The Moral Dilemma: Chapter 32

WITH ONE LAST glance at Noelle, I exit the room, heading to the side kitchen area to look for some disinfectant and whatever else we might need for the birth. The numbness in my shoulder is wearing off, pain starting to set in. Noelle is right. I need to get the bullet out first.

My God, but just the thought of doing that fills me with dread. Yet,I must do it.

Taking a deep breath, I walk briskly towards the kitchen, doing my best to avoid running into anyone. The last thing I need is to meet one of Sergio’s men, or God forbid, Sergio himself. If I’d thought he’d already harmed me enough years ago, oh how wrong I was.

When I arrive in the kitchen, I’m happy to note no one is around. This is one of the kitchens that is seldom used, and then only when there is a celebration at the hacienda which requires more than the normal capacity.

Closing the door behind me, I hurry to the pantry where I’d hidden some things that I’d smuggled in the last few months—all in preparation for this moment. Yet I hadn’t realized that I would need some of these things for myself. Taking out some sanitary, I spread them over the kitchen counter, doing my best not to contaminate anything. I can’t afford to get an infection now, just as I can’t afford to mess up the plan.

A quick glance at the clock on the wall tells me I have an hour left until the pick-up time. And hopefully, Noelle can hang on until then too.

Since time is limited, I quickly get to work. Taking off my shirt, I undo my bandage and I hold up a small mirror to see the damage. I wince at the red, angry wound. There’s still blood pooling at its surface, and I know that the longer I wait, the worse it’s going to get.

Picking up a pair of tweezers, I douse them in disinfectant and clean them thoroughly.

I close my eyes for a moment, breathing in and out. The pain is unavoidable. I know that. But I’ve had so much pain my entire life and ironically, I’m about to tear up at the mere prospect of using the pair of tweezers to dig the bullet out of my shoulder.

“I can do this,” I whisper to myself.

But as I lift the tweezers to my shoulder, the door behind me opens. My eyes widen, just as the tweezers slip out of my hand, dropping to the ground.

Before I can scream or run, a hand covers my mouth, the other circling my waist and bringing me against his chest. A male chest.

Terror suffuses me.

I’m naked from the waist up, with a gaping wound in my shoulder. I’m at my most vulnerable and now at the mercy of a stranger.

“Don’t scream,” a voice speaks into my ear. It’s an oddly familiar one, and I frown as I try to recall where I’d heard it before.

“I’m not going to hurt you, I swear. If I take my hand off, promise not to scream? No one knows I’m here and I’d rather keep it that way.”

His words are even more confusing, but I slowly nod my assent.

He drops his hand from my mouth, but his arm is still around my waist. Instinctively, I draw back, turning to face him.

“You…” I whisper in awe.

He gives me a lopsided smile.

“I’m a little late, aren’t I?”

I blink, wondering if this is a dream—is it? How many times had I conjured him before me just like this? Yet every time, it had only been a mirage that shattered the moment reality intruded on the fantasy.

“What are you doing here?”

“I promised you I’d come,” he replies effortlessly.

God, he’s even more handsome than I remembered. His hair is shorter, his body leaner. But there’s no way I would never not recognize those dark eyes—the eyes that still haunt my dreams. For years, his face has been the only thing I could fall asleep to, his presence the most comforting thing I’ve ever known in my life.

And now, to see him here, in the flesh? How is this possible?

“Are you real?” I ask in disbelief. “Is it really you, Nikki?”

“I’m here. I’m just so fucking sorry it took me so long, Luce. But I promise you, there’s a good reason for it.”

I nod numbly. How can I care about anything when he’s here? In front of me. So close…

A smile pulls at my lips as I reach out with my non-injured arm to touch him, trailing one finger over the back of his hand. My eyes close and a shiver goes down my spine at the contact. Not even the pain in my shoulder could detract from the utter delight of the moment.

“You’re really here,” I mumble incoherently, touching him some more—just to make sure he’s real. Maybe on any other occasion, I wouldn’t have been as bold. But as it happens, I’ve lost too much in the last years to not grasp onto this chance.

He catches my hand in his, giving it a tight squeeze. He slowly brings it to his lips, laying a chaste kiss on the inside of my wrist that has me blush to the roots of my hair.

Yet what’s most striking is the look on his face. He’s staring at me intently, his eyes caressing my face. There’s a dangerous hunger radiating from him. One that I don’t remember seeing before—or, maybe I hadn’t noticed? His body tenses, his nostrils flaring as he continues to drink me in.

My eyes flutter in confusion.

“Nikki?” I ask tentatively.

He snaps out of his trance and he gives me a wide smile—as if he hadn’t been looking at me like a starved man. I’m about to return the smile with a timid one of my own when I note the dip of his gaze, his eyes zeroing in on my chest. That’s when I recall my state of undress. And it’s not just my naked body that I don’t want him seeing, but also the marks that cover most of my torso.

I quickly wrap my arms around my body to cover myself, but the movement is so brusque that I end up bending over in pain.

“Who the hell did this to you, Luce?” He’s next to me in two steps, his big hands splayed over my shoulder as he takes in my wound.

“Sergio.” I give him a tight smile.

His features darken, cold anger emanating from him.

“He needs to die for hurting you,” he grits out, and my heart speeds up in my chest at the fact that he’d so readily avenge me.

“Thank you for saying that,” I murmur. “But right now I need to get the bullet out. Will you…” I wet my lips, surprised at myself for putting my trust in him so readily. “Will you help me?”

“I’m here for you, Luce,” he punctuates each word. “I’ll help you with anything you want. But we need to get you to a doctor. It’s not safe to do this here.”

I shake my head.

“I can’t,” I say, and I tell him everything that happened and what my plan for today is. “So you see, I can’t leave. And in order to pull this off, I need to get the bullet out and sew the wound.”

He’s about to disagree with me, but I slowly lift my hand to his face, fitting my palm to his cheek. At the same time, we both inhale deeply, our eyes connecting. Something flickers in my chest, almost as if my entire being sparks alive at the merest contact with his flesh.

“Luce,” he rasps out.

“Please,” I plead.

He doesn’t speak for a moment, seemingly at war with himself. Eventually, he gives me a tight nod. Without a word, he bends down to pick up the tweezers, going to the sink to wash them before disinfecting them.

“Come here.” He motions me to him. I take a seat on a chair, while he positions himself in front of me. Placing a hand on my back, he eyes the wound with concern as he takes a deep breath, “This will hurt.”

“I know.”

“I wish I could take your pain onto myself, Luce,” he murmurs huskily.

“Do it,” I urge him.

He pushes the tweezers into my wound, doing his best to avoid hurting me more than necessary as he digs for the bullet. I close my eyes as I suffer in silence, not making even one sound. Somehow, I know that would distress him, his pain perhaps more profound than mine.

How I know this, I’m not sure. There’s only this certainty deep within, borne perhaps out of my own foolish romantic notions, but also out of the friendship we’d shared in the past—a bond so deep, I’ve been living as a shell of myself since he’s been gone.

To my surprise, he finds it fairly fast, pulling it out and dropping it onto the table.

At the same time, though, more blood gushes out of the wound, and he hurries to press gauze to it.

“Can you sew it, too?”

He nods. His lips are pressed into a thin line, his breathing growing labored—more so than mine, and I’m the one with a hole in my shoulder.

He disinfects some needle and thread, and with a precision I wouldn’t have expected of him, he sews the wound in just a few strokes. His features are tense as he focuses on his task. When he’s done, he presses more gauze, wiping the last bit from my wound and cleaning it up with some disinfectant before he adds a bandage on top of it.

“How are you feeling?”

“Good,” I wheeze. “It didn’t hurt that badly.” I attempt a smile.

He grunts.

“You did really good, Nikki. Thank you.”

He doesn’t answer as he takes the shirt I’d previously discarded, offering to help me put it on. I accept his help, and I try to ignore the way my nipples tighten, my skin covered in goosebumps. He tries to ignore it, too—I can tell. It’s almost as if he forces his gaze not to stray to that area, realizing that it’s making me uncomfortable.

After I’m dressed, silence descends between us.

“It’s the first time you’ve seen my marks,” I note softly.

“You’re beautiful, Luce,” he says, his voice trembling with sincerity. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Never doubt that.”

I blink in surprise.

“You… mean that?”

He smiles.

“You’re the only thing that’s been keeping me alive until now. The thought of seeing you again carried me through my darkest moments.”

“I—” I bite my lip as I study him. “I don’t know what to say, Nikki.”

“You don’t have to say anything now,” he murmurs, stepping closer and touching his forehead to mine. He inhales deeply, and I can feel his breath on my lips. “I’ll help you with your plan. But after, you’re coming with me,” he states.

“I am?” My voice wobbles, warmth spreading through my limbs.

“You are. Now that I’ve found you again I’m never letting you go. Never,” he emphasizes, his words sounding both like a promise and a threat. In fact, there’s a slight edge to his tone, but it’s not something I pick up easily on. In my euphoria, I can only see him, here, with me. In my naiveté, I don’t ask any questions, simply satisfied with what he decides.

“We should go now,” I stammer, still caught in his intense gaze.

“There are ten more minutes until we need to leave,” he notes glibly, barely sparing a glance at his watch.

“But—”

“I’ve missed you, Luce. Tell me you’ve missed me, too,” he says in a low, anguished voice.

“Of course I missed you. You were my best friend, Nikki.”

His features darken.

“Your best friend? Just your best friend?”

“I… Well…” I moisten my lips as I gaze up in his eyes. He’s so close… “Maybe a little more.”

“How much more,” he rasps, his deep voice sending a shiver down my back.

Suddenly, there’s no more physical pain. There’s only a light pulsation that starts from the center of my chest, traveling up and imbuing all my senses with an euphoria I’ve never experienced before—one that makes me even more lightheaded than blood loss.

“You must know I had a crush on you, Nikki,” I answer bashfully, my cheeks reddening.

“Just a crush?” He raises a brow.

“Maybe a little more.”

“How much more. Tell me, Luce. Spare me from this torment that I’ve been drowning in for the past two years. Tell me,” he murmurs, the cadence of his voice changed. It’s more suave, more… God, my face must be burning, and despite my injury, I don’t think I have a fever.

No, it’s him—only him. It’s his nearness when I’ve only dreamed about it before. It’s his voice that makes me melt with every syllable he utters. And it’s his intense gaze that has me pinned to the spot, so hungry and so desperate. It’s almost as if he is drowning and I’m the only one that can save him.

“I was in love with you,” I confess.

“Was?” he asks darkly.

“Am,” I whisper.

A slow smile pulls at his mouth, one that is as blinding as it is terrifying, and before I know it, his lips are on mine. His kiss is fierce and unrelenting, just like this side of Nikki I hadn’t known before. And though in the beginning I’m startled by this foreign sensation, I can’t help but give in.

He’s Nikki. He’s my Nikki. The only man I’d ever allow such liberties because he owns my body just as he owns my heart.

His lips part over mine, his tongue skimming the seam of my mouth. At first I’m confused about what he means to do, but as he brushes his tongue against mine, my entire body hums, a terrifying sensation enveloping me. One that threatens to overwhelm me with feeling.

Yet just as the kiss starts, it’s over. He tears himself from me, his breathing accelerated, his features contorted in pain.

“Nikki?” I ask softly, bringing my hand to my lips.

“I’m sorry.”

“I—What happened? Was it…bad?” I barely utter the last word as hopelessness forms inside of me.

“Bad? What? No. It was too good, Luce. But I’ve been living for the past two years on your memory alone and that kiss… If we don’t stop, we might never stop, and it’s not the time for that. Not only do we have something to do, but…” he scrubs his face with his hand. “You’re you, and that means you deserve more than just a quick tumble in the hay. You’re also hurt.” He shakes his head. “God, I’m a fucking idiot,” he curses out.

I watch him in confusion, not understanding half of what he’s saying.

“So you didn’t dislike it?” I ask, needing direct confirmation.

“I loved it. Like I love you,” he says, his piercing gaze meeting mine just as his hand comes up to caress my cheek. “Was it your first kiss?” he inquires before I can recover from his confession. His voice is tense, almost as if he’s already hating my answer.

I give him a slow nod.

He lets out a relieved breath.

“Good. Good,” he repeats, more to himself. “You saved those lips for me, didn’t you, Luce?”

I’m so embarrassed, I try to avert my eyes, but he won’t let me, tipping my chin up so all I see is him.

“Tell me you saved your lips for me,” he rasps, his hungry eyes on my mouth.

“Yes,” I whisper.

He smirks.

“You’re telling me everything I need to hear, Luce.” Leaning further in, his mouth stops next to my ear. “Me too.”

I don’t get to question him on what he means as he points to the time.

“We need to leave,” he says, taking my hand in his. “Lead the way, Luce.”

I give him a smile, once more marveling at the fact that he’s really here, with me. It was something I would have never dared hope for, yet something I wished for ardently.

Nikki makes the entire situation easier by telling me he brought a car.

“How did Sergio allow you here?” I ask in confusion as we take the short drive to the closest village.

“He doesn’t know who I am—yet. He thinks I’m here for a business meeting, but that isn’t until later. His staff provided me with a room at the house and more or less left me to my own devices after they told me he was busy.”

“I’ve never known him to be this careless.”

“It’s not that he was careless, it’s that the cover story I made up is too good not to believe. I wouldn’t risk your safety for anything, Luce.” He gives me a wide grin, and in that moment he looks young and boyish, almost like he did two years ago.

“What happened to you, Nikki? What happened after you left?” I make the courage to ask. His features darken instantly, and he averts his gaze.

“I would have come earlier for you. Believe me that I wouldn’t have taken so long if it hadn’t been out of my hands.”

“What do you mean?” I whisper, almost afraid to know.

“I made it home alright.” A dry smile pulls at his lips. “But within a day I was in an accident that might not have been much of an accident.”

“Nikki.” I turn to him, my eyes widening with worry.

“I was in a coma until a couple of months ago,” he admits.

“What? Are you okay now? My God, Nikki…”

My heart is hammering in my chest at the thought of him in the hospital, fighting between life and death. Even before, when I’d never thought I would see him again, at least I was fine thinking he was happily living his life somewhere in the world.

But to hear that it hadn’t been the case? That he…

“There was something wrong with my head, but I’m fine now.” He keeps one hand on the wheel, grabbing my hand with the other. “I’m not entirely sure what happened while I was in the coma, but you were there, with me.”

“I was?” I blink.

He nods wistfully.

“I don’t remember everything, but I know you were with me everyday. We were by a waterfall, and I would lay my head on your lap, while you’d tell me stories.”

“That’s… I don’t know what to say, Nikki. I’m flattered,” I murmur, a blush staining my cheeks. “I didn’t realize you thought about me that way back then.”

“You’ve been everything to me from the first moment I met you in those goddamn tunnels, Luce. I survived only because you were with me, and later, because I knew I needed to keep my promise to you.”

I stare at him, mouth agape.

“I thought about you, too,” I confess shyly. “Every day, I would wonder what you were doing. If you were happy. If you… were with someone,” I whisper as I avert my gaze.

How many times had I hurt myself over the thought of him with someone else? With a girlfriend, or maybe a wife. I’d never regretted helping him escape and leaving me behind. But just imagining him with another woman had chipped at my heart time and time again.

“There’s only ever been you, Luce,” he states emphatically.

His eyes hold mine for a moment before he returns his attention to the road. But it’s enough to convey everything with that one glance.

He loves me.

He really loves me.

I’m still in a state of disbelief over the events of the last few hours, but this piece of information is not only the most precious one, but the most unexpected, too.

“I’ll come with you, Nikki. After everything is done. After Noelle is back with her family, too. I’ll come with you,” I tell him.

“You’ll never want for anything in this life. That I can promise you, Luce.” He smiles as he brings my hand to his lips for a kiss. “I’ll cherish you always.”

“I know you will.” I return his smile.

This might be too sudden, and while my mind is still struggling to come to terms with this, my heart knows this is right—he is right for me. He’s been right for me from the very beginning.

It takes us a couple more minutes to get to the village, and I show Nikki where to stop. We both get out of the car and head towards the house on the right.

“Let me do the talking,” I warn just before I knock.

An elderly woman answers the door, her eyes narrowed at me.

“You’re here for the baby,” she says.

I nod, digging into the pockets of my pants for the money I’d promised her. I press them into her palm, and after she carefully counts it, she goes back inside, telling me to wait.

“Are you sure about this, Luce?”

“Yes,” I sigh. “Sergio will find a way to hurt that baby. I am absolutely certain of it. And I can’t let him.”

“So you’re replacing it with another one,” he hums to himself. “Smart. But I always knew you were a smart woman,” he praises softly.

I lower my chin, a small smile pulling at my lips.

“I’ve never been called smart before,” I murmur.

His brows shoot up.

“What?” The word explodes from his mouth.

“It’s true.” I nod. “But I don’t think I’ve ever had to be smart either.” I shrug. “I was only supposed to do physical labor and keep my thoughts to myself.” Looking up at him, it’s to see disbelief written all over his face. “You were the first person to ever listen to me and think that my thoughts mattered.”

“Luce…” he swallows. “You’re breaking my heart, sweetheart.”

“It’s just the way things were.”

“You should be told how smart you are everyday. And beautiful. And so fucking brave. I don’t think I’ve met anyone as brave as you, Luce.”

“Thank you,” I whisper bashfully. How is it that he keeps making me blush?

“Don’t thank me for acknowledging a universal truth.”

The elderly woman returns with a little bundle, about to place him in my arms. Nikki swiftly intervenes, taking the baby from her, so I don’t strain my injured shoulder. The woman avoids looking at the baby as she simply goes back inside, closing the door.

“He’s not moving,” Nikki notes, his eyebrows drawn together in question.

“He’s dead,” I say, trying to keep a straight face. Just like the elderly lady, I don’t want to look at the baby—not knowing what’s going to happen to his little body once Sergio gets his hands on him.

“What do you mean he’s dead?”

“He was born prematurely and he had some lung problems. His mother knew he wouldn’t survive. This was her seventh pregnancy.” I take a deep breath. “When I heard about it, I offered her some money for the body, since it seemed like the best idea at the time.”

“Like I said. Smart,” he says, pride echoing in his voice.

“I’d like to ask you for a favor.” I stop right as we get to the car, turning to face him. “After Noelle gives birth, I’ll switch the babies. But in order for my plan to work, her baby needs to be as far away from the hacienda as possible.”

“I agree. I’ll take you to a hospital in Monterrey. The baby will likely need medical care. I’ll also make sure we get a wet nurse for him, and we can come back for your friend. How does that sound?”

“You’d do that for me?”

“Luce, what don’t you understand? I’d do anything for you,” he states as he comes a step closer. His breathing is erratic, his eyes becoming even darker under my very gaze. But it’s only for a moment before he’s back to normal, giving me a comforting smile as he opens the car door for me.

We’re back to the hacienda in no time, and Nikki helps me bring the baby inside Noelle’s room without drawing any unwanted attention. Luckily, it seems Noelle is still sleeping when I’m back. Nikki places the body of the baby on a pillow in the back—somewhere out of sight.

Since Noelle needs her rest, I tell Nikki to join me in the bathroom so we don’t bother her. I leave the door ajar in case she calls out, though. I don’t want her to wake up and panic that I’m not there.

“We can talk here. But quietly.”

“Of course.” He nods, walking further into the bathroom. I follow after him, surprised to see him pull a small case out of his pocket. As he opens it, it reveals pills nestled inside. He takes a bunch, popping them into his mouth.

“What are those?” I point at the pills. “You said you were fine,” I add, a hint of worry in my voice.

“It’s for something else.” He strains a smile.

I wait for him to explain, but he seems reluctant to do so.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me,” I assure him.

“It’s not that,” he sighs. “It’s just that… It’s something I had from before the accident.”

I frown. “What do you mean?”

“It’s not… physical. It’s psychological. The pills help me function more or less normally.”

“Nikki…” I take a tentative step towards him. “I would never judge you for anything. I hope you know that.”

He gives me a tight nod.

“You remember the panic attacks I used to get?”

“Yes.”

“After my accident, I was formally diagnosed for the first time,” he smiles ruefully. “PTSD, severe anxiety and agoraphobia, among others. The pills work to lessen the anxiety and agoraphobia—in as much as they helped me get out of my house and come here.”

“And you’re here…”

“I’m here.” He nods.

I can’t imagine the kind of strength it must have taken him to come, especially since I remember the panic attacks he would get—I used to help him deal with them in the tunnels.

“Is it because of your childhood?” I ask in a hesitant voice.

He strains a smile. “My childhood and my entire life.” He shrugs. “But I’m getting help, Luce. It’s not just the pills. I started seeing a proper therapist, and I’m taking everything seriously. I would never subject you to someone unstable—someone who can barely function by himself. I promise you that I’m getting better,” he hurries to say.

“Oh, Nikki. Don’t you dare go there! Don’t you dare think I’d ever see you as less because of that. How can you even think that?”

“Because I don’t want to save you from a prison only to lock you up in another,” he says on a ragged breath.

“You won’t.” I shake my head. “Just the fact that you’re here, with me, despite all your impediments, means the world to me. You mean the world to me, Nikki. You always have.”

“Sweetheart,” he rasps, coming closer to me. His hand curves over my jaw, his thumb caressing my lips. His hand moves lower down my throat, stopping atop my breasts, just under my clavicle. “Does your shoulder hurt?”

“A little,” I whisper. A little more. But I don’t want him to needlessly worry about me—not when there’s so much left to be done.

“Just a little?” He raises a brow at me. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you wince in the car.”

“Okay, maybe a little more. But I’m fine. I’ll be fine.”

“So brave,” he murmurs, and his hand trails lower, reaching the valley of my breasts. Instinctively, I grab his hand, stopping him.

“I—” I swallow hard, my eyes meeting his.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Luce.”

“I know that. It’s just…”

How do I explain to him that I’ve seen too much violence against women in my life? That I may trust him above everyone else, but that my body still trembles with fear in his presence for the mere fact that he’s a man?

I’ve been leered at and groped since I was only a child. Because of that, I’ve never felt truly comfortable in another person’s proximity. The only one who’s managed to break those barriers has been Noelle, but she’s different. She’s a woman, and she’s my best friend—my soul sister.

But this… I’m not sure how to react to this, since I’ve never been touched with such gentleness, such kindness by a man. Yet at the same time, I can also sense the desire beneath his civil mask, a type of lust that both scares and intrigues me.

“Did anyone hurt you?” His gaze darkens.

“Not like that. I was one of the lucky ones.” I force a smile. “But it’s never been for the lack of trying.”

A million emotions cross his face, from disbelief, to sadness, to pure anger.

“Who?” he demands in a harsh voice, then takes a step closer. “Who touched you, Luce?”

“They’re all dead,” I say. “Noelle made sure they’re all dead.”

“I am in your friend’s debt then,” he murmurs, bringing my hand to his lips, skimming them over my knuckles.

“Debt?” I frown.

“She saved you when I could not. For that she has my gratitude.”

“It’s fine, Nikki. Nothing happened. They just copped a feel here and there,” I try to explain, but my words seem to make him madder.

His nostrils flare, his eyes narrowing at me.

“Where?”

“What?”

“Where did they touch you?”

“Nikki…”

“Show me, Luce. Show me and let me erase the bad memories,” he says huskily.

I lick my lips, a shiver going down my spine at the intensity I see in his gaze.

Do I dare to do this? Can I do it?

Taking his hand, I bring it to my breasts, then I press it to my back, right above the swell of my ass before lowering it slowly.

“They touched you here?” His voice vibrates, an unnatural growl coming from him.

I nod.

“Fuck! Fuck, Luce. And I wasn’t here for you,” he rasps, his features anguished.

“You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

“I’m sorry.” He bends his head down. “I’m so fucking sorry it took me so long to come.”

“How can you say that?” My eyes widen. “You were in a coma, Nikki.”

“I should have been more careful. If only I hadn’t gotten in that accident. If only I hadn’t left my house that day…” he trails off, and I notice the regret mirrored in his eyes.

“Don’t,” I whisper. “You’re alive. To me, that’s all that matters.”

“I should have killed them,” he continues as if he didn’t hear anything I just said. “But I’m going to kill that bastard, Sergio. He won’t get away after what he’s done to you. God, it’s not even just your shoulder.” He shakes his head as he looks me up and down. “The calluses on your hands, the marks on your body…” he drifts off when he sees the change in my expression.

I avert my eyes.

If there is one sore subject I’m uncomfortable discussing, it’s the marks on my body.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he quickly amends. “You’re beautiful to me, Luce. No matter what marks you have on your body. There’s nothing more beautiful in this world than you.”

“You’re sweet to say that. But you haven’t seen the rest of them. They’re not just on my chest, Nikki. They’re on my belly, on my hips and on my thighs. They’re everywhere.”

“So? Do you think that I care?”

“I—I don’t know,” I stammer.

“Ah, sweetheart. I guess I’ll have to prove to you just how much I don’t. But not now. Not here. And certainly not until your shoulder is healed and you’re not in pain anymore,” he states glibly.

“Oh,” I blink. “And…” I wet my lips as I look up at him. “How would you prove that to me?”

No sooner are the words out of my mouth than he groans.

“Not the right moment, Luce. It’s not the right time for you to put those images in my brain.”

“Oh,” I repeat, blushing. “I see.”

“No, you don’t. But I promise you that you will,” he drawls, kissing the inside of my wrist. “The moment we’re done with this, I’m taking you to a courthouse, I’m making you my wife, and I’m moving you in with me. That is a promise.”

I don’t know how to reply to that.

Is it too fast?

Is it too… intense?

Is it too fantastical?

Maybe.

But I don’t care.

No, I can’t find it within myself to care. Not when I’ve felt adrift my entire life, but when I’m with him I finally feel at peace—home. There’s also the fact that I’ve been in love with him for years, always wondering what if. But not anymore. Now, I can turn all those dreams into reality, and I’m not going to let any of my doubts stop me.

So what if I’m still not very comfortable in my own skin, or that I’m a little wary about the intimacy that takes place between a man and a woman? I trust that with his help, I’ll slowly break out of my shell—no, I know I will.

“Okay,” I answer, my lips tipping up. “I just have one request.”

“Hm?” he asks, returning my smile as he pushes a strand of hair behind my ear. “Anything for you, Luce.”

“Can we…” I clear my voice, a little embarrassed by my request. “Can we take it slow? Physically I mean. I’m a little scared,” I admit.

I know Noelle assured me that sleeping with the man you love is not the same as the violent rapes I’ve witnessed, yet the images will not leave my head—nor the times I’ve come close to being a victim too.

“Oh, Luce,” he exhales pointedly. “You don’t even have to ask. I’ll always go at your pace,” he vows. “It’s going to be something new for both of us, and I want it to be equally special and comfortable for you.”

I smile, pleased with his answer.

Taking a step forward, I raise myself onto the tips of my toes and I plant a quick kiss at the corner of his lips.

“Thank you,” I whisper. “Thank you for valuing my choices.”

He smiles against my lips. Brushing his mouth against mine, he starts to deepen the kiss when a loud cry erupts from the bedroom.

“Lulu?”

“I’m here,” I reply, hurrying to get some towels and a bucket of water. I tell Nikki to stay behind and wait for my signal should I need his help.

When I reach Noelle’s side, I note how pale and terrified she looks.

“I’m scared,” she whispers. “What if something happens?”

“Nothing will happen,” I do my best to comfort her, laying a cool towel on her forehead.

“If it comes down to me and the baby… Choose him.”

I blink, surprised at her request.

“Noelle—”

“Please promise me. Promise me you’ll save him and take care of him.”

“I won’t let you die.” I shake my head.

How could she even ask that of me? She’s my dearest friend. Of course I’ll do anything in my power to make sure both her and the baby survive. I know we don’t have too many things going for us, from a lack of medical staff, to a lack of basic supplies. But even so, we have our determination.

“Sometimes things just happen.” She gives me a sad smile. “I’m starting to make peace with my past and everything that I’ve done—everything that’s led me here. I’ve been ready for death for a long time, Lulu. But as long as my baby lives, then I can go in peace.”

“Please don’t say that,” I take her hand in mine, squeezing it tightly. “I couldn’t bear if anything happened to you.”

“Promise me,” Noelle croaks “Please.”

She looks so desolate, so hopeless, that I can’t bring myself to deny her that promise.

“I promise you,” I whisper.

Noelle smiles, but the pain on her face is evident.

“I’ve never told you before, but I love you like my sister. I’m so lucky to have been able to meet you, Lulu. I want you to know that,” she murmurs, tears glistening in her eyes.

My own tears start falling down my cheeks. God, please help her. Please keep her safe! I can’t imagine a world without her—not after everything we’ve been through together. She’s been the sister I’ve never had, the best friend I could ever hope for, and the unlikeliest of saviors. I may not have always agreed with her choices, but I know I could always count on her loyalty, just as she could on mine.

“I love you, too, and I won’t let you die. I won’t,” I promise her.

She gives me a small nod, more sweat accumulating on her forehead. She’s in pain. Damn it!

I do my best to help her get into a comfortable position, but my wound makes it hard to move around too much. In the end, I decide that even if I tear the stitches, I can bear the pain in silence as long as she makes it out alive—both her and the baby. After all, what’s a little pain? I’m used to that, and I won’t die from it. Noelle, on the other hand, is in a very precarious position.

It’s not long before her contractions start and I move between her open legs to monitor the situation. When I tell her to push, Noelle pushes.

“Breathe,” I instruct her.

“It hurts,” she whimpers.

“I know, but he’s almost here. You’re a fighter, Noelle. So do what you do best—fight!” I encourage her. I can see the head of the baby. It’s right there. Just a little more.

“Come on! Push,” I tell her, looking up to see her straining, her face red from the effort.

God, she looks on the verge of passing out.

“Just a bit more. You can do it, Noelle!” I continue to encourage her—anything to keep her going.

Noelle shakes her head, mumbling some words.

“One more push. Come on,” I urge her “You can do it.”

Just when I think that she’s going to give up, she pushes one last time. The baby comes out into my waiting hands, showcasing his powerful lungs from the start.

I watch in wonder as the baby cries sharply, and for a moment, I can only stare at this little miracle. Tears stab at my eyes as I take a towel to clean him and a pair of scissors to cut the umbilical cord.

Except… It’s not a him.

I blink, surprised.

We’d been talking so much of her having a son that it’s utterly shocking to realize it’s a baby girl.

“You have a beautiful girl, Noelle,” I whisper, wrapping the baby in a clean cloth. Pride suffuses me as I look at her. God, but she is beautiful. More beautiful than I would have ever imagined. My heart thunders in my chest, a feeling of deja-vu flashing through me.

Noelle doesn’t answer me, and my gaze shoots up as worry spears through me.

“Noelle? Noelle, please answer me,” I call her name, louder. My voice is trembling and as I reach her side, I barely muster the courage to check for her pulse.

“Thank God,” I sigh in relief when I feel her heartbeat. She’s alive. She’s fine.

“Luce?” Nikki calls out from the bathroom. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes. I think so. The baby is fine, but Noelle passed out.”

Still, there’s something inside of me that tells me the baby should be with her mother for her first moments on this earth. Doing my best not to disturb Noelle too much, I lower her gown, revealing her chest, and I lay the baby onto her skin.

If before the little girl had been unable to stop crying, the moment her skin touches Noelle’s, she stops.

She just stops.

“Luce?” Nikki tentatively comes inside.

“It’s a miracle, Nikki. She’s a miracle,” I whisper, tears accumulating in my eyes. “Let’s leave them like this for a moment, and then we’ll clean her up and we can take her to the hospital.”

“Your wound,” he suddenly says, and I doubt he heard anything I just told him—not with the way he’s intently staring at my shoulder.

“It’s fine,” I mumble.

“No, it’s not fucking fine!”

I don’t even get to protest as he pulls on my blouse to reveal the bandage all soaked in blood.

“For fuck’s sake, Luce. I could have helped. You could have asked me and I could have helped,” he grits out.

I shake my head.

“I couldn’t betray her trust like that. I know that if I were in her position, I wouldn’t want a strange man to see me naked and at my most vulnerable,” I explain.

His features are tense, but eventually he gives me a brisk nod. He doesn’t let me tend to the baby though, taking her into his arms and bathing her himself—with some instructions from me.

Well, I think it’s safe to say that if I weren’t already in love with him before, I would be now. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows as he does his best to clean the baby girl in the sink.

“You missed a spot there,” I point to her back.

He doesn’t complain, merely trying harder. And that’s adorable. It’s a little too cute if you ask me.

“There. Now she’s perfectly pink,” he exhales loudly.

I giggle despite the pain in my shoulder. How could I not when both of them are so damn cute? Something about this picture makes my heart ache, and it’s at that moment that I decide we’re going to have children too—lots of them. Just knowing I could see him like this with our baby makes me want to yearn for that future.

He’s so attentive with her and so sweet, that I can’t help but melt—time and time again. But as the baby starts crying again, I tell him to wrap her in a blanket and bring her back to Noelle for a little bit. Advising him to turn his back, I move the baby around until she latches onto Noelle’s breast. Then, I cover her carefully so there’s nothing indecent showing.

“She’s so beautiful,” I note as we both gaze at the mother daughter duo. “I wonder what she’ll name her now that Mali is not an option anymore?”

He frowns, and I explain that she’d been convinced it was a boy.

“What about Malia? It’s a girl’s name.”

“You’re right. Malia,” I repeat, liking the sound of it. “I think Noelle’s going to love it too.”

While little Malia gets her first meal, Nikki cleans my wound and replaces the stained bandage with a new one. I’m close to my breaking point pain-wise, and I can’t even disguise my winces, or muffle my low whimpers of pain.

All throughout, he’s shaking his head as he looks at me, giving me one of those I can’t believe you glances. Still, I’m happy with my choice. I would never betray Noelle’s confidence just to make myself more comfortable.

Soon, though, we need to cut everything short as we hear cars pulling up at the hacienda. Nikki glances outside from behind the curtain.

“They’re being greeted like royalty. They must be important,” Nikki suggests.

I purse my lips. Why would Sergio schedule an event today—especially today? Whatever his plan is, it can’t be a good one, and I’m scared that he means to harm either Noelle or her baby.

We’d both expected from the beginning that he would try to use her baby against her, and for that very reason, I’d tried to rack my brain for a solution. Luckily, I’d overheard some women the night before about the troublesome birth of a villager, and the fact that the mother didn’t think the child would survive.

So I’d impulsively proposed a bargain. Should the baby die, I would buy his body off of the family. They must think I’m doing some sort of witchcraft with it, but since the money had been more than they’d get in a year, they hadn’t been able to refuse.

Still, we might be able to save baby Malia. But what about Noelle?

“What if we take her with us too? We can all escape,” I suggest, feeling uneasy about the entire situation. “Or I can stay behind and take care of her.”

We take little Malia from Noelle. Nikki changes the babies, placing the dead one in the cradle while taking the little girl in his arms.

“No. You’re coming with me,” Nikki immediately replied. “But we can’t risk taking her now, Luce. You’re injured. She’s injured. And we have a baby with us. We won’t be able to carry her out without being discovered. We’ll get caught.”

I purse my lips.

I don’t like having to leave Noelle behind.

“We’ll be quick, I promise. We’ll go to Monterrey and I’ll come back for her. It will be a few hours maximum.”

I gaze up at him, unsure what to do. What he’s saying makes sense, but I don’t feel right leaving while she’s still here. Yet at the same time, if Noelle were awake, she’d tell me to save the baby first and come back for her later.

I sigh in confusion, my brain and my heart in total opposition. Yet a few moments of consideration later and I ultimately admit that Nikki is right.

But just as we both get ready to leave, someone bangs on the door.

My eyes widen in alarm, and I shoo Nikki into the bathroom with the baby, praying to God that she’s not going to cry and give us away.

“El Señor wants to see the baby,” one of the maids says, giving me a pointed look.

I would have wondered how he knew Noelle had already given birth, but I guess people must have heard the baby’s cries.

“Does he now,” I mumble dryly.

“If you don’t take the baby to him, he will come here himself,” she continues, turning to look at Noelle’s form in the bed. The threat is implicit—should Sergio come here himself, he might hurt Noelle.

“I will go there right away.” I nod, going to the cradle and picking up the dead baby. I bite down against the pain in my arm as I plaster a fake smile onto my face. “Please lead the way.”

I turn ever so slightly, giving Nikki a signal to lay low as I exit the room.

The maid leads me out of the house and toward the temple. A sliver of fear shoots through me as I imagine what I’ll find inside there. I’d already once witnessed the debauchery in which Sergio engaged in, and it had been enough for a lifetime.

I tighten my hold over the dead baby as I focus on not passing out from the pain. The more I move, the more I feel as if my arm is about to fall off.

Don’t show weakness!

God, how I wish I could do that. But I fear I’m too far gone to be able to pretend I’m not in perpetual pain.

The doors to the temple open and I’m led to the main room—the same one I’d seen before. And just like that time years ago, Sergio is in the middle of the room, surrounded by a dozen other men.

I gulp down against the intense feeling of discomfort I’m feeling as I step forward. My head is bent down as I reach his side, not wanting to meet his gaze and incur his wrath for my insolence.

“Look what you have here,” he notes wryly.

I don’t answer. I know the rules. Wait until you’re asked a clear question. Otherwise keep your mouth shut.

“I’m guessing you’re not as loyal to your mistress as you pretended to be,” he adds mockingly, and everyone laughs.

“Where is she?” he asks, my cue to finally talk.

“She’s sleeping.”

“Hm.” He smirks, and from the corner of my eye, I see him give a few nods to his audience.

“Put the baby down,” he suddenly commands.

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath as I focus on the knowledge that little Malia is fine with Nikki.

It’s just a little pain. You can do it!

I do my best to keep a neutral expression as I bend down and lay the baby on the floor.

“You can go now and tell your mistress that if she wants her spawn back, she needs to come here and get it. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir,” I mutter.

I’m dismissed without a second thought, everyone suddenly behaving as if I’m not present anymore. A quick glance around tells me the guests are partaking in drugs and alcohol—the start of a celebration? God, Noelle had been so right about him. He’s been planning this from the beginning.

After I exit the temple, I quickly make my way back to the house.

“We need to leave. Now,” I tell Nikki the moment I’m inside the room. “Sergio is busy for the moment, but I don’t know for how long.”

“Let’s head to my car.”

I nod, but I can’t bring myself to leave without going by Noelle’s bedside one more time. I tuck a small piece of paper under her pillow—a short letter detailing what happened, that her baby is in safe hands and that I’ll come back for her as soon as possible.

“I’ll be back,” I whisper as I kiss her brow. “Rest and regain your strength. This time I will save you.”

Hiding the baby in a little basket, we hurry out of the house and to the garage where his car is. We meet some staff on the way, but I keep my head down and I pretend to serve him as one of the master’s guests.

“Quickly. I’m not sure if they believed our ruse,” I say as Nikki gets behind the wheel while I climb into the seat next to him, holding the basket with little Malia in my lap.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got you,” he assures me with a smile, pulling out of the garage and heading onto the driveway.

Every mile we advance, I look back, sure that I’m going to see cars following behind. It happened before, why wouldn’t it now?

But it doesn’t.

We drive for one hour, and no one comes after us.

Only after we pass the second hour and we get closer and closer to the city do I finally admit to myself that maybe we’ve done it. Maybe… we got away.

Little Malia starts crying at some point, but I’m not Noelle, and she doesn’t seem to calm down in my presence. On the contrary, she cries even harder.

“Almost there,” Nikki assures me, calling the hospital in advance to expect us.

“Okay,” I breathe out, though I can barely see in front of me. My eyes are heavy, my sight foggy. I can’t feel my arm anymore, and a smile tips at my lips as I realize the pain is gone. Gone…

“Luce?”

I struggle to open my eyes.

“Luce?” the voice repeats.

“Nikki?” I croak, my throat dry. I lick my lips to find them chapped and equally as dry. “Water?”

He brings me a glass of water and I drink greedily. It’s only a few moments later that I look down at my arm to find it in a sling. There’s only numbness where I’d gotten shot.

I frown as I start to recall the events of the day.

“Malia?” I ask with a whisper. “What happened? Is she alright?”

“We’re at the hospital. You passed out on the way,” Nikki explains. “Little Malia is in the newborn intensive care. I explained to them that the mother had never been for a check-up and they said they are going to run some tests and keep her overnight for observation.”

I nod along.

“A doctor saw you, too, and he had to clean your wound and stitch you up. He said you shouldn’t strain yourself for a while.”

“Noelle,” I shoot out of bed. “We need to go back.”

“I’ll go back. You stay here, Luce,” Nikki insists, but I’m not about to let him go alone.

“She’s my friend. I promised her.”

“You’re hurt, Luce,” he sighs.

“I don’t care. She’s my friend!” I grit out, ready to fight him on this if need be.

He regards me for a moment, his lips pursed.

“Fine. I can’t deny you anything, can I?” He gives me a sad smile.

“Will Malia be okay here? Who’s going to watch over her?”

“I’ve already taken care of that. I’ve hired a wet nurse for the time being—at least until Noelle is able to nurse her again. I’ve also appointed a few bodyguards to do rounds in the hospital in case Sergio sends anyone after her.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you. Thank you.” I give him a tentative smile.

We don’t wait to be formally discharged and soon we’re back on the road. And in a little over two hours, we’re back at the hacienda.

Except…

“No. No, no, no,” I whisper as I get out of the car, stumbling to the ground.

The entire house is ravaged by fire. God… there are flames everywhere.

“No. She can’t be dead. I know she’s not dead,” I mumble incoherently as I drag myself up, running toward what’s left of the building. But I only get to take a few steps before Nikki’s strong arms are around my waist, holding me back.

“Please, Luce.”

“She can’t be dead,” I cry out. “No! Let me go!”

“No one could have survived that, Luce. Just look at it. It’s almost burned to the ground.”

“Let me go. Please,” my voice breaks.

Please….

But he doesn’t. Because there’s barely anything left out of the hacienda.

Nothing but debris and the memory of the girl who once saved me.