Ruth and Niles walk me steadily to my room.
They don’t ask me why I did it, don’t look at me in disgust as someone else’s blood drizzles down my chest. They keep their eyes forward, guiding me into the washroom as Chekiss closes the door behind us.
“Arms up,” Ruth says calmly. I do as she says, slowly, awkwardly. Niles and Chekiss turn away as she undresses me.
The faucet turns on, and Ruth tries to get me to move, to lift my leg and step in the tub. But I don’t know what happened. I’m trying to process how I got from point A to point B, but everything moved so fast. I moved so fast. My blood rushed to my head, my hands began swinging, and before I knew it, I was stabbing someone.
“I’ve got her,” Niles tells Ruth, scooping my naked body up in his arms and placing me in the bathtub. I’m shivering, crossing my arms over my chest as Ruth pours water over my head, using a yellow sponge to lather in soap.
Niles and Chekiss face the door but don’t leave the room.
“What’s going to happen to me?” The words definitely come from my mouth, but I don’t recognize my voice. It’s like a ghost.
Ruth dumps a pitcher of water over my head before she starts scrubbing. I close my eyes.
“Nothing, child. It wasn’t your fault,” Chekiss says somberly.
“Did I kill him?”
Ruth cleans my face. “I’m sure he’s fine.”
But as I open my eyes, I watch the tub fill with pink water. Runny blood streaming down my breasts. I shake my head. “I think I killed him.”
“The bastard deserved it.” Niles crosses his arms, and Chekiss shoots him a disapproving look.
My body is numb even though I’m surrounded by warm water. I wiggle my toes, clench my hands into fists, and try to remember how it all happened. What exactly made me snap?
“I don’t know what’s happening.” My thoughts. But that voice is so distant, so detached.
Chekiss turns around and kneels to my side, careful not to look at my body.
“You’ll stay here with me while they save DaiSzek, okay? You’ll rest and I’ll watch over you.” His calm, fatherly words make me want to cry. “We can talk about it when you feel a little better.”
“She’s coming with us.” A dark, masculine voice rolls over the washroom with unquestionable dominance.
I look over Chekiss’s shoulder to see Dessin has opened the door and is standing face-to-face with Niles.
Niles looks over his shoulder at us with a raised eyebrow. “I was too scared to tell him to leave.”
Chekiss works his jaw. “She’s not in the right mind to do this.”
“She can handle anything I can handle,” Dessin tells him. He sounds so tired, so overcome. “How quickly can you have her dressed?” he asks Ruth.
But Ruth looks like she’d rather not answer. Her big brown eyes flick to me, a question of what to do.
I nod. “I’m okay,” I mouth.
She sighs, looking back to Dessin. “Ten minutes.”
The only sounds are the faucet dripping. A long, stressful moment of silence.
“Let’s give them privacy, please.”
Please? Dessin doesn’t say please. What is going on with him? What’s going on with me?
Chekiss squeezes my hand once, and Niles steps into my line of sight. “We’ll be just outside if you need us.”
Ruth helps me out when everyone files out of the room. She wraps me in a towel, pats me down until I’m mostly dry, and rushes to the dresser to find me similar hiking clothes.
“We’ll be with you the whole time you’re out there, okay?” Ruth fastens my brassiere, pulling a tight cotton tunic over my head. “You’re not alone. Anytime you need me out there, just hold my hand.”
I nod absently. “Okay.”
My boots go on next, and once I’m dressed, she gets me a glass of water.
“We’ll take it slow, do as we’re told, and be back with DaiSzek before sunset.” She braids my wet hair down my back, giving me a soft pat on the shoulder.
“Ready?”
I sigh. Not really. My stomach is twisting in tight knots, my brain is foggy, and I’m pretty sure I need to vomit. But I say yes anyway.
I mentally check out while Dessin gives a presentation of the forest and all of the traps that are laid out to the unit that’s accompanying us.
He memorized every single bomb, trench of spikes, swinging blades, and snares they have planned for us. We’re supposed to follow his lead. Every footstep exactly.
And he makes everyone wear a satchel covered in dried welven piss, one of the top predators of Hangman’s Valley. It’ll keep most of the beasts away from us, letting us walk through undetected.
He’s thought of everything.
But I hardly paid attention. My mind is buzzing with flashbacks and gory images, and I don’t know how to deal with it. My whole life, I’ve let people walk all over me because I’d rather be hurt than hurt back. It’s just my nature. I’m a nurturer. Not a fighter.
As we follow the Emerald Lake River and descend into the forest line of Hangman’s Valley, Dessin makes Niles, Ruth, and I stay in the middle of the unit, protected, walking carefully in his footsteps as he and Aurick lead us down a specific path.
I take shallow, uneven breaths. I can’t shake the feeling that we’re cattle being led to slaughter. We just have to make it to the shoreline, and Dessin will know what to do. If we can just uncage DaiSzek, he’ll be able to slaughter the soldiers.
But the doom hangs like a sword over my head.
I think we should go back.
“If the black beast doesn’t finally love me after this quest, I’ll be pissed,” Niles whispers to us.
Ruth elbows him, snickering.
The light footsteps of our unit echo through the forest like a muffled drum. The soldiers around us are dressed in their merlot-red wool blazers with bronze tassel linings, despite Dessin warning them to blend in. They cling to their belts of weaponry, eyes darting through the tall collection of rubber and cannonball trees. It doesn’t exactly resemble the forests we’ve traveled through before… but a jungle.
It’s colorful, with the massive orange-and-red fruits from the scraggly cannonball trees. There are birds squawking from the branches, pecking at their nests, a humid wind ruffling their multicolored feathers.
The group comes to a stop, waiting for Dessin to give a signal. Two soldiers lower a thick wooden bridge that stretches eight to ten feet.
We’ve reached the first trap.
Dessin and Aurick cross it first, testing out the durability. They nod once it’s determined to be safe. Everyone crosses it, two at a time until we’re on the other side of a nearly invisible trap. A deathly trench was dug and disguised with branches, vines, and moss. Ruth sighs as we continue to march forward.
I just want this to be over.
I want to see DaiSzek’s large cinnamon eyes again and run my hand over his soft, shiny coat. I want to go back to the time when it was just the three of us, on the run, learning more about each other without the stress of the asylum.
But here we are, climbing over the thorny weeds, wiping sweat from our brows, and waiting to meet the deadliest soldiers of this world.
After fifteen minutes, we stop again, Dessin making a downward signal with his hands. Everyone drops to the dirt, flat, waiting to see what he does next.
Dessin flings a branch the size of his arm forward; it flips and rotates in the air until it hits the ground, making a loud snap. Suddenly, a whip slices through the air, a foot or two above our flattened bodies. The air shrieks at the speed. Low-hanging branches are chopped from their tree trunks, sprinkling to the ground collectively.
Ruth gasps next to me.
It reminds me of what Dessin did the time he saved me from Albatross. He lost the group of motorcycles that were chasing us by triggering the same bladed contraction.
Warrose is behind us, helping Ruth and me to our feet as we continue to move.
“How are you holding up?” he asks me, voice low and secretive.
No one approached me about the incident. They avoided looking at me entirely. Probably in fear that Dessin would lose his temper if he caught anyone gawking.
“I’m fine,” I say.
Warrose releases a breath. “I’m sure you are.” He clears his throat. “I just—I wanted you to know… Dessin and Kane—they’re my brothers. That makes you family too.”
I refuse to look at him, at those serious seafoam eyes.
“Which means… I’ll always be here for you. No matter what.” Even after you murder someone, have a breakdown, and lose your sanity. But he’s too polite to tack those on.
I swallow, feeling my heart fumble at his sentiment.
Family.
We follow in a precise line around a few puddles of water. Dessin tosses a pebble into the one closest to him, the size of a watermelon. There’s a sharp hissing sound as the puddle boils, a yellow smoke rising from the dissolving rock.
Jesus.
They were hoping our unit would walk through it, burning off our feet. Crippling us before we could even reach them. My stomach flips. What if he didn’t catch all of their traps? What if he misses a single one that kills us all?
But it’s Dessin, I remind myself. Ten. Steps. Ahead.
We continue on for miles, dodging hundreds of carefully hidden snares, pitfalls, and land mines. At one point, Dessin throws a small knife, aiming it in the center of a bush. It lands with a wet, cracking sound. A Vexamen spy watching us.
The winds carry subtle noises of animals growling, howling, or squawking. But nothing approaches. The satchel seems to do its job for all of us.
The men grow wary as we close the last few yards to the shoreline. Their hands swipe at the sweat flowing down the sides of their faces.
White noise. Crashing, rushing, splashing sounds. A rough breeze carrying the aroma of salt, murky water, and fish.
Warrose leans into Ruth and me. “That’s the sound of the ocean.”
Wow. It’s so loud.
“I’ve never seen the ocean,” Niles whispers under his breath.
None of us have.
Dessin and Aurick crouch low, reaching the thick tree line that separates us from them. We gather around quietly. Warrose, Niles, Ruth, and I squat behind Dessin and Aurick.
The wall of vines and weeds acts as a curtain to keep us hidden, but we can still see through the peepholes. A gray sky, crystal clear water that goes on to the horizon, never ending. I focus on where the sound is coming from. Waves roll on top of each other, crashing onto the sandy shore over and over again. If I wasn’t trembling with adrenaline and crippling anxiety, I might smile, laugh, celebrate that I’ve made it this far.
Dessin points to a ship on the horizon. A large wooden beacon with a black-and-red flag. Then I see what he’s actually pointing at. The soldiers scattered across the shore like organized ants. They’ve prepared for a fight. Weapons hanging from metal racks, shields stacked in the sand, and flaming wooden stakes spiked around an iron cage.
DaiSzek’s cage.
They’ve made a fortress of ten feet tall bonfires around him. Keeping everyone out of his circle. Keeping us away from him, unable to reach our boy without being burned.
“We can attack from their left and right. Not head-on. And someone has to release DaiSzek; he’s our best bet at a quick slaughter,” Dessin says quietly, only speaking to the five of us.
“I can get him out,” I say.
They look at me with wide eyes, like the helpless little doll has finally spoken.
“No.” Dessin turns his head to continue watching. Ending the debate before it has even begun.
I point over his shoulder to a bucket by one of the small boats. “If I can fill that bucket with water, I can extinguish one of the fires. I can get it.”
Dessin turns to me, eyes surrounded by heavy dark shadows and reddened brown eyes. I blink in surprise. How have I not noticed how drained he looks? How much stress he’s taken on because of me?
“Even if you managed to get it, there’s a huge brass lock on that cage.” He points to it. We all lean in to see the massive chunk of metal hanging in place. “We need a skilled soldier to get there.”
That burns. But he’s not wrong.
“I’ll go with her,” Niles offers. “If someone gives me a dagger, I can pick the lock. I had to learn when I was a kid.”
I whip my head back to Dessin. “You need every skilled soldier fighting. Let us do this.”
Dessin blinks slowly, clearly not comfortable with this.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Aurick hisses under his breath, nudging Dessin to look at the formation of soldiers again.
We all shift in our squatted stances, squinting to see what he’s upset about.
I nearly fall over. Every muscle locks up.
Babies. There’s a boat lined with babies. Our babies.
“They’re smuggling them from the city.” Aurick is shaking, his pale face now red with horrified shock and hatred.
They’re taking the babies to raise as one of them. Psychopathic soldiers in the Vexamen Breed. I can’t close my mouth.
“We need three to five men that will get the babies out of here while we fight. They need to bring them out of harm’s way, into the forest.” Dessin works out a plan, mapping it out in his mind.
“If they get them to me, I’ll keep them all together, stay with them until DaiSzek is freed and the fighting is over,” Ruth offers, her featherlight voice contrasting with the masculine grumblings. At least she’ll be out of harm’s way too. And she’s right, someone has to stay with them.
Dessin looks back at her for a few seconds. “Okay, but douse them with your satchel when you get them all together. It’ll keep any stray beasts away.”
She nods quickly.
Dessin sighs, scoping out his battlefield again. “Warrose,” he says without looking back at him. “Stay close to her.”
A bucket of chills is poured down my back. The command in his voice is strong yet pleading.
Me.
I feel Warrose tense, then nod at my side.
Aurick leaves us to pass word to his men. And we sit in silence until Dessin looks around at our group. Only, he blinks a few times, like he’s awakened from a nap. Sleepy, puzzled, and trying to understand his surroundings.
“Can I have a moment with Skylenna?” he asks the group. A soft, warm voice. Kane’s voice.
They nod, falling back to give us some space.
Kane turns to me, dropping down to his knees. Leveling his gaze to meet mine.
“I lied before,” he prompts, low and strained.
“I know.” Ice-cold words like venom from my lips.
“After we kissed under the waterfall. I lied. I told you it didn’t mean anything to me.”
My armor softens, and I lose my breath.
“That was a lie, Skylenna.” He swallows, eyes glistening with tears. “That kiss was my whole world, honey.” His chest is moving rapidly as if he’s in the midst of battle already. And I can see that he needs to get this out. He’s dying to tell me what’s in his heart. “Years ago, I promised you I’d take you under that waterfall when you were old enough and give you our first kiss. I’ve—I’ve waited so long to keep that promise.”
My eyes water. I was the person he promised. The night Dessin and I swam in the lagoon, he told me he promised someone he’d wait to go under there. But it was Kane that made the promise.
To me.
How long have we known each other?
“Can you forgive me? For lying to you?” he asks, reaching for my hands.
“I can… for that lie.” I pull my hands away. “But not for the others. Until I learn the truth, I just can’t stomach your betrayal.”
He looks down at the space between our hands, nodding with a sad smile.
“I understand.”
It’s the slow dissociation, deserted, unfocused eyes that tell me he’s gone. Dessin is fronting again. And I’ve never been so gutted, so torn on what I feel.
But I have to be strong. I won’t let him get away with this. Men have always walked all over me, hit me, bruised me, and lied to me.
Dessin looks to Aurick for a nod that they’re ready. Then flicks his gaze back to me, ignoring the fact that there are tears blurring my vision.
“You wait until every man is fighting. Then, you and Niles work fast to free him. Once he’s out, run like hell back to the forest. Wait for me here, understand?”
I sigh. My insides burn and grumble from the anticipation.
“Skylenna, answer me,” he orders.
“Yes. I understand.”
He nods once, and the unit separates. Half of them move to the far left and the other half to the far right, leaving Niles, Ruth, and me alone.
