“OCTOBER CALHOUN! IS THAT YOU?” A sweet voice called down from the opposite end of the candy aisle.
It was nine o’clock on a Friday night, and the entire store was seemingly desolate. Granted, most twenty-somethings would probably rather spend their time after a long week of work drinking away their sorrows while trying to forget about having to wake-up Monday morning and doing it all again. Then there were people like me, perusing each and every aisle as I filled my arms with three different types of chips and sour candy because I’d convinced myself that I wasn’t going to need a cart when we walked in.
Surprisingly, October and I hadn’t murdered each other on the short car ride over. Although, we did get into a little quarrel about what kind of music should be playing—he wanted house music, but I obviously protested. Never in my life had I listened to that god awful music at my leisure, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to start today.
“Donna! Lovely to see you. How are the boys?” October ambled over to bear hug the strawberry-blonde-haired woman that was at least half his size. Something about her looked familiar, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on where I’d seen her before.
“Oh, they’re as ornery as ever. Little Tommy started playing in Tiny League this year and Cody has convinced everyone that he’s the team’s water boy. The coaches got him a polo with the team’s logo on it and everything.” The two of them laughed in unison.
“No way. Some of the guys and I will have to drop by their practices sometime before the season ends.”
“Please do! Their friends would love it.”
I cleared my throat at the lull in the conversation, standing off to the side awkwardly.
“Forgive me, Donna. This is my friend April Showers.” The upturn of his lips pissed me off. He knew I hated it when he called me that. “April, this is Donna. Coach Kirby’s wife. He’s our offensive coordinator.”
“What an… ironic name.” The woman’s eyebrows scrunched together.
Oh, it was just absolutely perplexing, wasn’t it?
Donna made a motion to shake my hand while eyeing the mound of snacks I was shuffling around to free up a hand to extend to her. She pulled a face at my selection—dill pickle kettle chips, maple bacon Pringles, butter garlic ruffles paired with four types of sour gummies that were, let’s face it, the same thing with different shapes and packaging. God, I wished I had never made my presence known. Blending into the background would’ve been less awkward than this.
Anyone know if it was possible to evaporate entirely?
Someone.
Anyone.
Please.
Oh, so the answer is, no? That’s great. Really, really great.
“You’re telling me,” I muttered with an artificial smile as I briefly took her outstretched hand into mine and gave it a small shake.
October opened his lips, likely to say another idiotic remark, but I cut him off with a kick to the shin as the woman turned to grab two packs of peach rings off the shelf. The counterfeit smile I was sporting didn’t falter in the slightest, though the wince sound he made might’ve given me away.
When my dads adopted me, they had a difficult time coming up with a name that they both agreed on. Until one night when they were watching Barefoot Contessa and decided that a three-letter first name would pair well with our ironically matching last name, Garten. They settled on a variation of May since that’s what month it was, and neither saw a problem with the fact that they had quite literally named me “May Garden” with a botched spelling.
Of course, October found a substantial amount of humor in making fun of me for it over the years. Making each knockoff name more absurd than the last.
April Showers. May Flowers. Sunflower Summers. Autumn Falls. Breezy Winters.
It was never ending.
Although, I’d take these weird dummy nicknames over his typical “March baby” any day.
“Anywho, lovely to see y’all, but I’ve got to get going now. Just had to stop in here and get Jason something to snack on this weekend. You know how he gets on game day… nervous as a nellie munching on whatever he can get his hands on.”
“Coach does love peach rings.” October leaned in and gave her a parting hug and she patted him on the back a couple times before they broke apart. “I’ll talk to him about getting some of the guys together and coming to one of the boys’ practices sometime.”
“All right, honey. I’m so glad I got to see you. Remember to play safe on Sunday.” Donna looked over her shoulder, and waved him off as she pushed her cart away.
For a split second, I contemplated what it would be like to be October’s girlfriend— disgusting, I know. I’m ashamed that I even had that thought to begin with. Is this what it would be like though? Friday nights at the grocery store catching up with old friends instead of lavish dinners?
Ew.
Shaking my head, I pushed the deranged thought out of mind.
“I’ll be right back. I need to get some paper towels and dishwasher detergent.”
The sheer audacity of this man was astounding.
“How is it that I’m the one who begged to come to the store, but you’re the one who has a full list of items you need to get.”
“Keep up with your complaining and I’ll make you walk home.”
I groaned, rolling my eyes at him and giving him the finger despite my hands being full. “Get a cart while you’re up there.” I shouted to him before he left the aisle.
Rounding the corner to the freezer section, I perused the frozen pizza options for a while before deciding that ice cream, while not necessarily more nutritious, would be the better option as my main course.
A dark-haired lady in her late-forties to mid-fifties reached for the handle of the freezer door next to mine in unison with me. I gave her a friendly closed-mouth smile before transferring my attention on the vast ice cream selection in front of me.
Perusing through the pint-sized options, I silently debated back and forth between the options for a quick second before deciding to get both birthday cake and chocolate brownie crunch. I placed them on top of the mound of snacks I’d already accumulated and let the door slam behind me.
“Sorry,” I apologized to the woman, thinking the repulsed look on her face was from the loud noise of the door shutting. However, the disgusted once-over she was giving me told me that this had nothing to do with the freezer.
“You should really learn to put on some clothes.” She turned up her nose, giving me a once-over with a disgusted look on her face.
Jealousy was a disease. And unfortunately for this woman, I wasn’t immune. I’d spent countless hours from the ages of thirteen to twenty-three being picked apart, ridiculed, and called every horrible name under the sun. While also spending a majority of my time with some of the most beautiful people on the planet—by society’s standards, of course.
Whatever this deeply insecure woman had to say to or about me wasn’t even penetrating the thinnest layer of my mind. Especially considering the fact that I was wearing a boring workout top and athletic shorts. If she considered this to be scandalous, I’d hate for her to see the rest of my closet.
Normally, I would take the high road and choose to “kill them with kindness”. Maybe it was because I had been around October too much lately… or maybe it was the way she could’ve just gone about her night without having to be a cunt to random strangers. Either way, I wasn’t feeling like mustering up any kindness right now.
“Why?” I smirked. “Are you jealous?”
The woman scoffed. “I’d never be jealous of a skank like you.”
Boo-fucking-hoo. My feelings were soooo hurt.
I internally rolled my eyes. Though, I wouldn’t have been surprised if I had accidentally done it externally as well.
What was with people these days, anyhow? Was there a reason people felt the need to just say whatever bullshit came to their mind without filtering it through their brain first? At least when I was modeling, I was getting paid to listen to people’s unrefined, unsolicited thoughts.
Long gone were the days where people plastered on a fake smile when they didn’t like someone and gave them a condescending “bless your heart”. Then proceeded to keep their mouths shut until they got home. Then, and only then, did they run through the entire scenario aloud while voicing all of the things they’d wished they said to your face.
Those were the good days—no matter which side of the equation you were on. Gosh, I missed it. I know what you’re thinking, “Mae, doesn’t this logic apply to October, too?”, and the answer to that is hell no—no explanation necessary.
The woman continued to stand in front of me with her arms crossed over her chest and a scowl on her face that accentuated her forehead wrinkles. I eyed who I assumed to be her husband who was coming down the aisle based on the fearful look in his eyes. I gave him a long head-to-toe stare down while licking my lips before returning my attention back to the woman who was trying to ruin my night. “Why? Worried I’ll fuck your husband when he finally decides to divorce you?”
The man laughed under his breath as he placed a twelve pack of beer in the cart and came to stand next to her.
Unexpectedly, October came up behind me and placed one hand on my waist while he took my grocery items out of my hands. My annoyance from this situation must have drowned out the sound of the cart he had brought with him. “Hey, babe! You finally found someone to help fulfill that hotwife fantasy of yours?”
He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I peered up at him with knotted brows, he shot me a quick micro-expression urging me to play along. “Yeah, I did… what’s your name, again?” I wrapped a hand around October’s back and reached up with the opposite one to interlock my fingers with his hand that was hanging off my shoulder.
Poor lady’s husband looked like a deer in headlights standing in front of us blinking rapidly like he could see his life flashing through his eyes. “Our hotel is just down the block. You’re more than welcome to come back with us. As long as you’re… okay with an audience.”
The woman’s face turned fire truck red and it took everything in me to keep my composure and not burst out laughing. “We’re leaving… now.” She stormed down the aisle leaving her full cart in the dust. “Larry. Now,” she called back.
“I—I, uh…” he sputtered, not having moved a muscle.
“Maybe he’ll be down for a spit roast. I know you’ve been wanting to try that for a while now.” October’s voice was far more seductive than it should’ve been.
I peered up at him with a taunting smile “Yeah, I have. What do you say? Is that something you’d be interested in?”
Glancing to my right, and the guy’s eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head. Poor dude, probably hadn’t gotten any action in ages by the looks of it.
“Larry!” His wife barked from the end of the aisle.
“Bye, Larry.” October and I broke apart our hand hold to finger wave as he stared at us slack jawed while he walked backward down the aisle. “Call us when you get bored.”
We watched with smug smiles until he rounded the corner out of sight.
October peered down at me longingly. “We make a good team.”
I stared at him with a blank expression that slowly turned into my eyes narrowing and my mouth opening in surprise. “That’s… just no. Now get your arm off of me.” I shuffled out from under his touch and my entire body cringed in disgust.
Sure, it was nice to poke a little fun, but us being a “team”? Get out of here. In what universe did that seem logical?
“Yeah… I regretted saying it as the words were coming out.”
“Do you think they’re going to come back for the cart?”
“Not a chance.” He laughed, grabbing the handle of our cart and following me to the register.
At checkout, I caught October staring at me out of the corner of my eye. He had a subtle smirk on his lips and not a single brain cell behind his eyes.
“Stop looking at me like you’ve seen me naked.”
“I have seen you naked,” he said matter-of-factly.
“The good shoppers of Publix don’t need to know that, though,” I scolded with a whisper.
October turned his attention to the long, black-haired, college-aged cashier who had an equal number of tattoos as him. “I’ve seen her naked.”
The girl eyed me up and down slowly. “Can I see you naked too?”
This man. I swear. I can’t be seen in public with him.
Do you see the kind of shit he gets me roped into?
“I admire the confidence, but absolutely not.”
She shrugged off my rejection and continued scanning our groceries.
I turned to look at October with a scowl. “See, this is why I can’t take you anywhere.”
“Oh, you didn’t tell me you were planning on us going out to more places together.” His smirk only made my displeased expression more prominent. “Geez, ask me out to dinner first, March. I’m not a piece of meat.”
“Yeah, he’s not a piece of meat.” The cashier echoed loudly with a glare as she scanned my Pringles. People in other checkout lanes all twisted their heads to look at us.
Jesus, someone remind me that the Friday night shoppers are a tough crowd next time.
Take the high road, Mae. Take the high road.
A light bulb flashed in my head, but I maintained composure as I eyed October staring at the cashier girl with a satisfied grin.
One little moment of weakness was all I needed to make my move.
“Oh, I know he’s not a piece of meat… he’s a cash cow, actually.” I smirked, perking up as I snatched the kettle chips she’d just scanned off the belt before the bag boy at the end could grab them. Cracking the bag open, I turned back over my shoulder with a little wave as I walked away. “Thanks for paying for me, Toby boy.” I winked over my shoulder as I headed toward the exit.
“You don’t have the—’
“Keys?” I finished for him, waving the keychain I’d snatched from his back pocket while he was reveling in the high of his “victory” of embarrassing me. “Better be nice or I’ll make you walk home.”
Back in the car, October and I sat in comfortable silence for the first half of the ride.
“We should get to know each other,” he said confidently without taking his eyes off the road.
“What is wrong with you?” I turned and gave him a blank stare from the passenger seat. What was up with him tonight? “Did you block out the part where we met when you were six or something?”
“No, March.” He rolled his eyes like I was the one asking the dumb question. “I mean, sure, I’ve known you for that long, but I feel like I don’t know you, you know?”
“That’s a lot of ‘knowing’.” My lips quirked as he snatched a handful of chips from the open bag in my lap and shoveled them into his mouth.
“You’re impossible,” he said after a minute. And I could’ve sworn—I’m talking, willing to place big money bets on it—that he had the tiniest twinge of a smile on his lips as he spoke.
“What do you want to know?” I asked, but cut him off before he had the chance to respond. “Wait—I have an idea! Why don’t we… I don’t know, play a drinking game or something?”
“Or something?” He lifted a brow, looking over at me for the first time since we’d gotten into his truck.
The best part about being best friends with someone like Lea was that she’d taught me far more about seduction than I ever would’ve learned on my own. In her world, the art of seduction and having a cunning personality were the key to getting whatever she wanted. Most days, the tips and tricks I’d picked up from her went unused. But now that October was around, I couldn’t help but give some of them a try.
What October didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. Right?
A wry smile turned up the corners of my lips as I lifted a shoulder. “Or something.”
