Have you ever had one of those experiences where your life flashes before your eyes and you see all the exact moments you would do over and the ones you’d never change? That’s happening to me now as Ashley lays a brief knock on Cooper’s office door. We hear “Come in” then the montage starts rolling in my mind.
I see myself in my earlier twenties, feeling lonely, watching all my friends coupling up and getting married, and me, still working my butt off in a salon and spending my days off reading. Then, I get invited to a pretty crazy birthday party at a friend’s house. Brent catches my eye from across the room, and I feel a spark. He’s the cool guy, should probably be wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket, but instead, he’s in a t-shirt and jeans. He raises his glass to me, and I look behind me because I’m not sure it’s directed at me. He comes over and flirts like I’ve never experienced firsthand. I’m completely swept up in him and his dark mysterious eyes and feel ready to dash off to Vegas. He doesn’t want to go to Vegas; he wants to go back to my place. We do. We sleep together, and there’s no cuddling. He zips up and takes off without leaving his number, completely over me. Done.
Six weeks later, I’m holding a little stick that says Congrats, you’re a mom! and I don’t even know the phone number of my future child’s father. I search his name on Facebook and message him. He doesn’t reply for several days, so I panic and send him the words I’M FREAKING PREGNANT. CALL ME.
He does. Makes it clear that he’ll help with the child but doesn’t want a relationship with me. I have false hopes, though. Over the next nine months, they get crushed, and reality sets in as Brent goes out with woman after woman, and I’m stuck getting fat and swollen alone on my couch.
The next memory is me crying on the bathroom floor while my brother holds me. I’m sure I’ve ruined my life and I’ll never be happy again, but he quietly reassures me I will.
And then, my mom is holding my hand while the nurse puts a baby in the crook of my arm, and I sigh a breath of relief because everything the books on parenting say is true. I love this little squishball more than anything. He’s worth it all.
More memories of Christmases where I should feel lonely, but I don’t because Levi and I are making cookies with Uncle Drew and decorating the tree with my mom and dad. There’s a vague nagging feeling that says someone is missing, but it’s not crippling.
I remember all of this as the door opens to Cooper’s office, and I realize if I was strong enough to get through all of that, I can face the world’s hottest man and tell him I’m crazy about him without throwing up on his feet. I hope.
Ashley steps out of the way and lets me walk past her into the office. She winks as she closes the door, and now I’m alone—shut inside a lion’s den.
“Lucy,” Cooper says in a happy tone from behind his desk. He closes his laptop and stands, and I’m momentarily stunned because I thought Boat Cooper, Car Mechanic Cooper, and Park Day Cooper were all attractive, but Bossman Cooper is so sexy I think my legs are going to give out.
He scoots his chair away from the desk and shifts to the side, letting me get the full effect of him in a nicely pressed, form-fitting, dark-gray suit and tie, hair tousled and waving into perfection with a lock dancing down over his brow. He has a black leather watch on his wrist and dress shoes that match, and with the huge wall of glass behind him, it looks like he is the king of this city. They should name it Cooperville.
“How are you?” he asks with a confused but pleased smile. As he gets closer, I can now smell his cologne. Oh lordy, it smells warm and smooth and like I want to dive inside it and swim around all day long.
“I’m good. Well, no, actually, I’m terrible. I mean…I FEEL terrible. Physically. Not emotionally. Although, I don’t feel so great emotionally either.”
“Lucy!” Cooper stops in front of me with his incomparable masculinity on full display as his large hands wrap around both of my biceps with nothing but tenderness. “Breathe.” I do, in and out through my nose in a way any yogi would be proud of. “I’m glad you came by.”
“You are?”
His mouth tugs up on one side. “Of course. I was afraid you might get weird or try to avoid me after last night.”
“Ha! Me? Get weird? Preposterous.” That’s officially the first time I’ve ever said the word preposterous in my life.
He chuckles softly then lets go of my arms to take a step back, gesturing for me to sit in one of the chairs facing his desk. “Good. Well, welcome to my office. Have a seat and make yourself comfortable.”
I glance to the chair then back at Cooper, knowing I better not sit down and get comfortable. If I do, I’ll never tell him what I came here to say. I’ll end up settling in and asking him a hundred questions about his fancy title of… I squint at the name plaque on his desk, trying to remember what it is he does again: Senior Brand Manager. Right. He really is a boss. Remembering this does nothing to help my nerves. Okay, I need to spit it out before I chicken out, pull the fire alarm, and race out of this building.
“Cooper, we need to talk.” I set the box of donuts down on his desk and snap my eyes up to him sharply. I’m determined now, like a burly man sitting down to a pie-eating contest at the fair. I want to crack my knuckles. “I asked you to sleep with me last night.”
He blinks, and his smile turns amused. “I remember.”
“And you turned me down.”
He leans back and settles himself against his desk, crossing his arms. “Because you were drunk.”
His answer gives me hope. “Only because I was drunk?”
I watch his blue-green eyes narrow, like we’re in a game of chess and he’s trying to think ahead to my next move. “What is it you’re really wanting to know, Lucy?” Not fair. He just wiped all the chess pieces off the board.
I lick my lips—out of nerves, not sensuality—and force myself to meet his gaze like a grown-up. “Cooper…I…am sort of, kind of having feelings for you, and I want to know if maybe you’re having them for me too.” I abruptly pick up the donut box again and extend it to him. “Donut?”
