Toby lingers by the door, pacing back and forth like an excited child. He never looks away from me. Not once. His eyes are narrowed on me completely, and mine on him. I remain chained low to the wall, unable to stand or move further than five feet. I try hard not to let panic take me. I must think of some way to get out of here!
Grayson continues to yell in the other cell as Ava tortures him and Hendrix is laying out a series on instruments on a steel table to the side of me. A bowl. A funnel. And a knife. He lays them all down with care and precision.
‘Did he do this to you?’ I ask Hendrix, finally looking away from Toby. ‘Does he have control over you and your actions?’
Hendrix snorts. ‘No. Don’t be stupid. He has to fuck his puppets to make them compliant. My boat don’t float for dick, Little Witch. And Vampires can’t suffer a Break, so…’
‘Then why are you helping him? Hendrix,’ I say in the calmest tone I can muster. ‘Whatever Toby has promised you, you have to know he’s lying. He will never-’
‘I’m going to stop ya there, Little Witch.’ He leaves the room but soon returns with a strange grey box which he sets up beside the knife. He starts unraveling cables, not even looking at me as he carries on talking, setting up whatever it is. ‘I’m doing anything I need to do to return my species to the world. You have no idea what it’s like being the last of your kind. I need my species back. Toby has made me guarantees that outshine Grayson’s halfhearted promises a hundred-fold.’
‘Don’t do this. Help me get out of here. I can promise you-’
‘Nothing. Ya hate me. I know ya do. Ya think I’m disgusting and what I am is grotesque.’ He trails the cable to the door. Both he and Toby look at me smugly. ‘I ain’t helping ya out of those chains. I ain’t setting ya free. You’re just my boss’s property. I was ordered to keep ya safe until he could get ya back, so I did. If I didn’t, then our deal would be off. That’s all.’ After shoving the plug into a socket, the grey box starts projecting white light on the wall almost entirely. Hendrix turns to face me. As we stare at each other I see a flicker of guilt on his face. Something I have never seen on him before but it is unmistakable. I wasn’t ever expecting to see it there and I’m sure he wasn’t planning on feeling it either, but I grab the chance.
‘Please,’ I ask in a sad whisper. ‘Hendrix, please, help me. I promise you I will help you when the Veil is down. Just… Don’t let him take control of me like this. I don’t want to Break. I don’t want to destroy humanity. I don’t want him to touch me the way he wants to, please. Please, Hendrix. I don’t hate you and I know you don’t hate me either. We spent time together. We had a connection. You know we did.’
Toby glances at him to see what reaction I have stirred. Hendrix walks towards me and kneels in front of me. Toby’s fists clench and his black and white flames flicker to life, just in case.
‘You said I was your friend. This is wrong. What he wants to do is wrong. It’s not the way. I know the right way. I know how we can save everyone. Toby doesn’t want to save anyone, he just wants them to suffer.’
‘I know you’re scared, Little Witch. And if I’m being honest, even if Toby hadn’t ordered me to stop Grayson, I would’ve, cos yeah, I do like ya. I meant what I said about considering you a friend. You’re a tough chick and I admire that. I do. But this is bigger than me, and it’s bigger than you. Humanity’s time is done. The age of magic and vampires is here. And we need your Arcane magic to win this fight.’
‘There doesn’t need to be a fight.’
‘Yes. There does.’
‘I just want to go home, Hendrix. I’m getting married.’
He shakes his head sadly. ‘No. You’re not.’
‘I don’t deserve this. And humanity doesn’t deserve a Broken Arcane under the control of a psychopath.’
‘You needn’t think of a Break as a bad thing.’
‘It turns you into a monster. I don’t want to be a monster.’
‘But don’t ya see? Ya already are a monster, Little Witch. We all are, because that’s what humanity has turned us into. A cornered lion will lash out. An injured dog will bite. And when a person has been hunted and persecuted their entire life, they do dark things for the right reasons. Let Toby have his revenge on ya for what ya did. Let him settle the score. He’ll Break ya and his need for vengeance will be satisfied. Then you’ll go back to how ya were together all those years ago and eventually, ya probably won’t even mind being under his control. It’ll be just like the good-old-times.’
I look at Toby briefly as he watches our exchange uneasily. ‘Like when he killed my baby? Those good-old-times?’
Toby shows me a sarcastic sneer.
‘Despite what you think, he does care about ya. You’re all that man thinks about. He has risked his life over and over just to get ya back. Damn, he killed his own kid so ya wouldn’t die. Even though he knew that ya would never forgive him for it. Say what ya will about a Broken Witch, I don’t think it’s as cut-and-dry as not carin’ no more.’
‘I’m supposed to be thankful?’ I ask, disgusted at every one of his words and the sincerity he dares utter them with. ‘What he did to me was as far from love as possible.’
‘He saved your life. That baby was going to kill ya and then die in the long-run anyway. You die, Hunters will kill us all. They ain’t fuckin about with swords no more. They’ve got fucking nuclear bombs! Without you, we don’t stand a chance. We all owe him our thanks for makin’ that hard choice.’
I lean in close to his face. ‘You’ll regret saying that. Mark my words, vampire. You’ll regret it dearly.’
Any hope of Hendrix helping me leaves as quickly as it came. The vampire is completely under Toby’s thrall. The same as so many others. My past-self included. Toby could captivate anyone. I saw it time and time again. His ability to force his will on others. Make them do what he wanted. Behave how he wanted. His beauty. His rare kindness and frequent cruelty. His every word chosen and delivered with perfection. And he has Hendrix now. I see Toby smile his cruel sneer from the door as Hendrix stands and returns to his side.
I sit straighter and hold my head high. The chain is heavy around my neck and I’m tired and sore from the last few days. My beautiful dress is all I have as a comfort. My only link to Gabriel who must be out of his mind with worry.
‘The problem with your plan is that it will never work,’ I tell them both as they fold their arms across their chests, laughing at my attempt to display defiance. ‘You spent so many years teaching me how temporary pain is. My pain threshold is unbelievable. You will never Break me.’
‘I don’t plan on Breaking you with my fists, Red. I don’t intend on hurting your body because yes, I did do such a good job at making you strong. But while I was busy making your body tough, I was also tearing down your self-worth and sanity.’ He taps his temple with his finger. ‘I plan on breaking your mind.’ He rests his hand over his chest. ‘And breaking your heart. Every time you have gotten close to Breaking, it was when your sadness and hurt got too much. You forget, I know all your triggers. All the darkness inside you. So… let’s see how much anguish we can put you through, shall we?’
My legs clench together. He sees and shakes his head.
‘I know how you fear the touch of another. And Hendrix here, as well as several of my other loyal men, have all offered their services in the event I fail in my attempts. And if I do fail, I will call them here to this house, hidden in the woods miles from civilisation, and they will have their rather brutal way with you. But call me selfish, I don’t want to share you unless I have to. So, for now, it’s just us. Let’s try my way first, shall we? And then go from there.’ He gives two short, sharp whistles. Grayson’s yelling stops and a heavy door opens down the hall. The rust on its hinges groan, and when it closes, the thud echoes around us. Delicate little footsteps travel down the hall until Ava appears in the middle of the two men. Bruises mark almost all of her face and her hair has been hacked off. She beams down at me, the split on her lip cracks and starts to bleed, but she pays no attention. She clings to Toby’s arm and gazes up at him in childlike awe. He doesn’t even react to her appearance.
‘What happened to you?’ I ask.
Toby answers. ‘I was annoyed that I failed to get you back at the British museum. Ava very kindly allowed me to take my frustrations out on her.’ He looks down at her and smiles a sickly grin. ‘Didn’t you, kitten?’
She nods keenly, beaming like a child being praised for doing a good job. ‘Anything for you, baby,’ she giggles.
I shuffle on my knees, loathing the short length of my chain. My heart races in my chest and every beat pumps hatred and anger through my veins. I feel it. It’s so hot it burns. My skin hums as if my bound magic wants to spew forth and kill them all on my behalf. I taste it in my mouth. Like licking a battery. I smell it. Like burning rubber.
Toby looks back to me. She stands on her tip toes and kisses his cheek. ‘Grayson’s such a fun toy to play with. Thank you so much for-’
‘Hush.’ Toby’s word silences her instantly and she continues looking up at him with admiration. ‘It’s time to play with our new toy now.’
Ava looks down at me and a flicker of jealous rage attempts to swallow her up. But with a few blinks, she gets it under control.
She smiles a feminine version of Toby’s callous grin. The way she delicately bites her lower lip and how her eyes sparkle with joy as I have no choice but to kneel before her, makes my fingers tingle. The flesh of which longs to grip her neck or feel the warmth of her life’s blood drip slowly down them. I clench my fists tightly together. My nails dig into my palm and it’s only my blood I feel warm my extremities. She dances on her toes, bouncing up and down in childlike excitement at whatever is to come.
‘LILLY?’ Grayson hollers from down the hallway. I hear he’s struggling to catch his breath and is obviously in pain. ‘LILLY, YOU STAY STRONG. YOU DON’T LET HIM WIN, YOU HEAR ME?’
When the man that attempted to rape me is the only comfort I get, I know I’m fucked.
Toby kicks the door closed.
The question of what the grey box is for, is soon answered. The lights are turned off and an image of me appears on the wall.
A video.
Ryan is positioning his camera phone on the old dresser in my attic bedroom. I’m asleep in bed behind him. I watch as he sneaks across the room to me.
‘What is this?’ I ask, my eyes wide at the enormous image before me. ‘Toby… What-’ Ryan yanks the covers from the bed and the version of me on the video goes to scream.
‘You didn’t know he used to film his attacks?’ Toby asks, sauntering towards me. ‘Neither did I. Not until I took his phone and had a good look. Fifty-three videos. Two hundred and eight photos. All of you.’
I close my eyes and cover my ears as the video starts to play out. My screams and cries make me feel sick. Toby wants me to watch so he pins my hands behind my back. I may have to listen, but I won’t watch.
‘Ava, my sweet. Fetch the knife from the table. My girl here won’t look so I need you to cut off her eyelids for me.’
I quickly open them. Ava looks disappointed when Toby tells her not to bother. He’s kneeling behind me now, his chin resting on my shoulder as he forces me to watch.
‘Toby… Please…’ I try to get him off, but each attempt makes his grip tighter. His mouth goes to my neck and his heavy breathing is both angry and excited. Then, as the video on the wall continues, he starts kissing my neck. His teeth nip my skin and his tongue trails upwards.
In the corner of my eye, I see her. She flickers into life for the briefest moment, watching the images on the wall with her hands behind her back and an interested expression on her face, like a connoisseur, trying to figure out a Picasso. My Broken-self turns, peering at me over her shoulder. She smirks, before flickering out of sight.
‘Keep watching, Lills.’ Toby draws out the nickname Ryan used for me. ‘Remember his touch. Remember how he hurt you. Remember it all.’
Ava is giggling in the corner, watching the video with joy. Hendrix looks at the floor.
I feel the memory of Ryan’s touch. I feel the fear he used to inflict on me and the dread I would feel every time he was close.
From the corner of my eye, I spot my Broken-self wandering around. I try to follow her, but Toby won’t let me look away from the video.
So I watch. He touches my body and caresses my skin with his mouth and tongue.
I don’t blink. I refuse to. My eyes become dry and my vision blurs. They burn with the need for moisture but I refuse to give it to them. I keep watching, seeing nothing more than out of focus, fuzzy images. In my head, I create Gabriel’s voice. He’s reading to me. Reciting every bit of my Cinderella story. His voice drowns out my muffled crying that echoes around this stone cell of mine. Toby continues kissing my neck and whispering taunts into my ear. It’s half an hour before he realises I’ve gone stock-still and drifted into my own world. He starts yelling and shaking me. When I don’t respond, I get a hard slap. I blink some much-needed moisture back into my eyes and let my senses return to the here and now. I look up at Toby.
‘You think I survived all those years of his abuse without learning how to separate myself from his attacks? Ryan is dead. These images are just light and colour. Want to know where I was just now?’ I tap my temple. ‘With Gabriel. On a beach. Happy.’
He tries to contain his temper.
‘I want more projectors,’ Toby orders. ‘And the biggest speakers you can find.’
∞∞∞
Time has lost its meaning. Day. Night. It’s all a mystery to me. I’ve been here for days now. My head hurts with the excruciating volume of these videos. Every wall and even the ceiling is covered in Ryan’s footage. My screaming and crying all overlap as different videos play out. The others have left the room to eat and sleep. I lean against the wall wanting so much to sleep but if I close my eyes for too long, the door opens and a bucket of ice cold water is thrown over me by Hendrix.
When the sound disappears but the videos remain, I worry I’ve gone deaf. But then Toby returns to the room and I hear him loud and clear.
‘I brought you some food.’ He holds up a tall mug of steaming soup. I take it. I need to keep my strength up and maintain my senses. But I only manage a couple of sips before he takes it back. He filled it all the way to the top only to deprive me of enjoying it all. I try to keep hold of the mug but I fail. So, I spit my mouthful of chicken soup in his smug little face. Thick cream sauce drips off his features and his smirk turns into a grimace. He takes off his black t-shirt and uses it to wipe himself clean.
‘You still have your spirit. Shame. Let’s try something else, shall we? No more naps and a different film.’
‘Bring it on.’ I lean back against the wall and straighten out my wedding dress which is now completely ruined, but I still love it. It’s all I have. Around Toby’s neck is a chain. Hanging on that chain is my engagement ring. I sense the magic from my mother’s necklace close by.
The images on the walls go white and are soon replaced with other videos. These ones hurt my heart. It seems Ava also enjoys filming. And she filmed every night she shared with Gabriel for some sick reason. My eyes are dry from days of barely any sleep. My ears are still ringing from my past screams and now I’m being beaten by Ava’s over the top moaning.
‘Why film this?’
‘I asked her to. Just in case you ever returned.’ He leaves, laughing as he closes the door. I pull my knees up and rest my head on my arms.
‘He didn’t know,’ I whisper. ‘He didn’t know. He didn’t know.’
I force my mind away from this hell. I cover my ears to drown out the noise. I get two minutes of respite until the door opens as it always does when I try to shield my senses. I’m showered with ice cubes and freezing water. I lift my head and gasp at the sudden chill. Hendrix lowers the bucket and undoes his flies. Then starts urinating into it.
‘His orders,’ he says, gesturing over his shoulder. He finishes and puts it by the door. ‘If you close your eyes or cover your ears again, I’m to throw this over you instead of the water. Just… Break already, would ya?’
‘I’m sorry. Is my torture upsetting you, Hendrix?’
‘More than I thought it would, yeah.’
‘My heart bleeds…’
He leaves and kicks the door shut as he leaves, sealing me in this dungeon once more.
Hours pass.
My body starts to shake. I feel a chill start to stir under my skin and I’m beginning to perspire. My eyes glaze over and when I blink, Ava is standing in front of me.
‘Your eyes are open, but you seem far away.’ I guess she’s right because I didn’t see her walk in. She nudges the bucket with her foot. ‘If you close your eyes, I get to toss this over you.’
‘Get gone, Ava.’ My words come out in a garbled slur and I don’t have enough strength in me to lift my head.
She erupts in laughter. ‘What the fuck is wrong with you? You sound like you’ve had a stroke.’
‘I haven’t slept in days. The body needs sleep.’ I raise my hand which is hard work to do and rub my eyes aggressively. No way am I going to be showered with urine. The video is still playing. She takes a moment to watch her own show.
‘Does he fuck you like that?’ she asks, pointing to the ceiling. ‘Gabriel? He’s got stamina, huh?’
‘He looks me in the eye when we’re together. He tells me he loves me. And I orgasm at least twice before he does. Then after, we fall asleep wrapped around each other naked and holding each other close, so no, Ava. Gabriel doesn’t fuck me like that.’ I point upwards. ‘Even my uncle’s dogs were more into the leg they were humping, than he is into you in any of these videos.’ I furrow my brow. ‘Does Toby still fuck you from behind like he used to back when we were together? You know, he used to watch me when he was with you.’
‘Only to make sure you were watching us.’
‘No. It was to keep his dick hard,’ I laugh. ‘Does he even screw you now? HEY!’ I yell to the door. ‘TOBIAS? DO YOU STILL FUCK AVA? OR CAN YOU ONLY GET IT UP WHEN I’M THERE?’
‘Shut your fucking mouth,’ she hisses.
‘Oh dear. I’ve struck a nerve, huh?’ It takes a lot to force the cruel laughter I do. My head is still swimming with exhaustion and I’m starting to feel a little delirious. So I don’t see the heel of her shoe till it pounds my face. Strangely, I don’t feel pain, but I feel the thud as the back of my head hits the wall. She’s screeching like a woman possessed as my head wobbles from side to side. I laugh with blood between my teeth and dark spots blurring my vision.
‘You think you’re funny?’ She turns and grabs the pail of urine before returning to me and sealing my nose shut with her free hand. The pail is over my face, the liquid within it an inch from spilling out. ‘When you open your mouth, I’m going to pour Hendrix’s piss down your throat. Now, that’s funny.’ My lips seal shut. I will not open my mouth. I’ll suffocate first. Her fingers pinch my nose even tighter. ‘OPEN YOUR MOUTH!’
The next thing I see is Hendrix throwing her out of the room. Their words are mumbled over the still playing video. But whatever he says has her storming off. Hendrix looks down at me.
‘Ya alright, Little Witch?’
The extra hits to my already battered skull is too much. ‘I’m… going… to… be-’ I wretch and fall, ending up on my back, gagging. I watch him rush over as I start to lose consciousness.
She’s there again, watching me, her arms folded across her chest and her ashen hair falling over her shoulders.
∞∞∞
My bout of unconsciousness has refueled me a little and when I open my eyes several hours later, the videos are off and the room is empty. Not even my ghostly friend is here. It was actually Grayson’s voice that returned me to the world of the living, travelling from down the corridor outside my prison.
‘Lilly? Lilly? Are you alive? Speak. Say something.’
‘I’m alive,’ I groan, rubbing my head. I don’t even bother trying to sit myself up. I remain on my side on the floor and the metal collar is still firmly around my neck. ‘How long have we been here?’
‘About a week.’ He then goes on to tell me to be strong. To stay me. To not let them win. It all fades away as I lie motionless and sore on the floor. His words of comfort are meaningless to me.
A week? How can it be a week?
I wonder where Gabriel is. If he and my friends are okay. Does he know who has me? Are the Hunters closing in on everyone? What if I don’t get out of here before the Blood-moon and my chance to finish the spell is lost for good?
My stomach flips as I push myself up. The room spins and I feel so nauseous, I wretch. But there’s nothing in my system to expel. As I try to breathe through it all, I feel something else. It suddenly springs into existence and at first, I have no idea what it is.
A small flutter of warmth from deep inside my belly. Like a tiny little fire spluttering to life. I lay my palm over it… and feel it hum. Ever so slightly, but I know I feel it.
Magic.
Magic inside me. Something that’s connected to the Arcane realm, just as Gabriel is, and Collins too. The way their magic feels in the air, I feel it now coming from inside me. It’s not my own and I have no access to it at all. But I feel it there. And it feels like… like… love! Unconditional and innocent love!
‘That’s not possible,’ I whisper, resting both hands on my stomach. ‘How is this possible?’
Heavy footsteps start to get closer from down the hall. I lower my hands and watch the doorway anxiously. In walks Hendrix. His arms cross over his chest as he shakes his head and tuts at me.
‘You’re a tough cookie. Ya know, Toby’s gonna have me fuck you soon. He knows you fear touch and I don’t wanna alarm ya, but I’m not exactly small down there. You’re so little I might split ya right down the middle. Can you please just Break?’
‘I’m hungry,’ I blurt out, as my heart thumps harder and fear dries out my mouth. Because now I am really terrified of how far they’ll go to Break me if they figure out what has just happened.
‘Yeah, yeah. I’ll get ya some food. Hold on.’ He turns to head out and grab me something to eat but his feet slow to a stop at the threshold. He sniffs and starts looking around the room with a confused look on his face. ‘What’s that noise?’
‘What noise?’
He turns and sticks out his ear, straining to hear. I strain to listen myself but hear nothing different.
‘What can you hear?’
‘Shh!’ He rests his finger on his lip and slowly starts walking around the edge of the room. ‘What the hell is that?’
‘What?’
He walks slowly, running his hand along the wall and looking up, down, and all around for the mysterious noise. He stops by my feet and squats down. His ear lowers. And then his dark eyes lift to mine.
‘Oh my god,’ he whispers. ‘There’s a teeny tiny little heart, beating inside your belly.’
I shake my head violently.
‘No. That’s not – I’m sleep deprived and-’
‘Pregnant.’ He stands and steps back. ‘You’re fucking pregnant! Oh Christ.’
‘Hendrix… I-’
‘But this is perfect! I did wonder. When you healed lover-boy after he got his arm hacked off. I wondered what else you might have fixed. He’s knocked you up!’ He claps his hands together making me jump. ‘And if there’s one thing we know for sure what will make you Break… Yes! Finally, this can end!’
‘No!’ He turns and goes to the door. I try to stop him but the chain yanks me back. ‘NO! HENDRIX, PLEASE! DON’T TELL HIM! HENDRIX!’
‘It’s okay, Little witch. Once it’s done and you Break, you won’t care about that little heartbeat anymore. I promise.’
He’s gone. The sound of his triumphant laughter fades as he goes to fetch Toby.
I’m shaking and dizzy with fear for the soul that just sprung to life inside me. I must be at least three weeks pregnant if its heart has only just started beating. A baby conceived with love and so will be born like me. It already has its connection to the Arcane realm. I can feel it.
‘Grayson?!’ I scream. ‘GRAYSON?!’
‘What? What’s happened?’ he calls back from down the hall.
‘I’m pregnant. I’m-I’m pregnant and Hendrix knows. He’s going to get Toby. Toby will kill it to make me Break again! Oh god. Grayson, you have to help me!’
‘Pregnant?’ he repeats in shock. ‘That’s not possible. Gabriel can’t have-’
We both hear Toby’s voice which sounds livid and violent. Hendrix is with him. I hear them talking quickly.
‘Grayson… Grayson?’ He’s gone quiet, but I know that if he wants anything, it’s a powerful child. ‘This baby will have magic. I feel it now, inside me. It will be an Arcane. You have to help me save it!’
‘You sense it?’ he asks in a rush. ‘With your Sensativa? You sense it now? LILLY? DO YOU SENSE-’
‘Yes! Yes! I sense it! It’s heart just started beating and… and Hendrix heard it. I felt its connection to the Arcane realm being created. Grayson, please. Help me.’ The footsteps get closer. And closer. ‘Grayson?’ He’s gone deathly quiet. ‘GRAYSON?!’
Toby appears in the doorway and yes, he’s infuriated.
‘Well, isn’t this just fucking perfect,’ he spits. ‘Grayson won’t help you, you fucking whore. How dare you!’
‘Don’t do this, Toby.’ I shuffle back. ‘Please… Don’t!’
‘Hold her down,’ he orders Hendrix, as he points a trembling finger at me. Ava appears behind him looking gleeful.
‘Let me hold her down. Oh, please? Please, baby? Let me hold her down.’
‘Fine. Ava, my sweet. Hold her arms above her head. Hendrix, get her legs.’
‘Grayson?’ I call out fretfully as I rise to my knees, ready to fight them off. ‘Don’t you dare touch me,’ I warn them. ‘Don’t you dare. I will kill you. I will fucking kill you!’
‘Maybe we should let her keep it for a bit?’ Hendrix offers. ‘Wait till she gets attached. Ensure she Breaks.’
‘I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!’ I encircle my arms tightly around my middle and tears start falling fast down my cheeks. I back up until I’m pressed to the wall. ‘You won’t take my baby. Not again. Not again.’
‘She’s attached.’ Toby surveys me like I’m filth.
‘GRAYSON!’ I scream, clutching my belly.
They both head towards me.
‘GODDAMN IT, GRAYSON! IF I BREAK I SWEAR TO GOD-’
‘EGO-VOS-ACCEPTERE!’ Grayson yells back. ‘SAY IT. SAY IT NOW!’
Hendrix grips my ankles and yanks them out from under me. I scream and kick as he stretches me out and I claw and hit out at Ava as she giggles while trying to get hold of my hands.
Behind Toby, my Broken-self watches.
‘FUCKING SAY IT!’ Grayson roars. ‘IT’S A SUMMONING SPELL. SAY IT, AND YOU’LL TAP INTO YOUR BABY’S CONNECTION TO THE ARCANE REALM!’
‘Cover her mouth!’ Toby orders. ‘QUICKLY!’
‘EGO-VOS-ACCEPTERE!’ I yell out before anyone can stop me.
There’s one hell of a surge from inside me as soon as the words are said. My chest fills with air as I gasp deeply and my whole body vibrates.
Rebecca Hooper’s words and wisdoms rush back to me and I remember all that I lost. But that’s not all I have back.
I have magic!
