Even after a blissful night of orgasms, it’s hard not to be a little tense the following morning. I keep checking the clock on the kitchen stove as I count down until the time that Iris is supposed to arrive this morning, left to my own devices since Aiden ran out to the gym. (I suspect his convenient absence during Iris’s visit might even be on purpose, although he avidly denies it.) I am placating myself with remembering how excited Sophie is to see her aunt.
By the time the doorbell rings, I’m downright jumpy, and I shoot up from the couch even as I hear Sophie bounding down the stairs and rushing past me down to the first level as I toddle after her. Iris always looks different with Sophie—her terse demeanor fading in the embrace of this lovable little girl, and I can’t help but wish I could find some bridge to that Iris. I know it would do this entire household a world of good if I could somehow draw that side of her out more. As expected, her expression changes when she notices me lingering at the bottom of the stairs, giving me a curt nod as she breaks away from Sophie’s grasp.
“Hey,” I offer, giving an awkward wave.
Our last encounter is still fresh on my mind, and I imagine the same can be said for Iris. It makes for a tense greeting, that’s for sure. Especially since all the things she had insinuated about me have turned out to be decidedly true.
Another nod for my trouble. “Morning,” Iris answers.
Sophie notices the gift bag in Iris’s hand then, squealing excitedly. “Is that my present?”
“Yep,” Iris says with a grin. “Do you want to open it?”
“Yes!”
Sophie snatches the bag greedily, flouncing away from the both of us as she skips up the stairs back to the living room, leaving Iris and me lingering in the entryway. I clear my throat as I rub my arm, trying for a polite smile.
“Have you eaten? I was going to make breakfast soon.”
Iris shakes her head. “That’s okay,” she tells me. “I had a bagel on the way over.”
“Oh, okay.”
There is another long span of seconds where we both just stand there, until I decide I can’t take it anymore. “Hey, about the other day—”
“I should apologize,” Iris cuts in.
I blink in surprise. “What?”
“I made some pretty rude insinuations.” She looks down at her feet. “I have a hard time coming to terms with Sophie spending the bulk of her time with someone who isn’t me.”
I can almost see past her tough exterior then, genuine emotion peeking through as her brow furrows and her mouth turns down. “Oh, well . . .” I shift my weight from one foot to the other. “I imagine it’s got to be hard.” I go back and forth on whether or not I should involve myself more in this strained situation, finally deciding that I won’t be able to live with myself if I don’t. “You know, I would never want to get in the way of you spending time with her,” I stress. “Maybe we could work together here. Sophie needs you,” I say. “Like I said the other day . . . she needs everyone she can get.”
Iris looks genuinely surprised, her mouth parting slightly as she processes what I’ve said. She nods finally, a slow concession, taking a deep breath only to expel it. “You’re right. She does need that.” She looks down at her feet again. I get the sense that apologies don’t come easy to her. “Aiden hinted that you might be responsible for my invitation to her trip the other day.”
“Oh, no,” I argue. “Sophie wanted you there! I just told Aiden it might make things easier if he—” Iris is looking at me strangely, and I clamp my mouth shut. “Anyway. I just want Sophie to be happy.”
“I’m starting to understand that,” Iris answers sincerely.
Little victories. I celebrate internally.
“You guys!” Sophie calls from the floor above. “Are you coming?”
Iris shares a small smile with me, and this feels like a victory too. “I think we’re being summoned.”
“I’ve learned patience isn’t her virtue,” I chuckle.
Iris follows me up the stairs, where Sophie is sitting in the middle of the living room beside a now-empty sack and a pile of tissue paper, holding three new games for her Nintendo Switch.
“Cassie!” Sophie holds out one game in particular. “Aunt Iris got me Animal Crossing!”
“Oh boy,” I gush, falling to my knees beside her. “That’s exactly what you wanted.”
“You can build your own island in this one!”
“Well, that sounds like a dream,” I tell her.
Sophie is already reading the back covers of each of her new games, and I turn to Iris, who is standing nearby with her arms crossed to give her a thumbs-up. I’m rewarded with another small smile; today is full of all sorts of victories, I think.
Sophie holds up another case. “She got me Sonic, too!”
“Oh, that’s the movie you’ve been bugging me to go see, right?”
Sophie rolls her eyes. “That’s Sonic Two,” she corrects me. “It looks so funny!”
“I know, I know, but I have labs this weekend. Maybe we can go one day after school next week, or maybe—”
I have an idea then, striking me out of nowhere. I can feel my mouth hanging as I turn to Iris, thinking that maybe I can gain more points here with the terse aunt who is just starting to warm up to the idea of liking me.
“Hey,” I call, pointing at Iris while my idea still pings around in my head. “Do you have to work today?”
Iris frowns. “Later? I have to take over for my clerk at two. She has an appointment.”
“Why don’t you and Sophie go to a movie? You could get breakfast, or lunch after—whatever you want. I mean, if you want to?”
It’s the second time I’ve surprised Iris this morning, if her expression is any indication. “Do you think Aiden would be okay with that?”
“I’ll text him,” I assure her. “I’ll tell him it was all my idea, promise. But I think he will be fine. We can just swap numbers in case something comes up, and I need to come get her. What do you think?”
“That sounds . . .” Iris’s arms slowly uncross as she looks between Sophie and me, still a little stunned. “That sounds great, actually. If you’re sure it’s okay.”
Technically, I’m not one hundred percent, but I am pretty confident, at least.
“Sophie.” I turn to address her. “Do you want to go with Aunt Iris?”
Sophie nods enthusiastically. “Yes!”
“Why don’t you go upstairs and change while I text your dad? I’m sure he’ll be fine with it. You two can have a proper girls’ day for your birthday.”
Sophie hops up, snatching up her games but leaving her mess, practically sprinting past us toward the stairs as she heads up her room. I pull my phone out of my pocket to shoot a text to Aiden, fairly positive he will be okay with this idea but wanting to make absolutely sure before I send them out the door. I’m prepared to convince him that it is, if need be.
“Thank you,” Iris says behind me. I turn to find her features have softened considerably, gratitude shining in her eyes. “Seriously.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I tell her. “Sophie’s happiness is the most important thing here, right?”
Iris nods. “Right.”
“Well, you’re a part of that.”
“I really appreciate that,” Iris says, almost like she’s relieved to hear it.
Maybe she’d begun to doubt it.
“You two go and have fun,” I urge. “I’ve got some homework I can catch up on. You’re practically doing me a favor here.”
Iris’s mouth quirks. “Right.”
I grin back at her, doing a mental fist pump. It seems like I may be finding the cracks in this woman’s armor after all. Even if only a little.
Good thing I’m incredibly patient.
After an hour of hanging out in my room staring at my laptop, I finally relax enough to stop checking my phone. I have had to remind myself numerous times that Aiden approved Iris and Sophie’s outing, and that someone will definitely let me know if I’m needed.
It’s funny, I’m worrying about Sophie like she’s actually my kid or something.
I’m lounging on my bed with the door to my room slightly ajar, and I hear it when Aiden’s keys jingle in the door, when it opens and closes to signal his arrival.
“Cassie?”
“In here,” I call, closing my laptop.
He appears in my doorframe to lean against it, and it is . . . a sight. A sweat-drenched Aiden Reid. On all the days he’s come back from the gym, I’ve had to avert my eyes, to make sure that I didn’t stare for too long. Which, now that I’m able to look my fill, I’m realizing was an actual tragedy.
He crosses his arms, his biceps pressing against his T-shirt sleeves. “Are they still gone?”
“Yeah, I imagine they will be for a little while. They were going to get breakfast, I think.” I check the time on my phone. “The movie didn’t start till eleven, so . . . I doubt we’ll see them until at least one.”
“It was nice of you to offer,” Aiden says.
I shrug. “I’m determined to be the first nanny who Iris doesn’t hate.” I hold up my phone and shake it back and forth. “I even got her number. Bet none of the other nannies can say that.”
Aiden grins. “No, they can’t.”
“It looks like you at least got a good workout while you were hiding at the gym,” I tease, eyeing the darker patch of cotton at his chest where the sweat is still drying.
“I wasn’t hiding,” he huffs.
I roll my eyes. “Sure you weren’t. I think someone might be a little afraid of big, scary Iris.”
“Am I,” he murmurs, eyeing me.
I feel a flicker of desire lick low in my belly with the way his eyes move over my body, watching them travel up my legging-clad thighs and across my chest. A girl could get all sorts of ideas with a man like Aiden looking at her like he is.
“You said it will be a few more hours,” he repeats, still eyeing me, “until they get back.”
I nod slowly. “I did.”
“I need a shower,” he says deliberately. “Would you be interested in joining me?”
My mouth is curling just as all the reasons why that’s a bad idea hits me—realizing that a shower means being completely exposed and out of control. Thus far I’ve been able to hide the scar on my back that will surely give everything away, but naked and wet will one hundred percent ensure that Aiden sees it, subsequently discovering just how well he knows me, even outside of our newfound intimacy.
I try to mask the building anxiety in my chest, keeping my expression even as I push my laptop to the side. “What if I like you like this?”
“Like this?” He looks down at his damp clothes. “I’m a sweaty mess.”
“I can think of a lot better reasons for you to be a sweaty mess,” I tell him coyly.
His expression changes. “Can you.”
“Mm-hmm.”
I pat the bed beside me, and he immediately pushes away from the doorframe to press a knee to the edge of bed before crawling up toward me. His hands brace on either side of my hips to cage me in, and I have to admit that the smell of his sweat mixed with his deodorant and something that is just inherently Aiden isn’t at all unpleasant.
“And how do you propose we fill the time, Cassie?”
I reach to let my fingertips tuck under his shirt, grazing his abdomen and feeling it tense under my touch. “I can think of a few things.”
“Hmm.” He ducks his head to press his lips to my throat, and I close my eyes, curving my fingers around either side of his hips. “Are you asking me to fuck you, Cassie?”
My stomach clenches. It’s still a little difficult to reconcile the shy-smiling Aiden with the dirty-mouthed A that I now know are one and the same, and I can’t help but wonder just how much Aiden has been holding back with me.
“I might be,” I gasp, feeling his knee wedge between my legs, applying pressure between them. “If you’re not too tired. I know at your age all that activity might—”
I yelp when his teeth nip at the base of my throat, his hand covering my breast through my shirt to squeeze as his thumb teases my nipple through my thin sports bra. His hands are already tugging at my leggings—the cool air of the air-conditioning hitting my skin as he rolls them down, with my underwear following close behind.
“You’re already soaked,” he murmurs. “I think you want me to fuck you very badly.”
I turn my face to kiss his jaw, tucking my fingers into the waistband of his athletic shorts. It takes only one motion to pull him free, and he makes a pained sound when my hand wraps around his already-hard cock to give him a teasing stroke. “You’re no better off, Mr. Reid.”
“I’m learning that I always want to fuck you, Cassie. It’s becoming a problem.”
“I’d hardly call it a problem,” I breathe, pressing my thumb against his slit to smear the bit of precome there. “Especially since I feel the same way.”
He’s starting to ease my T-shirt up my belly, and that same panic bleeds through my heavy arousal as warning bells set off in my head. I push at his hips to urge him to turn, guiding his body until he falls to his side and then rolls on his back. He situates himself so that he’s resting against the headboard and my pillows, and I crawl into his lap immediately, sliding my wet center against his hard cock in a slow back-and-forth while his hands settle at my hips to grip there.
“Let me,” I say. “Wouldn’t want you to tire out.”
He tries to smile, but it’s short-lived when I rock against him again. I brace my hand on his shoulders as I reach between us to grab his cock, holding him steady as I slowly lower down onto him. I can see the raised tissue of his scar near my fingers where they’ve rucked up his shirt, and there is a flash of guilt that surges through me, but it fades away quickly when he starts to fill me.
I like the way his mouth parts and his eyes grow heavy as he watches himself disappear inside me, his teeth settling against his lower lip as my hips meet his, completely full of him. “Do whatever feels good,” he murmurs, his voice like a thick honey that I can almost feel dripping down my skin. “I want to watch you use me.” His hand slides over my hips to palm my ass, looking at me with eyes that seem to be burning. “Because after that . . . I’m going to fuck you, Cassie.”
I can feel the way liquid heat courses through me, the way I practically drip with his words—clamping down around nothing as the air in my lungs seems to catch fire. His eyes are fixed on the place where we’re joined now, waiting for me to move at my own pace. He feels so much larger like this, so much deeper—and I whimper as I involuntarily constrict around him—a fruitless effort because there is no room left, no give. Nothing but Aiden.
I try to lift up slowly, feeling every inch of him sliding against me inside as I pull off. The sensation of lowering back down feels like I might burst with the thickness of him, but the slight burn is delicious, the friction heavenly.
“Good,” he grinds out, the sound harsh in my ears. “Good girl.”
I shiver, making a pitiful sound as my insides give another vain squeeze. Aiden rubs soothing circles at my thigh.
“You like that?” I feel his hand slipping between us, his thumb pressing against my clit to tease me. “Like hearing how well you take me?”
I think I nod; it’s a barely there movement that feels like too much—and Aiden hums in approval as he rolls his thumb against the most sensitive part of me.
“Fucking dream inside you,” he murmurs. “Keep moving like that, Cassie. I want to watch you fuck yourself on my cock.”
I try to lift my body, but it takes effort; I’m so fucking full that it’s a stretch just to lift off him. I can hear the way he hisses through his teeth when I lift my hips to slide up the length of him, hear his heavy exhale when I slowly sink back down.
“Good,” he grates. “Do it again.”
I do it again—a slow lift and a tight slide, my nails digging into his shirt as I roll my hips at the end of the movement this time. It brings him deeper—and I can’t help the long, loud moan that slips past my lips as my head lolls to rest against his shoulder.
“Aiden,” I gasp as I push up on my knees to lift off his cock, dropping back down as the girth of him nearly steals my breath. I’m just so full. “Aiden, I need—”
“Do you want me to fuck you now, Cassie?” His hand finds my cheek to urge my face away from his shoulder, cupping my jaw and pushing his fingers into my hair as I look back at him through hooded eyes. “Do you need a little more?”
I bite my lip, rocking my hips forward as I nod. I feel his hands grip my hips then, holding me steady. “Hold on to me.”
I wrap my arms around his neck as his lips tease at my jaw, the softness of his mouth a stark contrast to the hardness of his cock, which is still deep inside me.
“Cassie.” I pull back to find him watching me with eyes that seem darker than usual. He leans in slowly until his mouth hovers only inches from mine, curving it against my lips to linger briefly before he breathes, “You’re better than anything I ever fucking thought about.”
There’s a rush of sensation in my chest that flutters down into my stomach, the softness of his voice filling me with something that borders giddiness—but I hardly have any time to dwell on it. Not with the way he begins to move.
“Oh.”
He lifts me like it’s nothing, his hands tight at my hips as he pulls me up off his cock only to slam me back down again, thrusting up to meet me with a grunt. I feel him deeper like this, deep enough so that it’s almost uncomfortable—but there’s that slide of him against my inner walls, that wet friction as every ridge rubs me in just the right way. I hold on tight to steady myself as he thrusts into me with what feels almost like desperation, like he needs each one just a little more than the last.
“You feel”—each word sounds like an inhale, and then an exhale—“so goddamned good.”
He pulls my hips back and forth just to accentuate how full I am, to feel me. There’s a broken stream of muttering where I pick up things like can’t believe and so fucking tight and such a perfect little pussy—each one making my heart beat a little faster, making me squeeze around him again and again.
He finds a rhythm, a heavy lift and a sharp drop that has me bouncing on his cock. His head falls back against the headboard as his mouth parts in a throaty moan—alternating between eyes rolling back and homing in on where he disappears inside me again and again.
“Gonna come,” he warns through gritted teeth. “But not without you.” He takes to rocking my hips back and forth again—not actually thrusting but giving me minute amounts of friction anyway, just enough to keep me on the precipice. “Can you touch yourself? Want you to come on my cock.”
He leans in to kiss my neck while I find my clit with shaking fingers—swiping at the swollen little bud that is already so sensitive, so close. I tilt my head back to give his mouth better access while I work myself quickly, his sudden stillness making the throbbing of his cock inside obvious, making the fullness—the heat—that much more heady.
He’s lifting me again, bouncing me on his cock at that same rhythm that makes it hard to breathe, but it feels so good that I can’t even be bothered. My whimpers turns to moans that I can hardly contain—and his breath hisses between his teeth as he keeps trying to fuck me even as his thrusts grow erratic, resulting in a messy pace that still feels fantastic.
My fingers slip against my clit with how wet I am, but I just keep going, moving as fast as he is, chasing after the end with a bit of that same desperation.
“Aiden. Fuck, Aiden.”
“Come,” he bites out. “Fucking come, Cassie.”
I’m not even sure where it comes from now—be it my fingers on my clit or his cock that hits deep, touching me in all the right ways—but it doesn’t matter. It’s a slow, tumultuous pressure that swells and swells until it bursts—like fireworks exploding in my blood and my vision and deep, deep inside where his cock still moves—the sparks of it floating down to tingle at my skin as I shudder through it.
There are more filthy mutterings and heavy breaths that are hardly audible with the way my blood pounds in my ears, but I feel it—when he falls over the edge. His hips get tight to hold against mine, his cock pulsing against my walls like a steady throb. He pulls me close with thick arms wrapped around me, lips moving hungrily over my throat and my jaw and eventually my mouth as he empties deep inside.
“So good,” he breathes. “Fucking perfect.”
I shiver from both the praise and the sparks of my orgasm that are still zinging inside, falling against him in a boneless heap as his hands move across my back in heavy presses, like he can’t help but keep touching me. Even after, he keeps kissing me lazily, his lips a pleasant pressure against my skin.
“I can’t seem to touch you without losing control,” he murmurs eventually.
“Mm.” I snuggle closer. “I don’t mind.”
“It’s becoming a problem,” he says with a snort. “I’m finding that I always want to touch you.”
I pull back to give him a lazy grin, shrugging. “I don’t mind that either.”
“How are you so . . .” His words trail off as he shakes his head, deciding against whatever thought he had and pulling me in to crush his mouth against mine instead.
I melt into his kiss, letting the weight and heat of his body seep into my muscles like a relaxing balm, hardly even noticing that he is still rooted deep inside me.
“Now you’re a sweaty mess,” I tease as I break away.
I feel his lips curl against mine. “It feels a lot more worth it now.”
“I’m glad,” I answer, kissing him again.
“Although, I still need that shower.”
That familiar flash of guilt, and I hastily shove it back down as I remain calm.
“As tempting as that is . . . you did interrupt my homework.”
He chuffs out a laugh. “Oh, did I?”
“Also worth it.”
“I guess I wouldn’t want to get in the way of your education.”
“Any more than you already have, you mean,” I tease.
He smiles as he gives me another quick kiss, wincing as he pulls out of me and rolling me to my back to loom over me again. “I guess I’ll just have to find you later then.”
“Twice in one day? Scandalous.”
His smile is slow, inching across his face as he lowers to let his mouth hover against mine. “It still wouldn’t be enough.”
My pulse quickens as he kisses me again, and I close my eyes and enjoy the plushness of his mouth as I will the traitorous muscle to calm down. It’s almost disappointing when he finally pulls away, tucking himself back into his shorts, and part of me is tempted to say to hell with it and follow him right into that shower.
But then I remember all the reasons why I can’t, and again I feel that heavy weight of guilt settle at still not telling him of our past. Still too afraid to risk losing this to bring it up. I want to believe that it wouldn’t matter, that Aiden likes me enough to look past it—but the uncertainty makes me keep quiet, feeling like shit for doing so.
“Well, if you change your mind,” Aiden says as he slides off my bed. “You know where to find me.”
He winks at me from the door before he disappears through it, and I fall back against the covers in a huff, closing my eyes as my boneless, spent body settles into the mattress. In a second I will get dressed again and go back to what I was doing; I won’t follow Aiden, as tempting as it might be to do so, because I know deep down that I’m not ready yet. I’m not ready to face the truth and all the risks that come with it.
Even if, deep down . . . I know I’m just making it harder by waiting.
