My first time.
Jesus Christ.
I still can’t get it out of my mind that I’m no longer a virgin.
And that I let Luca take it all.
But I don’t regret giving it to him.
In fact, the first time he plunged in was the most amazing feeling in the whole damn world.
If I’d known sex was like that, I would’ve done it a long time ago.
When both our heartbeats slow down and our breathing syncs, Luca presses another deep, sultry kiss to my lips that makes my head spin. Every time he kisses me, it feels like my soul leaves my body, and my heart almost jumps out of my chest.
Is this what love should feel like?
Have I really fallen for the one man I should’ve avoided?
The one man I should have hated for all eternity?
Hate.
It once sounded so easy, so visceral. But now, when I look into his dark, penetrative eyes that glimmer with hope, it seems like a distant memory.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel. If it’s okay to have these feelings for a man who only hurts, betrays, kills. If it’s okay to indulge in sin with this oh-so sinful man.
God, I don’t remember things being this complicated.
Luca leans up and undoes the shackles around my wrists and the chain around my neck, then leans back to free my ankles too. But I don’t punch or kick or do anything to fight as he pounces back down on me and places the sweetest of kisses on the top of my lip.
“Mine.”
The soft whisper is enough to coat my body in goose bumps.
But I hiss when the pain comes flooding back in. I almost forgot that he actually marked me.
I lean up and look at my wound, which glows red with caked blood. But the lines are very clear … and they’ll definitely form a scar.
“I told you what I would do for you,” Luca says, grasping my collar to bring my face closer to his. “Now you know why I tried to push you away. It’s impossible for me to behave and not be a savage.”
My eyes can’t help travel down his ripped abs all the way to that V-line, where his thick, long flaccid dick dangles between his legs. That thing was inside me … and I loved every fucking second of it even though it was depraved as hell.
I suck on my bottom lip. “Don’t behave. I … I like you this way.”
I don’t know why. It just slipped out of me, and even I am surprised I said that out loud.
Is this who I really am, too?
Is this what I like?
What I could never say I wanted out loud?
He lies down beside me, hand on the pillow, knuckles folded, and gazes at me with half-mast eyes filled with satisfaction, and something about that makes my heart sigh. His hand rises, his cold rings grazing my face, making it so damn hard to breathe.
“Does it hurt?” he asks.
It takes me a few seconds to respond because I was too busy looking at him to even notice the pain. But when I do, all it does is remind me of where his hands have been, how he fucked me as he drew those letters into my skin, and it still makes my pussy throb.
What is wrong with me?
I shake my head. “It just stings a little.”
Suddenly, he gets off the bed and scoops me up in his arms, surprising me so much that I let out a squeal. “Where are we going?”
“I’m going to clean you up.”
He puts me down on the same chair he sat on the first time I licked him, and it brings back memories that make me blush hard. Luckily, he doesn’t see as he turns around to grab a box of medical supplies from his cabinet. The same cabinet where he keeps all his toys.
“You sure have a lot of convenient stuff in there,” I say, trying to lighten the mood, which is hard when you’re both naked.
“I’m prepared.”
That backfired.
Hard.
Because I’m blushing more than ever when he kneels, actually fucking kneels, in front of my naked body and parts my legs to have access. He dips a cotton swab into the bottle of alcohol and holds it in front of the wound.
“This might sting a little more,” he murmurs, but it doesn’t hurt nearly as much as I thought it would when he dabs it against my skin. “But it’s my turn to take care of you now.”
He cleans each letter meticulously, as though it’s a precious painting he wants to restore. I never knew he could be so gentle. And when he briefly glances up into my eyes with that devious smirk on his face, all it does is make me blush harder and harder.
Fuck. I really have fallen, haven’t I?
“You’re blushing,” he says.
“What?” I turn my head. “No, I’m not.”
“Yeah, you were.” He grabs my collar and turns it so I’m forced to look at him. “And you look beautiful when you do.”
Fuck me. It used to be easy to put all the things he said away in my mind when I still believed he hated me. But now … now it’s like he can reach straight into my chest and make my heart beat for me.
“I don’t understand why you suddenly care,” I murmur.
He lowers his gaze, looking at me in a demanding way. “I’ve always cared.”
The brush of the swab doesn’t even faze me anymore. All I can focus on are how gorgeous those dark eyes of his are and just how wrong I was all these years about my own feelings for him.
Maybe I didn’t hate him for stealing all the things I never wanted to give … But only hated him for making me feel things I didn’t want to feel for him.
I swallow down the lump in my throat when he leans up on my knees and arches his back to meet my gaze from down below, huddling between my legs, lips perked, my head lowering to get closer to his. And the kiss that follows is nothing short of sweet bliss.
A low, resonating groan emanating from deep within his chest makes my clit throb again. And when he smiles against my lips, I know for sure. The devil stole my heart and made it his.
Luca
I wake up to the sound of my phone buzzing.
My hands are still firmly curled around Jill’s waist, her body easing into mine as she sleeps tight. I don’t want this moment to end, but the phone keeps buzzing, and it’s my job to pick up.
Groaning, I turn to grab it.
“He’s on the move.”
I sit up straight in bed. It’s my private detective.
“Where?”
“Inside the city.”
“What?! And you didn’t tell me?” I say through gritted teeth as I get up and grab some pants to put on.
“I called as soon as possible, once my men detected him, but you weren’t picking up.”
“It’s the middle of the fucking night,” I growl back.
I hastily put on my things with one hand, keeping an eye on Jill so she doesn’t wake up. She’s not going to like it, but now that it’s happening, I have no choice but to leave.
“What are you going to do?” he asks.
“I’ll figure it out,” I reply, and I shut off the phone.
Of course he wouldn’t ever involve himself. He knows better than to barge in to mafia business.
And it leaves me no choice but to handle this myself.
Fuck.
I’m going to have to resort to plan B.
Shit’s about to go down, and someone’s gonna get hurt.
Jill
Hours later, I wake up in shock and sit up straight.
I didn’t even realize I’d fallen asleep.
One second, Luca carries me to his bed and curls his arm around me to hold me tight, making me feel like I’m on cloud nine, and the next, I’m dreaming of him killing every damn fucker who ever tried to hurt me. For just a moment, I could forget about who we are and believe in the story of us.
I blink a couple of times to gather my bearings. It’s the middle of the night, and the rain is still pitter-pattering against the window. But the bed beside me is empty. Cold. As though Luca has been gone for quite a while.
Where did he go?
I get out of bed, only to realize I’m still very much naked.
Clutching the blanket, I quickly grab some clothes from the closet that fit me. An oversized hoodie and a pair of sweatpants that Lita probably bought in my size at Luca’s request.
I open the door and peer out. Everything is still pitch black.
“Luca?” I call out.
There’s no response. Not a single sound.
I walk out and check the living room and the kitchen, as well as the bathroom, but there’s really no one here except me.
What is going on? Why did he leave so suddenly in the middle of the night?
When I turn my head, there’s that door again, luring me in.
His office.
The one place I haven’t fully explored yet.
I swallow and go back into my room to grab another pin. Even though I’m not supposed to, there’s no one here to reprimand me, so I shove the bobby pin into the lock and wriggle it around just like before.
It doesn’t take me long to open it.
I know Luca doesn’t want me to snoop, but I can’t stop myself from opening the door and stepping inside. If he’s gone, this is my only shot at finding out if he is being truthful to me … or if he’s still a liar through and through.
My body is a bundle of nerves as I sneak inside and quietly peek around to make sure the place is really abandoned. I even make a stop at the bunny’s room, giving it a few pets as it chews on its freshly cut carrot. Someone’s been in here recently, but it’s deserted now.
No time to waste.
I immediately march to his desk and open every drawer I can find. I brush past a bunch of papers, old records, photographs of people, business, clients, drugs, all of it is there. But on the bottom, a particular photograph captures my attention.
As I pull it out, my hand begins to shake violently.
The photo drops to the floor.
A shriek catches in my throat and comes out shrill and empty, like the song of a dying swan.
On the cold, hard floor below me lies a picture with the face of a man I thought was long gone.
But his bushy-bearded chin, long, grown-out hair, and strong facial features have matured beyond death’s grasp.
A man whose eyes are filled with tears of betrayal, whose penetrative gaze could tear out my soul with a single deadpan at the camera.
Liam.
