The Off Limits Rule: Chapter 25

Do you know what’s awkward? Me and Cooper.

We both sit stiff as boards and don’t say more than two words at a time for our entire twenty-minute drive.

“Good day?”

“Yep.”

“Levi good?”

“Yep. You?”

“Mmhmm.”

His knuckles are white from where he’s gripping the steering wheel. I think maybe he’s upset at me, or having second thoughts about this fake date, until we speed into the parking and Cooper all but jumps out while the tires are still rolling. He flings my door open, reaches in, unbuckles me, and then tugs me out. I squeal, trying to keep up with him as he puts his hand on my lower back and propels me toward the restaurant. “Cooper! What are you doing?”

He doesn’t answer, only barrels us through the front doors. The moment they close behind us, he grabs my hand and yanks me into a somewhat secluded corner of the waiting area. He puts his hands on my jaws, backing me against the wall. “There,” he says with a mischievous grin. “We’re officially on our fake date. The off-limits rule is suspended, and for the next two hours, you’re all mine.”

I suck in a breath as Cooper dips his head and lays a hot kiss on the base of my neck, making sparks fly across my skin. “Cooper! We’re in a restaurant.”

He stacks another kiss above the last, making himself a little trail up my neck. “You smell incredible. How do you always smell like this? Sweet and soft and like berries…or…I can’t figure it out.”

“People are staring!” I say in a whisper-hiss, but I feel my desire to care losing the fight as Cooper’s hand slowly glides from my shoulder down to my fingers where mine and his intertwine.

“Good. It’ll really sell this relationship to Trent.”

I chuckle as his skin brushes across my jaw. “You mean Brent?”

“Sure.” Cooper rounds my jaw with kisses, and I melt into his strong body. “You look beautiful, Lucy,” he says, pulling away enough to look me in the eyes.

My heart flips in my chest, and I didn’t realize how much I needed to feel this way until Cooper came along. Didn’t realize how much I had dimmed my light, forgotten to do things for myself, fallen into a contented slumber where all I worried about was if Levi was smiling and safe. Don’t get me wrong, those two things are—and will always be—the most important to me. But somewhere along the way, I forgot that I could still be a woman and Levi’s mom. They say if a plane starts to go down, adults need to pull on their masks first so they can then take care of the children. I had forgotten to pull my mask on. And until Cooper came along, I didn’t realize my oxygen was running out.

Now, I’m breathing again and realizing I can be both Lucy the woman and Levi’s mom.

I feel like I’m waking up from a long sleep. Or no…like I’m growing into something new. Because I’m not the same woman I was before I had Levi; I’m stronger, warmer, fluffier, and wiser. And I think it’s okay that I’m changing—good, even. Because the old Lucy would have been too afraid of rejection to initiate a kiss in front of a restaurant of people. The new Lucy, however, rises up on her tiptoes, grabs the front of Cooper’s shirt, and plants her lips firmly on his without abandon.

I feel Cooper smile against my mouth as his hands slide around my back and pull me in tight. I wrap my arms around his neck and sink into our kiss, even daring to lightly taste his bottom lip. A quiet groan sounds from the back of his throat, and I’m no longer worried about the world around us. Neither is he. We’re like that sappy newlywed couple you can’t bear to be around and want to unfriend on social media. I love it.

Kissing Cooper feels so good it makes me irrational. Like I want to run out and have someone make us matching airbrush t-shirts with our couple name on them. Luper or Coocy. Choices, choices. I’ll make an Instagram poll and have my twenty followers decide for me.

“Is this all you guys do?” Brent says from somewhere behind Cooper, sounding disgusted with a capital D.

I extract my lips from Cooper and pry my eyes open, taking in his lopsided smile, and honestly, I want to dive right back in. Maybe if I ignore Brent, he’ll just go away?

Cooper leans forward and kisses my forehead briefly before turning to face Brent and his girlfriend, Tanya. “Sorry, man. It’s tough to be around Lucy and not kiss her.” Does he really mean that? It’s not just part of the fake-date act, right? I hope he and I are on the same page that this is a fake fake date and that I’m taking to heart every little thing he says; otherwise, I’m going to be crushed when this is all over.

Brent clearly has no idea what to do with that statement because he’s never once felt that way about me, so he turns the conversion to Tanya and introduces his runway-model girlfriend to Cooper. Just kidding, she’s not a model. She’s actually a bio-engineer who LOOKS like a model, so you can imagine how hard it is for me to feel incredible in this moment. Should have worn the lace. Luckily, I really like Tanya. She’s sweet and has always been kind to me.

After awkward introductions, the hostess takes us to our table with Brent and Tanya leading the way. I’m trying hard to stay positive about my newfound sense of pride with Tanya’s firm booty swaying in front of me, and I would say I do a moderately good job of it. I’m jolted out of my self-criticism, though, when Cooper’s hand leaves mine and, before I can register what’s happening, he lightly pinches my left butt cheek. I gasp and look up at him with wide eyes, my melancholy from a moment ago erased and laughter buzzing through me.

Cooper gives me the most overly innocent eyes and helpless shrug I’ve ever seen. “What? It’s what I’d do if we were really together. Got to stay in character.”

I can’t hold it in. I laugh and lean into him, wrapping both of my arms around his bicep, walking like this the rest of the way to the table. He kisses the top of my head with a smile on his mouth, and I can’t help but wish this moment could be permanent.

Maybe it can be.

I want to kill Brent. My hands are itching to wrap around his neck with how frustrating and terrible he’s been to me all night. First, he asked how Cooper and I met, and when Cooper told him the story of me jumping off the cliff, Brent made an obnoxious comment, insinuating I must have been drunk, because I would never do something fun like that. Then, he tried to act like a buddy-buddy man’s man with Cooper and nudged him across the table, asking him if he’d seen my usual look yet. He insinuated heavily that the way I look tonight is nothing close to how I look on a daily basis. Cooper—bless him—responded, saying he was actually disappointed I didn’t wear my dinosaur pants tonight. I wanted to put my hands in his hair and kiss him into oblivion.

The dinner proceeded just like that, with lots more tiny little digs at me from Brent that felt so out of place I almost couldn’t believe it was happening. He never treats me like this—putting me down in front of other people. He and I truly have always been like two platonic-friendish people raising a kid together, so the hostility he’s shown me this evening makes no sense. It feels intentional and personal.

“So, Cooper, I know we’re already briefly acquainted through work, but tell me more about yourself outside the work world,” Brent says like he actually cares while dabbing the corner of his mouth with his napkin. I try to hide an eye roll, because I know he doesn’t care about Cooper. I’ve proved myself able to make good choices where Levi is concerned enough over these past four years, so he’s not really doing this out of a need to know that Levi is safe. I think this is his way of getting revenge because I’m the one who doesn’t trust him to make good choices about what company he keeps.

“Sure,” says Cooper, with an easy smile that makes my insides melt. He drapes his hand over the back of my chair and rubs a soft line up and down the back of my neck while keeping his attention focused on Brent. My world is spinning. “What do you want to know?”

“What do you like to do for fun?” Brent’s eyes follow Cooper’s hand as it tenderly caresses my neck, and then something odd happens. He lifts his arm and wraps it around Tanya’s shoulders. Am I nutty, or does that seem a little competitive?

“In the summer, I like to wakeboard”—Ah! I know this!—“and the rest of the time I’m pretty easy. I like to read, watch movies, maybe go hiking occasionally.”

“Hiking,” Brent scoffs. “Good luck getting Lucy to do anything outdoorsy with you.” I frown at Brent because it’s annoying that he’s acting like he knows me when he doesn’t, and also that he’s trying to make me look bad in front of Cooper.

“I’d actually love to go hiking with you.”

“Yeah? I’ll take you any time you want, Luce.”

Brent snorts again, and I have no idea where this is coming from, but let me tell you, I’m sick of it. “Sorry, I’m just not buying it.”

Cooper’s hand falls from my neck to rest on my thigh. It’s not meant to be seductive; it’s comforting. His glare across the table, however, is terrifying. “Well, it’s a good thing it’s none of your business then, isn’t it?”

Brent frowns and leans forward to rest his elbows on the table. “As long as you’re around my kid, you and the mother of my child’s business becomes my business.” He did not just say that. Someone hold my earrings! This man suddenly trying to act like he is devoutly devoted to Levi rather than an occasional part of his life is really getting on my nerves.

“So, what’s this really about, man?” asks Cooper, his voice calm but with an edge to it that has me covering his hand where it rests on my leg. Cooper is tall with a powerful build, and I’ve never thought of it as dangerous before. But with that sharpness aimed at Brent, I see he is not a man you’d want to mess with.

“Excuse me?” Brent shoots back, adding his own taunting inflection.

Tanya interjects by waving the drinks menu in the middle of the table like a flag. “Who wants another drink? I’m thinking maybe a white wine this time? What about you, Lucy? Cocktail?” She gives me a happy smile, and—sweet darling—she really thinks that’s going to distract the guys from whatever is boiling between them.

“I’m just wondering why you seem to be shooting down everything Lucy has said tonight. Seems odd to me for a man who’s never been in a relationship with her to pretend he knows her so well.”

I tug on Cooper’s sleeve a little, trying to figure out how to stop this train that has clearly left the station. I’m afraid I’m going to have to throw my body in front of it—and not in a sexy way.

Brent rolls his shoulders a little and nods toward me. “I just think this whole thing is odd. One minute, Lucy’s single and living with Drew, and the next, you two are all over each other anywhere I turn. I’m making sure whatever this is you guys have going on is healthy and that Levi is not going to get hurt in the mix.” Well, I could tell him that, technically, Cooper and I are nothing right now, but I don’t because I think that would make things worse.

“No, that’s not it.” Cooper’s smile is cunning and sort of tingles my spine. “We both know why you’re acting like a d-bag tonight, and it has nothing to do with your concern for Lucy or Levi.”

Brent’s eyebrows fly up, and he looks to me like I should be his backup. When he sees I’m not coming to his defense, he sinks back in his chair and steeples his fingers in front of him. “Well, by all means, tell me since you seem to know already.”

Cooper’s smile falls, and now his face looks like beautiful stone. His eyes flare as he locks them on Brent. “If I had to guess, I’d say you’ve always kept Lucy as your backup option.” I wince at Cooper’s words, feeling the uncomfortable truth in them. “She was having your child, but you weren’t ready to commit, so you tossed her to the back burner. From what she’s told me, it sounds like you’ve tried to string her along all these years, which supports my backup-option theory. Seems like you try to keep a spark of hope alive in Lucy so when you’re ready to settle down, she’ll be there.”

Is Cooper right? His words are alcohol on a wound I didn’t know I had. Did Brent think I was only back-burner material? Somehow, that feels worse than him just not having feelings for me.

Cooper leans forward slightly and smiles, looking more like a feral animal baring its fangs than a person giving a friendly greeting. “But here’s problem number one.” Cooper holds up a finger, sarcastic smile still in place. “You’re a selfish idiot, too arrogant to see that Lucy stopped wanting you a long time ago.” Another finger pops up. “Number two, you weren’t counting on me coming along and seeing that a woman like Lucy is not plan B. She’s the one you work your butt off to try to come even close to deserving and still know at the end of the day she’s only with you because you’re lucky. Like it or not, I’m here for Lucy as long as she’ll let me be in her life, so you need to knock it off with the rude comments. As for Levi, you sure as hell better believe I’m going to take care of him.” Cooper’s head tilts slightly to the side after his breathtaking monologue, and he turns remorseful eyes to me. “Uh…sorry about the language, Luce. I’m working on it so it doesn’t slip around Levi so much. I’ll get better.”

A laugh bubbles out of me, closely followed by a few tears I really wish weren’t leaking out of my eyes, because no one has ever stuck up for me in that way. I also find it absurdly endearing that, after all that, Cooper is worried I care about his mild language.

I lean forward and lay a soft kiss on his lips, pulling away only far enough to hover my mouth over his and whisper, “You’re the one who taught him freaking, aren’t you?”

“I’ll never tell,” he whispers back, and I wonder if maybe there’s a supply closet or something he and I can slip away to. It’s fair game, right? We’re still technically just “faking it”.

Brent plops his napkin down on his plate. “Well, this is definitely the weirdest and most awkward dinner I’ve ever had, and it’s safe to say we won’t be working together on rebranding anymore.” I think we all silently acknowledge that he is not defending himself against Cooper’s accusations right now. “Maybe you could have waited to make that speech until after the check came? Could have stormed out on a powerful note and made more of an impact.”

“Nah,” Cooper says, settling back and resting his hand on my knee. “We don’t have anywhere to be.” He looks at me from the corner of his eye, and we speak our secret language again. When we leave this date, the no-touching rule falls back into place. Would it be weird if I sat in his lap in the middle of this restaurant? Yeah…I might still do it anyway.

After our fake fake date, Cooper drops me back off at my house. Neither of us touched the other the entire ride home, each the epitome of decorum. It was complete torture, but I’m willing to go along with it because it’s important to Cooper to prove himself to Drew.

I step into the dark house and immediately find a little leopard blob sunk into the couch, feet propped up on a pillow on the coffee table, a halo of junk food scattered around her body.

“Hi there,” I say, leaning over the back of the couch to make eye contact with Jessie.

Her dark eyes pop up at me from beneath her Snuggie fort. “I ate it all.” Her voice is flat. “Every bit. Like a hundred thousand calories, and I couldn’t stop myself.” Her voice shakes on the last two words, and now I realize she’s not being funny.

I rush around the side of the couch and push through all the wrappers and sharp chip crumbs to snuggle in beside her. She lifts a corner of her Snuggie and lets me inside. It’s warm and cozy, and I think this must be what it feels like to be a cheetah snuggling with its pack.

“There’s nothing wrong with splurging every now and then. You’re pregnant—it’s one of the few perks.”

She sniffles. “That’s the problem. I don’t want to be pregnant. I don’t even know if I want to be a mom.”

I’ve been in Jessie’s exact shoes, and I know how she’s feeling. Which is why I don’t pounce on her statement with fear or try to convince her to take them back with my own placating words. I don’t freak out that she’s going to abandon the child on a firehouse doorstep just because she showed some uncertainty.

I put my hand on her belly because I remember how much I wished someone would sit beside me and love my belly bump—just share in the joy of it. “What else are you feeling?”

Jessie’s eyes shut tight like she’s trying so hard to keep her tears locked inside. “My butt’s getting fat, and I don’t love that.”

“Ugh, it’s the worst. The dimples get real.”

“And I’m getting stretch marks on my boobs.”

“We call those tiger stripes, darling. Get the terminology right.”

Jessie spills out a laugh, and together, we shake on the couch. I feel the baby kick against my hand, and Jessie does too. Her smile dips into a frown. “This wasn’t the plan. When I read the pregnancy test, I was excited. It never crossed my mind I’d have to do it alone at that point.”

“I know. None of us did.” I rub a little circle on her still small baby bump. “But you’re not alone anymore. You have me, and I’ll be there for you like my family was for me.”

“Thank you, Lucy. Thank you for not promising me I’ll find someone someday, or this will all be worth it in the end, or any of that other crap.”

I roll my head to the side to look at Jessie. “I’ve seen too many of life’s twists and turns to make promises of sunshine and butterflies…but I can promise to hold your hand no matter what comes at you next.” She smiles and I add, “Well, that is if I don’t, like, die tomorrow or something.”

She can’t believe I just said that. “I don’t know what to do with you sometimes.”

“People rarely do. Now, did you save me ANY candy?”

“You might be able to find a Skittle wedged under one of my boobs.”

I grimace. “I’m sure that would be a real treat for someone, but it’s just not doing it for me.”

“Fair enough. How did your night go?”

I unzip the side of my dress so my body can breathe and pull my legs up underneath me. My skin pops out like a can of biscuits when you first crack it open and the dough tries to jump out. I’m trying to love my dough just as much as I love biscuits.

“It was one for the books, but here are a few highlights: Cooper is an excellent kisser. He also called Brent out for keeping me as his ‘back-burner option’. Brent did not deny it. And after sitting silent for nearly fifteen minutes, Tanya abruptly broke up with Brent when it finally sank in how much of a butthead her boyfriend is.”

“Ooooh, I love public breakups. Did you film it?”

“No, I couldn’t get my phone out in time.”

“Amateur.”

“AND THEN!”

“There’s more?” I knew Jessie would eat this up.

“Much more. Brent left right after Tanya, but Cooper and I stayed and enjoyed the last bit of our fake date. Then, when we left, Brent was waiting outside for me.”

“NO!”

“YES. He asked to speak with me privately, and of course, Cooper was fine with it because he’s the best. But when Brent got me alone, he said Cooper was right, and he hadn’t realized it, but he had always been keeping me in the back of his mind as the woman he would settle down with when he was ready.”

“Flattering.”

“Exactly. He tried to kiss me, too, but I did that amazing move where you turn your face to the side and he only gets the cheek.”

“Savage!” Jessie is perched up on her knees now, listening intently. I’m happy my trainwreck of a life is giving her joy. I’m so giving.

“I got to tell him that I might have been waiting for him at one point, but not anymore. That I want someone who can see my worth from the start and he’d missed his chance. It would have been such an empowering moment.”

“Would have been?”

“Yeah, at the end of my speech, my decrepit bra gave up its will to live, and the fastener broke, giving these mom boobs the freedom to let themselves out the bottom of the cups like a dam breaking. It was quite the sight. Looked like I had two sets of boobs.”

Jessie’s mouth is wide open now, and she shakes her head, just now realizing I’m no longer wearing a bra. “How?! How do these things happen to you?”

“I’m special.”

Jessie matches my smirk. “Cooper definitely thinks so…is that a hickey?! Weren’t you not allowed to touch outside of the restaurant?”

Now I’m smiling like the Grinch. “Yeah. The restaurant got dinner and a show.”

Jessie and I both laugh, and it feels so good. Good to have a friend. Good to be home late. Good to know I’ll wake up in the morning to my favorite little boy and make pancakes. Everything feels good right now. How did I hold myself back from this for so long? I was trying to force myself into a picture of who I thought I should be, and it was suffocating. Now, I’m here, I’m growing, breathing, and I might not be the exact image of what motherhood should be, but I am full of messy happiness, and that’s enough for me.

Jessie and I end up talking until way too late in the night for her to drive home. She stays over, and when Levi wakes up in the morning and busts into the living room, diving into my arms for my favorite morning snuggle session, Jessie gets to see it all, and I’m glad. This—a picture of what will be—is far more encouraging than any speech I could have given her. She stays for pancakes, and Levi starts calling her Aunt Jessie before breakfast is even on the table.

I disappear for a few minutes to shower, and when I go into my room, I find my phone lit up with a text message on my nightstand.

Cooper: Just thought I’d let you know my pantry is empty.

I frown, wondering if he sent me this by mistake.

I bite down on a smile, thinking the off-limits rule might be a little fun after all.

Lucy: Shoot, would you look at that? I just ran out of milk. I definitely need milk for Levi’s cereal tomorrow. Looks like I have to go to the grocery store later.