This feels like a private moment we’ve intruded on.
Aurick’s face is ashen. Sickly. His jaw is slack, his hands balled into fists, and those arctic eyes glisten with tears.
“No,” he repeats.
“I’m sorry,” Marilynn whispers. Although, her stoic eyes betray her. The tone in her voice betrays her. She isn’t sorry, not really. She speaks clearly, without a hint of emotion in her words. It isn’t because she’s cold and hardened on the inside. It’s because she comes from a place of duty, tradition, and honor. It’s plain as day on her face. She cared for Aurick, and maybe she still does, but her vows came first.
“How.” It isn’t a question but a demand.
“It’s a lot to explain. But—to make a long story short, I had to help protect them”—she nods her head at Dessin and me—“from your father. From you. You were becoming just like him. And my feelings were getting in the way of my true purpose.”
I realize Aurick knows nothing about the prophecies of her people.
He shakes his head, not understanding a word coming out of her mouth.
“I’m sorry,” she says again.
Aurick takes a step back, turning away from the love of his life, putting his hands on the back of his head while taking deep, controlled breaths. It dawns on me that he’s had to watch two people come back from the dead within the span of an hour.
“What’s this about a Prison Void?” Dessin asks, tightening his hold around my shivering body.
“We were told that the Fallen Saint would have the ability to create a prison in someone’s mind. A place where time doesn’t exist. Where the Fallen Saint is the judge, jury, and executioner.” Marilynn’s gaze remains on Aurick even as she answers Dessin.
“The—what? Fallen Saint?” Niles huffs out a laugh. “Is that what they’ve been calling Skylenna?!”
Dessin lets out a low warning grumble in the bed of his throat. Niles shuts up.
“Doing that drains your body of energy and heat. It can bring you to hypothermic levels,” she adds, ignoring Niles.
“So you’ve just been here this entire time?” Aurick seethes.
“Yes.”
He shakes his head like he doesn’t know her. He never knew her. And even though Aurick is on my hit list, I feel for him. I know what it’s like to be left in the dark.
“How often can she go to the Prison Void?” Dessin runs his fingers through my hair gently.
“Only Skylenna can know the limits of her mind and body. But it’s safe to say she shouldn’t do it unless absolutely necessary.”
“Did you go to your own funeral?” Aurick’s eyes are red rimmed now, exploding with building fury. “Did you watch me sit by your headstone for days? Did you get to see me drink myself into oblivion?”
Dessin and I look between them uncomfortably.
“Aurick, we can talk about this in private. But Vexamen has taken the babies of your city. And it’s only going to get worse. Let Skylenna and Dessin call the shots. Let them devise a plan and offer them whatever resources they need. We only have a couple of hours before there’s no chance of catching up to them. It’s now or never.”
Aurick looks at her in disbelief, mirroring all of our expressions.
“I’ll tell you anything you want to know. But they need to be armed and sent to the warships now.”
Back in the Demechnef mountain, we’re armed and given the war room to plan strategy. The main objective is to get on the ship, get the babies off the ship and onto our boat, then find the boiler room and blow the whole thing up.
We can’t bring a whole unit on board. Only Dessin and me with one or two extra people to help us get the babies out safely. We even have comfortable baby slings on our chest and back, with multiple slots. That way we’ll be able to safely secure them off the ship.
“If you two think I’m letting you have all the fun, you’re blind and stupid.” Warrose blasts through the door, his big shoulder throwing the thick oak into the adjacent wall.
“I told you to wait outside with the others.” Dessin scowls.
“If Warrose gets to come, then so do I,” Ruth announces, poking her head through the doorway.
“It’s too dangerous,” I cut them off. “You need to stay here and train with Warrose.”
“But I can help! I speak old Alkadonian. I can translate!”
Translate? The Vexamen Breed was speaking another language. And Ruth was shouting down its translation to Dessin.
I look up at Dessin, who is watching me intently. He slides one hand over my lower back, leaving me with weak knees and a warm gooeyness in my chest. He’s giving me the freedom to say yes or no to their request. To decide if having a translator would be that much of a help or not.
“How do you know old Alkadonian?”
“Yes, how do you know a language that was outlawed here?” Warrose crosses his arms.
“My grandfather taught my father. It was a family tradition to learn it. They were paranoid that one day we’d have to return to Alkadon.”
We nod collectively. Well, she is the only one that knows it fluently. And it would come in handy to know what’s going on throughout the ship.
“Fine. But you stay by Warrose’s side. No deviating. No going off on your own. You do exactly as we say.” I cringe inwardly at how much I sound like a mother.
“Deal—”
“Oh, hell no. Little Ruthie gets to go? If you’re taking on charity cases, then I’m definitely going.” Niles enters the room like a tornado, bumping into tables and chairs and knocking a stack of papers to the floor.
“No,” Dessin answers this time.
“I can break into anything. You think they’re not going to have those kids locked up?”
“I can also break into anything.”
“Right. Of course, you can. But you’re far more useful as the muscle, yes? There are probably hundreds of men on that ship. Quietly put down anyone that gets in our way, and I’ll take care of any lock.”
Niles and Dessin stare each other down.
“I vote yes!” Ruth punches a fist in the air.
“This is not a democracy.” But I can tell by the slight lift of his brow that he’s seriously considering it.
“He makes a good point,” I say.
Dessin nods. We did promise to stick together. Make decisions together. But that doesn’t stop the web of nerves tying knots in my stomach. The thought of Niles getting hurt again makes me want to vomit. Or what about Ruth? She’s never had to suffer physical torture before. She was never a patient in the asylum or a subject in a cruel experiment. She’s never really been touched by evil in this family.
“You can go.” Dessin sighs in annoyance. “Now, are we done making my life hell, or does Chekiss want to fight the bad guys too?”
“I’ll only slow you down.” Chekiss stands in the doorway. His expression is sad and defeated. It breaks my heart. “I’ll stay here in the library. Read up on anything that can help you find their weaknesses in war.”
I smile at him appreciatively. I know this can’t be easy. It’s like seeing his children go off to battle, not knowing if they’ll make it home.
After cleaning ourselves up and eating a hot meal, we arm ourselves for what’s to come. I had my archer’s dress cleaned so I can wear it again. I know it was something Runa gave me, and even though I’ve had moments where she wasn’t my favorite person in the world, she represents freedom to me. Her wild spirit. Her beliefs about equality. I wear these clothes with pride. I even have Ruth braid my hair the same way—half of my hair pulled to the top of my head, entwined with multiple skinny braids. Before we leave, I look at myself in the mirror. I’ve lost a lot of weight, my cheeks have sunken in, and my eyes have collected storm clouds.
But I’ve never felt stronger in my life. I have Dessin back. I’ve learned the secrets of our past. And for the first time in my life, I’m ready to fight back.
Dessin moves behind me in the mirror, sliding both arms around my waist and pressing me into the hard lines of his body. I lean my head back on his shoulder and sigh.
“You look ready to lay waste to a small country, Skylittle.”
My eyes peel open to get a better look at his softened features. “Kane,” I coo, smiling at the nickname that fills my heart with sweet memories of playing in the rain and climbing trees.
“I missed you, honey,” he says, husky and deep.
“I missed you too.” My heart throbs a little. I don’t know how it’s possible that I can love and enjoy their company on different levels. I don’t know how I’m not torn between any of them. And yet, Kane is my oldest friend, my best friend, and it’s his company that makes my heart gush with fond memories and the kind of love that is old and kind and pure.
“I have a bad feeling about going to this ship.” His actions don’t match his words. He places soft kisses on my cheeks, my jaw, and down the side of my neck.
“You seem… fine.” I arch my back into his erection. He groans at the sudden pressure, opening his mouth to suck on my neck.
“Either way, I wanted to see you before you left,” he adds softly in my ear.
I practically start purring at his hot breath slithering across my skin.
“And I wanted to hear you say it again.”
“Say what?”
“Say you love me,” he hums into my skin. “Tell me you love me, honey.”
My cheeks lift in a sappy grin. “I love you,” I say quietly. “I love you so much it hurts.” And it does. It’s a physical throbbing under my sternum. It’s barbed wire around my heart. It’s an ache that will never go away.
He sighs, breathing in my scent. “I’ve waited my whole life to hear you say it. My whole fucking life of watching you grow up, of watching you… develop.”
“Ohhh.” I poke him playfully. “You noticed when I got breasts, huh?”
His large hands drag up my stomach and over the swells of my chest. He squeezes them gently, pushing his cock harder against my ass. My panties are instantly soaked.
“You used to sit in my lap and practically shove them in my face. Puberty… sucked around you, honey.”
I bark out a laugh. It’s still so strange to think how much history we share. How much we know about each other. He must have been so devastated when I lost those memories, when I forgot every precious moment that meant anything to us.
“I still have so many memories I want to reminisce with you,” he says, a touch of sadness thickening his voice.
I turn to face him. “When we get back from the ship, we’ll stay up all night reminiscing. We’ll steal trays of food, sit in front of the fire, and talk until sunrise.”
His hands cradle my face, and he looks down at me like I’ll never in a million years understand how much that would mean to him. “Then I’ll wait for you, Skylittle. I’ll always wait for you.”
As we load into our buggies to head out to the shore, I glance over my shoulder to see DaiSzek watching us. Knightingale waits a few feet behind him.
My entire body seems to ache at the sight. I don’t want to leave them. And as I glance to my right, I can see that Dessin doesn’t either. His face wears the same scowl it usually has, only now his eyes have darkened.
We walk up to DaiSzek, kneeling in front of him.
“It’s only for a little while,” I say, scratching behind his ears.
“I know you want to come with us, but we have to keep you far away from Vexamen, buddy.” Dessin places a hand on my shoulder, peeking over at Knightingale. “Not to mention, you have a new member of your pack that needs training.”
DaiSzek huffs. A sign of discontent. His version of an eye roll.
I lean my forehead against his large snout. We linger there for a long moment while Dessin rubs circles over my back.
I love you so much, DaiSzek. Since the day we found you as a pup.
“Come here,” Dessin says in an uncharacteristically light voice. The tone you use with a child. He uses a finger to signal to the pouting Ginger Wrathbull.
Knightingale curls her upper lip, growling at DaiSzek before approaching us. It’s as if she’s reminding him who the real boss is.
Dessin and I laugh.
“You’re a part of our family now, girl. That means we usually stick together. But this time, you’re going to have to hang back, keep these assholes in check while we’re away.”
I snort, smiling at Dessin as he talks to her like a little girl.
“We protect our family. One day, you’ll learn to love DaiSzek like we do.” He scratches her muscly head, smirking as she pushes up against him, wiggling her butt at an inhumanly fast pace.
“We’ll be back,” I promise them, standing to walk away. It feels wrong. Like we shouldn’t be separated. But it’s the right thing to do. I would never risk their lives with Vexamen.
Stepping into the buggy, Marilynn jumps in beside Niles.
“I’m getting on the ship with you,” she tells us matter-of-factly.
“What?” I ask.
“You have two people who don’t know how to protect themselves from an attack going on board. You’ll need one more pair of hands to keep them safe. I can shadow Niles, Warrose shadows Ruth.” She doesn’t say it, but the energy surrounding her is something lethal. A quiet danger that sneaks up on you in your sleep. The Crimson Kres spend their entire lives undercover, blending into a corrupt society and spying on their targets in plain sight.
I know Dessin can sense that violent potential as well.
Dessin cracks his neck. “There’s a plan in place. I really hate deviating from plans.”
Or not.
Marilynn adjusts her long, burgundy braid. “No deviation. I’ll just shadow Niles.”
“I really don’t need a babysitter,” Niles grumbles. “The enemy takes one look at me and wouldn’t dare harm this gorgeous piece of ass.”
I roll my eyes but looking at Ruth makes us both crack a smile.
“Yeah, okay, you can come.” Dessin nods his head at Marilynn.
She nods quietly, keeping her eyes on her lap.
“Fine, I’ll allow it.” Niles points an authoritative finger toward her. “But I’m in charge.”
Dessin shakes his head like he’s annoyed, but a ghost of a smile melts over his mouth, and I slump happily in my seat.
Once on shore, we pull the lifeboat out to the water, complete with secure carriages for the babies. Everyone is armed. The plan is rehearsed. Yet rot begins to take root in my stomach. Watching Warrose help Ruth into the boat and Niles fumble into his seat, I finally understand the weight Dessin has always had to carry on his back.
Their lives are these delicate rose petals in my hand. A gust of wind could take them away from me forever. This is why Dessin has always wanted them to stay out of the way. Not only do we have to successfully get each baby off the ship, but once they’re off, we have to find the boiler room and blow up the place.
No pressure.
Aurick grips the back end of our boat, looking into my eyes with anxious caution. I can see how much our trip into the Prison Void has affected him. For the first time, he looks guilty, like he’s straining to maintain eye contact.
“I’ll be right here when you all return to shore,” he says, making a visible effort not to look at Marilynn. “No hero moments. If you can’t blow up the ship, just get out and get back to us.”
Dessin leans back in his seat with a dark look of suspicion. “You care about our well-being now, huh?”
His venomous eyes slide over to me. “You really did a number on those sociopathic tendencies of his.”
It’s refreshing to know that Dessin hasn’t changed. He will still make a jab at Aurick any chance he gets.
“Make sure no one lays a hand on Chekiss, DaiSzek, or Knightingale while we’re gone,” I tell him, letting a murderous intent line my words.
Normally, we’d bring DaiSzek and Knightingale in case things got bad. But Dessin and I agreed we absolutely would never risk Vexamen getting a hold of DaiSzek again. Not with how they would have treated him in their homeland.
“You have my word.”
And we’re off, rowing silently across the sea, merging with the perfect cover of fog, so the Breed will never see us coming.
