All three of us watch both girls leave until there is a silent tension brewing between all of us. Alexander and I are still working through some issues from that night, all of which I am man enough to admit were my fault, but that doesn’t mean I am going to apologize. The fucker has had his dick in my girl’s mouth, as far as I’m concerned he needed that black eye, I don’t care how fucking hot it was. Archer of course is oblivious to any of it. Pretty much the whole team knows I roughed Reign up a little, but none of them know why.
Which brings me to the girl at the root of it all.
Madeline fucking Peters.
My teammate’s sister, the Mayor’s daughter, the girl I grew to despise, now the bane of my very fucking existence. It used to be that the only thing I would think of is hockey: watching it, playing it, obsessing over it, but now there is her. Taking up space in my mind, and worse, in my heart, and instead of falling at my feet like every other fucking girl I throw my attention at, she acts like all she wants to do is escape it. I know she wants me as much as I want her, but it’s like she is constantly pulling away from me, and until now I have been blind to the reason why.
“What do either of you know about Bradley Thorne?” I ask, turning my focus back to the guys, and I see Archer frown. He is probably wondering why I am asking about one of the football jocks, but I need to know more about him. For complete non-murder related reasons.
“His dad is some rich, business tycoon, big on the football scene, never misses a game, and donates big to the Dean,” Alexander cuts in, and it’s the first time he has truly looked me in the eye since the night in the basement. “Brad is a QB for the team, a solid player, but a total daddy’s boy. He’s set to take over the business one day after a mildly successful football career, and getting someone to pump out a few heirs for him.” He recites the words like he has heard them multiple times, and I have no idea where.
Archer and I both stare at him in confusion, until Arch curses, “How the fuck do you know all that, Reign? Is this some British MI5 bullshit?” he jokes, always trying to find a way to bring up Reign’s heritage on his mom’s side.
Reign rolls his eyes but shrugs, a smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth as he flicks his stare between the two of us. “Daddy Thorne’s second wife is really chatty when satisfied.”
My mouth drops open, but again Archer beats me to it. “You dirty little motherfucker!” He jumps on him, pulling him into a headlock and rubbing his knuckles across his scalp. “You better stay the fuck away from my mom,” he adds, laughing at this new found information.
“I mean, it’s not technically his mom,” I cut in, trying and failing to help Reign out. He said second wife, and I know Alexander has a dog of a reputation, but I’m guessing Mr Thorne’s second wife is more arm candy than anything else, but Archer is quick to look my way.
“Don’t make me bring Diana into this, Nova, you know how much I love me some Mrs Darkmore,” he teases with a wink, and I have to refrain from punching the fucker. Ever since he met her, he has always joked about finding her hot, and I’ve had to stop myself from taking it out on his face.
“Don’t fucking talk about my mom, you prick!” I say in warning. “And it’s Miss not Mrs,” I add, words spitted through my teeth as I try to remain calm.
“Not in my dreams it isn’t,” he replies, wagging his eyebrows at me. “Oh yes, Archer, that’s it, right there, baby, you sure know how to use that hockey stick,” he moans, while mimicking fucking someone. “Fuck yeah, Mrs Darkmore, squeeze my stick nice and tight,” he adds with a groan.
I move on instinct, ready to lay him right here, best friend status be damned, but Reign stops me with a hand to the chest, cutting a scathing look at my best friend. “There is something seriously fucking wrong with you, Gray.”
Archer just smiles even wider. “Then maybe Mrs Darkmore can punish me for being bad,” he adds with a wink, licking his lips suggestively as he stares at me. Motherfucker.
“Oh bloody hell,” Alexander curses beneath his breath. “It’s your funeral,” he adds with a shrug, releasing his hold on me.
I take a step forward immediately, flinging my arm out to grab him, but he just laughs, dancing away from me into a run, and bouncing towards class. “Remind me how the fuck he became my best friend again,” I grumble to Reign, both of us watching Archer run away like a toddler on a mission, and Reign laughs.
“From what I remember, I don’t think he gave you much of a choice, pretty sure it was love at first sight,” Reign recalls, remembering how Archer glued himself to our sides during our first week on the team. “Not that I can blame him,” he adds jokingly, flexing out his arms.
“Yeah, right,” I roll my eyes. “He’s a needy little prick, and you’re a big-headed prick, how the fuck did I end up with both of you,” I muse out loud, moving to walk the way Archer escaped.
“By just being a prick?” Reign says with a smile, falling in step beside me. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think baby Peters has anything with Bradley Thorne, not that I’ve heard anyway,” he adds in a more serious tone, and when I look at him, I can see he is treading warily as he speaks.
“Baby Peters, really?” I ask, cocking my brow at him. “You’ve had your dick in her mouth and you’re still gonna call her baby Peters?” He almost chokes on his breath at my statement, but when he sees that I am smirking, he relaxes a little.
“Yeah, well, your fist in my face was enough to erase that memory.” He flexes out his jaw as if remembering that night. Not that I believe him, I think even on my deathbed I will remember that night.
If I’m being honest with myself, I’m not really sure why I hit him, the game was my idea after all. I’m the one who made the dare, I’m the one who pushed them both to the edge, and I’m the one who loved every second of it. I guess I just didn’t realize how deep beneath my skin the Mayor’s daughter had dug herself. Madeline Peters has a hold on me like no one ever has. Everyone looks at her and sees what she wants them to see, the Mayor’s daughter, the perfect sister, the pristine student. They see her as good, honest, pliable, unattainable. Yet when I look at her now, I see the most fascinating thing in the world. She is strong, fierce, and of course completely and utterly fuckable, but it’s more than that. She is the fire to my ice, and where I used to avoid the flames, now all I want to do is burn.
I move my focus back to Reign and I can see the regret in his eyes, the mark he thinks he placed on his friendship, and how much he means it when he says it’s erased from his memory. “Good to know,” I finally respond, mostly because I can’t think of anything else to say to make it better.
Reign clearly takes that as an opening, because he opens his mouth and starts again. “Listen, Nova, if I would have known…”
“It’s fine, Reign.” My hand flies up and cuts him off. “I didn’t fucking know until it was too late, so I don’t expect you to, and besides it was hot as fuck,” I shrug, acting like I am not torn up inside between jealousy and the memory of how erotic it was to force her mouth onto him.
“Yeah it was,” he laughs, bumping my shoulder with his as we arrive at the building for our next class. “So, we’re good?”
I nod. “Yeah man, we’re good.” He smiles, reaching out to open the door for me, but I pause when just over the threshold. “But touch her again and I will kill you.”
He smiles with the shake of his head. “No problem, Cap.”
The rest of the afternoon passes in a blur, my mind solely focused on the one girl I can’t seem to have, who is now the one I want more than anyone else. I also think about Grim and the last message sitting on my phone that I still haven’t responded to. Again, if I am being honest with myself, I feel something for her, which is fucked up when we don’t even know each other. Except that we do know each other. I might not know her name or what she looks like, but I do know her.
I know she likes to drink her coffee on the back deck of her house looking out onto the lake every morning. I know she doesn’t get along with her family, but she still loves them and spends time with them, and I definitely know what she keeps in the drawer of her nightstand. So, does it really matter that I don’t know her name? Not to me, which just leaves me feeling guilty for what I have going on with Madeline, which if you asked her, would be nothing, but to me? I know it could be something. So where the fuck do I go from here? To the girl I don’t know, or the girl I now know all too well.
Without any idea of how to answer that, I settle for the woman who birthed me instead, making my way over to her apartment as soon as my last class finishes. I use my spare key to unlock the door, and call out to her as I enter. “Hey mom!”
“In here, Sweetheart,” she shouts back, and I follow her voice through to the kitchen. “I’m just meal prepping some stuff for the week ahead.”
Of course I find her standing over the stove, mixing something just like always, and I lean down and drop a kiss to the back of her head. “Smells good in here,” I compliment, stealing a piece of chicken from the plate on the side, and she immediately bats my hand away.
“And it will taste good when it’s ready,” she scolds, mixing whatever is in the pot a few more times, before turning down the heat, and wiping her hands.
When she finally turns around to face me, I have to swallow the chicken with a lump in my throat. She doesn’t look good, a lot paler and slimmer than the last time I saw her, which was just the other day, and it’s like a knife to my heart. She’s getting worse, getting sicker, and there is nothing I can do to stop it. I’ve been putting off speaking to my dad, but I don’t think I can do it any longer, I need his help.
My mom just smiles, acting as if everything is perfectly fine, just like she always does, and I envy her inner strength. She has always been able to work well under pressure, never breaking under the weight of it, no matter how heavy it gets, and I couldn’t be more grateful for growing up with someone so amazing. When she takes a seat across the table from me, I force a smile to my face and pretend that everything is okay, for her sake at least.
“How’s my favorite son today?” she asks with a smile of her own, and I refrain from rolling my eyes.
“I’m your only son, and I’m fine,” I grumble in response, still feeling my mood from earlier, and itching to see the one person I know could take it all away.
“Just fine, huh? You must still be having girl trouble,” she muses, bringing a huge mug of green tea to her lips, and staring at me from over the rim.
“I am not having girl trouble,” I lie far too quickly, and all she does is continue to stare at me, waiting for me to expand, but I don’t.
“Okay, if you say so,” she drags out, before adding, “What about the girl from your phone?” Her eyes are pleading at me for details, and I know her wish is for me to find a nice girl before I go pro. Someone who likes me for me and not how good I am at playing a game.
Once again flipping from thoughts of Maddie to Grim, I can’t do anything but groan. “It’s complicated,” I admit, not really sure how else to describe it. She could be asking about both of them and my answer would be the same.
To my surprise, my mom laughs. “Still won’t tell you her name, huh?” I can tell she not only finds that funny, but also endearing. I know if she knew Grim she would get along with her, and that’s part of the problem, that I know that and still don’t know her name.
Then once again we come back to Maddie, she knows her name. Hell, she knows more than her name from what I understand, and I bet despite what her dad did to her, that my mom has a soft spot for the daughter of the devil. They’re both similar in different ways, both strong, and fierce, would do anything for the ones they love, which is both a strength and a weakness sometimes. It’s what drew me to her, getting to see a side of her that I’m sure she doesn’t show to anyone, and all I want to do is pick her apart and uncover all of her secrets.
Thankfully my mom must see something on my face when I don’t respond, because she jumps out of her chair and heads back to the stove. “Nothing that a home-cooked meal won’t fix,” she says breezily, and for once I am thankful she doesn’t push me for anything more.
We spend the next hour cooking and catching up, both of us pretending that she is completely fine, and it isn’t until she tells me that she is tired that I move to leave. I don’t linger, I can’t, because the sight of her like this is killing me. Instead, I make quick and quiet work of cleaning up the kitchen, and then slip out into the night without another word.
By the time I make it back to my house I am beyond exhausted, and I ignore the guys all playing video games in the living room and head straight up to my room, pulling my phone out as I go. My fingers feel heavy as they fly across the screen, shooting off a message to my dad that we need to meet up and talk. Once it’s sent, it’s like a weight is lifted off my chest. That feeling only lasts a second though, because when I exit out of his message thread, I spy the unread message still sitting there from Grim.
Grim: I miss your giant ego!
I smile as I read them because I know she means them, that she really does miss me. We have become a part of one another’s lives these past few months, and not talking to her every day is killing me. Yet carrying on with this facade of texting without names is getting a little ridiculous, and I don’t think I can do it anymore. Especially not with all the things that have happened between Maddie and I. Our most recent encounter definitely included, so I decide it’s time to be honest.
Nova: Sorry Grim, I got caught up at the library.
Not technically a lie and her response is almost instant.
Grim: You were just at the library? Like the campus library?
I type my response out slowly, and I can see her own typing bubbles coming and going, but if I don’t do this now then I never will, and I hope we can remain friends, and friends tell each other the truth.
Nova: I was with the girl I mentioned to you before and I don’t think it’s casual with us anymore, or at least it’s not for me.
Her typing stops and I see my message change to read instantly, and I wait for her typing bubbles to reappear but they don’t. I can’t help myself, my fingers fly across the screen again, typing as fast as I can to get her to understand.
Nova: I like you, I do, but I can’t do this anymore. This other girl, I mean, I know her name, Grim, I know her, and I don’t care that her dad fucked over my mom or that I play on the same team as her brother. None of that matters anymore, I just want her.
When I send that one I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest at my admission, not just to Grim, but to myself. I want her. I want Madeline Peters, and I want her for more than just sex. I mean don’t get me wrong, the sex is fucking amazing, but so is she. Smart, witty, sexy as hell, and knows how to give just as much shit as she can take. She’s fucking perfect.
I keep my eyes on my phone, waiting for Grim to respond, but those typing bubbles don’t start up again. I wait five minutes and then ten, and when I realize she isn’t coming back, I send one final message.
Nova: I’ll miss you, Grim.
