Hallie
Hallie walked into Charlie’s, and once her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the restaurant, she looked around for Kyle. It was tough, since she’d only seen the pictures on his profile, but maybe since she was ten minutes early, he wasn’t there—
“Hallie.”
She turned around at the sound of the voice, and there he was.
Thankfully, his face looked the same as his photo and he was a little taller than her. Overall, her first impression was that he was handsome and had a nice smile. He was wearing a button-down and jeans, and she had no complaints.
“Hey, Kyle.” She smiled and put her handbag under her arm. “Nice to finally meet you. You know, um, in person.”
“Same, same,” he said, gesturing with his arm toward the dining area. “I already have a table over there.”
“Perfect,” she said, and followed him over to the spot.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, she thought. It was just two people eating food together and talking; she liked both of those things, right? And she felt pretty confident that night, with her new hair, cute cashmere sweater, and full-on makeup, so she was going to throw herself into the magic and see what transpired.
She sat down across from him and picked up a menu, trying to remember what two strangers talked about on a first date.
“I’ve never eaten here, so you can’t blame me if it’s shit,” Kyle said, giving her a half smile. “Smells good, though.”
Hallie nodded. “It does.”
She opened her menu and started reading, trying to think of something to say. “Wow, everything looks so good.”
“Holy shit, twenty bucks for a burger?” Kyle shook his head in disgust and said, “That better be a gold-plated patty, am I right?”
She smiled and nodded, suddenly nervous about what she should order. If twenty was too much for a burger, would he think twelve was too much for a salad? “Right,” she said.
“It’s a first date, though, so you order whatever you want, Hal,” he said, smiling.
“Okay.” She laughed, feeling very uncomfortable all of a sudden, both with his attention to pricing and his comfort in dropping the second syllable of her name. She wanted to tell him that she’d happily pay for her meal, because she totally would, but she felt like he might be the kind of guy who would take that as an insult.
“No lobster, though,” he teased, and she’d never been so stressed out by the decision of what to order at a restaurant in all her life.
“Got it.”
When the waiter came over, Hallie ended up ordering a side salad and french fries, just to be doubly sure it wasn’t too expensive.
After they handed off their menus to the waiter before he walked away, Hallie took a sip of the wine Kyle had ordered before she arrived. When she glanced at Kyle, he was giving her a funny grin.
“What?” she asked, smiling.
He shook his head and said, “That’s all you’re going to eat? I swear, you women and your diets.”
Yes, because the french fry diet is all the rage, Kyle. She just said, “It just sounded really good to me.”
“Okay, hon,” he replied teasingly, and she reached for her wine yet again.
He started telling her about his job, and it was pretty interesting. He was a diesel mechanic who worked on big Caterpillar machines, and it sounded really cool. There was something super attractive about him as he talked about tools and mechanical things.
Made him seem incredibly capable.
“So what do you do, Hal?” He grabbed a roll from the basket at the center of the table, tore it open, and dipped his knife in the silver bowl of butter. “Something in finance, right?”
She nodded, grabbed a roll, and said, “I’m a tax accountant for—”
“Holy crap, this is fate!” Kyle smeared butter on his bun. “I’ve been looking for a new tax guy—mine moved to Frisco—and boom, here you are.”
I am tax guy? she thought.
He took a bite of his roll, smiled, and said, “How much do you charge?”
Hallie tore off a piece of her roll. “I don’t actually do people’s taxes; I’m a corporate tax accountant at HCC Corporation.”
His eyebrows went down. “But you know how to do them, right?”
“Well, yeah—” she started, but he interrupted her.
“So it’ll be some nice side money for you.”
She didn’t want to seem like a jerk, but she had no interest in doing anyone’s taxes. “Yeah, but I don’t really need any side money right now.”
He snorted and said, “What are you, rich?”
Okay, that condescending tone was not necessary, and she was over it.
“Rich enough to not have to do my blind date’s taxes,” she blurted out, regretting it immediately when, instead of laughing, his face got really, really red.
Needless to say, Hallie was unlocking her front door at nine thirty p.m. Which, to be fair, didn’t bother her all that much. She’d become quite the homebody since she and Ben had broken up, so Netflix and flannel pants were kind of her jam.
An hour later, when she was knuckle-deep in a bowl of popcorn, she got a message notification from the app. Please don’t let it be Kyle, she thought, imagining him reaching out to see if she’d reconsidered her aggressive opinions. She clicked into her messages and was happy to see it was Jack, not Kyle.
Jack: So . . . ? Did you find a love connection?
Hallie: Hardly. I found a man who got mad when I said I wouldn’t do his taxes.
Jack: Oof. Sorry, TB.
Hallie: Didn’t I tell you not to call me that?
Jack: Yeah, but I can’t help myself.
Hallie: So what about you? How was your date?
Jack: It wasn’t a date, it was an interview.
Hallie: She asked a lot of questions?
Jack: NOPE. I asked her questions—so what do you do, did you grow up here, etc. etc.—and she answered each question. Then . . . she didn’t say another word but just stared at me or her food.
Hallie: So it was like you were interviewing her and she was . . . ?
Jack: Absolutely uninterested in getting to know me.
Hallie: You didn’t say anything about getting your parts jiggled, did you?
Jack: It was jostled, and no. Maybe I should have.
Hallie: Did she seem like soul mate material if she HAD felt like engaging with your junk-jostled self?
Jack: Not at all.
Hallie took a sip of her soda and set it on the coffee table. I guess I’m making an assumption. Maybe you aren’t looking for a soul mate.
Jack: No, I am.
Hallie thought of his ex—what was her stupid name? Cam? Stran?
Van! Vanessa. Okay, so it wasn’t really a stupid name, but Hal still couldn’t get over the fact that he’d chosen her. To propose to. He clearly had I-can’t-be-single issues. She didn’t really know him, other than the fact that he was just as sarcastic as she was, but she still had to ask.
Hallie: Okay, don’t be pissed, because I’m not judging, but, like, you JUST broke up with your very serious girlfriend. How can you already be looking for a soul mate?
Jack: It’s a fair question, so I’ll allow it.
Hallie: Gee, thanks.
Jack: I know it sounds weird, but I think Vanessa and I were just going through the motions. Like, it felt serious on the outside, but it kind of wasn’t at all when it came down to what matters. Does that make any sense at all?
She was surprised that it sort of did.
Jack: We made all the big moves—living together, near-engagement—but we weren’t especially close in our day-to-day lives.
Hallie put her feet up on the coffee table and wondered if Ben would say that about their former relationship. She texted: Were you like roommates who slept together?
Sadly, that was something Ben had said to her during his break-up speech.
Jack: That is depressingly accurate.
Yes—totally depressing.
Jack: But regardless of the Vanessa mistake, I’m surprisingly serious about wanting to find someone.
Hallie realized as she read his text that her opinion on Jack had already changed. She still thought he was moving a little quickly, but the way he’d explained the situation with his ex made her think that perhaps he just knew himself well enough to know what he was looking for now.
She texted: For more than just a jostling?
Jack: For jostling ’n’ forever. I want to find the person who makes me complete.
Hallie: People really don’t use the country ’n’ enough anymore.
Jack: We should give it a renaissance.
Hallie: We really should. Hallie ’n’ Jack should bring it back.
Jack: What about your soul mate goals? If a Looking4TheReal genie appeared and granted your dating wish, what exactly would you want to find?
Hallie: Someone who likes me more than everyone else in the world.
Jack: Likes? Isn’t that bar a little low?
Hallie: Well, of course love, but I want to spend forever with my favorite human. The person who cracks me up and gets me and likes the way I think. Romance is nice, but I want to be with the one person where if something happens to me—funny, awful, wonderful—I’m dying to tell them.
Jack: It sounds like you want to marry your best friend.
Hallie: I literally do.
Jack: Good luck. That’s a tall order.
Hallie: No taller than your “you complete me” dream lady.
Jack: Somehow, mine seems more possible.
Hallie: Agree to disagree.
Jack: Care to make a wager?
Hallie set down the now-empty bowl of popcorn and reached for the throw on the couch’s arm. On what?
Jack: Who finds it first.
Hallie: Doesn’t that seem rather cavalier, to make a wager on something we’ve both agreed is important to us?
Jack: I don’t think so, because it’s not like a bet is going to make me behave differently to win. I still want the same thing. I just win a prize if I find it first.
Hallie: Ooh—I DO like prizes.
Jack: Right? I already hate this app and blind dates and I really don’t feel like continuing. But if there’s a fun incentive, and I’m in it with someone else, it might not feel like an endless, depressing chore.
Well, Hallie absolutely understood that. She was already tired of dating, and she’d only been on one date so far. Hallie: It has to be something really good, then.
Jack: Duh.
Hallie started thinking about what she wanted that he might be able to provide for her. Well, what services can you offer?
Jack: (Ahem—elevator) What exactly do you mean?
Hallie rolled her eyes but laughed. He had a way of teasing her about the hotel night that was funny but didn’t feel like he was trying to get her back into bed.
Hallie: Example: I’m a tax accountant. I can do your taxes if I lose. And my sister is engaged to a guy who owns a Toyota dealership, so if you’re looking for a new Corolla, I can get you the friends and family price. What can you do for me?
Jack: Please shoot me in the face if I’m ever looking for a Corolla, and taxes are for suckers. Regarding what I can provide, I’m a landscape architect, so I can design a backyard oasis that will make you never want to leave the house.
Hallie: Sounds wonderful, but I live in an apartment.
Jack: I have a Parisian honeymoon that I’ve already paid for.
Hallie could see by the bubbles that he was still typing, but she didn’t care.
Hallie: That’s it. I want it. I get Paris if I win.
Man, she hadn’t been on a vacation since she lived at home and her family went on a trip to Milwaukee. Nothing in the world sounded better to her than traveling abroad.
Jack: Okay, um, I wasn’t done (did you not see the text bubbles, Piper?). I was saying that I have a Parisian honeymoon that I bought for Vanessa, but now that I’m not going, I will give you my airline points.
Hallie: After thinking the win would get me a trip to Paris, airline points sounds like winning a coupon. Keep thinking.
Jack: I have a LOT of points. More than enough for you to fly wherever you want for free.
Hallie: Still feels like a loss, but I will take it. Them. I will take your points.
Jack: So what can you give me? We don’t have a deal until you give me something good.
Hallie started thinking, racking her brain for something she had that might be valuable to him. She looked around her crappy living room—maybe he wanted an Ansel Adams coffee table book?—and just saw crap.
Hallie: Do you like baseball?
Jack: Yes.
Hallie: When my ex and I broke up (he was very awful so don’t judge me) I took an autographed baseball of his just to make him sad.
Jack: You fiend. I don’t really get into signed memorabilia, but who signed it?
Hallie: The Cubs.
Jack: As in, Chicago? And which Cubs players?
Hallie: All of them that were on the World Series team.
Jack: Hold please. I need a minute.
Hallie took her bowl and can into the kitchen, set them in the sink, and went into her room. For some reason, she always felt more alone when she was sitting in the living room at night than when she was in the bedroom.
Hallie: WTF are you doing?
Jack: Trying to remember to breathe. Are you telling me that you have an MLB baseball that is signed by the entire 2016 World Series team?
Hallie: Yup.
Jack: I went to Game 7 with my brother, my dad, and my uncle Mack. It was amazing.
Hallie: So the ball works to incentivize your love?
Jack: Absolutely it does. Holy shit, my father will cry like a baby and deem me the favorite child if I give that to him for Christmas.
Hallie: So you have daddy issues. Got it.
Jack: Very funny. This wager is brilliant. I literally will not give up and will date my ass off, just because I need that ball before Christmas.
Hallie: It’s September, dumbass. You really think you’ll find love by then?
Jack: I will die trying. Doesn’t the free airfare put you in the same frame of mind?
Hallie: I mean, I guess. I AM dying for a vacation, but since I’ll still have to pay for lodging and daily spending, it feels like something that I’ll put off forever.
Jack: This is only fun if you’re trying, Hal.
Hallie: I will try, I promise.
Jack: What if I throw in 5 nights at the hotel of your choice?
Hallie: Ooh, I think you’ve got a deal.
Jack: I’m only agreeing because I know I won’t lose, btw.
Hallie pulled back her comforter and climbed into bed. Sure you won’t.
Jack: Hey—here’s my number so we can text instead of going through the app.
Hallie snorted as she added him to her contacts. You’re so obsessed with me it’s disgusting. Here’s my number.
Jack: Pretty quick with those digits, Piper.
Hallie: Pretty lame with those comebacks, Marshall.
Hallie’s phone started ringing, which startled her for a quick second before it made her laugh.
“Why are you calling me?” she asked.
“I had to test the number and make sure it wasn’t a fake,” he said, and her brain immediately recalled that deep voice from the wedding night.
“So now you know.”
“I do.” Hallie heard him clear his throat, like he was about to launch into a business presentation, and he said, “So, Hal. Listen. My sister told me about this speed dating event tomorrow night for young professionals. I wasn’t going to go, but the whole setup kind of makes sense for our situation, and since we’re both on the hunt . . .”
“Are you kidding me right now?” She’d never done speed dating, but she was fairly certain she would fail spectacularly at it. “I didn’t think speed dating was a thing anymore.”
“I have a flyer,” he said.
“That sounds culty,” she replied.
“Just come, you chickenshit.”
Hallie shook her head and said, “Text me a pic of the flyer and where we should meet. I’ll go, but only because I have a roommate issue I don’t want to deal with.”
“What’s her deal? Does she party all night? Eat all your food? Get too loud when she’s entertaining visitors?”
“No,” Hallie said. “I’m moving into my own place, and I’m scared to tell her because I don’t want her to feel sad.”
“Oh, my God, Hallie, are you a tender little sweetheart of a girl? I did not get that vibe from you. Although, to be fair, you bit my shoulder so hard it left a bruise, so it might’ve left a bad—and literal—impression on me.”
Her mouth dropped open. Hallie was torn between wanting to tell him to shut up and wanting him to confirm whether she’d actually left a mark, so she just said, “I’m hanging up now. Send the info if you want me to go.”
He let out a quiet, deep laugh and said, “Coming your way, TB.”
