My cheeks are aflame as I dash away from Nova and his dirty mouth, shock and embarrassment burning through my veins. My heart is pounding against my rib cage as I storm across the quad, with Hallie’s arm gripped too tight in my hand. My throat is dry as if I haven’t had a drink in days, but really it’s the effects of his words stealing my breath. God, the things he was saying were filthy and erotic, and I can feel the evidence of them against my now damp lace panties.
We both know how much you liked being my little slut.
I would be lying if I said I hadn’t tried to block out my memories of that night, but it isn’t because of how much I fucked up by pushing myself into his room when I knocked on the wrong door. No, it’s because I can still feel the tight grip he had on my hair, and the illicit feeling that pulsed through my body as he moaned my name. No one has ever treated me like that before, roughly fucked my mouth and both praised and degraded me. Hell, the word slut now sounds affectionate when it falls from his lips, it’s both depraved and insulting, and I like it more than I should. I am well and truly fucked.
“Okay, are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?” Hallie tugs on the hold I have on her, and pulls up to a stop near the building our next class is in.
I look at her and open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. What can I say? Where do I even start? She knows the history between Nova and I, between our families, she knew how much my dad’s affair broke me, and my mom. She is the one person who knows everything, the one who tried to be there for Josh in the aftermath of it all. She’s my best friend, I tell her everything, so why can’t I find the words to tell her this?
“Something happened,” I start with hesitation, trying to figure out the best way to explain it. ”Something happened with Nova, and I’m not sure what to do,” I add, and I see her frown as she tries to work out what I mean, which causes my anxiety to spike as I fall into a ramble. “On Saturday when I was drunk, I went in search of Alexander Reign so I could do stuff with him to get back at Brad, but instead I knocked on Nova’s door. He answered and instead of turning around and leaving, I pushed inside and ate his… baguette.”
Hallie stares at me dumbfounded, as she no doubt replays my ramble on repeat in her head. I watch as her mouth opens and closes a few times before she finally whispers, “You ate his baguette?”
I sigh, “Really, Hals, all those words and that’s what you focus on.” I start moving towards the door so we can get to class before we are late, and she quickly follows.
“It kinda seems like the most important part.” She shrugs, holding her hands up in defense before she adds, “And eating his baguette is a euphemism, for sucking his dick, right?”
Those words are said as we pull open the door and come face to face with Daemon Forbes, his eyes narrowing as she says the word dick. Daemon plays on the team with my brother, they even live in the same house, but there is just something about him that has always put me on edge. An underlying darkness that clings to him like a second skin. There are a ton of rumors about him, and his childhood. However, when I asked Josh he shut me down completely, and told me we should know what it’s like to be judged for our parents’ mistakes. I didn’t ask again after that.
Despite my thoughts, Daemon steps to the side and holds the door open, allowing us to pass. He maneuvers his body so there is no chance we accidentally touch him, something I wouldn’t notice if I wasn’t so aware of Hallie being similar, and doesn’t say a word to either of us as we enter. Hallie is too busy blushing from him overhearing our conversation to say anything, but when I look over my shoulder I find Daemon still standing there quietly watching. For once I think I see what Josh sees, someone broken and bleeding, but when he catches me staring, that signature scowl I am used to returns, and he stalks away, letting the door slam closed behind him.
“Oh my god,” Hallie whispers, placing her hand on her red cheek as she laughs. “That was so embarrassing!”
I shake my head, laughing with her. “Let’s just get to class, we can continue this conversation at home later.” Not giving her any chance to object, I drag her once more and make our way into class, and I pretend that I don’t think about Nova Darkmore once for the rest of the day.
Little white lies are okay right?
The next day I start my day the same as always, with a torso selfie from my Charmer, something I now look forward to every day. He isn’t shirtless in today’s picture, much to my dismay, but he is still wearing a fitted workout shirt that shows off his defined muscles.
The Lonely Charm: Good morning
*image attached*
Maddie: It was going to be but then you deprived me of those abs I love so much!
The Lonely Charm: Don’t flirt with me Grim, it gets me hard
Maddie: Everything gets you hard!
The Lonely Charm: Not true, apparently it’s just girls who are mean to me
Maddie: I am never mean to you!
The Lonely Charm: Who said I was talking about you? 😉
I know he means the last message as a joke, but a stab of pain hits me in the chest when I think about the conversation we had last night. He told me that he got with a girl last weekend, something that shouldn’t bother me, but when he told me he felt a little guilty about it, I laughed it off. Told him we are just anonymous friends who flirt sometimes, that it’s nothing serious, but both were a vicious lie. I like him far more than I should, but there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. That girl he got with is real, has a name and face that he is familiar with, and obviously likes him to some degree for them to fool around with one another. She can give him something I can’t, so it might hurt me in the process, but it’s time I start drawing lines in the sand, keeping us firmly in the friend zone no matter how hard he tries to push us out of it.
The Lonely Charm: And woman please! You have been mean to me every day since we started talking!
Maddie: If you are talking about me pointing out your giant ego, that isn’t being mean, it’s just stating facts!
The Lonely Charm: I’m talking about you refusing to even give me your name or agree to meet me in person.
Maddie: You know I can’t do that
The Lonely Charm: Why? What are you so afraid of?
Everything.
I’m afraid that he won’t like me as much as he does now. Or worse, will like me too much and I will have to break his heart as well as my own. I’m afraid he knows me already and will be disappointed in my real identity, or use it to his advantage like most other people do. I’m afraid that this crush I have on him when we haven’t even met will turn into something so real, that I will never escape the regret of not being able to fall in love with him.
Maddie: It’s just better if we stay friends
Maddie: In fact I need you to make me a promise
The Lonely Charm: Anything for you Grim
Maddie: No falling in love with me
The Lonely Charm: That would be hard to complete without even knowing your real name
Maddie: Just promise me
The Lonely Charm: Okay I promise
After things turned a little too serious in my text messages, I spend the rest of the day kind of zoned out, especially when I know I am heading out the door to meet my parents and the Thorne’s at a restaurant uptown. The dinner is meant for us to all spend some time together after my dad lectured me about not being seen out with Bradley on campus. I guess I could have told him we were seen together at two parties, one where he called me a slut, but I doubt he would be interested in that story.
So instead of spending a girls night in with Hallie, I am dressed in a cream corset top, with a black silk skirt, and heeled pumps as Julian leads me towards the car. The restaurant isn’t too far of a drive, but the nervous anxiety churning in my stomach makes me want to fling open the door and dive head first into oncoming traffic. Practical? No. Rational? Absolutely not. Still a better alternative than dinner? One hundred percent.
By the time we make it to the restaurant I am practically hyperventilating, and when I spy my father waiting outside for me, it makes me feel even worse. Julian pulls up in front of the restaurant and rushes around the car to open my door. I gratefully thank him, ignoring the few people that call out hello to my dad as I close the distance between us.
“Dad,” I say by way of greeting, no other words capable of escaping my mouth right now, as I lean up and kiss his cheek.
His eyes trail over my outfit before he huffs, “You’re late.” He turns without waiting for a response, and holds the door open wide for me to enter, where I find my mom, and the Thorne’s waiting for us. Mr and Mrs Thorne are talking to one another with their heads close together, and Bradley has his eyes on his phone, it’s only my mom that notices our arrival.
“Oh there you are.” She leans in close, air kissing both my cheeks before she steps back, and appraises me just like my dad did. “You look wonderful, darling. Bradley, doesn’t she look wonderful?”
I couldn’t feel more like a damn show pony as she prods my intended for an answer, and when he snaps his attention away from his phone, I instantly wish he hadn’t. “What? Oh yeah, sure, she looks nice.” Nice. I almost scoff a laugh. All the words in the dictionary and the only one my future husband can come up with is nice? God help our children.
“Shall we?” my father interrupts, holding his hand out to gesture towards where the hostess is waiting to seat us.
We are led to the best table in the house, my father expecting nothing less, and my cheeks hurt from the smile I am forced to keep in place as we greet the people around us. Unsurprisingly I am directed into a spot right beside Brad, who looks about as happy as I do to be here, and we all take our seats. The waitress rushes off to bring over the wine menu, and we are left in an awkward silence that doesn’t exactly set the tone for a good night.
It doesn’t take me long to zone out, offering smiles and nods when I need to as their conversation picks up, and we pretend we are all just one big happy family. It’s not exactly hard, I have been doing this every week for the last few years, the addition of the Thorne family changes nothing.
Instead I subtly cast my eyes around the restaurant, taking in its usual clientele. Nothing surprising in their presence, it’s the same people all the time. Yet when my attention snags on a familiar hulking frame with dark hair, I feel my eyes widen. Nova Darkmore is here. He’s here in this restaurant. I pray he doesn’t see us, and thankfully he seems too lost in conversation with his dinner guests to notice me staring. He’s with a man and a young woman, and I can’t help but wonder who they both are.
I spend most of the dinner playing my part and pretending that my eyes don’t keep flicking over to the hockey player whose cock I have had in my mouth. It isn’t until my dad says the words spring wedding that I zone back in and almost choke on my drink.
“Spring wedding?” I interrupt, sparkling water dripping down my chin no doubt, as I look at him in disbelief.
He looks annoyed, which isn’t surprising, he hates being interrupted, but still he sighs and answers me like I am nothing but a petulant child. “Yes, a spring wedding,” he snaps. “It follows on nicely from a Christmas engagement, don’t you think?”
His question is rhetorical, he doesn’t actually want me to answer that, and given the lump now in my throat, I don’t think I am capable anyway. I swallow thickly, before pasting a smile across my face and nodding in agreement. Ever the dutiful daughter. I half wonder why they didn’t invite Josh, but now I understand why. They know he would step in and try to disagree with them, and they don’t want anything derailing their plans.
With my mind swimming, I push the chair back and stand on shaky legs, as I excuse myself from the table. “I am just going to head to the ladies’ room,” I announce, not waiting for a response, as I turn and calmly walk away, putting one foot in front of the other until I can make my escape.
I bypass the ladies’ room completely, and head down a dark corridor that I know leads to the back of this place. I push out of the staff entrance and gasp for air. My lungs are screaming at me, but no matter how many breaths I take, I can’t seem to make it stop. It’s as if the world is spinning around me, and all I can do is drop down and hug my knees, and wait for it to pass.
God I don’t think this night could get any worse.
