I’d dropped Asher off at his place and said hi to Dad. Asher didn’t speak in the car at all, and neither did I. I didn’t know what to say. He thanked me for the lift, then I left for home.
I needed time to think about what he’d said. It was all too much. So much shit had gone down since I moved back home. Jace, Roman, Hunter, now Asher and Grady. I’m starting to think I’m cursed. Everything I touch turns to shit. Well, not Hunter—he’s my gold. I finally drifted off to sleep, but it was fitful, my dream dark.
Actually, it was more a bad feeling about Roman. It seemed so real, the feelings washing over me all dark and twisted, like I knew something bad is going to happen to him. Like, really bad. And I need to stop it. Were those guys back? Did they want to hurt him? We haven’t spoken about them, but I worry about it every day.
Even though it sounds silly when I explain everything to him, I’m glad I came, if only to see with my own two eyes that he’s safe. Except, now that I’m here, I don’t want to leave. I can’t imagine leaving him behind. His room is neat and tidy, for what there is in here—a few football trophies, a poster of Metallica on his wall, his neatly made bed, and an old, broken dresser. It isn’t much, but Roman’s whole life is in this room.
The rest of the place doesn’t look like this. I can tell his father never cleans. He must fall asleep with his cigarettes still lit, as there are ash and burn marks in the carpet around his chair. I don’t think he even cooks. Roman probably does the bulk of that as well. It makes me so angry that Roman has to take care of himself and his father, where for most kids it’s the other way around.
Roman clears his throat. “Let’s get you dry,” he mumbles under his breath.
I’d been worried that he would send me home the moment he saw me. Maybe if it hadn’t been raining, he would have. I smile to myself. Roman cares about me. He wants me to promise to never come here alone. I won’t. I’d never been so scared in my life. If it weren’t for the rain, I’m not sure if I would have made it here. Most people weren’t dumb enough to run around in it.
“Yeah, that would be great. I’m freezing.” I shiver because of how cold I actually am.
The wind had a slight chill to it when I had left home, and I’d been gone about twenty minutes before I realized the mistake I made with the weather. But I’d refused to turn back, not until I could see Roman with my own eyes.
“Should’ve packed an umbrella.” I try to lighten the mood.
The tension between us is so heavy, it’s weighing down my chest. I want to hug him, to kiss him. But I hold myself still; he doesn’t want those things. Roman doesn’t even smile at my words. He’s really upset about me coming here alone.
He grabs the hem of my hoodie again, and this time, I raise my arms as he pulls it up and over my head. It gets caught on my cast, and we both slowly peel the fabric off.
I didn’t realize how bad my cast is until I see it. Crap. I really shouldn’t have kept walking in the rain. It seems fine inside, just the outside is a little softer than it should be. I’m going to the hospital next week for a checkup, and they can decide if I need a new one. If anything, I want to take it off and scratch my arm.
He holds the towel out for me and looks down at my jeans. They’re so wet, they are going to be hard to take off without help. Taking a step back, he turns his back on me and pulls something out of his bag. He turns back to me with a dry hoodie, one I’ve seen him wear many times.
“You can wear this to keep warm, and I’ll drive you home. Fix your car’s tire.”
I nod in thanks, but I don’t want to leave just yet. Once I’m home, he will help me fix the tire, but then he’ll leave. I want to keep this, whatever this is, for longer. Just to sit here and talk or listen to him. I know he’s not much of a talker. But anything I can get, just silence with him beside me, is all I need right now.
I take my time trying to dry my hair as best I can. My t-shirt is damp, but it will dry. My hoodie will need to be put in a dryer, and I doubt I’ll find one at Roman’s place.
Jamming my right arm into the hoodie is a struggle. The cast is tight in the sleeve, even though it’s so big. I think it’s just catching onto the fabric. Once I have it on, it swamps my body, and it smells just like Roman.
I try to sniff it discreetly, but when I look over, I see him watching me with a puzzled expression. I smile and shrug. So what, sue me. I love the smell of him.
The fact that he’d given me a hug and touched me more times in the last ten minutes than he has since I’ve been back says something. He wants to, and he’s holding back to protect me from all this bad shit. It breaks my heart that he thinks he has to protect me. Shouldn’t I be able to make that choice for myself?
Thinking back to that kiss at Jace’s house—the one where he pressed me against the door—I lick my lips, wanting to chase after that memory right now.
Roman takes a step toward me, his eyes roaming my face, before he pushes some of my hair behind my ear. He gives me a crooked smile and my belly flip-flops with butterflies. “Are you warm?”
I smile. I wish I could keep his hoodie, but I know he doesn’t have a lot. And as much as I want to snuggle up with it at night, I have to give it back to him.
My pulse picks up as he steps closer again. His chin rests on my head as he tugs me into a bear hug. I hadn’t been expecting it so my arms are pinned to my sides. I want to touch him, but maybe he did it this way so I wouldn’t.
He pulls back a little, and I do the same, looking up at him. His eyes watch me as he tilts his head slightly, his hair falling from behind his ear as he moves in close. Our foreheads touch, and his hair is like a curtain to the outside world. In here, nothing can hurt us.
His eyes close, and I follow suit as I feel the soft touch of his lips against mine. I go with him, not wanting to stop. It’s soft and slow, nothing like the kiss we shared against that door. No, this is like the kiss we shared on the road.
My last kiss.
Is this what this is? Is he giving me my last kiss again? It isn’t a kiss goodbye from me. This is only the beginning. I reach my left hand up and between us. My fingers snake around his neck, and I feel him tense under my touch.
If this is my last kiss, I’m going to make it the best one.
Pulling him closer to me, he opens his mouth. My tongue sweeps over his, and we kiss like we are at war. One waving a white flag and the other still fighting. I won’t let us end like this. I don’t care what he thinks. I’m safer when I’m with him.
I bite his lip, and he lets out a hiss. I open my eyes to see the fire burning behind his as he grips my waist and pulls me against him. The wet jeans feel heavy against my skin. But so does he. It’s impossible to miss the hardness against my belly.
We stand there, our breaths mingling as we stare each other down. Nothing but the sound of the rain and my heart beating.
“Mila, I—”
The door to the trailer slams open and shut, and I jump in Roman’s arms. He turns me, pushing me behind his body as he stands tall, ready for anything.
I can feel him trembling under my hand. I’m not sure if it’s me or the person out there that’s making him shake, but I don’t want to let go of Roman.
“Where’s the rent, boy?” Damon calls out in the other room as another door slams shut. I hear what sounds like a bottle cap, and I think Roman’s father is out there, drinking a beer.
“Come, grab your stuff. I’ll take you home.”
Gone is the Roman from a few moments again. He’s rebuilt his walls and is back to the standoffish Roman he’s been all week. He takes my hand, which surprises me, as we leave his room. The smell of his father hits me, and I want to gag. Has the guy never showered?
His father turns to me and smiles. I want to throw up at the sight. It’s not a friendly smile.
“Oh, hello there again, sweet thang.”
We don’t say anything as Roman opens the door to the pouring rain.
“Aww, don’t leave. I bet I’m a lot more fun than he was.”
Yep, throwing up now.
