Aelin
On Saturday morning, my cell rings with Cara’s ringtone. Fighting against sleepiness, I keep my head under my pillow as I reach for my phone. “Hello?”
“Angel? I know I’m waking you up, but I have great news.”
I jolt upright and clear my throat. “I love great news.”
My sister’s voice is high with excitement. “I’ll be home in five months instead of the nine scheduled. I’ve been invited to Vietnam and Cambodia for a deep dive into colonial influence in Asian cuisine. I’m so excited. Only two students were invited and I—”
I scream while Cara laughs.
God, I love my sister.
A car honks in the background and I press my cell up against my ear. “Angel, I have to go but I just wanted to tell you in person…ish. My connection might be a little jagged when I’m there, but I’ll contact you as often as I can.”
I lean further into my phone. “When are you leaving?”
“We have to be at the airport in… Shit, I need to pack. Love you, angel. Bye.”
“Bye,” I whisper to the beeping tone.
I stare at my phone while my stomach tightens. I’ll tell her about Gabe when she comes home.In five months.I smile, check my alarm, and lie back down. There’re another three hours before I have to wake up. I shut my eyes and dream of Gabe.
****
“I knew it. I knew you’d get it!”
It’s barely 9:00 AM. After Em and I opened the office, she received the call. She’s been accepted to very sought-after course in software-coding design located in New York. Standing by my desk, the sun is gracefully lighting up our happy moment while I hug Emma whose big grin splits her flushed face.
We clap and hug and cheer some more. I squeeze her hand. “So, tell—”
“Good news?”
We both freeze—I jump, Emma squeals—and whip our heads to Gabe who stands in the reception area. His broad shoulders are encased in a perfectly cut charcoal suit and pearl grey shirt opened at the collar, and the space bends around him to accommodate his majestic stature
My heart, already happy, bursts at the sight of him, and I beam as I near him stopping close enough for the warmth of his body to graze mine.
“Yes, excellent news. Gabe, hi.”
When Em steps by my side and clears her throat, heat flushes my face.
“Gabe, this is my one-woman team, and my best friend Emma. Em, this is Gabe Matthews, the owner of Holloway House.”And sexiest lover in the whole wide world.
Gabe extends his open hand, and his voice rumbles. “Pleased to meet you.”
I smile at Em’s rounded eyes and parted lips as she stares up at Gabe.
“Same,” Emma replies. She clasps her hands in front of her. “I feel like a coffee. Anyone for coffee?”
When Gabe and I shake our heads, she strides toward the kitchen. Halfway past the door, she turns and mouths.‘Oh, my God.’
Left alone with Gabe, my heartbeat quickens. I’ve missed him but I canfeelthe tension coming off him, so I keep still. “Hi.”
His gaze roams slowly over my office.
What are you thinking about? “You like it?”
He sets his black eyes on me, and his voice caresses my skin. “I do.”
Dear God, all it takes is one look and I’m ready to roll over for him. Roll under him.
“Is it about Holloway?”
He does his dimple-winking, lopsided smile, and I hold my breath. “No, it’s PR. Our publicist will get in touch with you, but I wanted to tell you in person thatElle décormagazine wants to do an article on Holloway, and I asked that they get in touch with you since it was your vision. Is it something you’d consider?”
I gape at him.Consider? You just blew up my highest dream into the stratosphere and you want to know if I need to think about it?
“I would love to. Do you know the angle they’re going for?”
His eyes set on my mouth and my skin tingles all over. “Ann will forward you the brief.”
God, I want to kiss him.“Thank you, Gabe.”
His eyes both soften and burn as he brushes the back of his fingers on my cheek. “You deserve it. Your work is excellent.”
Melting under his praise, I lean into his touch, but shift back when Emma comes back to her desk at the same time the phone rings.
Gabe locks his eyes onto mine. “Is there somewhere we can talk privately?”
My bedroom?I sigh, Gabe’s expression is … troubled. “Sure, come with me.”
I lead him to the back of the house to my studio—my small haven—wedged between the two houses and adjacent to our garage. The room is bathed in natural light splashing through the glass ceiling and wide windows to receive maximum luminosity. In the center, my designs are spread all over the huge sketch table John custom built for me.
After closing the door behind us, I rest my back on the door with both hands curved around the handle while Gabe steps to the middle of the room. I shiver at his expression.
“Come here.”
My heartbeat quickens as I stare at his extended hand.
“Aelin, baby, come here.”
I walk straight into his arms where he wraps me tight and curl my arms around his shoulders. “Gabe.”
He curves his hand around my nape. “You have to stop saying my name like that.”
I can’t help it. When you touch me, my heart explodes.I touch the tip of my tongue to his bottom lip and moan when he crushes me against him to take my mouth in a deep kiss.
After a few minutes, with my heart beating out of my chest, I pull back to catch my breath and frown. His jaw is clenched tight.Is he angry?
“Gabe—”
His thumb brushes my cheek. “Come away with me for a few days.”
Yes.“When?” Please don’t say this weekend. Please…
He rubs his nose against mine. “Friday.”
I close my eyes and rest my forehead on his chest before raising my eyes to his.
“I can’t. Not this weekend, I have plans tomorrow. Then I’m going out of town and will be back on Tuesday. Can we do this when I come back?”Please?
When his hold on me tightens, the angry expression carves deeper into his features. I dislodge my arm, trapped between us, to cup his cheek.
“Gabe, what—?”
He kisses me again, and underneath the ferocity of his kiss, I feel his anger, his need, and something else I can’t name, so I open my mouth wider, press closer, and let him take whatever will quiet his tumult. When the kiss ends, I’m a little dazed.
“Gabe…”
He yanks himself from me, and in three strides he’s at the door. “Ga—” The door slams behind him rattling the windows.
What’s wrong?
I drop in my drawing chair and shut my eyes. I don’t get it. Sometimes he acts like I’m the most precious thing in the world, and others…Why would he be angry?
Since that first night, we rarely go out and we meet exclusively at his place, mainly because our kiss hello always catches fire, and within seconds we’re naked. Also, between the long hours I put into finishing Holloway and Gabe’s frequent traveling, the penthouse has become the cocoon we need to collide into each other.
But we’ve never spent a whole night together. Even after mind blowing sex, he’d leave the bed when I’m about to drift away. The rare times I’ve fallen asleep for more than a couple of hours, I’d wake up and find him in his office or in his living room working. We’d have more brain melting sex before he’d ask his driver to get me home.
The first time it happened, I got home and went straight to the shower where I scrubbed my skin nearly raw. Then I cried because in that moment I knew that I couldn’t tell him about me.
And it stopped being necessary since the sex was so good—for him as well—and I know this because he tells me. His voice gets all growly, and his eyes burn into mine, and his breath catches mine while he’s moving slow inside me. And … I groan, shake off the full body shiver that swallows me whole.All right, enough of this.I spring on my feet to make my way back to my office.
When I walk in, Emma grins from behind her desk and looks behind me. “Where’s Gabe?”
Who knows? He just took his sexy and complicated self somewhere else.
I gesture my hand in the direction of the bay window while I settle at my desk and stare at the swirly graphics on the screen of my laptop. I push on my knees and lurch toward my drawing table where I try to memorize every grain of the blank canvas. The faint tapping of Em’s fingers on her keyboard stops.
“Ael, the man is the definition of male. Capital ‘m.’”
And then some.I make an I-agree humming sound but keep my back to her while my throat tightens.There’s a brief silencebefore my friend touches the middle of my back.
“What’s wrong?”
Unable to talk about what I, myself don’t understand, I shake my head and let her pull me to the sofa on the other side of the office where I grab a cushion I press against my stomach.
“I don’t understand him, Em.”
She leans closer. “What happened?”
I don’t know. I hook my leg on the sofa to face her. “He wants me to go away with him this weekend and when I told him I couldn’t he kisses the hell out of me and … walks away.”
Emma brushes her fingers on my hand. “Did you tell him where you were going?”
When I shake my head, she exhales slowly. “Are you going to tell him?”
No, I don’t want him to look at me like that.I bite my lip. “No, it’ll change things and I don’t want that.”
When she loops her arm around me, I bury my head in the crook of her shoulder.
“Maybe it won’t,” she murmurs against my hair.
I sit up to look at her. “It will. It always does, and I like that he treats me like a real woman.” When she frowns, I wrap her hand in mine. “When … when he touches me, he’s careful and gentle but he’s also forceful and … commanding.” Heat floods my face. “In a sexy way. And if he knew, he wouldn’t be.”
Em grins. “Commanding huh? Tell me more.”
I groan and roll my eyes, but I can’t help my smile. “You know what I mean.”
After a throaty giggle, Emma’s blonde curls tilt to the side.
“Actually, looking at you, I’m not sure I do. Babe, you’re vibrating just talking about him.” She leans in until we’re nose to nose. “And no man has ever looked at me like he’d die if he didn’t fuck me.”
I laugh with her, but when her expression sobers, I take a deep breath. “Have you told Cara?”
Sitting back, I chew on my bottom lip. “No, I asked Chris not to tell her. Did you know she wanted to refuse the Chefs of the World tour because she worried about me?” I don’t wait for Emma’s reply. “Em, C.O.W. has been her dream since she’s finished school. This is the only thing she ever truly wanted. That and her own restaurant. So, I’m not going to tell her anything that’ll have her running here. She’s given up enough for me, and I can handle it. I feel good. Cara’s happy, I’ll be fine.”
Emma being Emma, she nods as her shoulder hits the smooth velvet of the sofa. “Let me come with you, then. I can—”
I reach for her hand and squeeze. “No, you need to organize your move to New York. I’ll be fine, sweetheart. Chris will be with me. He has been since the beginning, and hopefully this will be the end of it and the last time I’ll have to see them. I have to see the end of this and stop my father for good.”
When she shakes her head, I tug on her hand. “I’ll be fine.” I bring the back of her hand to my lips. “And if I’m not, I’ll come running for a hug.”
My best friend makes a sound between a hum and a growl. “And wine.”
I laugh. “And cheese.”
Her grin turns mischievous. “And you can always let Gabe fuck your brains out.”
I open my eyes wide and gasp. “What? But I’m a lady.”
“Yep. A lady who fucks.”
Yes, that I am, now.I grin at my best friend.
It’s Wednesday, so Em and I close the office and go to the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine, cheese, and bread. We do this every week and have only one rule—no talk about work. Well, at least for the first hour.
After we kick off our heels in the hallway, Em plugs her playlist into the sound system and opens the window facing the street to let in the cool breeze and the din of the residents coming home.
I wriggle my bare toes on the shaggy burgundy carpet and groan.
Em, whose legs are folded under her, takes a mouthful of wine, and turns to me. “Are you still on for taking Sam tomorrow?”
“Of course. I’ll never miss a day with my goddaughter.”
When she dips her head and chews on the inside of her bottom lip, my chest tightens, and I sit up. “Was Tony supposed to take her tomorrow?”
She twirls her finger through a loop of her hair and her mouth curves down. “Yeah, I don’t get what’s so hard about spending time with his daughter once in a while.”
It’s not. It’s just that some men should be barred from fatherhood.
“It’s not, Em. Does he at least give you money for her?”
She scoffs, but her eyes are sad. “No, three weeks ago he asked the judge to lower the amount of child support by half because he lost his job again. It was denied, so he just disappeared. I don’t need to see him, but I thought he’d try… for Sam.”
I hug her. I’ve never liked Tony for her. Or for anyone else for that matter.
Five years ago, the day Emma introduced Cara and I to him, he hit on me. I was so shocked I convinced myself I somehow made it up.
They’d been dating for less than a year and when he cornered me and tried to kiss me, I told Cara, who wanted to punch him. When I told Em, I was terrified she wouldn’t believe me or simply choose him over me.
She confronted him that day and kicked him out of her apartment where he had kind of moved in. A week later, she found out she was pregnant with Sam and when she decided to keep the baby, Cara and I self-proclaimed that we’d be the child’s godmothers. And we’re absolutely smitten with Sam.
When she sniffles, I hold her tight “I wanted her to have a dad, someone who would love her almost as much as I love her, someone who could show her that men aren’t the monsters we had in our lives,” she whispers.
I cup her pretty face. “Em, Tony’s her father, but he’s not the only man who can be her dad. You’ll find someone as strong and as loving as you. Someone who’ll deserve both of you.”
The small noise she makes breaks my heart, so I hold her tighter.
“You think so?”
I’m absolutely sure they will.“Yes,” I whisper.
****
I hop out of bed at 6:00 AM, childproof my studio and the house while butchering Billie Eilish’s‘Bad Guy’on repeat in my earbuds. I set up her sketch table in my studio and check the fridge. Everything’s ready.
At 10:00 AM, I yank my front door open on Sam and Em. My favorite little girl and I squeal before she jumps in my arms, and I cover her adorable face with kisses. Emma grins and shakes her head before she curls her finger under her daughter’s chin.
“Am I invited or is it a private party?”
Sam giggles and her fine blonde curls tickle my nose when wraps her arms around my neck.
I fit her higher on my slanted hip and turn my gaze to her blue one. “What do you think Sammy? Should we say bye to Mommy now and start our magical day?”
Sam nods vigorously as I wink at Emma who hands me a bag and Sam’s car seat. She steps back, her hand on the iron rail.
“Mindy will pick her up around 8:00 tonight. I won’t see you before your trip, but we’ll talk after.”
“All right. Enjoy your day off.” I walk back inside with my warm little bundle.
My time with Sam consists of a lot of giggles, tons of cuddles, and a tremendous amount of running. We go to the park after lunch, and after a couple of hours of slides, sand, mud, and sugar, we go home where I give her a bath before some quiet time.
Her little hand in mine, we make our way to my studio. Sam toddles toward her set up table I piled with new coloring books and a shiny, violent pink metallic box of pencils.
“Ooh!” she coos as she wriggles her way into her chair which is an exact replica of mine I asked John to make for her birthday last year.
I kneel next to her and brush her hair out of her lashes. “What do you want to draw today, Sammy?”
She blinks, taps her forefinger on her chin and I chuckle—Emma does this all the time. “Fish and apples!”
I sit back on my haunches and nod. “That’s a great idea. Let’s draw them together.”
Curling my body behind hers, I place my hand on hers around the pencil to trace a fish and two apples.
I touch my cheek to hers. “Is this good enough?”
“Yah.”
When she’s settled, I sit at my sketch table and listen to the soothing babble of Sam’s voice telling me about her life.
A sharp rap on the door breaks into our little world, and I whip my eyes up. My heartbeat speeds up while my belly clenches. It’s Gabe.
I leap to open the door and gasp when he grips the back of my neck to plant a very wet,
very explicit kiss on my mouth.Oh… God.
Out of breath, and with my whole-body tingling, I pull back from the torrid kiss and smile.
“Hi.”
His hair is mussed up as if he’s been raking his fingers through it several times, and the sleepy sun casts an amber glow behind him making him look like a dark angel. My impossibly sexy lover’s hands descend to my hip to plaster me tight against him and bends his head down.
Stepping back, I take his hand to pull him past the threshold and chuckle at his expression when he sees Sam. “Gabe, this is Samantha.”
When she hears her name, Sam gets to her feet, crabs walk to me while she inspects Gabe and curls her arms around my thigh. I scoop her up and straddle her on my cocked hip.
“Sammy, this is Gabe. Do you want to say hello?”
Samantha mumbles a shy hello in my neck as Gabe watches me with the same impenetrable expression he had yesterday.I’m not sure what this is, but I don’t like it.
I hold Sammy a little closer and peck her cheek before I grin at Gabe. “Let’s go to the house. It’s nearly dinner time.”
We reach the living room where I set Sam at her activity table next to the couch and place her once-white teddy bear on the small chair next to hers.
“Lalin, I want to watch Dora.”
I hand the remote to my little princess. “You do it.”
After she does, I plant a soft kiss on her hair and pull Gabe to the kitchen where he stands a step away from the doorjamb with his hands in his pockets. In black jeans and t-shirt, he’s the personification of sex on legs, but his expression is… I don’t know.
I touch his cheek. “Gabe, what’s wrong?”
In response, he pulls me up tight against him and buries his face in my neck. I curl my arms around him and my heart stumbles. There’s so much tension in his body.
He straightens up. “I shouldn’t be here.”
When he steps back, I grip his arm. “Gabe?” He bores his eyes into mine, and I frown while my heart races. “Talk to me.”
His muscles bunch under my palm, so I curl my fingers on the waistband of his jeans and roll on my toes.
I kiss his clenched jaw, graze my lips on his stubbly chin, and rub my nose against his before nipping at his bottom lip. When his big hands plaster my hips against his, I loop my arms around his neck and touch the tip of my tongue to his upper lip. “Gabe.”
Gabe takes my mouth in a deep, wet, breath-stealing kiss before he touches his forehead to mine. His lips twitch. No dimple, but I’ll take it.
“What’s for dinner?”
Grinning, I peck his lips. “Mac and cheese. What else?”
He settles on the stool, and while I prepare dinner, I tell him about my day, ask about his until we fall into a somehow easy conversation, and his shoulders relax as he sets his elbows on the cream marble.
After stirring, I slide the pasta in the oven when Gabe asks, “Who’s the little girl?”
I grin as I face him. “Sam’s Emma’s daughter and Cara’s and my goddaughter.”
“Lalin!”
In seconds, Gabe and I are in the living room. I crouch next to Sam who’s holding her teddy bear against her. “What’s up, munchkin?”
She points at the TV. “Dora’s gone.”
I look at the black screen and punch every single button on the remote. When nothing happens, I check the plug behind the screen and blow out a breath.
Gabe who’s been standing in between the doorjamb, edges close and extends his hand.
“Let me try.”
I nod, happy to slap the evil little remote in his palm. “Thank you.” I kneel before the toy table. “Sammy, Gabe’s going to try to fix it, okay?”
She replies with her eyes on her coloring book. “Okay.”
After mouthing a thank you to Gabe, I hurry to the kitchen to make a salad and grilled chicken to complement the pasta, set up the table, and go back to the lounge where I find Gabe sitting on the floor listening to Sam talking about Dora’s friends with a working TV screen in the background.
He’s good with children.Melting a little—a lot—I clear my throat. “Dinner’s ready.”
Sam takes my hand and turns toward Gabe. “Come on, dinner’s ready.”
At the table, seated between Gabe and me, Sam questions Gabe about his favorite cartoons, when he says he doesn’t have one, she scowls—adorably so—and shakes her head. She asks about his job as a repair TV guy, and Gabe’s answers make Sam giggle and me chuckle.
After dinner, I plant a quick, hot kiss on Gabe’s mouth before I get Sam in her pjs and read her a story until her lids get heavy.
When I come back to the living room, Gabe’s in the lounge facing the window with his hands in the pockets of his jeans.What happened?Even from behind, he exudes power. I enfold his waist from behind and rest my cheek on his back. Making a sound that vibrates from his body into mine, he unhooks my arms to pull me in front of him before mashing me against him.
I sigh and my chest tightens at his tormented expression. I cup his face,
trying to understand what he won’t tell. “Gabe—”
He swears and kisses me so deeply for so long, I whimper, dazed and breathless when the kiss ends. “Gabe—”
“Don’t.”
He clasps my nape to press a bruising kiss on my open mouth, steps back, and leaves. The slam of the door makes me jump.Why does he keep doing that?
Back in the living room, I clear up Sam’s things, and curl up on the sofa, staring blindly at the TV.
A little bit after 10:00, Mindy collects a sleeping Sam I secure in her car seat before waving them off. As I twist toward the front door, I spot a parked car across the street I swear I’ve seen before. I rub my arms and hurry up the stairs before locking the door behind me.
****
At exactly 6:08 AM, after tossing and turning all night, I climb into Chris’s truck and turn to him. He’s slimmer than the last time we met, and he thankfully let his hair grow past the buzzcut, but his grey eyes are still the kindest I’ve ever encountered. I peck his cheek.
“Hi, Chris.”
He dips his goateed chin and squeezes my hand. “Ready?”
No, but I have to do this. I nod and take a deep breath. “Yes. let’s go.”
