BEEP. Pause.
BEEP. Pause.
BEEP. Pause.
My heart clenched as I stood in the doorway listening to the perpetual sounds the heart rate monitor made. October laid there in the hospital bed with his eyes closed, random wires hooked up all over his body. The bedside table didn’t have any get-well-soon cards or flowers yet, which, for some reason, made tears flood to my eyes.
On a normal day, he was a six-foot-three, two-hundred-thirty-pound tattooed God of the human. Right now, though, laying in this bed under the low light he looked so… small. Fragile. Helpless.
Seeing him like this felt like my heart was being cracked in two while taking a sucker punch to the gut. Even more so than watching him get hauled onto a stretcher and carted off of the field mid-game.
I wanted to run to him, curl up into his arms, and never let go.
But something inside my brain wouldn’t allow me to move. Instead, I stood there, half way between his room and the hallway, shell shocked with my feet planted in place. Afraid that if I made one wrong move as I inched closer to him, that he would shatter into a thousand pieces.
There was no way of knowing how long I stood there like that.
Hours. Days. Seconds.
My knees felt like Jell-O.
Regardless of how long it was, it felt like time had stopped and I was the only person in the building. My heart beat frantically in my chest as I counted for four breaths, then held it, then exhaled.
It was only once a doctor placed a hand on my shoulder and asked if I was all right that I was pulled out of my trance. I gave her a small smile to mask the fact that I was hardly able to stand up right. Any moment, I felt like I could’ve collapsed to the floor and curled up into a ball on the cold, hard ground. All while nurses and other hospital staff buzzed around me.
“Are you family?”
“Yes,” I lied without hesitation.
At that moment, there was no one else who was more of his family than me. His parents and sister had long since moved to Massachusetts, and it would still be another two hours before they could catch a flight down here. So, if it meant lying to this doctor that I was his family then sue me.
“Sister?”
“Uh… yes?” My voice jumped an octave and the blonde-haired doctor gave me an uncertain look before brushing it off.
“Well, he’s in stable condition, but he suffered a mild head and neck injury. He was really lucky… had he been hit differently; it could’ve been a lot worse. We’re planning to keep him overnight for observation, but he should have a full recovery as long as he takes it easy for a while.” She gave me a reassuring smile. “Some of the team’s staff just left, and it looks like he’s resting now, but you can go in there and wait for him if you’d like.”
I gave her a quick nod, mumbling my thanks as she rounded the corner toward the nurses station. With every ounce of strength I could muster, I took one step forward into the room, and then another until I was standing over him at his bedside.
I squatted down next to the bed, slipping my hand into his and running my thumb over the back of his. He stirred in the bed uncomfortably for a minute before his eyes started to budge open.
He had been here for a while now and it tore me to shreds knowing that he didn’t have a friendly face with him. Scarlett and I tried to leave the stadium as quickly as we could after we saw him getting carted off the field, but since it was the final few seconds of the game, traffic leaving the stadium was a nightmare.
What was typically a twenty-minute drive, turned into two and a half hours as we sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic while our minds raced with worst case scenarios. Once we arrived at the hospital, they made us wait for over an hour until all of the Matrix staff had left before letting one of us come back here.
Scarlett and I tried pleading with the administrative ladies, but they didn’t budge, telling us that they had to follow the proper protocol that was set in place for instances like this since there would soon be a swarm of reporters filling the lobby waiting to find out details of his injury, so they could be first to break the news.
Scarlett tried texting Abel—who ended up scoring a touchdown to win the game—to see if he had any updates from the athletic trainers, but despite his efforts he wasn’t able to find out anything more than what little we already knew. Staying in the waiting area for an hour before hearing anything was torture.
How was it possible that sixty minutes could feel like sixty hours and six seconds all the same?
“Hey, baby.” October’s voice was low and delicate. “You came.”
“Of course.”
“I’ve been waiting for you.”
I tried to keep a strong front, holding back the tears in my eyes as I roamed my gaze over his face to see if it would give me any indication as to whether or not he was in pain. The lump in the back of my throat only seemed to grow tenfold, begging—praying—to be let free.
“I, um, got you a gift.”
“Dum-Dum’s?” He flattened his hand, signaling for me to let him have it.
“Yeah, I found some in the gift shop downstairs, but they called me back right after so I didn’t have time to pick out your favorite flavors though, sorry.”
After forty-five minutes, I couldn’t take it any longer. I had to get up and do something to distract me from the endless spiral of worst-case scenarios swirling in my head. The gift shop was small, mostly filled with stuffed animals and balloons with get well messages and “it’s a girl” announcements written across them in big bold letters.
I spent all of five minutes perusing around the tiny space attempting to find something for October when he woke up, but nothing seemed fitting. Until I got to the very back corner that had an assortment of candy bars and gummies. Then, there on the bottom shelf, was one lone back of Dum-Dum suckers that just felt… right.
Symbolic, even. As we closed off one chapter and jumped into a new one.
The moment I saw him go down on the field, my heart felt like it was being ripped from my chest, and it was right then that I knew that I was in love with him. The hatred that I’d once harbored in my heart for him had dissipated.
To the outside eye, I’m sure it was obvious. Hell, I think Scarlett knew long before I did. The only person left to tell was him.
A weak smile tugged at the corners of his lips that made my heart crack then stitch it back together all the same. “Come here,” he whispered.
“Are you sure?” I shuffled closer to the edge of the stiff looking bed, but still kept a foot of distance for good measure. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“The only thing that will hurt is my feelings if you don’t come here. Don’t you know it’s rude to kick a man while he’s down?”
I sighed.
Yup, same old October.
He scooted over to make space and I slipped into the stiff bed next to him, curling up against his side. I made it all of a minute before a handful of hot tears flooded to my eyes, pouring down my cheeks faster than I could wipe them away.
“Hey… what’re those for?” He lifted a finger under my chin and tipped my face up towards his. The sorrow that was laced in his stare only made my tears fall harder. “I’m fine, baby. I promise.”
“I’m sorry,” I sucked in a breath, and then another. “I was just so…”
“Scared?”
My frown deepened and I gave him a weak nod. “Don’t ever do anything like that ever again. It was terrifying.” I laughed, but my words were coated in truth. “Can’t you switch to kicker or something? I feel like their chances of getting hurt are much less.”
“I’m pretty sure it’s because we broke my seasonal celibacy.”
“You can’t believe that’s real.”
“It is,” he said, so sure of himself. “I knew I shouldn’t have given into your taunts.”
Unfortunately for him, he was really going to have to get out of that mindset, because there was no way we were going to abstain from sex for seven months every year for the foreseeable future.
We could try all he wanted, but the guy couldn’t be in the same room as me at a party or event without sneaking over to whisper all the dirty things he wanted to do to me once we got home.
Doubtful he would make it seven months.
“I told the doctor I was your sister.” I laughed, pitifully, placing my forehead against his.
“It’s going to be really awkward when you kiss me then, isn’t it?”
Pressing my mouth against his, a calm, secure feeling washed over me knowing he was going to be okay.
“I love you.” He pulled back, whispering against my lips.
“That’s a horrible decision on your part, really,” I countered, pulling back with a playful smile.
October leaned in, kissing me gently before pulling back and giving me a weak smile that tugged at the corner of his lips. “Just say likewise.”
“Likewise.”
