The sound of breaking glass wakes me with a jolt. I’m surprised that I wake at all. I thought for sure the bullet that hit me in my chest was going to kill me. I blink a few times to clear the sleepy vision that remains and see I’m in an unfamiliar room that smells heavily of dust and damp. I can’t see anyone else in here with me and the part of the room I do see shows me nothing but closed floral curtains, peeling and dirty striped wallpaper and old wicker furniture.
I strain my ears for any hint that I’m not alone. I hear nothing, so slowly, I roll over.
I’m alone.
I toss off the covers, lift my hand to my chest and find no trace of a bullet wound, and what’s more, I’m dressed. Someone’s put me in a tank top and a pair of black leggings. I push myself up and every muscle in my body complains. I feel like I’ve run a marathon, but other than that, I’m unharmed, unchained and utterly confused.
‘Where the hell am I?’ I whisper under my breath. And then I remember.
Connor and Jensen. They shot Grayson! If he’s dead, then Gabriel is too. I reach out my hand, hoping that I will sense him.
Nothing. I feel no magic here whatsoever.
But I do hear muffled voices beyond the closed door. Quietly, I get to my feet and make my way across the bedroom and as quietly as I can, open it up.
I peer out through a crack, and still, no people. Just an empty landing with brown floral carpets and an additional two closed doors. I see a flight of stairs straight ahead. The ceilings are low and held up with woodworm infested dark oak beams.
‘Seriously, where the hell am I?’
My attention quickly shifts to the stairs when I hear the distant voice of Jensen below. He’s talking to someone. Connor. That Irish accent is unmistakable.
Fucking traitor.
I trusted him. I trusted him and called him friend and all this time he was with them! With Jensen and Theo.
I sneak out onto the landing, careful to find and avoid any creaking floorboards. I’m good at sneaking and moving around unheard. Living at Harry’s, I had to be. I reach the stairs and lean over the bannister. It’s a single flight that goes to another hallway. This house is old, modest and small. I make my way down as silent as a mouse. I reach the hall and see a small beam of light coming from a slightly ajar door. The same door that their voices are coming from. I get closer. It’s a kitchen. Again, it’s old and dated. I see Connor sweeping up broken glass from the floor with a dustpan and brush. He looks tired and pale as he tips it into the bin. But behind him, leaning casually against the counter with a bottle of beer in his hand, is Jensen. He talks calmly and at ease to Connor. Jensen has kidnapped me, maybe murdered my fiancé, and probably my best friend, as well as dear Collins. I notice a loaf of bread left on the table with a few slices cut away, and a lovely sharp knife left beside it.
I crash through the door with a furious scream and grab the knife. Connor gives a yell and leaps out the way as I go for Jensen. The knife is up by my head and I’m ready to plunge it into his neck. He’s startled by my sudden appearance and drops the beer while stumbling back in shock. I’m going at him with everything I have. Before I get close enough, I’m tackled by a third person I didn’t see from behind, and together we roll over the table before crashing to the floor. I’m screaming. Threatening death to everyone for what they’ve done. My attacker pins me to the floor and grabs my wrists.
‘GET OFF!’ I scream, flailing and thrashing violently. ‘I’M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR KILLING GABRIEL! YOU’RE A DEAD MAN!’
‘I’m right here, you lunatic!’ Gabriel yells, grabbing my knife-wielding hand. ‘I’m right here! Look!’ He gives me a firm shake. ‘Look, Beautiful. Look!’
I stare up, blinking in shock as Gabriel pins me beneath him. He looks down at me and waits for me to calm.
‘Gabriel?’ I whisper. ‘Y-you’re alive?’
‘Of course I’m alive.’ He glances at the knife still in my hand then back to me. ‘Unless you plan on stabbing me that is? Didn’t you sense my magic?’
‘I… I…’ Shaking my head, I tell him, ‘I can’t sense any magic. It must be the spell, Rebecca said I would be weak…’
‘Rebecca said what?’
I look over at Jensen and again I fill with fury. ‘You! I’m going to KILL YOU!’ I shove Gabriel off me and scramble up to my feet, screaming wildly and bloodthirstily as I once more go for Jensen. He simply backs up with his hands by his head in surrender.
Gabriel takes my waist and holds me back. I kick out and brandish the knife in the air, screaming death threats at Jensen who lunges back from my assault.
‘Fuck…’ Gabriel groans as he struggles to keep hold of me. ‘When did you get so strong? Calm the fuck down!’
‘Lilly, please, I’m not going to hurt you,’ Jensen says in a bid to settle me.
It doesn’t work.
All I know is I want to kill! I need to kill him! I carry on shrieking furiously, slicing at the air and trying to break free of Gabriel’s grip.
‘She’s insane,’ Jensen mutters, which only makes me yell and thrash harder. Gabriel groans and struggles to hold me back.
‘Here’s a fucking idea, Jensen,’ Gabriel barks from behind me, lifting my feet off the floor. ‘How about you shut the fuck up before she skins you alive, yeah?’
‘LET ME GO!’
‘No chance, Beautiful. You need to calm – ARGH!’ I hurl the back of my head into his nose. He doesn’t relinquish his hold but he sounds really pissed the next time he speaks. ‘Calm your crazy arse down before I compel you to! You hear me?! HEY! DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME?!’ He gives me a shake and tightens his hold so it’s almost painful. His chin rests on my shoulder. ‘Drop the knife before you hurt someone.’
‘I don’t want to hurt him. I want to kill him!’ I growl.
‘Well, you can’t kill him!’
‘Yeah?’ I holler. ‘And why the hell can’t I?’
‘Because he’s your dad, Lilly!’ Gabriel tells me. My efforts to get free stop as I look into the emerald eyes in front of me. ‘And if it wasn’t for him, we’d still be Grayson’s prisoners. He’s your dad, Beautiful.’
My eyes narrow on Jensen. ‘I know.’
‘You know?’ Gabriel replies.
‘Of course she knows,’ Jensen says, stepping closer to me slowly, his eyes glancing briefly to the knife still in my hand. ‘She’s no fool. Are you, Buttons?’
‘Come one more step and I’ll slit your throat,’ I snarl venomously. Wisely, he stops. Gabriel turns me so I can’t see Jensen.
‘Collins?’ I gasp in relief. He’s standing by the door shielding a very pale Amara behind him. ‘Amara? You’re both here? You’re both okay?’
‘We’re fine, Honey,’ Amara insists, pushing him out the way with a tut and making her way over. She takes the knife from my hand and shows me her sweetest smile. ‘Now, can you calm down so we can explain? You’re freaking me out.’
I look around the odd little kitchen. At Collins, Amara and Connor who are all watching me anxiously. ‘I’m freaking you out? What the hell is going on? Where are we? Why the hell is Jensen here?’ I kick Gabriel in the shin. ‘And let me go, you bloody ape! I can’t breathe.’
He releases me and my feet return to the floor, but my outburst was too much for what my body’s been through and I stumble, dizzy and weak.
He grabs my elbow to steady me. ‘Easy. Take it easy. That sedative was really strong.’
‘You’ve been out cold for nearly twenty hours,’ Connor adds, pulling out a chair for me.
‘Well then, maybe you should have thought about that before SHOOTING ME!’ I yell at him.
‘You weren’t supposed to get hit,’ Connor mumbles. ‘I was aiming for Grayson.’
‘Grayson? Grayson!’ I spin around and scour every corner of the room. But I don’t see him. ‘Where is he? GRAYSON WILL KILL YOU! Oh… I don’t feel so good.’
The room starts to spin and my head starts to thump.
Gabriel catches my weight as I lose my balance. ‘You’re still not on top form from the spell. You need-’
‘Will everyone stop telling me what I need! I know what I need.’
‘Then what do you need, Honey?’ Amara asks resting her hand on my back.
‘I need to know what’s going on. I need to know where Grayson and my Bloodstone are. I need to know why he is here.’ I point at Jensen. ‘And… I think I need to sit down,’ I add quietly. ‘Before I throw up.’
∞∞∞
With a cup of sweet tea in my hands, I sit at the kitchen table with the others. Gabriel pulls my chair as close to him as possible and rests his hand gently on mine, all the while, I glare at Jensen with a murderous rage as he lingers by the sink.
‘You can’t feel my magic, Beautiful?’ Gabriel asks softly. His fingers massage mine, as if helping the blood flow will encourage my Sensativa to awaken.
‘No,’ I reply, my teeth grinding together and my attention remaining on Jensen. ‘I can’t.’
‘What’s wrong with her?’ he asks Connor.
‘It was the spell. I’ll be fine,’ I snap impatiently, finally relinquishing from my loathsome glaring and instead looking into Gabriel’s concerned eyes. ‘Tell me what’s going on, Gabriel. Where’s Grayson?’
‘Grayson isn’t here. He still has your Bloodstone, but-’
‘Then he’s coming!’ I stand, the chair legs scrape against the tiled floor as I do. ‘We run off. He’s going to tear you all apart when he catches us.’
‘But!’ Gabriel snaps, yanking my chair so I get swept off my feet and return to sitting. ‘Thanks to Connor, we can’t be found. Even with Grayson holding your Bloodstone.’
‘Well, more thanks to Rebecca than me. It was something she wrote in her journal about avoiding tracer spells.’ Connor points at my wrist. I hadn’t noticed, but I’m wearing a cuff. A leather one. It has odd carvings etched into it. ‘It’s a delay,’ Connor explains as I examine it. ‘We can’t hide you completely, but with the markings on the cuff shielding you, you’re off kilter with the Bloodstone, timewise.’
‘And in English?’
‘Basically, Whenever Grayson looks for you, he’ll see your location six hours, six minutes and six seconds previously.’
‘Riiight…’ I carry on looking at the cuff, wondering how exactly. ‘Six-six-six. What’s bad luck about that?’ I look at Gabriel. ‘So, this was your plan? Team up with long-lost dad and do a runner? Then what? Keep running? I don’t have my magic because I don’t have my Bloodstone.’ I can’t help the venom I spit at him. In truth, I’m so relieved he’s alive and well after thinking he had been shot. But my anger and hatred that Jensen’s presence has stirred is powerful. Too powerful.
‘Well, the plan was to get your Bloodstone first, but you disappeared and we all started to think you were dead, and then you came back in all this fire and energy and I was just so relieved to see you…’ His face pales at the memory of my sudden and violent departure. ‘No one noticed Grayson sending Billy away with it.’ He nods to Jensen. ‘We would have gotten you out sooner, but I needed to make sure Amara and Collins were with us before we left. If we left them behind, Grayson would have hurt them in order to get us back, and-’
‘Could have let me take her before the spell was started though… couldn’t you?’ Jensen snaps. ‘She could have died! I thought that she had! If I’d have known that spell was going to be that dangerous, I would never have allowed you to let her do it.’
‘What? Are you worried that Theo would be upset I almost died?’
‘I think it’s pretty obvious I’m not with Theo any longer.’
‘I’ll just take your word for it, shall I?’ I sneer in response.
‘How about the fact I’m here! How about the fact that I have abandoned the people I have lived with my entire life, left my home and sided with their enemy, all in the name of helping you! Does that convince you of my loyalties? My priorities? If they ever see me again, they will kill me, Lilly. A bit of gratitude might be nice!’
‘Gratitude?’ I hiss. Slowly, I rise. The chair legs scrape along the tiles and everyone falls into a deathly silence. ‘Gratitude?’ I repeat, walking towards him, my fists clenched and my jaw locked. I stand before him almost nose to nose. ‘GRATTITUDE?!’
‘Yes!’ he barks back. ‘Gratitude!’
Thump.
I punch him in the face. It hurts me like hell but I’m so angry I don’t even care.
‘Christ… Where the hell did you learn to punch so hard?’ he snaps, clutching his bloody nose.
‘Thank you! Thank you, Jensen. Please… Accept my unwavering and absolute fucking gratitude!’ I slam my fist into his arm. He holds it protectively and takes a step back. ‘Thank you for abandoning me as a child.’ Whack. ‘For leaving me to be raised by a child-beating lunatic!’ Whack. ‘For dragging me into a tent with Theo and watching as he tortured me and the man I love!’ Whack. Whack. Gabriel is on his feet, trying to stop me, more so I don’t hurt myself than to spare Theo any injury. I shove him away hard, he stumbles back, knocking into the counter. He looks past me to Jensen, who gestures for him to stay out of it. ‘Thank you for doing nothing, as Theo cut off my fingers!’ I thrust my three-fingered hand in Jensen’s face, and hot, hateful tears spring into my eyes. ‘The cutters were filthy. I almost died of blood poisoning! But thanks, Dad! Truly.’ I wipe away my tears just as they start to fall, hating that I’m letting him see me so affected by his betrayals. ‘You have my gratitude. So, so much of my gratitude.’
‘Theo wasn’t meant to go that far,’ he replies shamefully, looking at the floor and rubbing the bruise I have put on his arm. ‘He said he was just going to scare you.’
‘Scare me?’ I scoff. ‘You saw the cutters. You saw him use them on me. TWICE!’
‘I stopped him!’ he insists, like that’s any form of justification. ‘You passed out, but I did stop him. Tell her, Gabriel. Tell her-’
I take some hurried steps towards him and his eyes widen. His back presses against the kitchen counter as I stand on my tip-toes. ‘Like I said… thanks.’ The distrust and loathing on my face upsets him. I don’t give a damn.
‘There are reasons-’
‘None I’m interested in hearing.’ I step away, shaking my head. ‘The things that happened to me in that house… Mum died there! If I misbehaved, Harry would tether me up to a post in the garden, like a dog, naked, and hungry…for days! Have you ever been so hungry, you spent the night hunting spiders?!’
‘Lilly… I had no idea-’
‘Nothing you could ever say to me would let me forgive you for abandoning me to Harry. For turning on me and my mum and sending Theo to come and take me away.’
‘That’s not-’
‘I’m not interested. You don’t deserve my forgiveness, and if I had my magic right now, I would kill you. Know that, Jensen.’ I jab him in the chest, right over his black heart, and deliver my next words with conviction. ‘I. Would. Kill. You.’
I turn and head to the door. As I open it, he calls after me, ‘I didn’t leave you! Lilly… I never left you or your mum. She took you. She stole you from me.’
My hand rests on the door handle, but my feet remain firmly planted on the kitchen floor.
‘I don’t know exactly what happened to you after I lost you when you were four. And to be honest, I’m not too clear on what happened before you and your mum left either. But, I can tell you what I do know, and then maybe you’ll see that I’m not the evil, dead-beat dad you think I am.’
When I peer at him over my shoulder, he takes a cautious step forwards, his eyes pleading with me to hear him out.
‘Every story has two sides. You know yours. Please… please, Lilly. Let me tell you mine.’
∞∞∞
The others remain in the kitchen as Jensen and I head in to a dusty and dated lounge with brown sofas covered in tassels. Jensen sits and swiftly stands again, coughing and batting the air as he gets covered in a cloud of dust.
‘Christ. Your boyfriend might want to learn how to use a vacuum cleaner.’
‘Fiancé. And I think vacuum cleaning is the least of our problems right now.’ I lean against the wall close to the door, my arms folded across my chest. ‘Talk then.’
‘I don’t really know where to begin.’
‘I was four. One day you were there. The next you weren’t. Theo was. Start there. Where did you go? Another woman? Decided you didn’t want to be a dad anymore?’
‘No. It was nothing like that. I loved you and your mum.’
‘Loved. Past tense, huh?’
‘I still love you both. Of course I do.’
‘Well, Mum’s dead, and I hate you. So that feeling is not reciprocated.’
‘Look. I get that you’ve had a shit time. I do. But you’re not the only person here who has lost people. Who has suffered.’
‘You didn’t lose your family, Jensen. You abandoned them. Handed them to Theo. And you think you’ve suffered?’ I scoff. ‘You don’t know the meaning of the word!’ I laugh and shake my head. ‘You have no idea.’
‘I lost my family.’
‘So did I.’
He takes a calming breath, refusing to give in to my argumentative attitude. ‘What do you remember of your mum?’
‘That she loved me.’
‘What else?’
I think back to the woman who I barely remember. And the more I think, I realise that I have very few memories of her before Harry’s house. There are a few glimpses, her cooking over an old stove in a wooden cabin. Her, brushing my hair. ‘At Harry’s, she would read to me every night.’
‘Brothers Grimm?’
‘Yeah. How did you know that?’
He chuckles softly. ‘That was my book. I used to read it to you every night before you went to sleep. Without exception. You refused to go to bed unless I did.’ He smiles fondly at his memory. ‘God, you loved Cinderella.’
‘I still do. It’s my favourite. Gabriel’s learnt it off by heart and he recites it to me nearly every night.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah.’
‘What else do you remember… about your mum?’
I shake my head. ‘Not much. How about you tell me what I should remember.’
He scratches the very edge of his nose as he organises his thoughts. I wait, filled with dread over what he is about to say, because he does not look like a man about to tell a happy story.
‘You started having nightmares,’ he starts.
‘What kind of nightmares? What about?’
‘You kept screaming about a monster hurting you. You would thrash so much when you were in your bed, you would wake up covered in bruises. The only way you would sleep was in my arms. For weeks, I cradled you and held you so you could rest, and the nightmares stopped. You seemed to settle. So I put you back into your bed.’ His emerald eyes look into mine. ‘I went out that night for a couple of hours. When I came back, you were beyond terrified. Sat in the corner of your room almost catatonic, and then I noticed two of your fingers were broken. You wouldn’t tell me what had happened. You said you couldn’t remember, and when I asked your mum, she said that you had had a nightmare and lashed out. Hit your hand on the wall. But something didn’t feel right. So, I asked Theo to come and check you over.’
‘Theo?’
He nods. ‘You were born in my camp. In Theo’s camp. I’ve been with him since I was born. My family have always been with him. All the way back to the war.’
‘I was born… a Traitor?’
‘We actually call ourselves Ramblers. Not Traitors. But yes, you were. And your name isn’t actually Lilly Hooper. It’s Lilly Calla Hartley.’
‘Calla?’ I test the name on my tongue. It feels as pretty as it sounds. ‘Hartley…’ That, doesn’t feel as good.
‘Your mother chose your first names. Calla was her name.’
‘I… I never knew that.’
He puffs out his cheeks and raises his brow. ‘What we don’t know about your mum could probably fill a library. I’ll tell you what I do know. Or rather, what she told me.’ His eyes narrow. ‘If… you want to hear it.’
After a moment of contemplation, I nod and push myself from the wall and take a seat on the sofa. He joins me.
‘She ran away from home when she was twelve. She said she lived in one of the Nomad camps, but didn’t agree with how they lived. She didn’t want the veil to be lowered because she believed it would start a war, so she ran away. Theo found her living on the streets and brought her to us. I liked her as soon as I saw her. We grew up together. She dated a lot of guys. Drove me crazy.’ He scratches the end of his nose again and takes a second before continuing. I sit, riveted by these insights into my lost life. ‘On her seventeenth birthday, I asked her out. The rest, as they say…’ He looks at me and I see a hint of a sad smile. ‘You look so like her. Except the hair and eyes of course. You definitely have her fiery temper,’ he laughs.
‘Then what?’ I’m not interested in sentimentality.
His smile fades. ‘We had you. Everything was fine. But when you turned four, you started having those nightmares.’ He swallows hard. ‘I asked Theo for his help.’ I scoff, and he agrees with my derisive reaction with a nod. ‘He told me to wait at his cabin while he spoke to you and your mum. A couple of hours later, he returned with a gash across his face. He told me… He said…’
‘What?’ He looks lost in confusion as he sifts through the memories of what happened.
‘When he turned up, she was holding your arm over a fire.’
‘Bull. No way.’
‘I’m telling you what he told me. He said he walked in. You were screaming and she was holding your arm over the flames in the fire place, yelling at you. He demanded to know what the hell she was doing. She attacked him with a knife, took you, and ran.’
‘That’s a lie. Theo’s lying to you to hide the fact that he tried to kill your child. He-’
He raises his hand. ‘I know that now. I’m telling you what happened then. And then I will tell you what happened in the last few months. Okay?’ I close my mouth and let him continue. ‘We came to the conclusion that she was hurting you. That she was the one causing the bruises and broken bones.’
‘So she took me, and you what? Let her? Why didn’t you look for me? If you knew she was hurting me, why-’
‘I did. Oh, Lilly, I looked everywhere. The woman I loved had taken my little girl and was hurting her! I was insane with worry. Theo was just as desperate to find you. But then Theo and I found the car she took. It had crashed and burnt. Inside were two bodies. A girl about your age and a woman wearing your mothers wedding ring. We assumed the worst. We obviously assumed wrong. Your mum was clever. Cunning. Cruel. And I had no idea what she was capable of. And I am sorry I stopped looking for you. I truly had no idea you were still alive until four months ago. If I had known, I would have come to get you from your uncle. I swear it.’
‘Instead, you learn I’m alive and hand me to Theo for torture?’
‘My missing daughter turned up at the house of my enemy. My missing daughter turned out to be The Arcane witch! You were helping Grayson do something that I had spent my entire life trying to stop from happening. And when Theo tried to talk to you at Christmas, when he came to talk to you at the Christmas tree lot, he told me you attacked him.’
‘Theo attacked me!’ I insist. ‘I was just there to buy a Christmas tree! He didn’t want to talk. He hit, he tortured and he threatened me. And if he told you anything different, he’s lying.’
‘I know that now. I didn’t know that then. The way he told me, he attacked after you attacked him first. You made it clear where your allegiances lied. You were going to bring down the veil and help Grayson start a war against humanity. He even said that you made a promise that you would make every last human suffer before you killed them. He said you were evil, and soulless.’
‘He didn’t even give me a chance to speak before he attacked. I said no such thing.’
‘I get that now. I didn’t then.’ He takes another deep and readying breath. ‘After everything that happened at the camp, the night Theo hurt you, I started having my doubts. You were so adamant that you didn’t want anyone to die. That handing over the journal so he could kill the Nomads, was not something you could live with. When you insisted that you had no intention of starting a war, I saw no lie in your eyes. None. Theo had spent so long telling me that you wanted to start a war. That you sided with Grayson in killing humanity. That you were evil, I believed him. But then I saw you, and I didn’t see any of that in you. The pain you were in was unbearable to witness and you took it all to save lives. When we left you alone to talk in the tent, I told Theo I didn’t think you were wicked. That you were simply lost, stuck… trapped. But then Tobias turned up, and Grayson, and everything went straight to hell. When I saw you… kill my men…’
‘I should never have done that,’ I whisper in shame, shaking my head and wishing away the images from that night. ‘I had just learnt something so terrible, and I was so upset, I couldn’t control myself.’
‘I am sure there is a reason for what you did. If you want to tell me, then you can, but first I must finish telling you my story. If that’s alright?’ I nod. ‘After you escaped, we went into hiding. Theo was hurt, he wanted to heal before attacking Grayson to get you back. I told him I didn’t believe that you wanted what he thought you wanted. I told him that I thought you were in trouble. He wouldn’t listen. He just kept telling me over and over “Lilly is a dark soul who wants the world to burn. We must get her and the journal if we ever hope to save our people and save humanity. Killing Grayson’s Descendants is all that matters”. It was all he would say.’
‘You didn’t believe him?’
‘No. I believed you. I snuck into Theo’s cabin. I found a notebook. A diary. It listed, in detail, all the things that he and your mother did to you as a child. Turns out Theo knew who Calla was. He knew she was a Hooper. She had run away from home, that much was true. Your grandfather wasn’t a nice man, by all accounts. A bit happy with his fists. Calla knew about the Nomads, as well as the Ramblers. She chose to come to us for sanctuary.’
‘I bet. If the alternative was Grayson, I may have sought you out too.’
‘Indeed. She made a deal with Theo that if he took her in, she would marry for love and have a child. She believed his lies too and knew that an Arcane was needed to stop the war from ever happening. In the journal, he kept track of absolutely every detail of his efforts to make you manifest. He tried fear. Anger.’ His eyes go dark. ‘Pain. I sat there, reading about how he slowly twisted your fingers until they snapped. How he used his magic on you. And he was frustrated with you because you weren’t manifesting. It was like reading the inner ramblings of a mad man and it made me sick to my stomach.’ He reaches into his pocket and hands me a small mole-skin notebook. The pages are dog-eared and discolored. The cover furls at the edges, indicating not only its age, but its repetitive use. ‘Here. I stole it.’
I take it and flick through the pages. I see the notes he was referring too. The details of my suffering. And also, his most private and deranged thoughts. ‘Funny thing is, Grayson has this exact list,’ I add, thinking back to the night he ticked off the causes of my manifestations. ‘Like father like son, hey.’
‘Theo was working with your mum to get you to manifest your magic. I’m not entirely sure what caused your mum to flee after you finally did. Maybe she changed her mind and wanted to protect you.’ He leans over and flicks through the pages, landing on the final one that says simply “Calla knows the truth”.
‘Truth?’ I ask. But he shrugs.
‘My guess? She learnt something about why he wanted you to manifest, and didn’t like it.’
I close the book and hand it back with a shrug.
‘You seem to be taking this well.’
‘I have the advantage of knowing that you’re lying. Carry on,’ I encourage. ‘Let me hear the rest of your lies.’
‘I’m not lying.’
‘Carry on or I leave,’ I say simply.
He grunts under his breath, and carries on. ‘I went looking for Gabriel. He damn near killed me when he saw me in London a few weeks back. While that oaf, Billy, was talking to market stall vendors, I approached Gabriel and asked him if you were in trouble. If you needed saving from Grayson. After he beat the shit out of me, he said yes. I told him what I knew and said I would help him save you. I never went home. Theo has been looking for me ever since. To kill me and get that notebook back.’
‘Cool story. A load of utter rubbish though, but exciting to hear nonetheless. Can’t believe Gabriel believed you.’ I laugh, shaking my head and getting to my feet. ‘You can leave now. I don’t want you here.’
‘Remember when I told you that she dated a lot of guys?’ he asks, standing up with me. I turn and roll my eyes at his insistence on continuing this nonsense. ‘When I think back, it was like she was looking for something. And when I finally plucked up the courage to tell her how I felt, she stopped looking. I loved her straight away. And she loved me. I think that was the only truth your mother ever really had in her life. I think that love was what she was looking for.’ He lifts his gaze. ‘Because she knew she needed it to make you.’
After a few slow and purposeful steps forwards, I stop before him. ‘Are you telling me, with complete sincerity, that you believe my mother only had me, to make a witch?’
‘It certainly looks that way.’
‘And that she hurt me to make me manifest?’ I snarl.
‘I am and I am sorr-‘
‘You… are a fucking liar!’
‘Lilly, you were four. There are probably memories in there that are locked up. You were always getting hurt. I thought you were just adventurous and accident prone. But looking back, it was her. Her and Theo.’
‘You want to take away one of the only person I remember loving me. That’s just cruel.’ The constriction in my throat grows more unbearable. ‘You’re lying.’
‘I love you. I loved you then and I love you now. You were my Buttons. You held me together.’ He reaches out and rests his hand on mine, but I quickly pull away.
‘YOU’RE A FUCKING LIAR!’ I yell. ‘A LIAR AND A TRAITOR AND… AND… CRUEL!’ I push him away. ‘My mum loved me. She loved me. You don’t get to tell lies and take her away from me!’
‘I’m not lying, Buttons.’
I walk out the door and storm through the hallway towards the kitchen. When I crash through the door, everyone jumps to their feet. I go straight to a worried Gabriel and take his hands. ‘You need to look into my memories. Right now.’
He glances at Jensen behind me who has followed me in.
‘You told her?’
Jensen nods sadly.
‘He’s lying! My mum would never do that to me. She would never have had me just to make a witch and then help Theo hurt me.’ Tears spill down my cheeks as I violently shake my head. My hair tumbles over my face and he brushes it out of the way. ‘Look into my memories, Gabriel. Prove he’s lying.’
‘I don’t think that’s wise,’ Gabriel says. ‘Jensen’s telling the truth, Lilly.’
I take his hands and slam them onto the side of my head. ‘Please. I am begging you.’ He still hesitates. ‘Please!’
‘Let her see, Gabriel,’ Jensen encourages gently. ‘If it’s the only way for her to trust me, show her.’
I spin round to him and spit the words, ‘I will never trust you.’ turning back to Gabriel, I plead with him. ‘Look. I’m begging you. He can’t take my mum away from me. I won’t let him.’
His hands slide into my hair and his fingertips press into my skull. His eyes go black, and together, we travel back to see. I see Jensen and me, playing. A lot. We’re outside, in the forest, playing hide-and-seek. Hunting woodpeckers. Collecting chestnuts. Fishing in the lake. Inside the cabin, he watches me with awe as I scribble with crayons or create dolls with clothes pegs. I see him reading to me, over and over, as I sit comfortably in his lap, playing with his ponytail. We sit on the porch and he teaches me how to make daisy chains. All the things I thought I did with my mother, I did with him! And in the background, my mother lingers, watching with a scowl. There’s jealousy in her eyes as she spectates our time together. Then, I see her letting Theo into my room. I see her watch as he hurts me. As he threatens to take my dad away if I tell him what he’s doing. My mother barely flinches as I cry. Gabriel is by my side the whole time, watching me, but never saying a word.
‘Show me what happened to make us leave,’ I request, in little more than a strained whimper.
‘Are you sure-’
‘Show me.’
The scenes fade to an image of Theo holding a four-year-old Lilly’s hand over an open fire. She’s screaming and trying so hard to pull away. She pleads with her mummy to help her, and I openly start to sob at the cold indifference my mother has to her suffering. Gabriel’s hand tightens in mine. Then… she manifests, and sends a knife at Theo. He lets her go and she falls to the floor holding her badly burnt arm to her chest. Theo laughs as he wipes the blood from his face, and goes insane with joy. He rants and raves like a lunatic, laughing and clapping with glee.
‘Now all I need is the journal, and the spell will once more be mine!’ he boasts to himself as he begins pacing back and forth. ‘I will send word to the Hunters, get them out and searching. I will need to create more. The Descendants won’t survive the year with all the weapons they have at their disposal. One large wave of attacks and the Descendants will all perish-’
‘Nomads,’ Calla corrects him. ‘You mean… the Nomads will perish. The Ramblers will be okay… won’t they?’ She steps back. ‘Jensen and I will be safe, right?’
Theo turns to her, a cruel and twisted grimace on his face.
‘You, and all of your pathetic kind will be dead. You vile, disgusting, half-rate excuse of a Descendent.’ He snatches little Lilly’s arm. ‘I have my Arcane witch.’ His lightning starts to crackle on his palm. ‘I have no need for you any longer, Calla. And I can’t have you telling anyone any of this.’
‘I won’t tell anyone! Keep the child, but spare Jensen and me! Please!’
‘Sorry. If I am going to succeed in returning my Abigail to me, you must all perish. Every, single one of you.’ He starts his attack, shooting his lightning at her until she falls to the floor, screaming and writing in agony. She cries out for little Lilly to help her.
‘Save your mummy,’ she wails. ‘Lilly! My daughter! Save me!’
Theo is hurled across the room, smashing through the window and far into the woods. Calla is up on her feet, and dragging a traumatised little Lilly out the front door. Everything turns fuzzy and my memories are distorted until we arrive at Harrys house. I remember all this. Living in the attic with her. Six months we stayed there. She was a good mother in those few months. She played with me. Read to me. Hugged me. Nothing like she was at the cabin.
‘Gabriel…’ I whisper. ‘Compel me to show you the night she died.’
‘Are you sure?’ he asks.
I nod, unable to find the courage to form the words. He compels me, and we arrive in the bathroom of my uncle’s home. It’s dark outside. Through the window, fireworks light up the sky.
Little Lilly is sat in the bath, sleepy and mumbling, rubbing her eyes and asking her mummy why she is sitting in the bath with her clothes on.
Calla strokes her hair and smiles a gentle and comforting smile at her. ‘There’s a bad man out there, Lilly. And he wants to hurt me. He wants to hurt your daddy. You don’t want him to hurt your daddy, do you?’
Little Lilly shakes her head, barely able to keep her eyes open. She’s been drugged. It’s as clear as day that she has some kind of sedative in her system.
‘Are you sleepy, baby?’ Calla asks her.
Little Lilly nods.
After a kiss to her forehead, little Lilly is lowered into the water. ‘Then go to sleep, baby. Go to sleep.’
Little Lilly is submerged. After a few seconds, she starts to kick and thrash, spilling water all over the bathroom tiles. Calla pins her down. There’s no grief on her face or pain as she tries to drown her own child. She’s cold and hard. Dare I say… hateful?
‘You will not be used to kill my Jensen. I will not lose him. I will never lose him. Not to you, and not to Theo-’
The water in the tub explodes. The bath cracks and chunks of porcelain shatters like shrapnel. Calla is hurled back, her head connects with the wall with a heavy thud, and she falls to the floor, unresponsive, with blood seeping from her head. Little Lilly lays motionless in the bath, except for the odd little splutter as she clears her airway. When Harry starts pounding on the door, Gabriel lets me go and I return to the kitchen.
There are absolutely no words that can be said. Nothing to be done to make the pain in my heart and soul any easier to bear. No sobbing leaves me, just silent tear after silent tear. Gabriel cups my face in his hands and rests his forehead against mine.
‘I am so sorry,’ he whispers sadly, catching my tears and wiping them clear with his thumbs.
I return his hands to the side of my head. ‘Compel me to show you what happened after the spell.’
‘Don’t you need some time? Do you want to talk? Maybe-’
‘Just… look.’ I have no energy or want to say another word, and he needs to learn the truth about what Theo has planned as soon as possible. As well as the truth of what the spell will actually do when it is completed. When he finishes looking, he releases me and steps back with wide eyes.
‘That’s… that’s the spell?’ he murmurs. I nod as more tears spill down my cheeks. ‘And Theo… he plans to-’
‘Yes.’ I lift my gaze to Jensen who is stood by the door, desperately looking between Gabriel and me but not asking a single question about what he saw. Theo was telling the truth. He was a loving father. A devoted husband. And my mother was a heartless monster. ‘Can you tell the others?’ I ask Gabriel as he uses the cuff of his jumper to dry my tears. ‘I… I can’t… I need to…’
‘What do you want me to tell them?’
I look around the whole room. My eyes meet Collins, Amara, Connor and Jensen. ‘Tell them everything. All of it. Tell Jensen about Toby and Harry’s house. Tell them about the spell. Just…’ I sigh, defeated and devastated. ‘Tell them all everything.’ I start walking to the door, almost stumbling as I walk. I think I’m in shock. Jensen steps aside to let me pass.
‘Are you okay, Buttons?’
I stop and look up at him. ‘You told me your story. And I believe you. You asked to hear mine. When Gabriel tells you, you may wish you hadn’t.’
Amara appears beside me and takes my hand in hers. ‘Come on, Honey. I’ve got you.’ She pecks my cheek. ‘I’ve always got you. Let’s go upstairs, hmm?’
‘Yes please.’
With my head rested on her shoulder, we go upstairs, and Gabriel gets started in explaining everything to them all.
∞∞∞
‘You alright, my love?’ Gabriel asks gently, running his hands along my arm and leaning in to kiss the top of my head. I’ve been laying on the bed with my head on Amara’s lap for a while, my face buried into her stomach.
‘My whole life is a lie,’ I murmur, not rolling over. ‘My mum never loved me.’
He can’t even try to comfort me. Not with this. ‘I love you, if that’s any consolation.’
‘Me too,’ Amara adds sweetly.
I give a little sniffle.
‘We need to get on the road within the hour,’ he whispers to Amara. ‘Why don’t you go pack up and see Collins. He’ll fill you in on a few things.’
‘Where’s Jensen?’ she asks in a hush.
‘He’s downstairs. He’s… um… processing. Learning about Lilly’s life wasn’t easy listening.’
‘Did you tell him all of it?’ she asks.
‘Most of it. He knows about Toby and Harry. About…’ He leans into her ear. ‘The baby.’ No matter how quiet they speak, I can hear them clearly. But I’m so emotionally spent I just lie here. ‘Go on, sweetheart. Go find Collins. We need to keep ahead of the Bloodstone delay. I’ve got her.’ He scoops me up in his arms and stands. My face buries into his chest as she gets up and leaves. When the door closes, he sits on the floor with his back resting against the bed and cradles me close. Resting my ear close to his heart, I listen to the thump thump beneath his chest.
‘Gabriel?’
‘Yeah, Beautiful?’
I lift my hand and show him Rebecca Hooper’s ring, which still sits on my finger. ‘When I first touched the ring, I had magic. Not my own, but I definitely had access to magic.’ I explain it all. What it felt like. How it left me when the spell was done. ‘And also, when I touched the stone, and all that power crashed into me, I was filled with knowledge.’
‘Knowledge?’ he asks.
‘Yeah. Rebecca told me that she had given me all her knowledge about magic and spells.’
He sits up and looks at me with a raised brow. ‘You know all her spells?’
‘I did. I knew everything. Thousands of ways to use my power. But then, when the spell ended and Grayson cut me off, and the magic from her ring faded, it all disappeared. For a moment, I had so much power. So much wisdom. Then it left me. On top of everything else, I feel powerless and overwhelmed with grief that it’s gone, and I have no idea if it will ever come back.’
‘Perhaps, when you get your magic back, the knowledge will return.’ His words sound optimistic, but only a fool should ever be optimistic.
‘I’ll never get my Bloodstone back from Grayson.’ And then it hits me. I sit up. ‘Maybe I don’t need to! If Rebecca’s ring had magic, her necklace might have it too! I could use it to attack Grayson and steal back my Bloodstone, and then, on the Blood-moon, I could do the second stone.’ I’m up on my feet, filled with a flicker of hope. Even in this excessive pit of misery and pain, a flicker is enough to help me see some hope. ‘I could have my magic back! We could finish the spell and leave this shit-hole behind for good!’
‘But we have no idea where the necklace is,’ he says, joining me on his feet.
‘The next Blood-moon is a little over four months away. That doesn’t give us much time.’ I’m pacing back and forth, my thoughts raging. ‘Connor will be able to track it down, and if we dig in my head for the lost memories-’
‘Lilly… don’t you think you’ve learnt enough about your past? Maybe we should just leave it be.’
‘If I don’t find the necklace before the Blood-moon, the first stone will seal and we will never reach the Arcane realm. The Hunters plague will spread, their hatred contaminating every human on earth and it won’t stop until we are all dead! I think that trumps my emotional trauma’s. Besides, I’m fine.’ I snatch up my boots left abandoned by the end of the bed and start sliding them on my feet.
‘You are not fine.’
‘I am perfectly-’
‘Your mum tried to kill you!’ he snaps. ‘You dad is Jensen Hartley!’ I continue tying my laces, albeit, a little slower. ‘For God’s sake, Lilly. You are one more nasty revelation away from Breaking and I won’t stand by and watch you disappear, only to be taken over by a monster that will rival Toby’s sadistic cruelty.’
I slam my foot down on the floor and stand.
‘I will not Break, Gabriel. I am stronger than that. As long as I have you… as long as I have Amara, and Collins, and Connor…. As long as I have hope… I will never give up. Got it?’
I wait. He opens his mouth to argue but thinks better of it. He nods instead.
‘Good. Then let’s get going. Before Grayson catches up with the delay.’
