I walk past Gabriel and return to the car after he stood there in silence for far too long, just staring at me. I never ever wanted the truth about who Ryan really was to get out. It’s disgusting and vile and probably more than Gabriel can handle. I climb into the back seat of the car, alone, and think that perhaps this will be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. There’s only so much a person can live with. His future wife was in a relationship with his brother. Was pregnant with his baby. Is smothered in scars. Has made him lose his family and his home. And now he learns that she was abused by her own cousin.
Amara’s the first to return to the car. She sits beside me and takes my hand in hers.
‘I love you, Honey.’
‘I don’t see why.’ I pull my hand away and tuck my knees up so I can bury my head in them. The rest of the doors open and close as they return to the car, and we drive off.
No one says a word.
∞∞∞
An hour passes. The car is unbearably silent as I sit with my head resting against the cold glass. I ache inside as no one speaks. I twist the brilliant blue sapphire diamond sitting on my finger again and again, hating that I’m wearing it. I should have told Gabriel the truth about Ryan sooner. Now, he probably feels obligated to carry on with our relationship because he’s a good man and would never want to hurt me by calling off the wedding. He’s gone to such lengths to be with me. He’s lost his brother. His home. His coven. His life is in danger now, more than ever, all because he wanted to be with me. And now he knows the most sordid details of an already sordid part of my life. I slide the ring off my finger as tears prick my eyes. I’ll end it, let him off the hook. It’s the least I can do for him after everything that I’ve already put him through. I kiss the ring and clasp it tightly in my palm.
I lift my eyes and see him watching me intently through the rear-view mirror. He saw me take it off and he starts shaking his head.
‘No. No-no-no.’ Gabriel unclips his seat belt. ‘That is not fucking happening. No!’
‘Mate… She needs some space.’ Collins says, attempting to calm him down.
‘I’ve given her enough space as I’m willing to. She’s taken off her engagement ring.’
‘She what?’
‘She doesn’t need space. She needs me.’
Gabriel turns on the radio, dialing up the volume so the speakers rattle. He clambers between the two front seats and makes his way towards me. He’s all limbs as he squeezes between the chairs and apologies as his arse ends up in Collins’s face. Connor and Jensen move aside to make room for him to get through the second row of seats.
‘Move over, sweetheart,’ he says to Amara, who’s already started climbing over the seats to give him her seat. They get a little tangled as they maneuver past each other and Jensen narrowly misses Gabriel’s boot from whacking into his nose. Amara lands with a squeak on Connor’s lap, her feet on the roof and her head in the foot well. Gabriel crashes into the seat next to me and pulls off his jacket. He gets as close to me as he can before throwing his coat over both our heads and guiding my face to his in the darkness. The radio still blares. Our voices and faces are hidden from everyone else. This is as much privacy as we can get in this car.
‘Now, you listen to me,’ he says sternly. ‘And you listen fucking hard. I love you. You hear that? I. Fucking. Love. You. How many times must I say it before it sticks? When will you believe me?’ He takes my hand which still holds his ring and gives it a gentle squeeze. ‘What happened to you when you were a child was not your fault. It was something beyond your control.’
‘It’s disgusting. It’s unnatural-’
‘Yeah. It was. Because sexual abuse is disgusting,’ he says firmly. ‘Rape is unnatural. You, my love… are not.’
‘He was my cousin,’ I whisper shamefully.
‘He was a piece of shit. He was a monster. And now he’s gone. Hey…’ He lifts my face and the brightness of his eyes bore into mine. But I struggle to hold his gaze and keep glancing away. ‘I would never hold anything that happened to you, against you. I would never think less of you. I would never blame you. And frankly, I’m hurt that you think that I would.’
‘You didn’t talk to me. When you found out, you just stared at me.’
‘It was a bit of a shock, Lilly. It took me by surprise, that’s all. By the time I’d got it straight in my head, which was like… thirty seconds by the way, you had charged off into the car. They all told me I should give you some space to let you calm down. I promise you that I am never taking their advice again. It was not because I didn’t love you anymore.’ His lips kiss my knuckles. ‘Why did you take the ring I gave you off? You don’t want to marry me?’
‘Why would you even want to marry me? For God’s sake-’
He takes hold of my chin and refuses to let go. When I give in and look into his eyes, he tells me, ‘You are worth everything and so much more. Every morning, I look at you and I think… I will never love you more than I do right now. And then you do or say something that just dazzles me, and my heart grows purely so it can love you more. You are the bravest, kindest, and most resilient woman I have ever met. If I were you, I would be drunk on the floor every single fucking day rather than face half the shit you’ve been through. The fact that you get the strength not only to live, but to love and to fight, it’s the most amazing and incredible thing I have ever witnessed. I will always love you. No matter what you’ve been through. What you do. Where you go. What path you choose to take. I will be right by your side, loving you more and more every single fucking day. I’m pissed you didn’t tell me, Lilly. I’m pissed that you were willing to risk your safety under Grayson’s captivity knowing that my plan to replace you with Junior was never going to happen. I’m pissed that you didn’t trust me enough to confide in me. But you want to know what really pisses me off?’ He prizes open my hand. His ring sits in my palm. ‘I’m pissed that you thought I wouldn’t love you anymore because the man that hurt you against your will was related to you. You don’t love me anymore and you want to end this? Fine. Take the ring. Sell it. Use the money to help you on your way to whatever it is that you want to do. I mean, I’ll probably follow you like a weird stalker. But if that’s what you want, then I’ll accept it. Kind of. But if you’re doing this because you think for a second that this is what I want, then you are absofuckinglutely wrong. Me and you, Beautiful. Against the crazy voice in your head. Against psycho-exes and obsessed brothers. Mad father in-laws that just tried to shoot me and sadistic Hunters that want to eradicate us. Me and you against the whole fucking world.’
‘Against the world,’ I grin, with happy tears marking my cheeks. His words are perfect. He’s perfect. My perfect.
‘The sky is pink. Absofuckinglutely pink. Yeah?’
‘Yeah.’ I nod.
‘Can I put your engagement ring back on your finger?’
With a grin, I nod. ‘Yes, please.’ He replaces the ring and I swell with affection. ‘I absofuckinglutely love you, Gabriel.’
‘I love you more, future wife.’
‘Impossible, future husband.’ I lean in to kiss him but he retreats. ‘What?’
‘Marry me.’
‘I will. I will.’
‘No. Marry me now. Let’s get married today. What do you say?’
