“Billie?”
I heard Deek call my name but was only sort of half listening. “Hmmm?”
“I’m going to run out and get a smoothie. You want one?”
I continued to sterilize the equipment I’d been cleaning for a while until a high-pitched whistle grabbed my attention. I looked up to find Deek with his brows raised.
“You want one or not?”
My nose wrinkled. “Want what?”
Deek folded his arms over his chest. “Alright, that’s it. Sit your ass down.”
“What? Why?”
“Because you and me, we’re going to have a talk.”
“Why do you sound like you’re in dad mode?”
“Just sit, Billie.”
I rolled my eyes but tossed the paper towel in my hand into the garbage before planting my butt in my hydraulic chair. “What’s up?”
Deek pointed at me. “You’re fucking miserable.”
“I am not.”
“You’ve been cleaning crap for almost two weeks now. You’re the person who spills shit and leaves it long enough that you yell at someone else to clean it up because you no longer remember you did it.”
I squinted at him. “I do not.”
Deek turned his head toward the front of the store. “Hey, Justine!”
“Yeah?”
“Who spilled the purple juice that sat on the floor for six months?”
“Billie. Why?”
“And does Billie ever clean?”
“Only when she’s pissed off or sad.”
Deek turned back to me. “So, like I was saying, you’re so miserable that even our customers are feeling it.”
I took offense to that. “I don’t give bad tattoos, even when I’m in a bad mood.”
“Didn’t say you gave a bad tattoo. But the poor girl who walked in here the other night wanting a butterfly walked out with the Grim Reaper on her arm, Billie.”
I shrugged. “So? The Grim Reaper is way better than a butterfly.”
“I agree. But the girl wanted a fucking butterfly. It went with her annoyingly chipper personality. But when she asked your opinion, you told her most people who get butterflies are shallow ex-cheerleaders who live empty lives and wind up marrying for money that they blow on bad Botox.”
Had I really said that? Oh God. I guess I had. Yet I shrugged. “Well…it’s the truth.”
Deek smiled. “Of course it is. Who the fuck wants that shit on their body? But my point is, you’re usually good at vibing with a client and giving them what they want, even if it is unoriginal and boring.”
I sighed. “I went out with Eddie last week.”
“I knew that. Figured you’d tell me about it when you were ready.” He paused. “Wait, that fucker didn’t do something to you, did he? I’ll stick a dumbbell up his ’roid-riding ass…”
That made me smile. “No, Eddie was a perfect gentleman. He didn’t even complain at the end of the night when he went in for a kiss and I stopped him.”
“So what’s bugging you?”
“Well, while I was on my date, Colby texted me. Holden was at the same place Eddie and I were, and he told Colby I was on a date. Colby was really hurt.”
Deek frowned. “Why don’t you just go out with him already?”
I hesitated for a moment before speaking quietly. “Because I’m scared, Deek.”
A giant smile spread across my friend’s face. “It’s about fucking time you admitted it.”
I flipped him the bird and shook my head. “Every damn time I’ve put myself out there, I’ve gotten hurt.”
Deek walked over and put his hands on my knees. “I get it, sweetheart. It’s not just guys you dated who have screwed you over. Your mother and that deadbeat father of yours didn’t exactly instill trust through their actions either.”
I shook my head. “Colby makes me feel things, Deek.”
“I know. Why do you think I’ve been pushing for him so hard? I see it in your eyes, babe.”
“I’m so afraid I’ll get hurt again.”
“Aren’t you hurting now, though?”
“Yeah, but it will be easier to get over him if we never get involved at the next level. Plus, he’s got a daughter. I don’t even know if I want kids.”
Deek smiled sadly. “The kid thing is just an excuse, and you know it. I’m kinda tired of hearing it. But it’s your life, so I won’t keep bugging you about it. Though I’m gonna say one last thing.”
“What?”
“I don’t think we ever get over the one. I’d rather try and get hurt than spend the rest of my life wondering what I might’ve lost.”
***
A couple of hours later, Deek and Justine were getting ready to leave for the day. Deek went into the back to use the bathroom, and when he came out, he thumbed toward the rear of the studio.
“I think the AC is broken again.”
Oh crap. I was warm, but I’d thought it was just me. There was a vent in the ceiling above the station next to mine, so I hopped up on a chair and held my hand to feel if anything was blowing. “Ugh. Nothing’s coming out.”
Deek shrugged. “I turned it off and on when I was back there. No luck.”
I sighed. “By tomorrow when we open, it will feel like ninety in here with this humidity. And we have a packed Saturday and Sunday schedule.”
“You want to call the super, and I’ll stay and wait for him?”
I shook my head. “No, it’s fine. I don’t have any plans anyway. I’ll do it and stick around.”
Deek nodded. “I’ll lock the door and set the alarm behind me. Call me if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Deek. Goodnight, Justine.”
After they left, I debated texting Colby. He’d told me to let him know if the unit gave me any more trouble. Though of course, he wasn’t the super and probably didn’t want to speak to me. I should probably call Holden, who was in charge of maintenance. Then again, Colby was already familiar with the unit, so it made more sense to call him. Plus, he was my landlord, so we were going to have to learn to co-exist. He couldn’t ignore me forever.
I dug out my phone, scrolled to his name, and hit call. On the second ring, he picked up.
“Hello?”
“Hey. Um, I’m sorry to bug you, but the AC at the shop stopped working again.”
He was quiet for a solid ten seconds. “Are you there now?”
“Yeah.”
He took so long to speak again, I was starting to think he’d hung up. “Fine. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
For someone who was not interested in moving things out of the friend zone with Colby, I sure ran to the bathroom to clean myself up fast enough. It was the first time in a while I’d felt excited, too.
Great, I’m so desperate to see this guy that broken air conditioning thrills me.
A few minutes later, Colby knocked. I turned off the alarm and opened the front door with a hesitant smile. “Hey.”
“Hey.”
He stepped inside. As he passed, I got a whiff of his delicious cologne. Wasn’t it bad enough that he was dressed in a form-fitting dress shirt and a pair of slacks while carrying a toolbox? That stupid red box was like catnip to me. Did he have to smell good, too? But while I was busy trying to put a fire extinguisher on all my feels, Colby seemed all business.
“Is the unit running?” he asked.
“I don’t think so. Air isn’t coming out.”
He nodded and headed to the back to double-check the vents before resetting the system.
“Deek already tried that.”
He nodded and bent to his toolbox, pulling out a screwdriver. “Was it blowing cool all day, then just stopped, or was it warm for a while first?”
“I think it just stopped. It was fine in here most of the afternoon.”
He didn’t say another word as he unscrewed the unit’s cover and pulled it off.
“Is…everything okay with you?” I asked.
“Sure.”
Colby’s cell phone rang, so he dug it out of his pocket and swiped to answer. I only heard one side of the conversation.
“I’m downstairs,” he said. “The commercial tenant on the ground floor has a problem with the AC that I needed to take a look at before we go.”
Quiet…and then…
“Well, do you mind coming here and getting the keys? It’s a tattoo parlor called Billie’s Ink. It’s right downstairs from my place.”
Pause again.
“Alright, see you in a few.”
Colby tucked his phone into his pocket and went back to working on the AC unit in silence. But I just couldn’t help myself. “I, uh, hope I didn’t interrupt anything?”
His eyes slanted to me. “You did.”
I blinked a few times. “Oh. I’m sorry. I should’ve just called Holden.”
“It’s fine. I’m here already.”
Talk about the cold shoulder…
A few minutes later, the front door opened and an absolutely gorgeous woman walked in. She had on a little black dress and looked classy. But for some stupid reason—maybe I was in denial or something—even though he’d just told someone on the phone to meet him here, I didn’t put two and two together until Colby walked over to the woman. Oh my God. She’s his date. I felt like I wanted to throw up.
The woman smiled and waved to me as he approached. “Hi! Don’t mind me. I’m just picking up a key.”
Colby dug into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys, placing them in her hand. “I’ll meet you upstairs as soon as I’m done.”
She smiled. “Okay…but don’t be too long. Le Coucou is all the way down on Lafayette, and we’re still going to hit traffic. I don’t want to be late.”
“I won’t. If I can’t fix it pretty quick, I’ll call Holden to take over.”
The woman wiggled her fingers at me and flashed a pageant-worthy smile. “Bye. Sorry I interrupted things.”
I felt my cheeks heat with jealousy—or maybe it was anger. I wasn’t sure which one surged through my veins faster.
If Colby noticed, he didn’t say anything. He went right back to working on the AC unit like I wasn’t even here.
I lasted all of three minutes in silence this time. “So…Le Coucou. Sounds overpriced. Oh, and I guess I’m not the only one going on dates?”
Colby looked over at me. He held my eyes for a few seconds but didn’t respond. Again, he just turned his attention back to the damn AC unit.
“She’s beautiful, if you like the plastic, beauty-pageant type…”
Colby stopped working and turned to give me his full attention. “You’re jealous.”
I lifted my hand to inspect my nails. “I am not.”
“Can’t even admit that, huh?”
“Well, there’s nothing to admit. Because I’m not jealous. I was just stating the obvious about her looks and the restaurant.”
He nodded. “Riiiight.”
“I am right.”
Colby took a step closer. “So it wouldn’t bother you if I told you I was going to fuck some other woman?”
I gritted my teeth. “Not at all.”
He took another step toward me. “What about the thought of me wrapping another woman’s hair around my fist while she’s down on her knees and I’m fucking her mouth?”
I closed my eyes at the visual. “You don’t have to be a pig about it.”
“Apparently I do.” He raised his voice. “Because it’s the only goddamn way I can get a reaction out of you, Billie!”
My eyes sprung open. Colby took another step forward, causing me to take one back. Then he did it again. Eventually my back hit the wall. He placed one arm on either side of my head and lowered his so we were eye to eye.
“You know what I wanted to do to that guy you were on a date with the other night, Billie? I wanted to rip his head off and fuck you against a wall so hard you’d have no choice but to remember who you belong to.”
My heart raced out of control. Colby moved his head closer. We were practically nose to nose. “You know what I think? I think you’re just as jealous as I am.”
“I am not.”
The heat between us sparked so hot, it felt like my entire body was on fire.
“Liar.”
“I’m not lying.”
“Bullshit, Billie! All I’d have to do right now is move two inches closer. Once we touched, you’d be begging me to fuck you, and you know it. Maybe I should do it. We’d both get our rocks off and feel a hell of a lot better. But I won’t do that to you. Do you know why?” He moved still closer and spoke into my eyes. “Because I don’t want your body without your heart.”
That did it. I could take jealous and angry, but that jab hit me hard. Tears welled in my eyes. Seeing them, Colby’s face immediately fell. He took two steps back, put his hands up, and shook his head.
“Fuck. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. It’s just… I don’t know how else to get through to you, and it’s so goddamn frustrating.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry I got in your face and said those things, Billie.”
I stayed quiet, still trying to fight back tears.
Colby blew out an audible breath and shook his head. “The woman who was just here? Her name is Caroline, and she’s my sister. She’s married with two kids and lives in Jersey. My dad is throwing my mom a small surprise party tonight. Caroline bought Saylor a special dress to wear. It matches her daughter’s. She came by to help her get ready and do her hair.” He closed his eyes and spoke softly. “There’s no way I could go on a date or be with another woman. You’re all I think about, Billie.”
I felt the wall around my heart crumbling, so I excused myself and went to the bathroom. I stayed inside for at least ten minutes, trying to get a hold of my emotions. When I heard people talking in the studio, I figured I couldn’t hide anymore.
The beautiful woman—who was apparently Colby’s sister—was back, holding Saylor’s hand. I hoped neither of them would notice how red my face was as I tried to act as normal as possible. “Hey, Saylor.” I bent down. “Wow, that’s a beautiful dress. I bet it flairs out really pretty when you spin around.”
Saylor was thrilled to demonstrate. She twirled, making the tulle bottom of her dress puff out like an umbrella. I smiled.
Colby looked at his sister. “Would you mind giving us a minute, sis?”
Caroline looked between us. “Of course. Saylor and I should go call the Uber anyway.”
Once the two of them were out of earshot, Colby stroked my cheek. “I have to go to the party before I ruin the surprise. Could we have breakfast tomorrow? Please?”
When I didn’t respond, he continued.
“It won’t be a date. But we need to talk. We can’t leave things fucked up like this. I’ve been going crazy the last two weeks.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
He kept his hand on my cheek as he moved in and kissed the other one. “About nine at the diner down the block?”
“Okay.”
He packed up his toolbox and headed for the door. “Oh, and I fixed your AC. Apparently the new fuse I put in last time somehow came loose.” He winked as if he thought I’d done it.
“I did not unscrew anything.”
He grinned. “Whatever you say.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re so full of yourself.”
He went to leave again but only made it one step more before stopping. “One other thing…”
“What?”
His eyes raked up and down my body. “Don’t wear a corset tomorrow. I’d like to be able to think straight.”
***
The next morning my train got stuck on the way to meet Colby for breakfast, so I was a few minutes late. He stood from the table when I walked through the front door of the diner, and relief washed over his face. But then his eyes dropped to my outfit, and that face changed to something entirely different. Of course I’d worn my favorite lace corset—one that left very little to the imagination.
“Hey.” I smiled as I walked over.
Colby shook his head. “You’re evil.”
I pretended I had no idea what he was talking about. “My train got stuck.”
His eyes were glued to my cleavage. “I might need to yank the tablecloth from the table and wrap it around your top half.”
I winked. “But if you do that, you won’t get to enjoy my corset.”
He pointed to the chair across from him. “Have a seat please, so I can sit. Otherwise, we might need the tablecloth to put over my lower half to keep me from embarrassing myself.”
I chuckled. The waiter immediately came over and handed us menus, and we both asked for coffee.
Colby looked at his watch. “I only have about forty-five minutes, unfortunately. Brayden’s watching Saylor, but he needs to leave by ten.”
“It’s fine. I have to get to work anyway.”
The waiter returned with our coffees and asked if we knew what we wanted. I’d been sitting for all of thirty seconds, so I hadn’t even opened the menu he’d handed me. I lifted my chin to Colby. “Do you know what you’re having?”
“I think I’m going to get eggs benedict.”
I offered my menu to the waiter. “Make that two, please.”
“You got it,” he said.
Once we were alone, Colby took a deep breath. “Before we talk, I just want to apologize again for last night. I should never have gotten in your face and made you upset.”
“It’s fine, Colby. It wasn’t a big deal.”
His face was serious. “It was to me. It’ll never happen again.”
I smiled coyly. “Really? Because it was kind of hot.”
His brows shot up, and then he grinned. “Oh yeah? Can I take back that commitment to never let it happen again?”
I laughed.
“Anyway…” he said. “On that note, I’m going to get straight to the point. I got upset because I like you a lot. I’m extremely attracted to you, which I think is pretty obvious, but it’s more than that. I freaking think about you all the time, Billie. Like, it might border on unhealthy.”
My heart fluttered, and my belly felt warm and mushy. “I like you too, Colby.” I paused. “But you scare me. Plus, I have major trust issues, and I don’t want to put that on you.”
He reached across the table and laced his fingers with mine. “We’re only scared of the things that mean something to us.”
I sighed and nodded. “I know.”
“I’ve given this a lot of thought. I can tell you I’m not going to hurt you and you should trust me a million times, but that’s not what you need. You’ve heard that song and dance too often from people who didn’t keep their word. The only way you and I are going to work is if I can earn your trust.”
“How can you do that?”
“By spending time together. Not dating, because you need to be sure before you jump into that, so more undating. Except this time, we commit to each other that we also won’t be dating anyone else.”
I chewed on my bottom lip as I thought it over. “So we’ll be, what, exclusively undating?”
Colby leaned back in his seat and smiled. “Exactly.”
The reality of my situation was that I either needed to completely disconnect from this man, or take the baby steps he was suggesting. Considering how miserable I’d been for the two weeks we didn’t see each other, I didn’t want to run away anymore. So I took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I think that’s a good idea. We were doing well undating until I thought you were with someone else and then I stupidly went out with Eddie.”
Colby groaned. “Don’t even say that guy’s name, please.”
I smiled. “Okay, but you have to promise never to mention the threesome you missed out on.”
He lifted my hand to his lips, dropping a sweet kiss on the top. “Deal.”
Too soon, we were back at my shop. I was the first one to arrive, so we stood in the doorway, just the two of us. Colby weaved his fingers with mine and swung our joined hands back and forth. “I wish undating ended with a kiss,” he said. “But unfortunately, that’s not the tradition.”
“No?”
He shook his head. “Nope. Undating ends with a sniff, not a kiss.”
I giggled. “What kind of a sniff?”
“Ah, I’m glad you asked. Let me demonstrate.” He leaned in and buried his face in my hair, brushing his nose slowly up my neck as he inhaled until he got to my ear. Then he let out a warm breath with a groan. “God, you smell so fucking good.”
Every hair on my body stood at attention. I was about five seconds away from breaking the undating no-kissing rule already…until a voice blinked me out of my stupor.
“Get a room,” Deek grumbled. “Some of us have to get to work.”
I pulled back like someone had splashed a bucket of cold water over my head. “Oh, sorry.”
Deek chuckled. “Let me through, and I’ll open up instead of watching you two. Besides, hetero voyeurism isn’t my thing.”
Colby chuckled. “I gotta get going before Brayden kicks my ass, anyway.” He looked to me. “Undate tomorrow night?”
“Okay.” I smiled.
“I’ll call you later once I figure out the details.”
I waved as he went down to the building’s residential entrance. Deek had his key out already, so he stepped in front of me and unlocked the door. “So I guess my air-conditioning trick worked?”
“I knew you did that!” We walked inside. “You’re such a jerk. Colby thinks I did it so I’d have an excuse to see him.”
Deek grinned. “You’re welcome, sweetheart. I’m glad everything worked out and you guys are going to give dating a shot.”
I shook my head. “Oh, we’re not dating. We’re doing something he calls undating—kind of spending time with each other without the pressures of dating. But we’re not going to see other people while we do that.”
Deek bent his head back in laughter.
“What’s so funny?”
“The fact that you’re dating this dude and don’t even know it.”
