As soon as Roman stormed out after kissing me, Asher called. He was freaked out that I’d left the car behind and he hadn’t been able to find me. Jace had taken the phone from me, and after some yelling and growling, he calmed down and stalked into his room, with my phone, slamming the door to talk to Asher in private.
I’d started to remember what had happened the night before, and it made me sick to my stomach that I hadn’t been as careful as I thought. How could I have let my guard down like that? I was almost…raped.
I’d thought I was playing it safe by not drinking. But even completely sober…fuck. I’m so stupid. It can happen anytime. You don’t have to be intoxicated to not notice someone slipping something into your drink. You can be sober, dancing and having a good time.
It hadn’t taken long for Asher to turn up at Jace’s with Walker in tow. As soon as Asher saw me, he hugged me tight to his chest. He told me how sorry he was and that he would take care of me. I hadn’t wanted to talk about it. I was already emotional and confused after a long night and even stranger morning. Mostly, I was grateful nothing worse had happened and those girls clued into what was going on.
Asher gave me my bag, told me that my Dad thought I came home last night, and to lock the doors behind me. I fished my keys out and did just that. I locked the doors, ran upstairs, and took a long, scalding shower.
Knocking at the door woke me from a nap. I was worried who it would be. I wasn’t ready to face the three of them after what happened that morning. But Grady’s face appeared with a huge smile, a bag of popcorn, and chocolates, so I let him in.
“Let’s watch movies…like old times.”
My smile faltered only slightly. I was glad to not be alone with my thoughts, and Grady was safe. I could trust him not to kiss me or make me talk about what had happened with his brother, or more so, with Roman. Because he’d seen that…hell, he saw me in my underwear, too.
But he acted as if it didn’t happen, and I silently thanked him for that.
The movies we use to watch were fairy tales. The movie Grady chose was a different type of fairy tale. There were hot scenes that made me flush with heat, making me acutely aware that Grady sat right beside me. I could hear him breathing deeply, and he shifted slightly, grazing my hand with his. My heart sped up, and I didn’t know it if was good that it was Grady here…or if things just got more complicated.
That had been Saturday. Grady left, and I spent my Sunday overanalyzing everything that had happened with Jace and Roman and the weird tension with Grady.
Monday comes faster than I would have liked, and I still haven’t spoken to any of the guys. I’m not sure if they’re mad at me. Are they talking to me now? Or are they only jerking off and kissing me?
I hate not knowing. It makes my stomach all twisted up.
I don’t know what to expect when I get into Grady’s car and he drives me to school. Did he feel the weird tension between us Saturday? Or am I imagining things? I’m more nervous now than I was when I started at a new school in a whole other state.
I need my own car. I will have to ask Dad if I can get one. Just something cheap to run around in. Hell, if I have to ask Mom, I will. That’s how nervous I am about seeing Grady. I’m willing to call my mom to avoid him.
I hold onto the brass doorknob and release a deep breath. I have this. I’m strong. I’ll walk out there with confidence and get this over with.
The sun hits my face as soon as I step outside, and I smile at the beautiful day. Nothing like sunshine to make you feel cheerful. I put my hand up to block the glare of the sun and look over to where Grady parks his car.
It’s not there.
My stomach drops. He left me.
I walk to the curb and look down the street to see if he might have parked somewhere else. But I know that’s not the case. I’m stalling, trying to figure out what to do. It’s too late to call Sadie and Cadence. It would make them late if they have to come get me now.
I glance at my phone. I have Grady’s number. Maybe I should text him? Ask him if he forgot about me? I turn back to my house and contemplate taking the day off. Dad will be okay if I say I’m sick. He’ll believe me.
“Hey, Mila.”
I spin and see Jace coming toward me. His eyes are squinting from the glare, but he looks happy to see me. He stops at his car, the black SUV, and opens the back door to throw his bag in.
“Hey, ah, have you seen Grady this morning?” I ask.
Seeing Jace for the first time since that…well, the whole jerking off thing has made me very aware of what he’s hiding under those shorts of his. Fuck, will I be this worked up around him from now on? Now that we’ve crossed some strange boundary in our friendship?
If that’s what this is—a friendship? He didn’t like me last week…now, I have no idea.
Jace’s smile is a slow, sly one as his eyes roam up and down my body. I’m very aware of the pink dress I chose to wear today with my white Converse. My pulse picks up under his gaze, and I lick my lips.
He leans against the slick, black metal and nods. “Yeah, Makai called, said he was having car trouble. I told Grady I’ll give you a lift today so he can help his friend.”
Huh, okay. That sounds like a good reason. Unless Grady is avoiding me and lied about his friend’s car trouble. Ugh, I need to stop overthinking this shit. Nothing happened. It’s all in my head.
“Okay.”
I round Jace’s car to the passenger side. When I open the door, he’s chucking clothes and empty water bottles into the back seat, and I raise my brow at him. Jace is a slob. And I thought his room was a mess. This takes the cake.
“You need to clean your car.”
He gives a deep, throaty chuckle. “Been meaning to. Don’t normally have anyone else in here but Roman, so I’m kinda lazy about it.”
I smile at that as I climb in. As soon as his door closes, the scent of his cologne hits me. It’s musky but sweet. Or maybe the musky smell is his car? I hide my smile at that thought.
There’s an awkward silence between us as we drive to school. He doesn’t speak to me, and I nervously chew my nail as I peer out the window. I don’t know if I should bring up what happened in his bedroom. That’s what this awkwardness is, right? He’s trying to ignore it, and I am too.
Or is he upset about Roman kissing me…me kissing him back? Or because I broke their pact again? He didn’t really talk to me after I mentioned that. Asher had called and that was the end of our conversation.
My heart races, and I feel like I’m sweating in his leather seat. The A/C is on, but I can’t cool down. I just want him to bring it up before it blows up in my face today. I need to know what’s going on with us. But he just blares his tunes, tapping on the steering wheel to the beat like this is a normal day. Even if I wanted to talk, he wouldn’t hear me over the music.
In the school parking lot, he cuts the engine but doesn’t move to get out, so I stay where I am. Is he going to mention it now? Why am I being so silly? I should just ask him. I swallow the lump in my throat. The more I think about it, I realize I don’t want to hear him say that nothing’s changed. That we aren’t friends still.
I look down at my palm, the scar there matching one on Jace’s hand. I run my finger over the raised skin.
Jace clears his throat, and I freeze, waiting for the rejection. “Do you remember that day?”
I turn toward him. He holds out his right hand, palm up, showing me his matching scar. That wasn’t what I’d been expecting him to say. But I smile as the tension inside me eases slightly.
“How can I forget? You passed out from the sight of blood.”
Jace chuckles with a huge grin, and my chest swells at the sound. This is what I wanted when I came back here. This smiling and happy Jace, talking about the good times.
“I’ll have you know, I’m okay with blood now. No getting weak in the knees if someone cuts themselves.”
“I’m glad you’re not fainting at the sight of blood anymore.” I reach over and lightly trace his scar with my finger. It’s just like mine. I’ll never forget that day. It’s burned into my memory.
“Mom is taking me away. I hate her. I do. I really hate her, Jace.”
His mom, Ella, is making us sandwiches for lunch. We’ve been playing football in the backyard for ages, and we’re going over to Hunter’s house later. It’s going to be our last time all together. I’m leaving tomorrow on a plane to move away from everyone who means the world to me.
“It will be okay, Mila.” Ella rubs my back as she places the jelly sandwich in front of me. I don’t like peanut butter. “You can still talk all the time. You have a phone now, and we got one for Jace, so he can call you every day. We will miss you, but we’ll all be together again soon. I promise.”
I don’t know how she can promise that. Mom made the rule that I can’t come back to see Dad. I have to live with her forever. Well, until I’m eighteen. Then, I will run back here. But that’s six years away. That’s forever.
“I hate your mom, too, Mila. I wish she would just leave you here. I will take care of you,” Grady says from the other side of the table. His big chocolate eyes look sad.
“Grady Montero, we don’t say we hate people at the dinner table.” Ella tsked at him.
“But it’s true. I hate her. I don’t want you to leave, Mila.”
I’m surprised. Grady hasn’t spoken to me much lately. Not after he said I’m like an annoying sister he doesn’t want. He wants me to stay?
A tear slips from my eye, and I wipe it away. I’ve been doing nothing but crying the last few days. I don’t have enough time to say goodbyes. It’s not fair.
“Come on, you two. Eat up, and I will drive you both over to Hunter’s. I’m picking Roman up on the way, and I don’t want to be late. I told him I would be there at one.”
I look up at the large clock on the wall. We have ten minutes to get Roman. I don’t know how long it takes to get to his house, but he worries if we’re late to get him. He’ll get all moody and worked up if we’re even a minute late, and Ella knows this too.
I get to spend today with my best friends, my boys, and tomorrow with my dad. He’s letting me have this one last day with them, swimming in Hunter’s pool and having a fun time before I have to say goodbye.
We’ve only been swimming for a little while when Hunter’s mom says she needs a nap. She leaves us with homemade lemonade and a plate full of Oreos.
Hunter’s shoulders fall at the mention of her taking a nap. I’d seen enough to know that she likes to drink until she falls asleep, and that’s what she means by taking a nap. I quickly hug Hunter close to me, and he tenses up a little before he gingerly wraps his arms around my back. But he stands funny, with his legs far away from me.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
He nods against my shoulder. “Yeah, I just have a sore back.”
Before I can speak, he turns and runs, jumping into the deep end of the pool. I’d been asking about his mom, but now I’m worried he’s hurt his back. Did I tackle him too hard earlier when we were pretending to be MMA fighters? The guys know I like to use my full strength when we fight, but maybe I was too rough.
Warm arms wrap around my waist from behind and hug me to a warm, bare chest. Roman. I smile to myself. I love when he hugs me like this. It isn’t a friend hug. It’s what I’ve seen couples do, and it gives me butterflies every time.
“I have an idea,” he whispers in my ear.
I spin to look at him over my shoulder, and the gleam in his eyes has me nodding. This is gonna be something good. He holds my hand and calls out to Jace and Hunter to follow us. But not before he grabs his backpack.
We go down to the secret part on Hunter’s property that’s surrounded by trees. There are two chairs and a broken pool lounge that we sit on, but out here is where we do our secret things. Like when Jace lit firecrackers he stole from his dad. Or Hunter stole the big sugar bowl from his kitchen, and we ate it with our hands until our tummies hurt.
We wanted a treehouse here, but Hunter’s dad said no. That we aren’t babies anymore. You don’t have to be a baby to have a treehouse. It’s for everyone to have fun. We didn’t like Hunter’s dad after that. Maybe that’s why Hunter’s mom always drinks and sleeps. So she doesn’t have to listen to him being mean.
Roman dumps his bag into the dirt and turns to look at the three of us who stand around him, waiting to see why he brought us out here. I’m hoping he has fireworks, but I’ll keep that thought to myself.
“I want us to make a blood pact.” Roman smiles wildly.
I…what? I look at Jace and Hunter, then back to Roman who is nodding at me.
“What?” Hunter asks, and Roman’s brows furrow like he doesn’t understand the question.
“What’s a blood pact?” I ask as Roman pulls out a pocketknife from his bag.
Jace takes a step back and shakes his head. “No, you’re not gonna cut me with that.” He holds his hands up, and he looks scared.
Why would Roman cut him? Oh…that’s how he gets the blood.
Roman flicks it out, and the silver of the blade shines in the filtered sunlight coming through the tree canopy above. “It’s sharp, I made sure,” he says as he turns it over in his hand.
Where the hell did Roman get that? Did he steal it from his dad, or is it his?
Roman looks over to me and smiles as he shows me the blade. I lean in and touch it.
“A blood pact is when you cut your hand and the other person does too. And you press the cuts together. You make a pact in blood. It’s for life. I want us to be best friends for life,” Roman explains to me and Hunter. Jace must already know what it is.
I glance at Jace, and he keeps shaking his head.
I look down at my hand. Roman wants to cut me? That will hurt, wont it? It won’t hurt more than me leaving, though. And I don’t want to lose my best friends. I want them for life. If this pact makes it for life, then I want that.
I step forward and hold out my hand to Roman.
“Mila, no. Don’t. It’s gonna hurt.”
I turn back to a very scared Jace and frown. “Not as much as losing you forever. I want us to be best friends for life.”
Roman grunts and I see blood dripping from the palm of his right hand. He’s left-handed. I don’t think about that until now. The rest of us are right-handed. I look down at my own hands as he takes my right one in his. His blood is warm and slippery on mine, but I don’t care. He is my best friend; I will love him forever.
“Are you sure?” he whispers, and I realize I’m clenching my teeth as my whole body stands tense. I peer into his blue eyes. I can see the love he has for me there. He wants this…needs this as much as me.
I nod. “Just do it fast?”
I close my eyes as I feel the metal slice into my skin, and the pain is like a flash of heat, over within a second. Red starts to pour out from around where he sliced. It’s shallow, not deep. But it will leave a scar. I feel Hunter brush my shoulder as he stands beside me.
“Best friends for life.” He looks at me as he holds his right palm out to Roman.
I watch this time, looking down at his hand. Roman’s knife is sharp. It slices through Hunter’s skin with ease. It’s a strange sight, seeing someone cut another. Roman is so good at this, it worries me he has done it before. Not a blood pact…but cut something.
Once Hunter’s hand is done, we all turn to Jace, whose face is pale. He holds his hand over his mouth like he’s about to be sick.
“Are you okay, Jace?” I’m worried he’s going to fall over. He doesn’t look well.
“Does blood make you queasy?” Roman asks, cocking his head to the side as he tries to read Jace. Roman approaches, and Jace’s eyes widen at the blood dripping down Roman’s wrist now, then to the knife in his left hand.
“No,” Jace replies, but it comes out soft, like a whisper, as his knees waver.
Holy crap, Jace doesn’t like the sight of blood. I grow concerned that if he doesn’t join the blood pact, he won’t be best friends for life with us, and I would hate that. He needs to do it.
“Just look away,” I tell him. I didn’t look, and it doesn’t hurt. It just stings a little.
“No, no, I can’t. Please, I think I’m gonna be sick.”
Roman stops and watches Jace. He doesn’t say anything; he just waits and watches him. He lets Jace catch his breath.
We are all silent as the color returns to Jace’s face. He closes his eyes and holds out his right palm to Roman. His knees tremble, and I feel sick. He doesn’t want to do it. I don’t want him to do it if he doesn’t want to. He can still be part of the blood pact without cutting. We will make sure.
“Do it, quick, before I change my mind.”
And with the swift slice of the blade, Roman cuts the palm of Jace’s hand, and Jace lets out a small, painful cry that stabs me right in my heart. A tear rolls down my cheek as my best friend holds his hand to his chest and lets out a strangled sob. He is the smallest of us all, and I sometimes forget that.
We all crowd around Jace and press our cuts to each other’s. I press mine into Jace’s while Roman and Hunter do the same. Then we switch until we all have shared blood. Jace doesn’t open his eyes at all while we do this. I ignore the tears rolling down his face for now. I will hug him and fix his hand up when we are done.
“Blood friends for life,” Roman cheers, and I smile up at him and repeat it. The other two do too, but I can’t keep my eyes from Roman. This is more than friendship. This is family. We are a family.
I hear a loud gasp, and I break my gaze from Roman to see Jace. He’s looking down at our hands. The bleeding has slowed, but there’s a lot of blood. Jace’s eyes land on mine, and his face turns to ash as his eyes roll into his head. My heart stops.
“Jace,” we all call out as we try to catch him before he drops to the ground.
The memory makes my chest heavy. Our lives were perfect before I left and fucked everything up. I look into Jace’s eyes, not expecting to see the same sadness I feel inside.
“Blood friends for life,” Jace says.
