I lunge at the edge, grasping her wrist just in time before she tumbles to her death. But my own legs are halfway across the ridge, and I’m almost falling off too.
“Luca! Jill!” Jasmine’s terrified voice echoes across the ledge.
I’m holding on by a thread, my fingers interlocked with hers as I desperately try to hold on. Even as the rock begins to give way.
No matter what, I won’t let go.
“Luca!” Jill screams in panic. “Please!”
“I’ve got you!” I yell back.
“What the fuck, Luca,” Liam grunts, clearly in pain, but I don’t give a shit about him right now.
Because if Jill dies, I have nothing worth living for anymore.
“Hold on,” I growl at her, giving it my all to pull her back, but the more I pull, the more the ledge caves in. The water has eroded its stability, and with us both hanging by a single point, the ground is crumbling underneath us from our sheer weight.
Liam crawls toward me, and I throw him a look. “Don’t you fucking get close!”
I turn my head to Jill, trying one last time to pull us both up. But the earth caves in beneath me, and I fall off, holding on with just my hand now.
“Luca!” Jill squeals.
It fucking hurts, and I can feel my wrist dislocating. I won’t last long.
I look down at the only girl I ever cared about and say, “You have to climb up.”
“No! I’m not risking your life too!”
“Do what I say!”
She shakes her head. “I’ll never make it. Please … Luca.” Tears form in her eyes, and I dread the words she’s about to speak. Because I know, better than anyone else, what she’s thinking right now.
“Let me go.”
The words strike harder than any knife or bullet ever could.
“No,” I bark back, grinding my teeth.
“Let me go, or you’ll die with me!” she yells, her shoulder-length, blond bob flaring in the strong wind. “Please! Save yourself! Don’t worry about me.”
“I will never give up,” I growl back, putting in all my strength to keep us suspended in time for a little while longer. “I can’t.”
“Why? Why can’t you just let go?” she begs.
I look her dead in the eyes, adrenaline coursing through my veins. “Because I fucking love you.”
Her pupils dilate, and the fire that once blazed behind those eyes is gone.
Just like all the hatred I once felt in my heart.
“Luca,” Liam groans, crawling closer.
“LIAM!” Jasmine’s picked up the gun behind me and points it at Liam with tears staining her eyes. “Whatever you’re thinking—don’t!”
But all I can focus on is Jill. Her fingers begin to loosen, slowly but surely, and I cannot fucking hold on no matter how hard I try.
“Luca,” she says, a soft smile forming on her face. It’s a smile of death. “I’m sorry.”
Her fingers release mine.
I grasp.
My fingers hook underneath her collar, and I hold on for life.
Snap.
There she goes, falling, the collar still lodged firmly in my hand.
Without a second thought, I jump right after her, throwing the collar away so I can catch her instead.
Her peaceful face changes to complete shock when I grab her midair and hold her tightly against my body, wrapping my arms around her in a cocoon, protecting her with all I have left to give.
My life to save hers.
Jasmine peers over the edge and shrieks, “JILL!”
But it’s too late.
We’re already on our way down faster than the wind can take us. And right before we hit the water, I look up at the horrified look on Liam’s face.
“LUCA, NO!” he yells, his hand reaching down to me.
Too fucking late.
Jill
When my body hits the water, everything suddenly goes silent. The air stops moving in my lungs, but I’m strangely okay with it. Seconds feel like minutes, maybe hours. There is nothing but darkness, and it’s almost serene, as quiet as I imagine the afterlife to be.
Am I dead?
Or merely floating in empty space?
The cold engulfs my body, and I curl up into the arms holding me tight.
But when they flinch, my eyes instantly burst open.
Luca.
He’s floating right beside me in the vast emptiness of the water, his emotionless face frozen in time. The memory of us falling and him grabbing me springs to the forefront of my mind.
I released his hand.
On purpose.
Because I knew he’d never be able to lift me before the cliff gave way.
And then he decided to jump in after me.
History is about to repeat itself.
No, I won’t let it happen.
In a moment of clarity, I grab his arms and lift him up while swimming as hard as I can toward the surface. His body isn’t easy to carry against the harsh flow of the tides, but a surge of adrenaline helps me to push through until I finally crack the surface tension of the water and suck in a fresh breath of air.
It feels like revival, a rebirth after death.
And I drag Luca up to the surface and lift his head.
But there is no sound.
No breath.
No nothing.
“Luca!” I yell, slapping him to try to wake him, but there’s no response.
I hold him as best as I can while swimming to the shoreline, wet clothes sticking to my body, dragging me down. But I refuse to give up as I push my muscles to the limit, coughing up sloshes of water I’ve accidentally swallowed.
Fuck.
When my feet land on the gravelly sand, I force myself to lift Luca above the water and drag him all the way to the muddy ground where I lay him down.
“Luca, wake up!” I yell, tears filling my eyes.
I push open his eyelids, but there is nothing behind them. No fire. No soul.
Nothing but raindrops pitter-pattering down on his cold, blank face.
The sight tears open a wound in my heart.
I press my ear to his chest.
Nothing.
Not a single thump.
The lack of sound is like a void, sucking me in.
I plant my hands on his chest, crossed, one over the other, and start applying chest compressions.
“C’mon, Luca!” I yell, pausing only to tilt his chin, pinch his nose, and breathe into his mouth.
His chest rises and falls.
Then nothing.
I apply more compressions, shoving my hands into his chest until sweat beads down my forehead.
“JILL!”
My sister’s voice in the distance doesn’t even manage to tear my attention away from Luca’s lifeless body.
“Jill, oh my God, you’re alive. I thought you’d drowned,” she yells, crying while rushing over to us. The second she spots Luca, she stops in her tracks, though. “Is Luca—?”
“No,” I reply, unable to cope with the mere idea, let alone it being a fact.
“Oh, my God,” Jasmine says, her voice choking in her throat.
I keep applying compressions to Luca’s chest even though I know every second is another one lost.
“Keep Liam away from here,” I tell her.
“Liam’s gone,” she says.
My ears perk up like a dog’s. “What?”
“After you two fell, he ran.”
I frown, confused, but there’s no time to think about any of it.
Luca’s still here, and I’m fighting for his life, and goddammit, if I give up now, I will never forgive myself.
“I’ll call Dad’s clinic,” Jasmine says, fishing her phone from her pocket.
The clinic, the only place that takes in us mobster folks without asking questions.
Smart move if we want Luca to survive and not end up in jail.
I know it’s tough for her because he held a knife to her throat. But this story is far more complicated than could ever be explained in a single sentence, and she knows.
Nothing is more important right now than making sure he lives. “Luca, goddammit, I need you to stay!” I growl.
My sister walks off to the cars, probably to talk with the paramedics and give me some privacy. The thought makes bile rise in my throat. Because you only give privacy to people who need to grieve.
“You didn’t give up on me, and I won’t give up on you,” I tell Luca through gritted teeth.
After a while, I pinch his nose again and blow more air into his mouth.
“Don’t leave me! Please!” I beg, my voice sounding more like a clamped cry for help as tears roll down my cheeks and fall onto his lips. “I love you.”
I press a soft kiss to his lips, wishing I could’ve told him sooner. If he’d only told me where he was going and what he was going to do, I could’ve helped him and Liam.
But that’s exactly why he didn’t tell me.
“Get the fuck away from her!”
His voice as he yelled at his brother reverberates over and over in my head.
He was willing to lie to me and attack his own brother, make me feel like he’d betrayed me, just to save me from Liam’s wrath.
Just to save me from the mere idea that Liam hated me.
This is the extent of his love.
All this time, he was trying to protect me.
Suddenly, water explodes from Luca’s mouth, and he coughs and heaves so loudly that it makes me fall back on my ass in the wet sand.
I stare at him for a few seconds as he sucks in the air until I finally realize that what I’m hearing is his gasping breaths.
“Luca!” I immediately crawl to him on hands and knees and tilt his head to the side to allow more water to flow out as he coughs and heaves.
When it’s all out, I help him up by lifting his head onto my lap. And even though he’s in terrible shape and we’re not out of the woods yet, I still can’t help but smile. Because he’s here—breathing—and when I grasp his wrist, I definitely feel a pulse.
“Luca …” I mutter, swiping his hair off his lips and eyes. “You’re alive.”
His eyes flutter open slowly as his hand drunkenly moves to my face for the softest of caresses that melt the last remaining icicle stuck to my heart. “Thanks to you.”
Now I really can’t contain the tears.
“Don’t cry, bunny,” he murmurs, mud caking his skin. “I’m here.” My hand falls into his as he continues to pet my cheek with the other like he’s in awe. “You saved me.”
“No, you saved me,” I say, looking down at his half-lopped smile. “You almost died.”
“I would have … for you,” he replies, his voice hoarse from all the water.
“No, don’t you dare say that,” I say as he scoots up my lap farther so he can look me in the eyes. “I couldn’t live with that. I couldn’t live with another death on my ha—”
He plants a finger on my lips, silencing me. “Bunny. I’m alive. Liam is alive. You didn’t kill anyone.”
His words drop a burden off my shoulders that I couldn’t even feel anymore after so many years.
But my God.
It’s like I can finally breathe again for the first time in a long time.
But I still feel guilty for all the things I said and did up there on that cliff. And I feel even guiltier for trusting Liam, for thrusting a knife into the only person who ever tried to fight for me.
“I should’ve trusted you,” I say. “And I’m sorry for stabbing you.”
He laughs, but it comes out as a chortle, and rapid coughs follow. “I deserved that.”
“I thought you were going to hurt him,” I say, averting my eyes. “But it turns out he wanted to hurt me more.”
Luca softly tilts my chin. “He doesn’t know better, can’t see past his rage. Just like I didn’t know better. But I do now.”
Even though my clothes are soaked, and the cold rain is clattering down on top of us, my cheeks fill with heat and warmth.
“Why did you jump after me?” I ask. “I made my choice, knowing what it would cost.”
He leans up farther, cupping my face. “You wanted to save me more than you wanted to save yourself … But I’m not afraid of death. The only thing I’m afraid of is not having you. I can’t live without you.”
My lips part, but the words feel so distant now that he’s right here in front of me, alive, staring straight into my soul. No amount of words can ever describe what I feel inside my heart.
“Did you mean it?” he says, leaning in farther and farther until our lips are only inches away.
“Mean what?” I mutter.
“When you said you loved me.”
My face turns white as snow. “You heard?”
A wicked smile forms on his lips, one that still manages to make my heart flutter. “Of course, I heard. It’s the only thing that kept me going.” He grabs a strand of my hair and nudges it behind my ear, his finger lingering on my skin like he refuses to let go. “But you didn’t answer my question.”
I nod a few times. It’s the easiest admission ever, despite my reservations only hours ago.
“I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner,” I whisper, more tears rolling down onto his face, mixing with the rain.
His voice is rough on the edges, just like his soul. “Say it again.”
“I love you.”
Love.
The one word I couldn’t possibly fathom to hear from Luca’s mouth or mine mere weeks ago.
And now the mere idea makes my heart sing.
His smile is bittersweet as he picks up a tear with his thumb and swipes it away. “It was worth the wait, every single second.”
“But—”
“Your love is what I risked it all for,” he interrupts. “It’s all I needed. I’m not asking for anything else.”
All he needed.
All he ever wanted.
And it turns out, after all this time, I finally understand that it’s exactly what I desired, too.
Because when he grabs my face and presses his wet lips to mine, all the turmoil in my head ceases to exist.
There is only … us.
“I love you, Jill.”
