“Drew,” I say, resisting the urge to shove Cooper as far away from me as possible. “You’re home early.”
“Yeah. A guy from our team had a family emergency, so the trip got cut short, and we had to fly back early. Then, one of my bags was lost at the airport, so I stopped in to buy more deodorant and toothpaste before going home.” I know that look on his face. He’s processing—unhappily. His eyes shift from me to Levi up on Cooper’s shoulders and then fall down to Cooper, where they land with an angry scowl.
Feeling this surge of protection for Cooper, I hurry to say, “Oh bummer! About your bags, not you coming home early. That’s a good thing! We’ve missed you. Uncle Drew is back, YAY!” From the corner of my eye, I see Cooper mouthing “STOP” and realize I’m rambling. Shoot. Drew will see right through that. “So anyway, Levi and I were just doing some shopping and bumped into Cooper. Funny, right?” Is he buying my fake calm smile? Probably not, but I’m trying to sell it like I’m on QVC. And here we have a lovely new lie in the intriguing shade of blushing! Order now before the truth comes out and everyone’s lives are miserable!
I look up at Cooper, who is also frowning now. Super. We’re the Frowny Bunch.
“Looks a lot like you’re shopping together,” Drew says, only mildly less uncomfortable than he was a moment ago. “Where’s Cooper’s cart?” Who asks a question like that? A skeptical person, that’s who.
Cooper opens his mouth, and I can see honesty all over his sweet face. It’s killing him to lie to Drew about us, and he probably thinks I want him to come clean and put us first. He’d be wrong. I know how much Drew means to Cooper, and I won’t be the reason their relationship is severed. We had a plan to ease Drew into the idea of this relationship, and we’re going to stick to it.
I step forward and pull on my no-big-deal face, giving a lazy wave of my hand. “Oh, he had one at some point, but then Levi wanted to ride on his shoulders, so he ditched it, and we combined our carts. Want to join us? There’s totally room for your stuff to pile in here too!” Okay, take it down a notch, Lucy. No one is this excited about grocery shopping. Someone from this store franchise should be filming me right now and turning it into a commercial, because apparently, I love shopping for groceries more than anything in the world and want everyone to join me.
It works, though, because Drew buys it. He finally closes the gap and steps into our space, and Levi leans forward to jump into his arms. “Hey, buddy! I missed you!”
“I went into the bathroom by myself!” Levi announces at the top of his lungs.
Drew laughs and high-fives him, and while they are distracted, Cooper and I take that moment to give each other a look. My expression says Be cool. His seems to be trying to convey an entire conversation in one intensely lifted eyebrow as his head twitches toward Drew. I think he’s telling me we should come clean.
“NO,” I mouth back. “Not yet.”
He can’t read lips, though. He gives a squinty frown while looking at my lips then shakes his head. “What?”
“So,” Drew says, setting Levi down, making Cooper and me snap our expressions back into easy-breezy-nothing-to-see-here mode. “Are you guys almost done here? Let’s grab a pizza or something to bake when we get home. Coop, you want to come back to the house and hang out for a bit?” Is it just me or does he seem suspicious? Have his eyes always slanted like that?
This feels like a trap.
One Cooper will see from a mile away. No way will he take the bait.
“Sure, sounds good.”
Or maybe he will.
Dinner was not ideal.
Cooper and I stayed on far ends of any room we were occupying at the same time and barely made eye contact. Eight times I had to interrupt Levi so he didn’t accidentally spill the beans about me and Cooper, and no sooner did he finish his last bite than I whisked him out of the kitchen and into the bathroom for a bath. I think I left half of my pizza abandoned, but who cares? (I care. It was delicious, and I will definitely sneak out to the kitchen in the middle of the night to eat the leftovers from the fridge.)
I’m in the middle of pulling Levi’s jammies down over his head when Cooper speaks from the doorway, making me jump six miles in the air. “I’m headed out.”
I clutch my heart and expel a heavy breath like you do when you’ve just narrowly escaped death. “Geez, you scared me.”
His smile is soft as his muscular shoulder leans against the doorframe. He’s wearing his baseball cap facing forward, and it drops shadows on his face, only adding to the romantic vibes he’s putting out.
“Where’s Drew?” I ask.
“In the shower.”
“Oh okay. Well…” This is awkward. I don’t know how to act around him now. “Be safe driving home.”
“I will.” He never breaks eye contact and doesn’t appear to be making any moves to leave. I think we are going to sit here all night, staring at each other and building this tension between us until Levi speaks up.
“Mom, can we read Red Truck tonight?” He’s already all the way across the room, grabbing the book and racing back to me.
“Yeah, let’s read it!” I stand up and move to the rocking chair where I pull Levi into my lap. I take a deep inhalation of his freshly washed hair; I love the way clean children smell like hopes and dreams. Once he’s settled, I look up and realize Cooper is still standing in that same place, arms folded, soft smile tilting the side of his mouth. “I thought you were leaving,” I say softly, suddenly nervous to have an audience for my nightly routine with my son.
“I am.” He nods toward me. “Go ahead.”
I try to tune Cooper out as I read to Levi, but it’s impossible. His presence is as unobtrusive as a bonfire in an enclosed room. I’m aware of his every move, breath, gaze. But something odd happens the longer I read: I settle in and feel comfortable. Levi and I laugh and tease and tickle, and somehow, Cooper being here feels normal.
I think maybe Levi forgot Cooper is still watching until I tuck him in and he says, “Can Coop come say goodnight?”
I chuckle. “Did you just call him Coop?”
Levi nods, and Cooper is already rounding the bed. “Yeah, of course he did. All my best friends call me Coop.” He leans over the bed and brushes some of Levi’s hair out of his face before tucking in the covers all around him like a burrito. How did he know Levi likes that?
“Then why do I call you Cooper?” I ask with a hand on my hip.
He tilts his head to look at me with a sideways grin. “’Cause I’ve never thought of you as just my friend.”
Mmmm, good answer.
Cooper finishes tucking Levi in and telling him goodnight. I give my son one more kiss then turn out the lights. I step out into the hallway, shutting the door to Levi’s room behind me and coming face to chest with Cooper. His eyes are kindling as he stares down at me, and I hate that my first reaction is looking side to side to make sure Drew isn’t around. This isn’t wrong, and I shouldn’t have to hide. I know this; I just don’t know how to go about fixing it.
“Lucy, you are…” He breathes out like he can’t find the words. “I loved watching you put him to bed.” He picks up my hand and presses it to his chest. “Do you feel that? My heart is going mushy. You’re turning me into a sap, and I don’t know what to do about it. It’s weird.”
“I felt the same way when I first held Levi.” I shake my head at the memory. “I was fully prepared to hate him and resent him for ruining my life. But imagine my surprise when, suddenly, my life felt full and wonderful with him in my arms. Kids have this way of making you want to rip your hair out one minute then snuggle them up and never let them go the next.”
Cooper’s smile is soft and nostalgic, thoughtful in a way I haven’t seen from him yet. He pushes some hair from my face. “Do you think you’ll want to have more kids?”
My eyebrows rise, and my heart skips. I can now feel the blood whooshing through my veins. “Umm…yeah. I guess I do. But not alone again. Ideally, I’ll be married next time—to a man who will get me Cheetos when I’m craving them at midnight and help with diaper duty.”
He grins. “You just want a Cheeto runner?”
“Mmhmm.” My eyes drop to Cooper’s mouth, and one side curls up slightly. He lightly brushes his fingers against mine before he leans down and whispers, “I better go before Drew gets out.” His warm lips press into my cheek for only a fraction of a second before he pulls away. “Leave your window open tonight.”
“What? Why?” I ask Cooper’s fantastic retreating back. He looks too good in navy t-shirts.
He shrugs those big shoulders. “Going to be a nice night.”
