I’d thought I had a good life before Billie came along. I’d convinced myself I was totally fulfilled just being a dad to Saylor, that I didn’t need anything else for the time being. I’d probably needed to tell myself that in order to get through those difficult early days.
But since Billie and I had decided to give it a go, I’d realized how much I’d been missing: how much my sexual appetite had needed to be satisfied, how much I’d needed mental stimulation. And boy, did Billie satisfy all my needs. Intoxicated wasn’t strong enough of a word to describe how I felt when it came to her. I only hoped it wasn’t temporary. Trying not to analyze that had become my biggest challenge. But it was human nature to wait for the other shoe to drop when everything was going perfectly, right? All too often, when you let your guard down, life stepped in and ripped you a new asshole.
Lately, Billie had been sneaking upstairs in the middle of the day to meet me when I came home for a quick “lunch break.” We had sex any chance we got during the day because Billie hadn’t been spending the nights at my place yet. We’d both agreed it was too soon, treading lightly because of my daughter. During one particular afternoon tryst, we’d rocked my damn bed so hard that the headboard had banged against the wall. There was now a significant hole in the spot.
Thus the reason for Holden’s maintenance visit Thursday afternoon. I’d asked him where in the supply room he kept the plaster and other materials to fix the hole because I’d wanted to patch it myself. But he’d insisted on coming by. And I just knew he was going to have a field day with this.
When he knocked, I opened, attempting one last effort to send him away. “Hey, man. You really don’t need to do this. Why don’t you just give me the materials?”
Holden ignored me, looking around the apartment. “So where is it?”
“My bedroom,” I said, bracing for the reaction as he followed me in there.
“What are you doing home today anyway?” he asked.
“The nanny has the day off, so I worked from home. I have to pick up Saylor from school in an hour.”
As soon as he got to my room, he asked, “Where’s the hole again?”
“Behind the bed.” I moved it out to show him.
He smirked. “You dirty dog. Right behind the headboard. No wonder you were so shady about it. You fucked your way to a hole in the wall.”
I rolled my eyes.
“I thought I was the only one who’d done that type of thing around here.” He laughed. “But apparently not.”
“This is why I wanted to do it myself—to avoid your ridicule.”
“No ridicule, my dude. Just admiration.” He set his supplies on the floor. “And a little bit of jealousy. Don’t kill me for saying that. I know how possessive you are of Billie.” He laughed. “So, I take it things are banging between you and her. No pun intended.”
“You could say that.”
“I’m happy for you, man.”
“Thank you. I’m happy, too. Truly happy in every way for the first time in a long time.”
“Billie is amazing.” He moved my bed out farther and placed a drop cloth below where he’d be working. “So, you think this is it? Is she the one?”
I let out a long breath. “It feels like it, but you know what? There’s still some stuff up in the air, so I’m just trying to enjoy it, take it day by day.”
“By some stuff, you mean the fact that you have Saylor, right?”
I really didn’t want to get into this today. But I should’ve known nosy-ass Holden would want the full scoop on everything, including what was going on inside my head.
I sighed. “I’m not the one with a decision to make, you know? Being with Billie is a no-brainer for me. But it’s not that simple for her. Staying with me means she has to decide if she wants to be a mother to Saylor. I’m sure that question is always in the back of her mind.”
“I get it.” He nodded. “Not to make you feel bad, but I’d probably run the other way if I were her.”
“Thanks.” I rolled my eyes. “I can always count on you for brutal honesty.”
“Anytime.” He smirked. “But you know…you do have one thing going for you.”
“What’s that?”
“You have a massive dick.”
“That’s going to make her want to be a parent?”
“Possibly. Big dicks have a way of working miracles.”
“Thanks. Then I shall rub mine and chant after you leave.”
He cackled. “I do that every night. Doesn’t work for me. I haven’t found the one yet.”
“I don’t think you’re looking for the one. You’re looking for the three,” I taunted. “Am I right?”
He shrugged. “Perhaps. For now.”
It would be interesting to see if Holden ever settled on one person. I used to wonder the same about myself, and look at me now. So anything was possible, I suppose. But if I had to guess, I would still say Holden would be the last of us guys to settle down, if ever.
We shot the shit for almost an hour while he worked to patch the wall.
“I’ll try to be more careful with the wall next time,” I said as I helped him clean up.
“Are you kidding?” He flashed a mischievous grin. “I’ll be disappointed if I don’t have to come back to fix it again.”
***
That night, I asked Billie to come have dinner with Saylor and me. Billie suggested buying stuff to make our own pizzas because she thought Saylor would have fun with that. And she insisted on picking up all the ingredients after her shop closed for the day.
She texted me from the grocery store.
Billie: What kind of toppings does Saylor like?
Colby: She likes pineapple, actually. You can just buy the canned kind. And bacon. That combo.
Billie: Interesting combination for an interesting girl. Okay. What do you like?
Colby: What do I like? That’s a loaded question.
Billie: LOL. No need to hold back.
Colby: Quickies in the laundry room with you after Saylor goes to sleep. My cock in your mouth. My dick buried deep inside you anywhere, anytime I have the chance. My cum on your tits. The list is endless.
Billie: You have a one-track mind.
Colby: You know it. I’m addicted. To answer your original question, I’ll eat anything—but I do have a favorite thing to eat. Can you guess what that might be?
She responded with a photo of a can of pineapple up against her chest. Her corset today was a burnt orange color I didn’t remember ever seeing before. As usual, I was paying more attention to what was inside of it though.
Billie: This can okay?
I couldn’t help messing with her, because who’s looking at the damn pineapple can when it’s up against her heaving chest?
Colby: Can or cans? Those cans are fucking perfect. God, hurry up and come home so I can nuzzle your neck when Saylor isn’t looking. (That brand is fine.)
My use of the word home wasn’t lost on me. We were far from living together, but I still felt like her place was with me, that somehow my home was hers now, even if she didn’t sleep here. Have I mentioned that this woman makes me deliriously happy?
Billie: Not done yet! Still have to find the sausage. And don’t you DARE make a sausage innuendo.
Colby: Why you rainin’ on my parade?
Billie: Get it over with then.
I laughed as I typed.
Colby: I’ve got a sausage for ya. 😉
Billie: Feel better now?
Colby: Much.
Billie: Okay, in all seriousness: sausage and pepperoni for us. Pineapple and bacon for my girl. Gonna get some fresh basil to sprinkle on top, too. I’m excited!
Colby: I’m excited, too.
Billie: Why do I think you’re not talking about the pizza?
Colby: I am most definitely not talking about the pizza. Get your ass back here, beautiful.
After Billie arrived at my apartment, she got to work straight away, pulling things out of bags and laying all the pizza ingredients on the counter. Saylor sat atop one of the stools and watched as Billie got everything ready.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have a rolling pin, so Billie improvised with a wine bottle to spread out the dough.
I leaned against the counter. “I’m impressed with your ingenuity.”
“Why, thank you.” She winked.
I wished I could have reached over and kissed her, but we weren’t going there in front of Saylor.
Flour flew through the air as the two girls kneaded and rolled the dough. Soon both of their outfits were covered in white. I loved that Billie wasn’t afraid to get messy—especially when we fucked.
Once the dough was ready, it was time to start assembling the pizzas. Billie cooked the sausage with some onions in a pan and put that aside. She opened up all of the other packages and placed the toppings in bowls. This kitchen was gonna be a bitch to clean up, but it was well worth it to see the continuous smile on my daughter’s face.
I watched how patient Billie was as they made the pizzas together. For someone who claimed to have little experience with children, Billie was a pro.
By the time the pizzas were in the oven, as expected, the kitchen was a total mess: drippings of pineapple juice, scattered shredded cheese, bacon grease. But it was a beautiful mess. It was life—an example of the life that had been breathed into this place since Billie joined us.
After dinner, Billie surprised Saylor with a princess cupcake she’d picked up from the supermarket bakery. My daughter clearly enjoyed it, because by the time she was finished, she had frosting in her hair and somehow in her eyes.
Billie took Saylor to the bathroom to wash up as I got started cleaning the kitchen so it no longer looked like the Pillsbury Doughboy had exploded up in here. I stopped what I was doing from time to time to listen to the sounds of laughter coming from down the hall.
I want this. Every night. But I knew it would be stupid to assume Billie would want the full-time responsibility that came along with it. Time would tell, and I just had to be patient.
Before bed, Saylor asked Billie for a bedtime story. “No book!” She squealed.
Billie looked over at me for guidance.
“That means she wants you to make up something off the top of your head,” I told her. “She likes to challenge me all the time.”
She tickled Saylor. “You’re so silly. You’re not gonna make this easy, huh?”
Saylor giggled.
Billie sat at the edge of the bed and took a moment to think as Saylor settled under the covers.
“Okay, this story is called The Tattooed Witch,” she said.
My daughter curled into her as I stood at the doorway, listening in.
“Once upon a time, there was a tattooed witch. She lived in New York and owned her own tattoo shop where she drew tattoos on people all day long.” She paused. “One day, a prince walked in and asked her for a tattoo. But the tattooed witch was having a very bad day, so she sent him away.”
“This story sounds familiar,” I said.
“It might be a bit autobiographical.” Billie winked.
“What happened to put the witch in a bad mood?” I teased.
“She had an encounter with the evil Sir Tinder that left her in a bad way.”
“Ah. Okay. Go ahead with the story.” I laughed.
She turned to Saylor and continued, “The witch felt very bad about being rude. The next time she saw the prince, she cast a spell on him in the hopes that she could have a second chance.”
Saylor looked up at her. “Magic?”
“Yup. A magical spell.”
“What happened?” Saylor asked.
“It worked! The prince kept coming back. And he even took her on a date once to the magical island of IKEA.”
I chuckled.
Saylor grinned. “What else happened?”
“The witch’s cold heart started to melt. After a while, the tattooed witch didn’t feel like a witch anymore. She felt like a princess—not because she was an actual princess, but because the prince made her feel like one. The witch cast the spell on the prince, but in the end, she was the one who’d been transformed.” Billie looked over at me and smiled. “The end.”
Saylor’s eyes widened. “Did they live happily ever after?”
She hesitated. “I like to think so.”
Good answer. I sure as fuck hoped the witch and the prince ended up together, and had lots of amazing sex along the way.
After we put Saylor to bed, Billie looked deep in thought as she sat next to me in the living room.
“Saylor is really happy when you’re around,” I said, interrupting whatever she’d been ruminating about.
“Yeah, it surprises me how much I love being around her, too.”
I traced the tattoos on her arm and decided to open up. “Probably the only thing I’ve worried about when it comes to you and me is whether you would want this life for the long haul. I never want to pressure you to think about it, but I also feel like we’re at the point where I’d like to know if you could possibly see a future with…both of us.”
She didn’t immediately say anything. I felt like I might come out of my skin as I waited for her to speak.
“I’m not gonna lie…” she finally said. “In the beginning, I was worried about my ability to fit into this equation, to care for a child the way I would need to. But I want you to know, I no longer see things that way. If things don’t work out between us, it won’t be because of my fears about Saylor. Anyone would be lucky to have her in their life.”
“Wow.” I kissed the side of her head. “Thank you. I feel like I can breathe a little easier.”
“That’s been on your mind tonight?”
“Yeah. It’s hard not to think about it when I watch you with her.”
“I still think we need to take things slowly, though,” she said.
“Agreed…but…”
She raised her brow. “What?”
“Does that mean I can convince you to stay the night?”
Billie squeezed my knee and sighed. “I don’t know…”
“Saylor always sleeps through. We can get up early and get you out of here. Even though I had that fantasy about taking you in the laundry room, I’d much rather take my time and do it in my bed. We just have to be quiet. No holes in the wall tonight.” I wasn’t above begging. “Please…” I said, sounding like Saylor when she’d asked me for a second helping of dessert. Except I wanted way more than two helpings of Billie.
“What if she gets up and sees me?” Billie whispered.
“I’ll lock my door. I still have a baby monitor, and I can hook it up so we can hear her if she gets up. Even in the worst-case scenario, if she saw you here, she’s young enough that she doesn’t understand sex. So I think we’ll be fine. She’ll just think you’re sleeping over. She’d probably be thrilled.”
Billie’s expression softened to an impish grin. “Can I think about it while you pour me a glass of wine?”
I inwardly did a victory dance and stood up to fetch my girl’s wine. “It would be my pleasure.”
Just as I was opening the bottle, there was a knock at the door. The only people who’d knock on my door at this time of the evening on a weeknight were the guys.
“Are you expecting someone?” Billie asked.
I put the bottle down and headed for the door. “No. It’s probably Brayden or Holden.”
I should’ve checked the peephole. Then maybe I wouldn’t have nearly had a heart attack the moment I saw her. It took a few seconds because it had been a long while. Her dark hair was a bit longer, and she was thinner than I remembered. But the cold eyes were the very same.
The words wouldn’t come to me, so I stood there speechless for several seconds as panic started to seep in.
What the hell does she want?
The woman I knew only as Raven was the first to speak. “Hi, Colby.”
Still nothing. I didn’t know what to say. All I could think was, What the fuck is she doing here, and how the hell do I make her magically disappear before Billie catches on?
“Who the hell is she?” I heard Billie say. My eyes were still firmly on the woman standing at the door.
Remember when I was talking about how the other shoe always drops when things are going well? Well, the other fucking shoe had just landed at my door.
I finally managed the words to answer Billie’s question.
“This is Saylor’s egg donor.”
