Once inside Farthenwood, I made every attempt to avoid Mott and Tobias. I had nothing to offer for real conversation and too many thoughts filled my mind to leave room for idle chatter.
With nothing better to do, I took to wandering the halls, and inevitably found myself on the lower floor of Farthenwood, standing inside Conner’s dungeon. It wasn’t clear to me why I felt compelled to come here. Maybe it was just to be able to stand here as a free person, to know that I could choose to leave any time I wanted.
“I didn’t think you’d come down here.”
I turned to watch Mott walk down the stairs. He came to stand beside me and folded his arms.
“I didn’t think so either,” I said.
“You brought me to your side in this room, you know. Everything I had believed about Conner changed here.”
“How could you ever have worked for him, Mott?”
“It’s all I knew. And I swear that I never knew the worst of his crimes.”
“He never spoke of his plans?”
Mott thought for a moment, then said, “A week before he killed your family, Conner mentioned that your father had grown suspicious of the regents and had begun requiring searches upon their every entry into the castle. I never thought about it then, but in hindsight, I’m sure that complicated his plans. If I had known, I would’ve stopped him.”
I nodded, and kicked at the ground with the toe of my boot.
He was quiet a moment longer, then added, “Jaron, can you forgive me for what happened here?”
“You whipped Sage, not Jaron.” He shook his head, not understanding, so I said, “Do you want forgiveness now because I’m Jaron, because I’m king? Would you ask for it if I were only Sage?”
Now Mott understood. He turned away from me and it looked as if he was unbuttoning his shirt. “Do you remember when Tobias cut your back? You told me the wound was from a cut on a window.”
It had been an outright lie from me, which I still regretted having to do. But it was the only way to force Tobias to back down from trying to become the prince.
“All you got was the loss of a day’s meals, and Tobias got no punishment at all,” Mott continued. “When Conner found out I’d tried to keep that from him, he gave me this.” Mott lowered his shirt enough to reveal a whipping scar on his back, not as deep as the one he’d given me but certainly enough to have caused significant pain, and I ached to see it. As soon as he’d shown me he raised his shirt again. Still facing away from me, he said, “I took that for Sage, not Jaron.” He left before I had a chance to say a word, as if there were any words I could have spoken then.
I found him again at suppertime in Conner’s small dining room. Tobias was with the cook, arranging final details of the meal, so Mott and I were alone. He rose when I entered and we stood at angles, too uncomfortable to face each other directly.
After a brief silence, I said, “The only reason I’m alive today is because of what I’ve done wrong in my life. My crimes may have saved me, but I never meant for them to harm you.”
Sadness filled Mott’s eyes when he looked at me. “Jaron —”
“You will never again ask my forgiveness for what happened in the dungeon.” It hurt to speak the next part. “And you will let me ask forgiveness from you.”
“That’s not necessary.”
“Maybe not yet.” I glanced briefly at him. “But it will be.”
“I know you’ve got some heavy concerns,” Mott said. “But we are friends. You can tell me everything.”
I shook my head. “No, Mott. Not everything, because you’re my friend.”
At that, Tobias entered with a tray laden with three bowls of stew. If he sensed the awkwardness in the room, he didn’t acknowledge it. “There’s no bread because the cook didn’t have time for it,” Tobias explained, serving me the largest of the bowls.
“This is enough,” I said. “Sit down, both of you. Let’s eat as friends tonight, and nothing less.”
Even so, the time passed in an uncomfortable silence, until Tobias asked, “Was it a surprise to see Roden last night?”
“The kind of surprise that makes your heart stop for a beat,” I said. “When I saw him again, I had wanted it to be on my terms, not his.”
Tobias nodded. “You should have killed him the night you were crowned, when you two fought in the tunnels. Why did you let him go?”
After taking another bite, I said, “Until last night, I didn’t think it was in him to harm me. I suppose that’s changed now.”
“The only thing Roden wants is to matter, to be important,” Tobias said. “If he has to hurt you to get that, he will. Maybe Gregor is right and you should be in hiding.”
I glared back at him. “You think I’d ever be so cowardly?”
“Enough of this!” Frustrated with me, Mott threw his spoon down. “If you insist on us not bowing to your royalty, then I’ll treat you like the obstinate boy you are. Why are we here? I demand an answer.”
“Or else what?” I grinned and folded my arms. “I can beat you in a sword fight, and we all know what’ll happen if you lock me in my room.”
“Nothing so complicated as that.” Mott also folded his arms. “I’ll simply decide not to like you anymore.”
My smile widened. “That’s a serious threat.”
“It gets worse. I’ll call you only by your title and quietly roll my eyes when you give me orders, and I won’t make it fun for you to insult me ever again.”
“Well, we can’t have that.” I couldn’t help but laugh and even Mott broke into a smile. My eyes darted from him over to Tobias. “If we must discuss the truth, then I need something to drink. I noticed a half-finished bottle of cider in the buttery. Not much but it’ll do. Retrieve it, will you?”
Tobias leapt to his feet and scurried from the room.
I turned back to Mott. “What if you don’t like what I have to say?”
“I rarely like what you have to say. So I’ll expect the worst.”
“I promise not to disappoint you there.”
Mott shifted in his chair, but I barely moved while we waited for Tobias to return. He came in a few minutes later with the cider and three goblets. I held out my hand for them and poured the drinks myself.
“You should have the most,” Mott said when I handed him his goblet.
I shook my head, insisting he take the cup that was being offered to him. “I already know my news. Trust me, you’ll want enough to drown your anger.”
He frowned but toasted a cheer in my honor. They drank to my health and long life. The part about health never concerned me, but I hoped the devils heard the part about my long life and were inclined to grant it.
I remained silent until Mott cleared his throat, prompting me to begin. I looked at him and said, “If I don’t turn myself over to the pirates in nine days, they’ll attack Carthya. They’ll fight until either I’m dead, or all of them are.”
“War,” Tobias mumbled.
“The regents have made it clear that they won’t support a war.” I took a slow breath. “They believe the best way to avoid war is to let the pirates have me. That’s why we’re here, and not where the regents wanted me to hide.”
“Just because they want a steward doesn’t mean they want you dead,” Mott said.
“Maybe not. But what if you’re right and a steward is chosen? Do either of you really believe that puts me out of danger? I’ll be sent to the schoolroom, to watch those fools pretend that all is well while our armies crumble.”
“Then find a way to prevent them from naming a steward,” Tobias said.
“Until I’m of age, I can’t stop that vote.” I shrugged. “I’ve already lost it anyway.”
Mott’s eyebrows were pressed close together and his hand was wrapped so tightly around his goblet I thought he might crush it. “And you have a solution to all this?” he asked.
I sat forward with the intention of speaking directly to them, but in the end my courage failed and I lowered my eyes to talk. After a moment’s hesitation, I said, “I’m going to the pirates, alone. You two will return to the castle without me.”
There was a long silence while the news soaked in. Mott spoke first, surprisingly calm. “I don’t believe you’d give yourself up so easily.”
“I’m not surrendering. I’m joining them.”
“What?” Mott’s eyes widened. “Jaron, no. Please tell me you’re not that foolish.”
Foolishness was a trait I could never deny with much credibility, but my temper warmed anyway. Pounding a fist on the table, I said, “I’m out of options. Every solution leads either to my death or to the destruction of my country. This is all I have left.”
“So your plan is to walk into their camp? How does that accomplish anything but helping them kill you faster?”
“What if I could turn the pirates’ loyalty? Get them on my side. Then if Avenia attacked —”
That was as far as I got before Tobias snorted his contempt for the idea and Mott began staring at me as if I had blisters on my brain.
“Exactly how do you plan to turn these enemies into allies?” he asked.
“I don’t know! But it’s better than the alternative.”
“Which is?”
I huffed. “The pirate Conner hired four years ago to kill me is a man named Devlin. He also provided the poison that Conner used to murder my family, and he’ll be the one behind the attack on me last night as well. If I can’t turn his loyalty, then I’ll have to remove the threat.” Feeling the racing of my heart, I added, “I’ll have to kill him.”
Those words hung in the air for a moment before Mott said, “And you’ll do this alone?”
I nodded.
Mott shoved his chair behind him and stood, then began to pace angrily. “Nobody comes back from the pirates,” he muttered. “Ever.”
“I did, four years ago.”
Mott stopped right in front of me. “No, you escaped the ship before the pirates were anywhere near it. Luck saved you that day, nothing more.”
Tobias tried taking the rational route. “What if they recognize you?”
“Roden and the man who came with him will be at sea. The other pirates would know my name, but not my face.”
“You can’t do this,” Mott said, shaking his head. “I won’t allow it.”
That made me even angrier. “I’m not asking for your permission, Mott, or your approval! You asked me to tell you the truth about my plans and I have.”
“Your plans will get you killed!”
“Doing nothing will get me killed! Staying at the castle and pretending everything is fine — that will get me killed!”
Mott’s face was fiery red, and I think if I were anyone else I’d have found myself thrown against the wall to force me to my senses. But that was not an option for him, so after taking a deep breath, he sat back in his chair and clasped his hands.
“You’ve made your decision, then?” he asked.
“I have.”
“Then here’s mine.” Mott stared directly at me and spoke slowly so I wouldn’t miss a word. “I will not allow you to go, not alone.”
My hands folded into fists. “As king, that is my order.”
“Forgive me, but the king’s order is the most reckless thing he’s ever said, which we both know is quite an accomplishment. If you want to stop me from dragging you back to Drylliad, then you’ll have to kill me here.”
“I can’t do that,” I said. “Who’ll make sure Tobias gets back safely? He can hardly cross a road without endangering himself.”
“I can too,” Tobias said.
Mott barely reacted and kept his focus on me. “Jaron, listen to reason. You are my king, but you can’t expect me to accept such a foolish plan.”
There was heat in my glare at him. “Perhaps you also want a steward for me, then, a nursemaid for the crown.”
“Maybe you need one.” Mott sighed loudly as if that would make me change my mind. Even though it would have been unfair to leave without warning them, I almost wished I’d have done it so we could’ve enjoyed this evening instead.
Getting nothing further from me, Mott put his hand on my arm. I looked up at him as he said, “If you must leave, then you will have to figure out how to bring me along, because I will not leave you alone. Whatever reckless plan is in that foolish, royal head of yours, it will have to accommodate me.”
I pulled away and swiped my other arm through the air, knocking over the bottle of cider on the table. Mott jumped back to avoid the splatter as it ran onto the floor.
I cursed, then stood and ran my fingers through my hair. “Give me until morning, Mott. I have a foolish, royal headache and I’m too tired to think about changing plans tonight.”
Mott nodded and wished me a good night before I had time to change my mind. Which was completely unnecessary because I had no intention of changing any part of the plan. It was true that my head throbbed and even more true that I was tired. But whether I waited all night or all month, one thing would remain the same: I was going on alone.
