We got closer and closer to the hospital and my contractions were minutes apart. ‘OH, GOD!’ I yelled out gripping Lorenzo’s arm. ‘OH, GOD!’ He yelled out bending down towards his arm. We finally approached the hospital, and they rushed me inside. Nurses and doctors surrounded me, I was out of breath feeling like I was going to faint. ‘DRUGS! GIVE ME DRUGS! IT HURTS SO MUCH’ I yelled out in pain.
I couldn’t help the guilt that sunk in my stomach, I wished Vincenzo was here, I wish he could have been here to witness everything. To hold my hand to watch the birth of the baby, to comfort me. I want to see him hold the baby in his hands. I knew I just wanted him here I wanted him close to me, I wanted him to hold me and to reassure me in his comforting voice that everything is going to be okay and that this baby is going to be so happy.
I need him to reassure me I can do this, that I can be a good mum.
I yelled feeling another contraction gripping Lorenzo’s arm tighter my nails digging into his skin. ‘OW OW OW OW. THIS BABY IS SUPPOSED TO HURT YOU NOT ME!’ Lorenzo yelled out. I death stared at him and shut my eyes. They rushed the men out of the room and tendered to me ‘You need to stay awake for us angel, come on your 10cm dilated you need to start pushing.’ she told me, ‘IT HURTS’ I cried out. ‘It’s too late to give you anything to help with the pain the baby’s coming out’
I screamed out in pain feeling my bones separate to make room for the baby, I gripped the railings and pushed when they said push. Grunting and screaming sweat was pouring down from my forehead and it felt like a blood vessel was going to erupt. I started breathing heavily everything was becoming blurry.
‘One more push come on beautiful’ The nurse called out. I shut my eyes and pushed screaming out in pain. They grabbed the baby and wrapped it in a towel and placed it on my chest. I cried and held its little head to my chest. They took it away to weigh and clean it up. I looked around the room and felt everything go black. My eyes shut as I felt my body give out.
(DREAM)
I looked around my surroundings freaking out ‘where am I? Where’s my baby!’ I yelled. ‘Hermana’ I heard a familiar voice call out, I looked and cried seeing my sister in front of me. ‘Maria?’ I called out, I ran towards her and hugged her. Holding her tight I embraced her close to me. ‘I missed you so much’ she whispered in my hair. ‘How? What’s happening?’ I asked her confused. ‘I told you I didn’t want to see you here for a very long time’ she yelled at me. I looked at her and shook my head ‘No, no. My baby’ I started panicking.
She laughed shaking her head ‘Isabella, you’re not dead … not yet. Look’ She pointed down and that’s when I saw my body lying on the hospital bed doctors around me trying to wake me up. ‘I’m not dead?’ I asked her. she shook her head ‘consider this a once in a lifetime visit’ she jokes. I shook my head and pulled her in for another hug. ‘I’ve been watching you; I’ve been watching all of you’ she smiled looking at me.
‘I wish you could have been there; I wish you were down there with me. I’m so sorry Maria. I should’ve protected you and it should be me here and you down there’ she slapped me on my arm and shook her head ‘stop apologising and stop all of this!’
‘I’m happy, I’m peaceful It’s like a dream up here watching all of you is like a dream. A dream I wish to never wake up to, everything here is calm and peaceful nothing goes wrong, nothing bad ever happens all I feel is peace’ she smiles trying to reassure me. ‘Okay’ I whispered. ‘I wish you could hold the baby’ I laughed out a little ‘God knows you would look more natural doing it than me’ I laughed
she giggled and shook her head ‘you are going to be such an amazing mum I can’t wait to see you do everything. I’ll be right there cheering you on and helping you along the way. it’s me and you forever Hermana’ she winked. I chocked back a few tears ‘me and you forever Hermana’ I whispered back to her.
‘Yes, I’m mad you didn’t find the gender straight away’ she slapped my arm, I looked at her my mouth parted and my eyes watering as I smiled. ‘You heard me?’ I asked her. She nodded her head ‘I heard you, Lorenzo I heard all of you … even Vincenzo’ she stated. I looked at her confused ‘Vincenzo?’ she nodded her head slowly ‘he visits me a lot more than you would think, he talks about you all the time. He also apologised a million times; I wish I could come back down and tell him it’s all okay. I wish I could tell Lorenzo the same thing.’ She went on.
I looked at her ‘I don’t want to leave you here alone’ I whispered holding onto her so tight, ‘I don’t want to wake up. What’s going to happen if I go, I’ll never see you again. I don’t want you to be alone.’ I cried softly she shook her head tears forming in her eyes as she smiled looking at me ‘Isabella I’m not alone look’ she nodded her head, and a familiar face approached me.
‘Dragon’ he mocked me. I jumped in his arms and hugged him tightly ‘Dante’ I whispered he laughed hugging me close to him. ‘You’re taking care of her?’ I asked him he laughed nodding his head ‘Thankfully she isn’t a handful like you were.’ He joked I rolled my eyes and smiled at the two of them. ‘I missed you both so much, Dante I’m so sorry for everything I-‘ he cut me off quickly shaking his head ‘Don’t you dare apologise. I insisted to stay with you, and I gave you no choice. Isabella, I don’t regret that day for anything I got to meet you if I could do that day all over again believe me I would, and I wouldn’t change a thing’ He reassured me hugging me close to him.
I sighed and hugged him back crying on his shoulder ‘thank you for taking care of my brothers. Especially Vincenzo’ he whispered. I pushed him back and looked at him ‘I-‘ he cut me off again. ‘Before you say anything, I literally see everything’ he laughed motioning around us. I nodded my head agreeing with him ‘I see the way he looked at you when he first meets you and how much he loves you. I can see his heart and its main purpose for beating is for you. He loves you Isabella he has a shit way of showing it but it’s there. He is going to do a lot of stupid things, but his intentions are pure.’
I nodded my head taking in what he was saying ‘You love him to Hermana’ Maria joined in. ‘You just are too afraid to show it in case you get rejected. Even though deep down you know he loves you too’ I shook my head ‘Stop trying to convince me something that is no longer there. It’s making me more conflicted than I already am. You know since you guys literally see everything from up here. Look the old him maybe did, but not the person he is now. He kept reminding me that I was no more than a stranger to him’ I explained.
‘Isabella, he could have killed you. He could have thrown you out without so much of a hello. But instead, he housed you, provided money while he lied to his mafia and the families. He went to war with Xavier for you and even after losing his memory he still wanted him dead when he found out all the terrible things, he did to you. Deep down he knows you, he just needs a reason to unlock that memory. Isabella gives him a reason’ Dante whispers.
‘I can’t’ I whisper back. They stare at me and smile nodding their heads ‘you can, and you will, you’ll know when the time is right our voice will pop in your head don’t worry’ Maria giggled. ‘Take care of our niece or nephew’ they both warned me. I rolled my eyes laughing ‘trust me it’s safer with this dragon than a real one’ I smiled.
They both wrapped their arms around me and hugged me tightly. ‘Take care of each other please, I love you both so much’ I whispered.
They squeezed me one last time and whispered softly. ‘It’s time to wake up Isabella’
