Three months later.
Catch your breath, Lilly. Just… breathe.
You got this!
I slide down the tree and crouch low, taking in deep breath after deep breath. The sun’s bright. The sky’s the clearest blue I’ve seen in a long time and I have a thin layer of sweat building on my brow. I’ve finally been able to ditch the jumpers and let the warm sun touch my pale skin. I’ve opted for comfort and ease today. A black strappy top to match my black leggings. A pair of black and white trainers. And a pair of long, black, fingerless woollen gloves that reach up to my elbows.
My scars are as visible as ever. My constant reminders of the road so far travelled. But I couldn’t care less who sees my scars anymore. The marks on my arms and my back are a part of me, and I have accepted that. After everything I’ve been through, they’re the least of my problems. Gone are the days I would cover up through shame and embarrassment.
But the brand, well… that’s different. That’s a target on my back. One I need to keep hidden. I don’t want my enemies knowing I may not have my magic, so I wear long gloves to cover it.
In front of me, beyond the outdoor pool, the back door to The Orchard is wide open. The windows too. Letting in the cool spring air and clearing out the last few months of stress, tears and anger. And not just mine. The whole house has been a living hell.
I lean across and take the slightest peek out from behind the tree I’m using as a shield. As soon as he sees me, Grayson sends me a direct hit. I throw my arms up over my head and retreat back behind the tree as he continues to hurl his lightning at me, hoping that the slightest bit will reach me. The wood is charring and splintering behind my back. The bark groans against his assault. I can smell it burning and hear it crackling as I cower. But it doesn’t reach me. Not yet.
‘Come out and face me,’ he taunts. ‘Stop being such a coward!’
The tree starts to creak. It’s going to fall and I’ll lose my cover.
Shit!
I take a few deep, readying breaths and lower my hands.
You can do this. You have to do this, Lilly.
The tree’s going over any second. No choice. I need to move.
I need to run.
On three, I tell myself.
One.
Two.
Three!
I charge out and sprint as fast as I can towards the next tree, leaving the other one to land with a thud on its side. Bits of branches and leaves snap off and go everywhere as I sprint away from the house.
His lightning chases my heels, but I’m fast, and manage to keep ahead of it. To my left, Hendrix is coming. Full pelt and teeth-bared. His low voice snarling as he sprints. Those jet-black eyes are focused on nothing but me. He opens his arms, ready to grab. Grayson’s assault stops so he doesn’t hit his vampire pet, and I lower myself, using my own momentum to slide along the grass beneath his reach. Hendrix snatches nothing but air before stopping and turning to pursue me. I’m back on my feet and I carry on running without daring to look back. I know Hendrix is furious that he missed me. The low growl he produces makes me shudder. Grayson hurls another shot straight ahead of me, hoping to stop me in my tracks. I leap over it, my heels missing it by an inch, and land with a roll before getting back to my feet and continuing my sprinting. The lightning blackens the grass, leaving zig-zags scorched into the lawn. Multiple bruises are already starting to form over my body. But I can’t think about that now.
The tree is almost in sight. It will give me cover for just a moment. Enough to come up with a plan. But before I can get there, Gabriel steps out from behind it. He looks good. I’ve not seen him for a few days. He’s in a black t-shirt that hugs him perfectly. His black jeans are tucked into his black boots and he’s wearing that half-smile I’ve missed way too much.
How long has he been hiding there? How long has he been back at the house?
I don’t get to ask before he pulls back his fist and throws me a punch. I stop so fast, I skid. My trainers hold little to no grip on the freshly cut grass, and I land on my backside. As he lunges down to grab me, I roll to the side and push myself back up. As I run away from him, Grayson is walking towards me with a casual strut and a smug smile. His hand shimmers with his lightning. The sleeves of his white shirt are rolled up and his top buttons undone. He’s bare footed and ready to fight.
To win.
‘You are not going anywhere,’ Grayson says, a cruel smirk playing at his lips. ‘So, stop trying to run, Miss Hooper.’
Like hell!
I veer off and start heading in the direction of what’s left of the burnt orchard at the end of the grounds. I don’t get far. A wall of telekinetic power pounds into me, forcing me through the air and making me land in a painful heap at Gabriel’s feet. I groan and roll onto my back. Gabriel leans over me, blocking the sun and casting me in shadow.
‘Need a hand?’ he asks, holding out his own for me to take.
‘No,’ I reply, swallowing down the pain.
‘Tough.’ He yanks me to my feet and lets me go as I stagger about, trying to regain my balance. ‘Ready?’
Gabriel throws a punch before I can respond. I barely see it in time. As his fist narrowly misses my face, I feel the air brush over my skin.
He throws another and another. I duck and weave, missing every strike and stumbling away, still trying to catch my balance and senses.
‘HIT HER!’ Grayson bellows.
‘I’m trying,’ Gabriel snarls back, as he continues trying to land a blow. ‘You’re a quick little thing, aren’t you?’
‘You know it, baby.’
I duck low as his arm soars over me. My elbow jabs into his ribs.
‘Fucking hell,’ he groans, hunching over and clasping his side. I upper cut his jaw and thump my fist into his face. It hurts me more than it hurts him, and I grab my three-fingered hand and swear with a hiss.
‘I SAID HIT HER!’
‘AND I SAID I’M FUCKING TRYING, GRAYSON!’ Gabriel roars back, not taking his eyes off me. He keeps trying to get me. To grab me or hit me. As I stumble back, my feet trip over themselves and I fall. Once more I’m on the floor. My energy is seriously starting to wane. I half consider just giving up.
But most of me is a stubborn bitch these days. So instead of giving up, I grab Gabriel’s ankle and pull with all my strength. He falls and lands on his back beside me. I don’t waste a second. I return to my feet, stand over him and thrust the sole of my foot into his nose.
‘AHRGH! FUCK!’ he bellows, clasping his nose as blood seeps between his fingers. I leap over him, my target still to get to the orchard. But he grips my leg and I land on the floor face down. Gabriel flips me over and crawls up my body to pin me beneath him. There’s blood falling down his face and over his lips. His hair hangs over his brilliantly blue eyes and he’s covered in sweat, just as I am. He pants and laughs, touching the blood with his finger-tips.
‘I think you broke my nose, Beautiful.’ He grips my shoulders and lifts me, so his face is in mine. Both his knees remain either side of me, pinning me beneath him. ‘You going to say sorry?’
‘Sure.’ I smash my forehead as hard as I can into his face. If his nose wasn’t broken before, it definitely is now. He falls back, swearing furiously. ‘Sorry.’
In my desperate and panicked attempt to get away, I trip and stumble as I get to my feet. With a quick glance over my shoulder, I see him jump up. He wipes his nose and laughs at the streak of red left behind. Lifting his head, he watches me with his mischievous half-smile.
‘Catch me if you can!’ I call over my shoulder.
‘Oh. I’ll catch you, Beautiful.’
A streak of Grayson’s lightning hits the ground in front of me, stopping my escape.
‘Enough flirting,’ Grayson threatens his brother angrily. ‘You catch her or I will.’ When I go to run again, Grayson sends another shot and shakes his head. ‘Enough running. Time to fight back.’ I turn, just in time to avoid Gabriel’s fist. I duck and he fails to land his blow.
‘Stop dodging and hit me back,’ Gabriel warns quietly, glancing at his psychotic brother in the distance. ‘Unless you want him to take my place?’
I kick him square in the nuts.
His eyes widen. His face pales and his mouth opens in a hollow O as he falls to his knees, clasping his crotch.
‘N-not what I had in mind,’ he croaks before slumping onto his side. ‘Ahhh, fuck.’
‘Shit. I’m sor-’
I hear a low growl before Hendrix grabs me by my hair and tosses me through the air. I scream as I soar, and swear when I hit the ground with a thud. I roll several times before stopping. I lay there winded and short of breath. My ribs, which already took a nasty knock earlier, now scream in agony. Although badly winded, I force myself up to my knees. But fail to get any further. My body’s exhausted and every attempt to get up ends with me back on the floor.
I’m done.
Hendrix still continues his descent on me. Both his fists are clenched.
‘Wait…’ I pant, holding up a hand as my other keeps me from falling face down in the grass. ‘I need a minute.’
‘Oh, Little Witch,’ Hendrix laughs as he towers over me. ‘We’re never gonna stop. Not till ya give Grayson what he wants. On ya feet.’
‘I can’t.’
‘You’re so fucking pathetic. Look at ya. Can’t even run away. Can’t fight back. Ya can’t save yourself or the people that ya love.’ He leans down into my face and looks into my eyes as my pain-filled breathing turns to rage. ‘What good are ya? Hmm?’ he asks. ‘All the power ya have. All that you’ve been through. All the monsters you’ve faced and defeated. And you’re still a pathetic little bitch. Still whimpering. Still pleading for mercy. For respite.’
‘Fuck off, half-breed,’ I snarl.
‘Words? That’s all ya got?’ He crouches down and rests his elbows on his knees. ‘Grayson will tear you limb from limb if you don’t get to your fucking feet and try to do what he wants.’
‘You sound like you care,’ I scoff.
‘No. I don’t really give a shit. I’m just getting real tired of repeating this exercise every mother-fucking day. There’s only so many times I can beat ya down till I just get plain old bored. It’s like slapping a puppy. You’re not giving me a challenge.’
‘Then let Grayson have a go.’ I glance over his shoulder at Grayson who is watching us closely.
‘If me or lover-boy stand aside and lets Grayson do this instead, we’ll be scraping bits of pretty red-haired-witch out the pavement. Ya should consider yourself lucky Gabriel loves ya enough to do this in Grayson’s place. Unlike lover-boy and me, Grayson won’t hold back.’
‘And what’s your reason for helping me?’ I ask with a snide tone. Like this is supposed to be helping.
‘I want the Veil down. That’s all. I don’t care who ya fuck. Who ya love. Who killed ya baby.’
I feel the hatred spread across my face at his words as he simply leers at me.
‘I’ll do whatever it takes to return magic back to the mortal realm. I’ll beat ya black and blue. I’ll hold ya down as Grayson tortures you. We need ya to have access to all realms of magic in order to complete the spell, so I will do whatever it takes to get ya to manifest the rest of your powers. But, at the same time, we need ya alive. And Grayson has a temper. He’s vindictive. And he doesn’t know when enough is enough. You bruised his ego.’
‘I rejected him and he would kill me for it. That’s the man you serve.’
‘The man I serve will get me what I want. I just need to keep Grayson from killing ya long enough to get it done. He takes our place out here? You’ll be dead in a week. So. Stop flirting with lover-boy. Stop hiding behind the fucking trees. Stop bloody running away.’ He points a finger at me. ‘Fight. Back!’
‘I can’t,’ I hiss back angrily. ‘He won’t let me.’ My eyes land on Grayson who is slowly pacing back and forth, watching us. ‘You’re a vampire. Gabriel’s a man twice my size. How can I beat you both when I’m not allowed to use my magic?’
‘The whole idea of this fucking exercise is for ya to manifest your goddamn Physical magic, so ya can fight a vampire and a man twice your size.’ He leans into my face. I wince at the stench of his breath. ‘I suggest ya get on with it before Grayson starts to lose his patience.’
His mouth widens and he goes for my neck with his teeth. As soon as they pierce my skin, I panic and send out a wave of Telekinetic power. Hendrix soars through the air, crashing to the ground and rolling away, stopping by Grayson’s feet.
As I scramble up, I turn and face them all. Gabriel gets up, still flinching at the pain I’ve inflicted between his legs. Hendrix simply bounces to his feet looking excited and hungry for the fight. But Grayson… Grayson’s dark eyes swim with anger and frustration. When Hendrix goes to resume his attack, Grayson rests his hand on his chest and stops him. His hands shimmer with lightning that weaves slowly and vibrantly between his fingers, snaking up his forearms and building in strength.
I wipe the trickle of blood slowly making its way down my neck and get ready.
I’ve broken the rules. I’m not to use my magic unless it’s a new realm of power. So now, Grayson can have a go at encouraging a manifestation.
He steps around the vampire and starts heading towards me. Quickly. As he descends, Gabriel calls his name. But Gabriel can’t compel him. Not without dire consequences. He can’t interfere without it resulting in death and pain and misery. Grayson reaches me swiftly and grabs my throat. He squeezes. His fingers are wringing the life from me as I claw and scratch at his grip. His face is contorted with anger and hatred. I know he wants to kill me. And if he didn’t need me to do the spell, I would be dead by now. He starts pushing me back, my feet stumbling over themselves as he does. And when he stops, I’m dangling backwards over the deep end of the pool.
‘Prize my hands from your neck,’ he orders through clenched teeth.
I try. But they’re like stone.
‘Manifest your Physical magic,’ he warns, like I’m choosing for it not to come to me. My vision is starting to blur. My eyes feel ready to pop from the pressure. I can’t breathe! Not a bit. He pushes me further back and I struggle to keep my feet on the ground.
‘Manifest!’ he orders again. ‘MANIFEST!’
I start hitting his hand. His chest. Anything I can reach. I will my magic to form. For the power of strength and healing to come to me. But nothing comes. And everything is starting to go black as he continues to choke me.
My hands fall by my side and my body falls limp in his grasp. I’m about to blackout when Gabriel grabs Grayson’s wrist.
‘Get o-’
A blast of Telekinetic power sends Gabriel away before he can finish his words, and Grayson returns his focus to me.
‘Manifest. If you want to breathe… MANIFEST!’ Spit flies from his mouth and his breath lands hot on my skin.
The next thing I see is Hendrix taking hold of Grayson’s neck and wrist. He forces him to let me go. Hendrix then tosses Grayson away from me.
Stupid thing to do, because now, no one is holding me and I fall backwards. Straight into the pool.
The cold water engulfs me and fills my mouth. It goes up my nose and the chlorine stings my eyes. Steadily, I sink to the bottom of the pool and look up. The blue sky is distorted with the way I’ve disrupted the water above me.
I lay still. Motionless. Barely conscious.
I let out the last bit of air that Grayson didn’t choke from me, and release a few bubbles which I watch float slowly to the surface.
It’s suddenly very peaceful.
The way the cold water soothes my injuries and eases my aching muscles is a slice of bliss. It’s very calming. The water fills my ears. It drowns out the yells of the men above me who are fighting. Of my own anger and frustrations at my failure to do this. At my overwhelming sense of hopelessness at my situation. This torture has been going on for months. And I’m starting to tire of it. I’m tired of the constant threats. Of the random outbursts of horrific violence. Of the bruises that never get to heal and the cuts that are reopened before they can fully scab.
I miss Amara and Collins who were sent away while I was recovering from the blood poisoning in my hand. They’re prisoners. One miss-step from me, and Amara will be killed and Collins tortured into insanity. Six weeks ago, Grayson started using his lightning on me to try and encourage my Energy magic. He went too far and I went into cardiac arrest. His same lightning restarted my heart. Gabriel went mad and punched Grayson. The next day, I received one of Amara’s fingers in a brown envelope as punishment for his actions.
I close my eyes and take this brief moment of rest. I lose myself in this quiet little world I’ve been thrown into and for the first time in months, I have a second of respite from Grayson and his never-ending brutality. Part of me wishes I could stay here. I could open my mouth and gulp in this water. I could fill my lungs and my belly in a matter of seconds.
But then, who would tear Toby’s face off? Who would rip Theo to pieces? Who would watch as Grayson burnt to ash?
And who would save my friends? Who would save Gabriel?
No.
Fight!
I have to keep fighting.
My lungs begin to hurt. They’re desperate for air. And as much as I’d like to stay in this other world, I can’t. I’m not done yet. I’m not ready to die. To leave Gabriel behind. And I will never be ready to let them win. The men who have hurt me in a million ways.
I sit up and plant my feet on the floor before pushing myself back up to reality.
But the pool is deep.
At least twice as deep as I am tall. And my push off doesn’t get me anywhere near breaking the water’s surface. As I start to sink once more, I realise.
I can’t swim!
My feet land on the tiles. And once more, I push off. I claw at the water. I kick my legs. But I just sink. The pain from the extreme lack of oxygen is unbearable.
I make contact with the tiles once more and fall to my knees.
I still have my magic. Grayson hasn’t cut me off yet. I hold out my hands and flick up my wrists. As I do, the water rises from the pool and soars up into the sky with a loud roar. My arms lift as it goes, and I send it out in a circular wave, as far away from me as possible while I remain on my knees. As soon as I can, I take in a greedy gulp of air. In the distance, I hear the crash of the contents of the pool landing on the ground. As well as a few swear words from the men it must have landed on. I wipe the water clear of my eyes in the now, very empty, outside swimming pool, while coughing and gasping. My hands caress my throat which I know will bruise in the shape of Grayson’s hand.
After a few seconds, Grayson and Gabriel both peer over the edge. They’re both soaking wet and dripping with pool water.
‘I told you,’ Grayson says sternly, wiping the water from his furious face. ‘Not to use your known realms of magic in these sessions.’
‘I can’t swim. Would you rather I drown?’
I feel him cut me off from my magic as he continues to glare.
‘You threw Hendrix away from you. If you wanted him off, you should have manifested your Physical magic.’
I want to argue. I want to hurl insults. But I don’t. I know what will follow if I do. Death and pain to those I love.
My eyes settle on his chest, where just beneath his shirt, I know he has the Bloodstone dangling on a chain around his neck. It’s so close. But so far away. If I even think about grabbing it, the Nomads that surround us are instructed to shoot to injure Gabriel and me. And to send word to whoever has Amara to kill her outright.
Gabriel thought he could be quick with his compulsion and try to grab the Bloodstone a few months ago. But as soon as his eyes went black, that was it.
Three bullets to his leg, a black eye for me, and Amara and Collins were taken then and there.
Gabriel hasn’t tried again.
Mainly because I begged him not to. I won’t lose Amara. I can’t.
‘You need to manifest your Physical or Energy magic!’ Grayson snaps, running his hands through his dripping hair and flicking off the excess from his hands. ‘Why do you think we are doing this? You are supposed to fight back. Not dodge every attack and run away. You are supposed to fight us. Conjure up a new realm of power to beat us with. You may not believe this, Lilly, but I don’t exactly enjoy these sessions.’
‘Could have fooled me,’ Gabriel grunts, climbing down the poolside steps. He heads over as Grayson remains at the edge looking very annoyed and unimpressed. Gabriel wipes the remainder of his bloody nose clear with his forearm and when he reaches me, he checks me over with extreme concern as he brushes my wet hair out the way of my face. I wrap my arms around his neck and sink into him.
‘I’m so glad to see you,’ I whisper. He’s been gone for five days and it’s been awful every second.
‘Me too, Beautiful. I’m sorry it took so long.’ He holds me at a distance so he can examine me. The misery in his eyes as he looks at my throat is enough to break my heart. ‘Are you injured badly?’ he asks, running his fingers along my neck.
‘I’m okay now you’re home.’
‘We’re doing this without you next time, Gabriel.’ Grayson spits hatefully. ‘You are holding back.’
‘Trust me.’ I lift my top and see a patch of blue already appearing on my ribs. ‘He’s not holding back.’
‘Yeah well, next time-’
‘I’m sorry.’ Gabriel ignores Grayson while trying, but failing, to keep the murderous hatred he has for him from showing. He delicately strokes the bruises on my side and winces as if he’s feeling the pain himself. I reach up and take his face in my hands. I inspect the damage I caused to him.
‘I’m sorry too. I think I broke your nose.’
‘It will be fine in a few hours,’ he says, waving his hand dismissively. His hands feel my hips and his brow furrows even deeper. ‘Lilly, you’re losing too much weight. Have you eaten at all since I’ve been gone?’
‘I’m fine, Gabriel. Please don’t worry.’
That loathing that took root the morning he woke up and saw my brand, grows every day. And it grows even more as he looks up at Grayson.
‘You promised me that you wouldn’t do any more of this torture while I was away. You agreed that she needed rest.’
Grayson merely shrugs. ‘I lied.’
‘What else did you lie about? What else happened when I was gone?’
‘Calm down. Please don’t start a fight. Nothing else happened.’ I assure him.
‘That is the last time you send me away, Grayson. You want something checked out? You can do it yourself. I’m not leaving her alone with you again.’
‘You don’t have a choice. It’s only through my good graces I allow you to stay with her, in my house, in the first place. So check your tone, little brother. Or I’ll have Amara’s head delivered to your girlfriend on a silver platter, and have you sent away with Collins.’
Gabriel goes to argue but I grab his hand and plead with him not to say another word. Thankfully, Gabriel returns his attention to me and helps me to my feet instead.
‘Lilly, you need to try harder,’ Grayson orders. ‘And Gabriel, you need to be harder on her.’
‘The manifestations will come when they come,’ Gabriel tells Grayson without looking at him. ‘You know what Quinn said. They can’t be forced.’
‘And I’m growing impatient of waiting for them to decide when they want to appear. I don’t really care what Mr Quinn says. We are not stopping until she manifests a new realm of power. I don’t care what I have to do.’
‘Even if it means killing her?’
‘I won’t kill her,’ he replies. ‘But I don’t need her in one piece to do the spell. I just need her to have access to all seven-realms of magic. She can do it in a wheel chair for all I care. Or with her best friend’s head on a spike. Your grace period is almost up. In three weeks, our agreed deadline of my back-seat involvement ends, and I will take over her training completely. It’s only due to my affection for you both that I allowed us to waste this much time in the first place.’
‘Affection,’ Gabriel scoffs quietly. He’s not going to hear much more. Every muscle in his body has gone rigid and his teeth are clenched together.
I guide his face to me and put on my best smile. ‘Calm yourself, my love.’
‘I can’t do this much longer,’ he whispers quietly. ‘I won’t.’
‘You must. Our friends lives hang in the balance.’
We head to the steps of the pool. Gabriel lifts me so I can reach and Grayson pulls me out as soon as I’m in touching distance.
‘Mr Quinn is waiting for you in the library,’ Grayson informs me. ‘I suggest you dry off, get something to eat, and head in there to meet him. My brother is right about one thing. You are losing too much weight.’ He leans in and plants a soft kiss on my cheek. He watches Gabriel all the while, not hiding his smug grin as his lips linger on my skin. When I don’t respond, Grayson uses his finger to guide my face in his direction. ‘Did you hear me?’ he asks.
‘I heard you,’ I reply. ‘Can I go?’
‘Remember the rules, Miss Hooper,’ he whispers. ‘Third floor.’
‘I’m not likely to forget the rules, Mr Kendryk,’ I reply, holding my disingenuous smile. ‘Third floor. I know.’
As I go to leave, he tightens his hold.
‘Where’s my kiss?’ he asks, tapping the side of his face. I lean in and peck his cheek.
‘Good girl. Off you go.’ As I leave, I reach for Gabriel’s hand. I’m desperate to know what he found out during the five days he was away.
‘Not you.’ Grayson adds. ‘Gabriel, you stay here with me and fill me in on exactly what you found while looking for our little brother.’
‘You already know,’ Gabriel sighs. ‘Billy was with me every second. I know he told you what I found.’
Grayson shrugs, not giving a damn.
‘Have you found him?’ I ask anxiously. ‘Is he here?’ I look around as if Toby may suddenly appear. Gabriel goes to speak, but Grayson cuts him off.
‘Inside. Now, Miss Hooper. Don’t make me repeat myself. Amara may find it unpleasant.’
I look to Gabriel, pleading with my eyes for any information.
Gabriel slides his hands in his pockets and also nods towards the house, urging me in. ‘Go inside, Beautiful. It’s alright. I’ll be in soon.’
But I remain stuck to the spot.
‘C’mon, Little Witch,’ Hendrix says gruffly, walking forwards and taking hold of my elbow. ‘Let’s get you upstairs.’
Gabriel and Grayson both watch me as I’m led away by Hendrix and taken back inside the house.
I look up at him. ‘Is Toby here?’
He looks down and shakes his head. ‘No. He’s not here. Lover-boy didn’t find him.’
I let out a breath, not sure if it was relief or disappointment that caused the long exhale. Probably both.
Toby’s not here. Which means he can’t hurt me. But it also means that I can’t hurt him either. And that he’s still out there. Why is everyone still free but me? Theo. Jensen. Toby. Grayson. It’s not fair.
As we make our way through the kitchen, Hendrix tells me, ‘Ya did well out there. Those moves Gabriel’s been teaching ya worked well. The punches and dodging techniques-’
‘Let’s not do the small-talk thing, Hendrix. Okay?’ I walk ahead, but he stays close on my heels.
The house is full of Nomads acting as security. Most avoid looking at me as I pass. Some sneer or whisper to each other. Once a week, Gabriel and I are forced to sit with each and every one stationed at the house in order to interrogate them all. Together, we look into their minds and search for any sign that they may be working with anyone else. Theo. Jensen. Hunters. Toby. So far, they’re all clean. And I have dug deep looking for any sign of the bastards.
I relish in the task. Any excuse to get hold of my magic. Every second. Every opportunity, is just more practice. And I’m getting good. Stronger. Grayson doesn’t like me working on building my manifested realms. One of his many rules. He claims it’s because I can’t be trusted. That I can’t control myself. But the truth is he doesn’t want me getting stronger.
In truth, no one does.
After they all saw what I did to Theo’s men at the Traitor camp, and how I almost lost control, I’ve made them nervous.
Grayson, however, is outright cruel. He humiliates me. Hurts me. Threatens me. He is confident he “has me on my leash”. So he is unafraid of any consequences to his actions. He has the only friends I have in the world held captive. I don’t know where or by who. We only have his word that they’re not in any pain and that they’ll remain safe if Gabriel and I follow his rules.
So yeah, I suppose I am on my leash.
But Grayson needs me to manifest the remainder of my magic. Physical, Sight and Energy are still eluding me. I need all seven if I’m to lower the Veil. That’s according to Connor Quinn at any rate. The Nomad who has taken up a permanent residence here at The Orchard. Or really, the library. Talk about a book worm. Grayson calls him the coven’s Archivist. He can read twenty languages, which is very handy, considering the task at hand.
Hendrix and I climb the stairs in silence, followed by a Nomad named Ste. He’s my shadow. Always there and willing to shoot me with the tranquilizer dart he has loaded in his gun if I so much as look at him funny. I’ve been hit five times by his darts so far. So I know he’s not shy on pulling the trigger.
My hand rests on the door handle of the bedroom I share with Gabriel up on the third floor.
I turn back to Hendrix and feel the blood still slowly trickling down my nape. ‘If you ever bite me again, the first thing I’ll do when I get free of Grayson, is pull your teeth out. Do you hear me?’
He rests his hand over mine and opens the door. ‘You should spend less time obsessing over the revenge you ain’t ever gonna get, and more time working on getting ya manifestations to come. Get some rest and then get yourself to the library. The fairy is waiting for ya.’
‘Don’t call him that.’
He walks off laughing.
Deciphering the journal has taken months. And so far, all we’ve learnt is that I need to use all seven-realms of power in order to perform the spell. But the spell itself is still lost in the words no one but me can read.
Ste clears his throat. ‘Grayson wanted me to remind you to be in the library within the hour.’
‘I know, Ste. I was there when he told me.’
I head inside and slam the door shut before running to the window. I see clear over the grounds. Grayson and Gabriel are talking on their own. I can’t see their faces, but no one’s being tortured or shot. So that’s a relief.
I make my way into the bathroom and lock the door. I turn on the shower and let it run. I’ll wash off the chlorine before heading to the library to continue translating the journal. I slump down on the edge of the stand-alone, cast iron bath tub and take a deep breath, rubbing my neck and swallowing painfully against the bruising.
Outside, the bedroom door opens and closes.
‘Beautiful? Where are you? Lilly?’ Before I can answer Gabriel, the handle on the bathroom starts to turn. ‘Why have you locked the door?’ Gabriel calls, thumping it. ‘I hate it when you lock the door. Open up.’
‘I was about to jump in the shower.’
‘I’ve seen you naked a hundred times over. No need to be shy.’ He tries the handle again, like it may have miraculously unlocked itself. ‘Lilly, open the door. Now, please.’ Again, he taps his knuckles on the wood.
‘Alright. Alright. Keep your knickers on.’ I force myself to my feet. I’m so tired I could curl up on this floor and sleep. Instead, I head over and unlock it. He opens it without a second to spare and looks down at me suspiciously.
‘Why did you lock it?’ he asks, with a deep furrow on his brow.
‘I didn’t want Grayson charging in. That’s all.’
‘I don’t like it when you lock the door, Lilly,’ he repeats sternly. ‘You said you wouldn’t do it again. After what you did-’
‘And I told you that what happened a few months ago was an accident. And that I wouldn’t do it again. I didn’t try to kill myself, Gabriel. For goodness sake.’ I turn on my heel and head to the sink. ‘And I’ve already had Grayson walking in while I was showering once. Not too keen to repeat the experience.’ I run the tap and wash my hands. ‘He just stood there watching me like a creep and refused to give me a towel.’ I shudder at the memory.
‘Show me your arm.’ Gabriel follows me and holds out his hand expectantly.
‘What? No. Don’t be daft. Tell me what you found when you were away.’
‘Nothing. Lilly!’ He looks at me severely through the mirror. ‘Show me your arm.’
‘Is my word not enough? I said it’s fine. Everything is fine.’
‘Maybe I would believe you if you weren’t so defensive. Arm. Now!’ He gestures to his outstretched hand. ‘Show me, or I will make you hand it over. Show me your arm!’
I give him my right arm. He slides off the long black glove and lets out a long, relieved sigh.
‘Yep. Just the brand and my usual scars. Nothing else. Like I said, I’m not looking to kill myself. I’m not hiding away up here slitting my wrists, Gabriel. I’m having a shower.’ I hear the anger in my voice. And so does he.
‘Yeah. I know. But still. Walking in on you with a gash in your arm and a carving knife in your hand has left me a little twitchy.’
‘That was two months ago. I just thought I could get rid of the brand. That’s all.’ I snatch my hand back.
‘You know it can’t be skinned off.’
‘Or burnt off. Or scratched off. Yeah, I know.’
‘And it’s not through lack of trying on your part. Hence the twitching man in front of you.’ He tucks my hair behind my ear and lifts my chin with his finger. ‘I only worry because I care. Because I love you.’ He takes a step closer, pressing his body flush against mine. His nose rests on my cheek and his lips plant small delicate kisses along my jaw. But then he quickly stops. ‘Hendrix bit you. Sit down. I’ll get it cleaned up.’ He lowers me down on the edge of the bath and pulls out the first aid box from under the sink.
As he sets about wiping the blood up and cleaning the cut, I ask him, ‘What did Grayson want?’
‘Nothing,’ he mumbles, still focused on my neck.
‘What did you find when you were away? Have you found Toby yet?’ I ask.
‘No.’ Whatever he sprays on my skin makes it sting. ‘Sorry,’ he says, wincing on my behalf. ‘I don’t want it to get infected. There… all done.’
‘Did you follow up on that lead?’ I ask. ‘About the man with lilac eyes in Scotland?’
Gabriel groans and returns to his feet.
‘I did,’ he sighs heavily, packing away the bloody wipes. ‘Like I said, we’ve not found any sign of Toby yet. The five days I was away were a complete waste of time and probably nothing more than a way for Grayson to separate us. Can we talk about something else? What happened here-’
‘What about the man with white hair in Wales?’ I ask. Now he groans angrily, throwing his arms up in the air and hissing a swear word. ‘Because Toby did mention this cottage once somewhere in-’
‘No, Lilly! Bias is not in a cottage in Wales!’ he snaps. ‘Nor is he in a boat house in Scotland. And before you ask,’ he interrupts as I open my mouth. ‘No, he is not the guy selling bongs in Camden Market either. That was an albino kid on a student visa from Canada. My whole trip was a waste of fucking time. There’s no sign of Bias anywhere. Now please, can we stop taking about him?’
‘Toby! His name is Toby. Stop calling him Bias! And I’m sorry if me finding the man who murdered my unborn baby, is annoying you!’ I shriek at him, shoving him hard in his chest. I feel the ever present angry, hate-filled and heartbroken sobs, starting to climb my throat. ‘I need to find him, Gabriel.’
‘We will, Beautiful. We will! But right now, your focus must be on surviving this house until we can get you out of here. That is what matters. These manifestations and-’
‘Finding that monster and making him pay is all that matters!’ Hot tears spring into my eyes. They spill down my cheeks. ‘Seeing my best friend alive and well! Not living every second scared and helpless, waiting for Toby to come back and-and…’ I can’t speak. I just start to sob. My hands bury in my hair and I fight the urge to scream all the pain I feel out into the world till my voice disappears for good.
His arms engulf me and I’m held close to his solid chest. ‘Shhh, Beautiful,’ he coos. ‘It’s okay. I know. I’m sorry.’ He kisses the crown of my head as I sink into his chest. Slowly he rocks me as I wail in his arms, all the while, he whispers things of comfort and love in my ear.
I’m so lost in my misery, I didn’t realise he’d taken off my clothes until he led me into the shower where we sink to the floor together. The water falls over my skin. The soap blends into the cuts on my arms and makes them sting. As I run my hands up and down my body to wash off the dirt and blood, I feel every bruise, both old and new. And even those that are still to form. The foam gathers by my feet and swirls down the drain as I shower off the day. The same as I have for the last three months. Blood, sweat, tears and dirt are all washed away, but I know that tomorrow, I’ll be doing the exact same thing all over again.
I sink further into his body. His warmth soothes the aches that plague me. The sound of the water drowns out my thoughts. This is the only piece of solitude and comfort I get. With him, behind a locked door.
‘I’m gonna fix this,’ he promises as the water cascades over us both. ‘I’ll get you out of here. I’ll get you somewhere safe and bring Amara and Collins back to us. I promise. I promise. Just hold on, okay?’ I lift my head. I can’t tell what’s tears or water from the shower. He looks down at me, his dark hair falling over his eyes and a sad furrow on his troubled brow. He has so much anger, pain, worry and heartbreak going on inside him too, let alone dealing with mine on top of it all. His brothers and his dad are our enemies. He’s lost his entire family. His best friend is captive, as well as mine. His eyes travel down to my neck. Carefully, he examines the bruising and winces.
‘He swore he would wait until I came home to carry on your training.’
‘He did. Until an hour before you walked out from that tree at any rate. I wish I could have run into your arms rather than break your nose.’
‘Those sessions are torturous. Raising my fists to you makes me feel sick. But I know he’ll be much harsher than me. Christ. Look at your neck. He could have killed you if Hendrix hadn’t got him off you.’ He caresses my cheek.
Of all the anger and despair I have swirling inside, none of it is aimed at him. Yes. He attacked me today. He’s attacked me a dozen times in the past few weeks since we found out that I need the rest of my realms of power. But he only does it to protect me from Grayson who would go at me much harder. His ocean blue eyes seem to be getting duller every day. His skin paler. His smiles are less bright.
‘I don’t know how to make this any easier for you,’ he admits. ‘All I can think to do is replace the hurt he causes with kindness. It’s all I’m good for. I can’t fight him. I can’t protect you properly.’
‘I love you, Gabriel. As long as I have you by my side, I can face anything.’
‘I swear to you, I will always be by your side. Your side is all that matters to me. You. You are all that matters to me.’ He takes my face in both his hands and looks deep into my eyes. ‘My family will pay for what they have done to you. They will pay with blood. With their lives. I swear it.’
‘Promise?’
‘On my life. Grayson, Theo, Jensen and Toby will pay. Even if it kills me.’
