brink of starvation, I can’t even-’
‘Stop it!’ I snap. ‘Shut up, alright! I can’t… I don’t want to hear it.’ I rest my hand over Gabriel’s forehead and syphon his power. ‘He’s out cold. He’s silent in there.’
‘So, he could still be the way he was? What if he wakes up and goes back to… The Grey-Cloak.’
‘And what if I snap and turn into the Broken Arcane again? We’re running out of time and options. This isn’t a discussion. We’re taking off the muzzle and making sure he’s not seriously injured. Worse case, we can always put it back on him if he proves difficult. His hair is back to brown and his eyes turned back to blue. I think he’s him again.’
‘We can’t be sure, though.’
‘Nope.’
‘You really want to do this?’
‘He’s only like this because of me. Because of what I did.’
‘What you did when you were Broken.’
‘Theo caught him because I handed him over. I may as well have done this myself.’
‘I got the bowl,’ Tobias says as he strides through the room, bowl of water and pile of clean-ish towels in hand.
‘Where’s Collins?’
‘Erm…’
‘Is he drinking?!’ I snap. Tobias nods, keeping his focus on the towels as he does. I look back at the door and seriously consider going to get him myself. Instead, I keep my connection to Gabriel and shout out my compulsion, ‘COLLINS! PUT DOWN THAT BOTTLE AND MAKE A POT OF STRONG COFFEE! KEEP DRINKING IT UNTIL YOU’RE SOBER! NO MORE ALCOHOL. YOU HEAR ME?’
A bottle slams down on the kitchen table, and he calls back in a violent slur.
‘FUCK YOU!’
‘YOU HEAR ME?!’
‘LIKE I HAVE A DAMNED CHOICE NOT TO!’
His furious muttering and banging travel up the stairs as he succumbs to my compulsion.
‘A sober Collins is not a pleasant Collins,’ Connor mutters as he continues examining the mask.
‘I need a sober Collins and I need him as soon as possible,’ I reply. ‘Okay. Tobias? Could I use your magic, please?’ He places the towels down and stands beside me, gripping my hand. ‘I’ll try and melt the metal each side of his face. Then we can just slide it off.’
‘I’m still not convinced,’ Connor chimes in. He glances between Tobias and I. ‘Look. I have no idea where you went, Lilly. And I’m not pushing for an explanation right now. But we’ve been here while he was The Grey-Cloak, okay? Yes, he was Broken. But he sided with Theo. He stood by his side. He tore his own people apart. Your dad-’
‘It’s not as simple as that.’
‘He has a point, Lilly,’ Tobias agrees.
‘Tobias?’ I cut in, looking him dead in the eye. ‘Do you happen to recall locking me up in your pit of torment on the day I was supposed to get married?’
He turns pale and gives a single nod.
‘Do you also recall your plans for me?’
Slowly he nods but continues to look confused as I wait for it to click.
‘You didn’t just want to Break me, did you?’
‘No. No I… I…’ His eyes widen as they slowly move to Gabriel and his already pale face turns ashen. ‘Oh dear lord.’
‘I’m lost,’ Connor says.
‘There’s a way, isn’t there? To take control of a witch.’ I raise my brow, almost accusatory at Tobias. ‘Would you like to explain it to Connor?’
‘Theo didn’t…’
‘Yeah,’ I reply through gritted teeth. ‘Theo did.’
Tobias sprints into the bathroom across the hall, where he starts being violently ill. I return to Gabriel and brush his hair from his painfully gaunt face.
‘I still don’t-’
‘There’s a spell. A ritual,’ I tell Connor. ‘If it is performed at the moment a witch suffers a Break, it allows that person to take complete control over that witch. Tell them to peel off their own face and to smile while they do it, and they will. The will of that witch is stolen completely. They have no control over their actions.’
‘And that’s what Theo did to Gabriel?’
I nod and listen to the flush of the toilet. Soon after, Tobias returns a trembling wreck.
‘You did this before, right?’ I ask Tobias. ‘You said that you tested this spell out on another girl to see if it would work and you said it did. Was that the truth? Or were you just trying to scare me?’
‘It was the truth,’ he admits shamefully. ‘I made her do truly terrible things and she wasn’t capable of defying me. No matter what…’ He swallows dryly. ‘No matter what I told her to do.’
‘Did her eyes go grey and bloodshot?’
He nods.
‘Gabriel’s eyes were grey and bloodshot when I first saw him, before his Break mended itself. Is there a way to undo it?’ I try to push down the extreme hatred I hold for Toby Smith and remind myself over and over that the man standing here now is not the same monster. ‘Can we unlink him from Theo? Perhaps he already has. His hair is back to normal and his eyes-’
‘I don’t think so,’ Tobias interrupts, slowly shaking his head. ‘Lilly. Even if he overcomes the Break, I think he’ll still be compelled to obey Theo.’
‘You can’t know that for sure.’
‘The girl he did it to, that I did it to, I left her. Her family, what was left of them, they tried to fix her but they couldn’t. She just screamed for her master until she died.’
‘Was she still Broken, though?’
‘She was. Overcoming a Break is rare, but still, we have to assume that Gabriel’s under Theo’s control.’ He drags his hand through his long hair. ‘A-are you s-sure?’ he asks pleadingly. ‘I mean, Theo’s a lot of things. But to do that to him?’
‘I’m sure. I saw it in Gabriel’s memories. Theo tortured him in ways you couldn’t even imagine. He made Gabriel believe he had found me. That he had our baby. And he made him watch as-’
‘Don’t.’ Tobias holds up his hand and looks at me desperately. ‘I can’t…’
‘As he was Breaking…’ I take a courage-inducing breath as I look back at Gabriel. ‘He raped him. Poured his blood down his throat and said the incantation that claimed his will for his own.’
‘Jesus-fucking-christ,’ Connor hisses. ‘His own son?’
‘No.’ I look at them both in turn. ‘Theo isn’t Gabriel’s biological father. That’s at least one mercy.’
‘He’s not?’ They both speak at the same time.
‘No. You never wondered why Gabriel has blue eyes when neither his mother nor father did? Or how he was the only one to be born with Mental magic when neither your mum nor dad held that power? No. Gabriel isn’t Theo’s son. He’s your half-brother. Not that it makes what happened to him any more bearable, but it makes it less sadistic, I suppose.’ I feel bile rising in my throat. ‘This is all my fault. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t betrayed you all. If I hadn’t Broken and traded you over.’
‘I’m going to kill him. I’m going to tear Theo to pieces.’
‘Not today we’re not, Tobias. Today, we’re going to bring our family back together.’ I stretch out my fingers to him. ‘What’s left of it.’
With a painful nod, Tobias returns to my side and I utter the words that let me access his power.
My fire ignites on the tips of my fingers as I press them into the metal behind Gabriel’s ear. It burns hot and focused, slowly making its way through the thick steel. I then do the same to the other side, and we pull the back part of the mask away.
But when we pull at the front, it refuses to budge. Gabriel’s head moves right along with it and with each attempt we make to get it off, more and more blood starts to slide down his neck.
‘STOP!’ Connor shouts suddenly, pushing us away. ‘Stop. Don’t touch it.’ His eyes dart left to right as his brain struggles to organise the thoughts crashing through his mind. ‘It’s a grip,’ he states.
‘A what?’
‘A grip, Lilly.’ He starts tapping his own mouth as if to push the point further. ‘It’s an old device. One used back in the war five hundred years ago. On the other side of the mask are two narrow spikes that are curved. One points upwards and the other down. It’s put into the victim’s open mouth, the jaw usually needs to be dislocated for it to fit,’ he adds with a grimace. ‘Then the mouth is forced closed. The spikes embed into the roof of the mouth and through the tongue and lower jaw, gripping it shut.’
‘Fucking hell!’ I gasp, looking down at the thankfully still unconscious Gabriel.
‘Every time he tries to speak, it will tear further into him. That’s why there’s so much fresh blood. He’s been trying to talk.’
‘Maybe Theo couldn’t control Gabriel’s words?’ Tobias offers, still shaking and looking nauseated. ‘Despite having control over him?’
‘Gabriel told me to sleep,’ I realise, only now figuring out why I fell asleep so suddenly in that cage. ‘I heard a voice in my head telling me to go to sleep and I did. Perhaps Theo’s control is limited. He can control Gabriel’s actions, not his mind. Gabriel manipulated Hunters not to sense magic. Not to recognise me if they ever saw me. Gabriel managed to defy him, even after the spell.’
‘Not enough to stop himself butchering and killing his own people though,’ Connor mutters.
‘Either way, Gabriel’s in pain and we need to help him.’
I raise on my knees and take hold of Gabriel’s face, slowly and carefully melting more and more of the metal away until only a small section remains over his lips. We wiggle and manoeuvre the steel to dislodge the spikes that are embedded into his mouth. But all we achieve is making him bleed more. We’re so focused on trying to figure out how to get it off that no one notices his eyes flickering open. Not until I look up and see them spring open myself.
Gabriel roars furiously and tries to lunge at me. He stretches out, the chains around his wrists strain to their limit as he pulls and tugs at them.
As I touch his skin and syphon his power, I hear his thoughts.
“Return to Master! RETURN TO MASTER! KILL THEM ALL AND RETURN TO MASTER!”
They grow louder and far more aggressive.
The chain around his left wrist snaps. He’s pulling so hard, he accidentally slams his fist into Connor’s face, knocking him off the bed with a bloody nose. When he reaches out to me, I flinch, but instead of violence, he pushes me off the bed. Tobias immediately rushes to help me on my feet and holds me back as I attempt to return to Gabriel’s side. Before I can get anywhere near the bed, Gabriel has taken hold of the metal covering his mouth.
I’m honestly stunned into a stone statue-like stance, watching in horror as he starts pulling it off. He roars in pain, torturously and slowly prising it further and further away. Blood pours from his mouth and his already ashen face loses what blood it held. His eyes roll into the back of his head as the pain he’s inflicting upon himself overwhelms him. With a firm shake of his head, he refocuses and slides his fingers further into the small gap between the steel and his skin. The sound of tearing flesh and breaking bones make me grab ahold of Tobias.
Gabriel pulls and he pulls, yelling and screaming, more in a fury than in pain, until, with a final shout, he rips the grip free from his face and tosses it to the floor with a thud.
He gurgles on the extreme amount of blood pooling in his mouth before sinking into the pillows and rolling from side to side.
‘COLLINS! I NEED YOU!’ I scream, pushing Tobias away and grabbing one of the towels placed on the bedside table. I press it over the mess of Gabriel’s mouth and feel it soon become wet with blood. He continues moaning as I tilt his head to stop him from choking. ‘COLLINS! PLEASE!’ Gabriel’s free hand reaches out as he tries to face me. Each time he lays on his back he starts to choke, so I keep forcing him on his side. His hand rests on my bare knee and then my arm. He just wants to touch me. But all he’s achieving is smothering me in more of his blood. Beneath the towel, his mumbles become more deliberate. He pulls at my hand so he can speak beyond the towel.
‘I’m sorry,’ he says.
The sight of his torn mouth is not only heartbreaking but also repulsive. On the mattress are two of his teeth that were ripped out in his stupid actions.
‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m-’
‘COLLINS!’ I yell.
‘What?’ Collins grumbles angrily as he appears in the doorway. ‘Whoah…’
‘Help me!’ I reach out my hand to him, which he takes.
Collins looks down at Gabriel. ‘What the fuck did you do to him?’
‘The prat did it to himself.’ I take the teeth by my knee and force them back into the mess of his gums. He rolls about, either in too much pain to want me near him, or determined to feel the pain as some kind of penance. When he buries his face in the pillow and starts batting me away, I lose patience. I grab at his hair and force him to look at me.
‘Stop being so fucking stupid and lie still!’ When he pulls away again, I slap the side of his face and point a finger straight at him. ‘Stop it. Stop. We’ve all done shit we regret, okay!’
‘M-monster…’ he gurgles, struggling to look at me. ‘I’m m-monster. Let me die.’
‘No. No way. Lie still-’
‘KILL ME!’ he bellows, blood and teeth flying from his mouth. ‘I’m a monster. Fucking k-kill me!’
‘You’re my fucking monster. Got that?! And I bloody need you so stop moving and let me fix you!’
He shakes his head and starts weeping. The words he’s saying are jumbled and far from clear, but his insistence on not letting me near his messed up face is apparent. I throw my leg over him and grab his face roughly, pinning it down as I shove in his teeth. As he looks up me, his eyes start to go bloodshot again and the blue of his eyes begins to fade. He then becomes angry, thrashing and growling beneath me. I hold on tighter. His hand reaches out and wraps around my throat.
‘Take to Master!’ he says through a mouth full of blood. ‘Take her to-’
I slam his mouth shut, but there’s so much blood it’s almost impossible to keep it sealed. Collins grabs his hand and squeezes, crushing it until he releases me. My palm and my fingers spread across his face as Collins takes my outstretched hand. I syphon his power, accessing the healing aspect of his Physical magic and pour it into Gabriel. He continues thrashing beneath me, calling out for his master. The more I heal him, the fiercer his attempts to break free become. His teeth settle back into his shredded gums. The fractured bones mend and the flesh that has been torn apart stitches back together. The swelling and bruising ease and the blood stops spewing. When he’s put back together, I swiftly let go of Collins and grab at Gabriel’s head, delving into his thoughts and stealing his power to shift through the addled mess of his mind.
I close my eyes and push deep.
Through the fog of pain and the chaos of despair.
I cringe at the memories I see, fighting the urge to scream at the suffering he’s gone through and the need to wreak some vengeance on his behalf. I wade through the anger I feel as I watch him mutilate person after person, controlled by this deranged voice inside that keeps calling him to return to his master. I push on past it all. The volume of the rabid one who calls for him to return to Theo is almost deafening. It hurts to hear it. Outside, I hear the others calling my name and feel them trying to pull me off. Gabriel is violently fighting against my intrusion. I hear the clanging of the metal and the groaning of the bed as he tries to buck me off. But it’s not Gabriel resisting me. It’s the other part of him. The Broken part. And the closer I get to that creature, the more I feel mine start to claw at her cage. I hear her taunting voice call out, telling me that this is all my fault. That I must return the cruelty he inflicted on my father. To keep him tethered there as I slice him open and pull out his insides.
Flashes shoot across my mind, showing me the sight of my dad thrashing as he’s torn apart. His face keeps changing, turning into Gabriel’s. I laugh as he suffers. I take joy in it.
I shout out with fierce determination and press my fingers deeper into his flesh. Blood starts to slide down the back of my throat and nose as I push my tired mind and exhausted body, which are both already at their limit, and do what I need to do.
‘Lilly, that’s enough,’ Collins says, taking hold of my arm. ‘You’re bleeding. Stop whatever you’re doing and get off him before you really hurt yourself! You can’t heal yourself from this kind of damage!’
‘GET OUT!’ I roar, still channelling Gabriel’s power. I hear them all leave, overwhelmed by my compulsion.
Gabriel yells. I yell. My head is on fire and I know that his is too. His pain only makes mine worse as I keep working him. I tear at the entity within him, controlling his actions and destroying its need to return to Theo at any cost. It appears to me like thick, black smoke, and I rip it apart as it smothers me. I take that voice, that smoke, that entity, and I eradicate it, silencing it for good. His need to return to Theo, his all-consuming compulsion to lash out and destroy any who stand between him and his master, I take it and burn it to ash.
When I open my eyes and look down at him, he’s still, with closed eyes. I release him and sever our connection before sliding off his body and sitting with my head in my hands at his bedside. I let myself have a moment. I let a few tears fall and a couple of sobs shake free from my body before slamming my hands on my knees and getting slowly to my feet.
The pain can wait. The heartbreak and suffering… it must wait. I need to be strong and I need to carry on if I am to overcome what lies ahead.
Tiredly, I go to the door and open it up, coming face to face with Collins, Connor and Tobias.
‘Jesus, Lilly!’ Tobias rushes forwards and wipes away the thick trail of blood spilling from my nose. ‘You’re really hurt! What did you do?’
‘He won’t try to leave now,’ I mumble, walking past them all and heading towards the stairs. I rest against the wall to catch my breath, waiting for everything to stop shifting in and out of focus. ‘I silenced the voice telling him to return to Theo. The Break is still there, and I don’t know if he’ll obey any future orders from Theo, but I’ve removed the ones he’s currently under. He won’t try to leave.’
‘So that’s it?’ Collins asks, a belch following his words. ‘He’s all better and all is forgiven?’
‘I don’t fucking know, Collins. Am I forgiven for handing him over to Theo in the first place?’ I snap. ‘Shouldn’t you be drinking coffee or something?’
I slide along the wall as I make my way down the landing, leaving behind a trail of blood in my wake. My blood. Gabriel’s. Probably my dad’s.
‘Two days,’ I tell them. ‘We have two days.’
‘Until?’
‘The next spell. The final spell.’ I open the bathroom door and step inside. ‘We got two days.’
‘How do you know that?’ Collins asks.
‘Because I remember everything,’ I reply, exhausted and sore.
I flick on the light and slam the door shut before slumping to the floor and closing my eyes. My head burns, filled to the brim with my lost memories and world-shattering truths that both fill me with joy and dread all at the same time.
∞∞∞
The bulb in this drafty bathroom flickers and hums, threatening to blow at any second. I watch the sinister shadows on the mildew covered ceiling and the chipped tiles that barely cling to the wall as I rest on the edge of the bath. The water cascades from the tap as I drag my fingers through the surface of the water. When the tub has become full, I pull off this hideous grey smock I’m wearing and slide into the water. My eyes close and I let out a long sigh as I listen to the odd drop of water from the tap.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
Beyond the door, Tobias and Connor talk in muffled whispers as they pass. They discuss how best to clean up Gabriel and the copious amount of blood he’s covered in. They debate how best to restrain him and if they should restrain him in the first place.
Is he normal again? Is he dangerous?
Am I?
I sink below the water to drown out their voices and open my eyes, looking up at the darkened ceiling through the rippling water.
But the water fails to drown out the sound of my thoughts and my worries.
The final stone is in less than forty-eight hours and everything is in such a mess.
I close my eyes. Seconds pass and my need to breathe takes hold. I open them back up to see a figure standing over the bath. Their form is distorted with the rippling water, but it’s clear who it is that leers over me now, in that hideous grey coat. I scream, releasing the air held in my lungs and sending out a blast of bubbles as I go to resurface. He reaches down and pins me under, pressing my shoulders to the bottom of the bath as my arms and legs wildly kick out. Water flies everywhere as I try desperately to get Gabriel to release me. To let me back up and not kill me. His hands wrap around my throat and squeeze. As I look up at him, I stare in confusion as his form starts to shift and now, instead of my husband, it’s my mother who holds me down. Her long hair falls over her face and her harsh growling travels clear through the water.
‘My Jensen is dead because of you! It’s all your fault!’ she says.
My need to breathe is at its limit. If I don’t get free from this water soon, I’m going to drown.
I blink again.
My long-dead mother has vanished and I waste no time grabbing the side of the bath to haul myself up.
Arms wrap around my waist from behind, as if the bath below has all but vanished. A face rests against mine and I look to my right to see who has me now.
‘Hey, Lills,’ Ryan says. His words are strangled by the water and get caught by the bubbles that leave his lips. But despite that, his voice sounds just as it did all those years ago. I even smell his vulgar scent. ‘Miss me?’ He holds me tighter, pressing himself against me and wrapping his legs around mine. ‘Don’t worry. We’re together now.’ He becomes as heavy as stone and together, we start to sink. ‘I’ll never leave you. And you will never leave me, will you? You can’t and deep down, you don’t want to.’
The water becomes endless as he pulls me down to the depths. The light of the bathroom dwindles. The deeper I go, the quieter my thoughts become. The less my heart aches. The less I hurt. Before I know it, I’ve closed my eyes and given myself to the darkness. Further and further I sink. Deeper. Darker.
Quieter.
Then… silence. Complete and utter silence.
I let out the last bit of air from my lungs and just… stop.
My Broken-self laughs in my ear.
