The Nameless Luna – Book Two: What Binds and Breaks: Chapter 10

There are things that time cannot heal.
It’s been three days since I met my father by the lake that fateful night. Three days since my life changed forever.
The Night King offered to take me back to the Rovers’ territory. He explained that he could travel through shadows and warned that sunlight could be deadly to vampires. But I can’t go back, and it has nothing to do with sunlight.
It seems being a half-breed has its perks. I’ve always been a little extra sensitive to sunburns, but that’s hardly the end of the world. Because of my mixed bloodline, I can walk under the sun as well as keep my calm under the full moon.
My father suspects I would become stronger if I fed on blood, but due to my mother’s wolf lineage, I can just as easily survive without it. So much has changed in such a short span of time, and I’m not sure I want to know what feeding would do to me. Maybe it would finally unlock the power within me, and I’d finally manifest a wolf. Or maybe giving in to that side of myself would kill the wolf within me. It’s hardly an exact science, and no one like me has ever existed before.
We have no way of knowing if feeding on blood would unleash my wolf or destroy it. Right now, I’m not willing to find out. Perhaps I never will be.
There was once a time I would have given anything for this. I have a chance to access power unlike anything I’ve ever known. I’m living in a literal palace, and the nightwalkers treat me like a proper princess, dutifully doting on my every whim. I know the truth about my past, and I finally understand where I come from and what happened to my mother. I have a father who adores me.
But nothing is simple anymore.
I asked the Night King if I could stay with him for a while until I figured out what to do about the curse of the Moon Goddess. He’d been delighted, but I remained unable to share in his joy.
Marco is an odd character, to say the least. He is overly formal and proper, restrained even when he’s emotional. Though he clearly cares about me deeply, and he’s trying to foster a relationship with me, he’s somewhat stern.
Your parents are supposed to know you better than anyone, but we are strangers to one another. All these years that we never knew each other feel like a chasm between us, but to his credit, my father is doing what he can to build a bridge across it.
He has done everything possible to help me feel at home in his kingdom, which is a stark contrast to that of Rovers. Rather than a patchwork mountain town, the nightwalker’s territory is a citadel located on the highest mountains of Silvertooth Peaks.
My father’s palace is at the heart of the citadel, and while the outer fortress is seemingly impenetrable, the castle gates are always open. The members of his clan are perfectly polite, the members of his council calm and introverted. Life is peaceful here in a very different way than it was with the Rovers. Nightwalkers are old creatures, and while the Rovers have been forged by hardship and conflict brought on by the judgment of other packs, my father’s clan has thrived in secrecy.
Their lifestyle is ancient and unhurried. While they’re as strong as a full-grown wolf and as fast as Nico himself, they seem to do things slowly. I suppose when you exist for as long as they have, life loses a sense of urgency. They’re a subdued and scholarly species, especially compared to the heightened emotions of wolves, and they dedicate their time to literature, science, and philosophy.
Because of their sensitivity to daylight, everyone goes to sleep at sunrise and wakes at nightfall. After weeks of waking up at dawn to train with Amara, my sleep schedule is an absolute mess. But I will adjust. I have to.
Because the truth is, no amount of time will change what I now know. I’ve had the chance to speak to some of the wisest scholars in my father’s court, and they’ve all confirmed my worst fears.
The curse is in my heart, placed there by the Goddess herself to deny me the gift that my mother had scorned. The mating bond.
I could cut the crescent-shaped scar off my chest, carve the mark off my skin, but the magic would remain. The curse is tied to my very existence, and though my father promises he has the brightest minds trying to find a way to break it, he cannot hide the mournful truth in his eyes.
There is no hope.
So I decide to stay in the Night Kingdom, and I try to tell myself it’s for the best. This life is better than anything I could have ever dreamed of while I was locked away by the Banes.
And though the thought pains me more than I can express, I was never really a Rover. After all, how many times did Tristan say that I was his guest? Sophie’s vision was the only reason he brought me into his home in the first place. That did not make me a member of his pack, and it certainly did not make me his Luna.
Tonight, the nightwalkers will hold a ball in celebration of my arrival. My father will announce that I am the long-lost princess of his people, and I will be welcomed to the clan. I expect it to be a stunning but serene evening.
But fine gowns and grand halls cannot fill the aching emptiness in the pit of my stomach.
Tristan will never mate with me. Even if he wants to let me in, and no matter how hard we both try to bring down our walls, we’ll never be together that way.
If we continue trying, it won’t just keep hurting me. The curse could downright kill me. Besides, the Goddess punished me for the love my parents felt. Who’s to say she wouldn’t punish my mate for resisting her penance?
I might be willing to risk Selene’s wrath, but I won’t drag Tristandown with me. I won’t let my own desire damn him. I can’t.
I can’t selfishly hold on to the people I love, not if it risks hurting them.
But I did not consider that even if I let go of the Rovers… they would not let go of me in return.