Hell must have frozen over because there is no other explanation as to why Nova Darkmore is walking me home right now. I am replaying the last twenty minutes in my head, and no matter how many times I go over it, I still cannot work out how we got here. We have interacted more today than we have in the two years we have gone to college together, and I for one find it really fucking weird. He hasn’t exactly made a secret of his hatred towards me and my family, yet now here we are walking alone in the world’s most awkward silence.
I keep looking over my shoulder in the hopes that Hallie and her chaperone catch up with us, but there is no such luck. I don’t even have my phone on me to text her, after she made me leave it at home in an attempt to forget about Brad and my charming stalker, and well, look how well that turned out. Not only did Brad show up and ruin my night, but now I have a new uncharming stalker to deal with.
My eyes dart over to Nova, and I study him closely as he keeps a firm check on our surroundings as we walk. I guess I should feel grateful he was feeling such a gentleman this evening, that is after saying I looked like a slut of course, which for some reason didn’t sting as much as when Brad said it. Either way, it’s nice having him here to make sure I make it home okay. I wasn’t exactly thinking when I decided to storm away from the party, alone, in the middle of the night without a phone! It has to be almost midnight and even though I know Hector will be lurking around somewhere watching me, it feels nice to have someone by my side in case anything happens.
I’d die before I ever admitted that to this cocky asshole though. Some secrets you take straight to the grave.
The silence between us might be the loudest sound in the world, and I don’t think hatred has ever been so pungent in the air before. Normally I am comfortable in silence, my therapist says it’s because I have learnt to ignore the things in my life I can’t control, and only keep my focus on the things that I can, but after seeing Brad again I don’t feel in control of anything. Nova must be picking up on the tension because now he keeps looking at me as if I am going to explode.
I thought he would be better at handling tension given his chosen sport, but after five minutes he finally breaks. “Do you want to talk about it?”
A groan rumbles up the back of my throat, but I manage to bite it back as I respond, “Talk about what?”
He scoffs a laugh, shaking his head as if wondering why he is even here, well me and you both buddy. “You and that douchebag back there?” His assessment of Brad is scarily accurate, but I’m not gonna tell him that.
“No,” I snap. “I absolutely do not want to talk about it.” Where the hell would I even start? Like, oh by the way mortal enemy number one, that douche back there is actually my boyfriend, even though I don’t like him and caught him fucking a waitress. Oh and he is going to become my fiancé because my daddy said so. Yeah, I’m sure that would go down great.
Apparently my refusal isn’t loud enough though because he keeps going. “Is he your boyfriend or something?”
A humorless laugh escapes me before I can stop it, as I mutter under my breath, “Yeah, or something.” A cold wind blows past us, and considering my outfit, I can’t help the shudder that wracks through my body.
Nova sees it and without saying anything, pulls off his hockey jacket and passes it to me. I start to protest but he shuts me down instantly. “Just put on the fucking jacket, Maddie,” he sighs in exasperation, as if he is as tired with tonight’s bullshit as I am.
I take it wordlessly, unsure of how to even act in this new weird scenario where we aren’t at each other’s throats, and push my arms through the sleeves, letting the material drown me. My nose is instantly assaulted by his masculine, spicy scent. It’s intense and intoxicating, and could probably become addictive, and suddenly I am feeling hot all over, and not just from the jacket. Christ, am I that starved of affection that I am willing to bask in it even from an asshole like him?
No wonder I am happy texting a stranger that could be a stalker, clearly I have issues. I know that, and I definitely won’t be discussing this with my therapist at our next session. She’d probably tell me this isn’t exactly what she meant when she told me to enjoy new experiences.
Unable to bear the silence for a second longer, I speak the first words that come to mind. “I didn’t know you were such a gentleman,” I choke out past the smell, in an attempt to escape the burning feeling now stroking over my skin in the presence of him.
“Nope,” he pops the p. “My mom just raised me right, is all.” The mention of his mom throws a bucket of ice over me, and the silent tension from earlier comes hurtling towards us, but still I try my best to escape it.
“How is she?” I ask quietly. “Your mom I mean.” It’s a simple question, but apparently the answer is non-negotiable.
“I’m not talking about my fucking mom with you, Maddie,” he snaps, and the angry tone of his voice shuts me down completely.
Okay then I guess that’s the end of that.
I can understand his reservations, given our family history, but my question was truly genuine. I spent a lot of time getting to know Diana Darkmore when I was younger, she was my dad’s secretary for almost five years. Hell, most days I spoke to her more than either of my parents. She was a nice woman, a kind woman, and when my dad fired her, it wasn’t just her heart he broke, but mine too.
Diana always took the time to get to know me, to talk to me, and to learn things about me. She knew my favorite color was green, and that I prefer Chinese food over anything else. She would help me with my math homework whenever my dad would get stuck in a meeting, and always reminded him to not forget mine and Josh’s birthdays. I’m not sure how such an amazing woman birthed the spawn of satan beside me, but hey what do I know. It was nice just having an adult in my life that took an interest in me, just for me, and not for what I could do for their perfect family image.
The rest of the walk back to my house is silent with Nova letting me lead the way, and his stare continuing to keep a lookout. By the time we make it to my street the coldness has well and truly settled between us both, that I actually think jumping in the lake would give me less of a chill. I might even be desperate enough to do just that if it wasn’t so dark that you can’t even see it.
When we finally reach near my house I practically sprint towards it as I loudly announce, “Well this is me.”
I turn towards Nova and see his eyes look over my house in distaste. I’m sure I can probably guess what he is thinking, but I don’t bother calling him out on it. Instead, I shuffle out of his jacket, noting Hector as he pulls up across the street. I knew he would be around somewhere. I pass the jacket back to Nova and he accepts it without a word, and I instantly feel the chill.
When the silence starts to turn awkward again, I just nod and turn, walking up to my door and unlocking it. As I open it and go to slip inside, I notice Nova is only just leaving now he knows that I am safe, and I can’t stop myself from calling out his name.
“Nova!” One word, his name, not cursed like normal, and he freezes, turning to look over his shoulder and suddenly my mouth feels dry as I force out, “Thank you.” He looks at me confused before I add, “For walking me home, I really appreciate it.”
He nods before he sighs, “It was no big deal.” I open my mouth to tell him it was, but he beats me to it. “Goodnight, Maddie.”
Those two words cut me off dead as I stare after him, and all I can think is that he doesn’t realize it was the nicest thing someone has done for me in a long time. How pathetic is that?
Shaking my head, I shut the door behind me and immediately rush upstairs to grab my phone so I can call Hallie. It’s not that I don’t trust Nova, or his friends, but I am still worried about my friend and I need to check on her. I quickly turn it back on and before I can open my thread with her, another message immediately comes through. It’s from a few hours ago and it’s only now that I remember the image I sent to my maybe stalker, and the fact I turned my phone off before he could respond.
The Lonely Charm: Send me another picture like that and I am going to knock on every door in this damn town until I find you.
Heat instantly spreads through my body at the threat, and I don’t think I can remember a time I have ever felt so wanted, and it’s not like I haven’t been with guys before. I had a couple of boyfriends in high school, dated a little when I first got here, but all of them used me in the same way my dad does. As a pawn to be wielded for their own personal gain, no one has ever just appreciated me for me.
It was always a ploy to get close to me so they could get in with my dad or with Josh, they never just wanted me. I thought I had dealt with it, the feeling of rejection and loneliness, and as that feeling of not being good enough starts to crawl up my throat, I struggle to remember my coping techniques. I try the deep breathing, and the mantras I recite in my head, but it doesn’t work, but then my eyes flick back down to the message in my hand and I read it again and again.
Every door in this damn town until I find you.
Every door in this damn town until I find you.
Every door in this damn town until I find you.
I read them until my eyes blur and I can no longer see them, and when I take a deep breath I notice my heart rate has returned to normal and I can actually breathe easily again. It worked, it actually worked. I’d laugh if I didn’t feel so much like I wanted to cry. That overwhelming feeling of sadness needs to stop, I can’t handle it. So I push it aside and exit the text thread to look for Hallie’s name.
When I press on her name to call her, it rings for two-seconds and then is cut off. What the hell? I do it again, and the same thing happens. Anxiety curls in my gut as I rush downstairs to head outside, but as I reach the bottom of the steps I hear muffled laughter. The front door slides open and I spy Hallie with Archer Gray, laughing at some story he is telling, and I can do nothing but stand there and stare at them.
“Then what did you do?” Hallie asks excitedly.
Archer shrugs. “I did what anyone would do, I busted down the door and threw the bucket of fish guts on him.”
Hallie cackles instantly, holding her stomach as if she can barely breathe as she responds, “Oh my god, no you didn’t,” she gasps in between laughs.
“Of course I did, that fucker started it and he messed with my hair, Sanders,” he exclaims dramatically using her last name, and I’m not sure what I am witnessing here, but Hallie never really talks to guys, or anyone for that matter.
Archer finally notices me and offers me a mock salute. “Special delivery for, baby Peters.” He’s drunk, that much is obvious, but still I appreciate him for walking Hallie home.
I don’t know him that well, he’s closer to Nova than he is my brother, so of the few hockey players I have gotten to know from the Flyers, he isn’t really one of them. “Thanks, Gray,” I reply with a smile and nod, turning my attention to my best friend. “You all good, Hals?”
“I’m great,” she smiles, and I can tell by her expression she means it, and I find my gaze straying back over to the hockey player still shadowing our doorstep, as Hallie also turns back to him. “Thanks for walking me home, Arch, you’re a gem.”
My eyes bug out of my head, but he doesn’t seem to notice as he focuses on my best friend. “Anytime, Sanders, and don’t forget about the game next week.” He winks before nodding at me and adding, “Goodnight ladies.”
Hallie watches him leave, before she shuts the door and slumps her back against it. “Well, that was an interesting night, Sad Brad and Notorious Nova, ey?” She wiggles her brows at me and I storm towards her.
“Oh hell no, we are totally starting with you,” I demand, grabbing her by the hand and leading her into the kitchen. “Debrief now!”
I reach into the freezer and pull out a tub of ice cream while she grabs two spoons, and then we sit side by side on the breakfast bar and dig in. We each eat a few spoonfuls before she opens her mouth to speak, but I cut her off, “Not a chance,” I scold. “You are totally going first.”
She laughs with a sigh, “There is nothing to tell, Wendy, Archer came up to me, explained the situation and walked me home, that’s all.”
Reaching for another scoop of ice cream, I snatch the tub away. “That’s all my ass, you two were acting like the best of friends out there.”
She shrugs. “He’s in my econ class. He might seem all dark and moody, but that’s just a front, he’s really a nice guy.” Her words seem genuine enough, but still I can’t help but poke at the obvious.
“And super hot,” I say with a smirk, but all she does is roll her eyes as if she has barely noticed, which is bullshit. Every girl on this damn campus has noticed.
I almost fell off my chair the first time I went to one of Josh’s practices to see him in action. I swore it must have been a rule that they all had to be over 6ft tall and sexy to earn a spot on the team. I had to hold my drool in for the entire game, and I barely paid any attention to my brother. Hell, even the Darkmore devil himself didn’t go unnoticed. He’s just as attractive as the rest of them, if not more, it’s just his asshole personality that lets him down.
Hallie interrupts my thoughts before I dig deeper into that last one “Trust me when I tell you I am not his type,” she smiles a secret smile to herself, but I don’t push her on it, my mind is clouding enough with my own secrets.
Now I’m not naive, I know everyone has secrets of their own, scars they don’t want to show to anybody, but that’s the problem. The only way to truly know someone is to discover their scars, yet nobody ever wants to rip off the bandages and let the other person see them bleed. So you either end up alone and miserable, or worse, not alone and with someone who is incapable of healing you.
I think back to the message on my phone and I can’t help but feel the need to taunt the mystery man who seems to understand me more than any man I have ever met. My real world might be going to shit, but that doesn’t mean I can’t indulge in a little fantasy, and my lonely charmer is the perfect candidate.
