Gabe
My brother rakes his fingers through his hair while he’s burning a trail in front of the fireplace of my house.
After I told him what happened between Aelin and me and briefed him on the sisters’ story, I braced himself for the punch that never came. But I’ll never forget the anguish in his expression when Aelin’s sister slammed the door of my office.
It’s been a little more than a week since I’ve seen the almost twins who looked at me like I was the devil himself. Now, settled beside Cal who’s slouching on the leather sectional, with my feet on the coffee table, I hang my head low as Mike stands across from me with his arms crossed over his chest.
“And you didn’t know any of this when you met her?”
I set my tumbler of whisky on the glass table.
“No.”
I didn’t know I’d remind her of the motherfucking piece of shit that raped her or that she would nearly die when she lost my child. I didn’t know I was the first man she let touch her. That when she smiled at me, she was only seeing me.
When my brother narrows his eyes, I get to my feet. My chest is heaving and my temples throb as I step to him. “For the last time, I didn’t know any of that.”
Michael leans in. “But that didn’t stop you from sleeping with the woman you thought was mine. Is it some kinky shit you have going on? You fuck the wom—”
I grab his t-shirt. “Don’t fucking say it.”
My brother’s brows shoot up, and he nods slowly as a smirk lifts his mouth. “I see.”
After releasing him, I shift back, but Mike’s hand lands on my shoulder.
“I love you, man, and I can’t say that if you’d slept with Cara, I’d have been so calm.”
That’s your idea of calm?
I roll my shoulder back, but my baby brother clasps his other hand on my nape and bores his blue eyes into mine. “But this whole … attitude you have toward women—”
I jolt back, but he hangs onto my neck. “They’re not all like Vanessa. Cara and Aelin certainly aren’t.”
“Amen to that,” Cal mumbles before he cheers us with his beer. When the doorbell rings, he jumps to his feet. “Bout’ time, I’m starving.”
****
After polishing off the ribs and wings, we trail to the kitchen where Cal and Mike sit side by side at the counter while I grab more beers from the fridge I set before them.
Mike sits up and zeroes his eyes on me.What now?I lean my back against the fridge and wait.
“How the fuck did you get Aelin pregnant?”
I clench my fist around the cool bottle. But Cal says. “Aww. Little Mikey doesn’t know.” He slaps his hand on my brother’s shoulder. “So, when two people love each other—”
Mike grunts. “Don’t be an ass.” He turns his narrowed gaze back to me. “We did have the talk when I was thirteen, and I remember the verbal sledgehammer you gave me about how a rubber is all about protecting your partner.”
She needed me to protect her.My chest tightens while heat crawls up my neck.
Cal studies me and Michael pushes. “The rubber broke, right?”
“No.” I needed to be inside her more than my next breath.“I forgot.”
My brother’s brows rise to his hairline before he nods slowly. “I see.”
I’m not going to ask about that new shit he’s got going on with the damn nods and the ‘I see’.
I step toward the living room.
“Last question. What made you think Aelin was my woman?”
“For fuck’s sake Michael—”
“No, serious question. I know they look like each other, but you hadn’t met Cara, so why Aelin?”
When I turn to him, there’s only curiosity on his expression.If we’re going to do this.“Here, I’ll show you.”
They follow me as I get my wallet from the console next to the panoramic size TV, pull out the old picture, and hand it to Mike before settling on the sectional. Cal sits beside me while my brother pores over the picture.
When my sibling frowns and shakes his head, I say, “At the hospital, you had this in your hand and would thrash like mad if anyone tried to take it from you. When you woke up, I asked you about it, you said, ‘She left me. All because of money.’ Do you remember what you said when I asked you who she was?”
Mike shakes his head.
“You said, she’s the beautiful one.’”
Mike exhales sharply, sits on my other side, his eyes glued on the yellowed polaroid. “This is Aelin’s eighteenth birthday party.” He hands me back the picture. “Gabe, look at the picture, I’m holding Aelin, but it’s Cara’s hand in mine.”
“Fuck.” I rake my hand through my hair and sit up. Only now I see it. Cara’s behind the bar her face is half hidden by her hair, but eyes are on my brother. But all I saw is Aelin, smiling wide with her hands wrapped around Michael’s waist.All I’ve ever seen is her.
When I slide the picture back in my wallet, Cal chuckles silently.
Something bothers me, so I turn to Mike. “What did you mean by ‘because of money?’”
Mike’s elbows hit his thighs and his jaw clenches. “That day, Cara told me she loved me and wanted me there with them.” A few weeks after the party, Aelin got her scholarship, and they were planning to move, so I asked Cara to move in with me and told her I had enough money to take care of her and her sister.” He sighs heavy and continues. “She said no. She just wanted me but didn’t want my money, and that Aelin and she didn’t need a Prince Charming or a savior.” He scoffs low. “We got into a fight, and she didn’t back down. I needed to cool off, so I left for a few days, and when I came back to apologize for being a dickhead, they were gone. And then that truck happened.”
I shut my eyes. “I was wrong about everything.”
Cal’s cell vibrates. “G, I have the recording.”
Mike’s gaze whips to Cal’s with a frown. “What recording?”
My friend places his cell on the mahogany and glass coffee table. “G asked me to find the 911 recording from that night.”
Mike grunts. “The night she lost the baby? Jesus, Gabe, don’t you know enough about Aelin?”
I don’t.“I’ve hurt her, Mike. I’ve hurt her bad because I thought I knew when I didn’t know shit. I need to know what she’ll never tell me, so I don’t cause her any more pain. Ever again.”
“Ready?” Cal asks.
We nod and Cal presses play after augmenting the volume on his cell.
‘911, what’s your emergency? Allo? Are you in need of assistance? Anyone there?
“Hel…hello, I’m bleeding pretty bad… I think… Something’s wrong with my bab…baby.”
“Where are you? Ma’am what’s your name?”
“My name is…aaaaaaaaaaah. My name’s Aelin Thor…Thorne and I live at 656 Pillsbury Road… I…I…”
“Ma’am? Ma’am, stay on the line the paramedics are on the way. They’re four minutes away. Aelin? Aelin if you can hear me, hold on. Okay?”
“My baby… save my baby… please…”
“How far along are you?… Aelin? Is there someone with you? Aelin?”
She’s crying. And her voice already weak is barely a whisper.“No… No-one…My baby … eleven weeks … and one day … just need s-six days… pl-plea—”
Silence. Heavy, falls on the line. I shut my eyes while pain fills my chest, and my eyes burn.
“Dispatch, neighbor let us in, we’ve got her. Female, mid- twenties with extensive vaginal bleeding. Pulse is weak. What’s her name?”
“Aelin.”
“Aelin, Aelin, talk to me. There you are, keep your eyes open for me Aelin. Good, good.”
“My baby…
“Let’s take care of you, Aelin.”
“No… my baby … Nareen … Dr. Nareen Ahmed.”
“Dispatch we’re bringing her in. St Mary’s is closer, please contact her doctor, name
Nareen Ahmed.”
“James, I’ve lost her pulse.”
“Shit. She’s crashing. Prep the defib. Charging… Clear.”
At the muted whirring of the defibrillator, I slam my glass on the table.
“Charging… Clear. Okay we’ve got her back. Aelin, hang on for me…”
“Turn it off. Cal, turn it off.”
My brother wraps his arm around my shoulders. “Gabe, she’s okay now. You saw her. She’s okay.”
I stride out of the room.
****
The next morning, Mike’s heavy steps grate on the white tiles of the kitchen. Grunting low, he lifts his narrowed eyes to Cal and me.
Cal cheers him with his mug and scoffs. “Okay there, junior?”
Swallowing the last of my omelet, I thank the chef before twisting toward my brother.
“Amateur.”
Mike snarls and groans before dropping his frame on a stool next to us. “We downed three bottles last night, how are you so damn chirpy?”
“Big dicks,” Cal and I reply at the same time while Michelle chuckles.
She slides a mug of coffee before Mike before her face flushes when he winks at her.
When my cell pings, I exhale sharply. Aelin.She wants to talk.I type fast and get on my feet. “Aelin’s available and coming to the penthouse in an hour.”
Mike sits up and frowns. “She would be.”
I whip my eyes to Mike’s. “What?”
“Fuck,” Cal mutters.
Mike swivels on his stool to face me “Her business website’s been down for at least two months…”
Tension locks my neck.She’s still leaving.
Michael shakes his head. “Come on, Gabe. What did you think would happen? You made her sign a contract to kick her out of her home after she redid Mom’s house. I bet people already know she’s persona non grata in your fucking fishbowl universe. You think anyone will hire her?”
Fuck.“I’ll fix it.”
As I stride to the door, Mike calls out.
“Wait, I’m coming with.”
I wheel back to my brother who stands by the counter. “No, you’re not.”
Mike narrows his eyes and crosses his arms on his chest. “Gabe, Cara probably told her she saw me, and I haven’t seen her in a decade, I’ll just say hi and make sure she knows I didn’t do any of the bulldozing that wrecked her life.”
No, that’s on me, and I’ll fix it. “Fine, hurry up.” I chin-lift Cal. “You’re staying?”
Cal raises his cup of coffee. “I’ll see you when I’m back in town.”
Exactly fifty-four minutes later, Mike and I walk in the penthouse’s office.
Twenty-two minutes later, after glancing at the digital clock facing my desk, I pace to the bay window while Mike settles on the sofa in the west corner of the airy room, scrolling through his phone.
I can’t blame her for never wanting to be in the same room as me. I took everything she gave me. Her shy smiles, her throaty laughter. A part of me knew she wasn’t pretending but I slammed that down. I was so intent on revenge, I didn’t stop to appreciate the abandon with which she gave herself, her moans, her sighs. The way she wrapped herself around me before she fell asleep. I rub my eyes.Fuck.I sound like a damn romance novel.
When there’s a knock on the door, we both snap our heads up to my assistant, Erica.
“Gabe, Aelin Thorne was here. I arranged for her to come back next Thursday at 10:00, and—”
In seconds, I tower over Erica who steps back with her eyes wide. “Where is she?”
My assistant pales. “Sh-she just left and—”
No.I yank the door open just as she pushes the button of the elevator. “Aelin.”
Her hair swings over her back as she turns to me, and a slight frown crosses her shuttered expression. As I edge closer, I zero in on her pendant I gave her. She’s fucking beautiful.
“Gabe… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” After a ghost of a smile, she clears her throat. “I’ve made an appointment with your—”
“No. It’s my fault.” I bury my hands in my pockets to stop myself from reaching for her. “Please, come in.”
A little of the tension rolls off my shoulders as she follows me. After she steps in the office, I close the door behind us and …
“Mitch?”
Caught by the wide grin that lights up her face, I frown when her lips curve down, and her grip on her purse tightens. “I mean, Michael—”
Mike grunts as he gets on his feet. “No. For you and Cara, it’s Mitch. Always.”
Aelin’s smile returns, and she tilts her head to the side. “All right. Mitch.”
“Hey kiddo.”
“Hi, Mitch.” And she launches herself into my brother’s open arms.
She giggles while Mike twirls her in his arms, and I grit my back teeth.I’m jealous of my own brother.I stalk to my desk and half sit on the edge of the rounded wood. When she’s back on her feet, she cups his face to kiss both his cheeks before wrapping her arms around his waist.Like in the picture.
“It’s so good to see you, Mitch. Where have you been?”
Mike shrugs. “Around.”
She places her hand on his chest, and her voice is soft and warm. “I know about the accident. I’m glad you’re okay, but I’m sorry we weren’t there for you when you were in pain.”
Michael wallows in her attention.You’ve seen her, held her. Now leave.
“Thank you, darling,” Mike says as he holds her tight. “I just wanted to say hey.”
Pushing off Mike’s chest, she lets out a throaty laugh that goes straight to my cock. I’m an asshole.
“Cara said you’ve just come back, but when you have a little time, I’d love to catch up.”
My lucky bastard of a brother grins at her. “I’d like that.”
Before he steps back, she leans in, and he pecks her head in a gesture that speaks of habit and trust. She waves at my baby brother who winks and closes the door.
I straighten up and force my shoulders to relax as she pivots toward me.
The light in her eyes is gone.
Approaching her with measured steps, I make my tone gentle. “Would you like something to drink?”
Her gaze locks onto mine, and she shakes her head. “I’d like to continue the conversation we started if you don’t mind.”
“Yes, of course,” I lead her to the sectional I barely use in the corner of the office.
She settles on the grey sofa and crosses her legs as I sit beside her.
After placing her purse on the wide coffee table, she clasps her hands in her lap and clears her throat. “First, I’d like to apologize for stealing from you.”
Aelin, don’t.“Aelin, I—”
Her fingers coil in her lap. “Please … can I please finish?”
When I nod, she tucks her hair behind her ear. “I should have talked to you first, instead of just assuming you’d agree for me to just take the leftover materials.” She lowers her eyes and pinches her lips before lifting her beautiful hazel gaze to mine.
That same gaze that used to warm up when she looked at me.
“My team and I are helping a charity called The Other Rainbow. They help families who suffered from physical and or sexual violence trauma to get on their feet.”
The Rainbow account was money they collected for a charity. I’m going to Hell.
She takes a deep breath.
“They’ve helped my sister and I when we felt no one would, and since then, we’ve tried to support them the best we can. I decorate their houses with recycled materials from the projects I work on and Cara cooks for them for events and holidays. We also raise money for them.”
The tightness in my chest returns.If I only had talked to her, stayed with her that night when she asked. Held her, but instead…
Aelin takes a letter-size envelope from which she extracts a page and a check she hands me.
I’m about to refuse, but she scoots closer, and I inhale her scent. Feminine and soft.
“I listed all the materials that were taken from Holloway and reimbursed thirty five percent of the gross price…”
Which is fucking ridiculous. “Aelin, that’s not—”
She tilts her gaze up. “Gabe, please let me finish.”
The slight tremble in her voice punches me right to the chest, and I nod.
“Thank you,” she whispers, then slants closer. She smells so damn good. I track her slim finger to the bottom of the page.
“I reimbursed fifty percent of this lamp because I just had to make a new shade.” She straightens up to face me. “I’ve also reimbursed the price of the pendant—”
I tense but keep my voice gentle. “The pendant was a gift.”I want you to keep something from me.
Her voice sharpens. “So were the dress and the bangle.” Her long fingers graze the pendant. “But this, I want to keep. My friend found it for me, and I would have bought it myself.”
And you don’t want it to be coming from me.
She points at the check. “This should cover it, but if it doesn’t, let me know. And as the project leader, I take full responsibility for what happened, so if you choose to take this matter further, I should be the only one held accountable.”
You must hate me.I fucking hate me.My chest hollows, and I shake my head trying to find the words. “Aelin, those were just scraps—”
Her eyes narrow. “Scraps that could have cost me my business and jeopardize the livelihood of people who trusted me.” After a little exhale, she adds, “If anything, it’ll be a good lesson for me to be more careful.”
Of assholes like me.
“Aelin, this is a sizeable chunk of your payment. I don’t need this, and I won’t take… Nothing will happen to you or your team. You have my word.”
Her trembling breath rips at my chest. “It’s about the principle. Please, accept it.”
“I will if you let the pendant be my gift to you.”Please keep one thing from me that you cherish. And wear on your skin.
When she frowns, I tense, but she nods and touches the pendant again. “All right.”
I shift to face her fully. “My turn now?”
A tiny but real smile stretches her lips. “Yes, your turn.”
“Aelin, I apologize. I’m sorry. For threatening you and your family. For the fucking contract. For everything you’ve been through. I’ve been an all-around piece of shit to you.” When she lowers her gaze, my chest tightens. I wait until I get her eyes back. “And I’ll do anything for you to forgive me, even though I know I don’t deserve it.”
She watches me for long seconds, and when she places her hand on my forearm, her touch loosens a little of the tension I’m holding.
“Thank you, Gabe. Really, thanks.” She removes her hand and breathes deeply. “So, this is over? For good? And I can stay?”
She thinks I would force her out of a life she fought so hard for? I clench my jaw hard. Of course, she does. I nod.
“And my sister, too?”
“Yes.”
When she lets out a quivering breath and her eyes fill up with tears, I grit my teeth.
I’m never going to hurt you again.
She twists her fingers in her lap and a tight smile ghosts over her lips. “Gabe, um, can you please contact Delia Jones? She keeps calling me and uh…”
“Fuck, I forgot. Of course, she won’t bother you again.”
“Thank you.” She clutches her purse, but I’m not ready to let her go.
“How are you, Aelin?”
She blinks fast and understanding flushes her face. “I’m … fine. Thank you.”
I know I lost every right to you, but…“Is there anything I can do for you? Anything at all?”
When she again touches my arm, I catch her hand, but she pulls it away and we stand up at the same time. “No, I’m all right. But thank you.”
She glides to the door and when she pivots to me, I step toward her.Anything.
“Gabe, what did you do with the painting?”
What?I edge closer. “What painting?”
She tilts her head to the side. “I… Your birthday gift.”
The day I terrorized her she’d brought me a gift.Another punch through my chest.
“Yes, I left it…” She waves her fingers toward the door. “Don’t worry. I’ll grab it on my way out.”
I follow her to the coat closet where she pulls out a large package wrapped in brown paper and bright yellow ribbon as well as a smaller package.
As she straightens up with her fingers clutched on the edge of the canvas, she bites her lip and her face colors.
I want to know. I need to know what you were going to give me.
“Aelin, I’d understand if you don’t want to give it to me after how I treated you, but I’d really like to have it anyway.”
Please.
She narrows her eyes. “Why?”
Because the loss of you is killing me, and I want something of you from when you thought I was good.Before I can answer, she hands me the packages. “All right, but if you don’t like them, just…” She shrugs. “Bye.”
After the elevator doors close, I stride to my living room where I lay the painting on the dining table to unwrap it. And get sucker punched. Again.
It’s a depiction of Holloway gardens from the balcony of the master bedroom which invites the viewer to lean over a woman’s shoulder who gazes at children playing in the gardens. The scene is captured with a late afternoon light of the end of summer and it’s almost the exact memory I have of my mother at Holloway. Aelin’s somehow intuited it and given form to one of my most precious memories.
And I lost her.
A tear rolls down my cheek as I unwrap the second package, it’s a set of a tie pin with cufflinks in the same crystal she had her brooch made with my initials engraved, stylishly entwined in the cufflinks and the pin.
She put the card in her purse, and I wish I could have read what it said before I became the monster who destroyed everything.
Back to my office, I call Erica in.
“Find out everything you can about a charity called The Other Rainbow. I need this information asap.” She scribbles on her notepad. “Also, I need you to call Rhys, our event manager and organize a meeting for tomorrow.”
As she gets to her feet, I add, “Erica, don’t make Aelin or Cara wait. If either need to see me, let them in.”
She nods. “Understood. It won’t happen again, Gabe.”
