The remainder of the afternoon was spent with Fink recounting to me every detail of his win against our opponents. It didn’t matter that I was there and had seen every moment unfold, or that the strategy had been my idea to begin with.
“Did you see their faces when I got the Queen?” he said. “Now they’re sorry.”
“They’re not sorry enough to ignore you now.” I tilted my head at a few of the men who were walking by. “And if you don’t hush up, they’ll come over and show you how not sorry they are.”
Fink laughed, but he did quiet down, at least until everyone passed us by.
I was sitting on a crate at the back side of the tent, looking out over the field where we had played. It was difficult to concentrate with Fink’s relentless talk, but eventually he became background noise, just a louder version of a chirping bird.
The field was empty now. The grasses had been laid flat by more than one game played there, but in the center of it all, a single wildflower caught my attention. It was bright purple and stood erect where a hundred others around it had been smashed. I wondered if it had somehow escaped harm, or if it had been stepped on before but refused to lie down.
After a while, Erick came to see me. He propped a crate beneath himself, then dismissed Fink, who said he had to find some food for his rat anyway.
“I’ve been thinking about what you did this morning with King Vargan,” he said.
I remained silent, though I had been thinking about it too. I felt lucky that it had worked out as well as it did, but that’s all it was: luck. I couldn’t hope to do what I needed to with the pirates based only on luck.
“How do you like it here, amongst my thieves?” Erick asked, changing tack.
“They’re as fine a collection of liars, brutes, and criminals as I might’ve hoped to be kidnapped by.”
“I think you wanted us to kidnap you from that tavern.”
With a slight grin, I said, “Actually, I hoped the pirates would’ve taken me that night. It would’ve saved me some time.”
“You’re a living paradox, Sage.” I felt the weight of his gaze as he added, “That bald man in the noble’s house immediately knew who you were. He clearly respected your reputation as a thief, or at least, he wasn’t happy to see you there.”
“He definitely was surprised,” I agreed.
“And for reasons you won’t share, you are obviously not on friendly terms with the king. Why is that? Did you commit some crime against him?”
“No.” Not yet anyway.
“Yet I’ve never heard of you. How is that possible?”
“I’ve spent my time in Carthya. I’m only here in Avenia because it’s gotten too dangerous for me there.”
“Ah. That’s why you didn’t want that noble to see your face. And why you couldn’t leave the bald one there alive.”
Not exactly, but Erick seemed content with his own explanation so I let him keep it.
“And if I bring you to the pirates tomorrow, will you go as their friend or enemy?”
“Neither,” I said. “There’s just nowhere else I can do what I have to do.”
“To get that treasure?” Again, I didn’t respond and Erick continued, “Listen, I’ll do everything I can to get them to accept you, but they’re always a dangerous group. More so in your case because there’s no history between you and them.”
I looked away, amused by the irony of his words. Erick didn’t seem to notice. He continued, “It’s not too late to change your mind. You think you want to be with the pirates, but I can sense your hesitation. Whatever you really want in your life, you could have it here.”
He spoke closer to my heart than he realized. I thought about those things I wanted most, the freedom to be who I wanted, to go where I wanted, and to live a life of my own choosing. It was true. I could have that here, away from the politics and pretense of Drylliad. Away from endless duties and obligations, and even from the fear and anger that had driven me this far. Staying here would be so easy.
“Don’t answer now,” Erick said.
“I have to.” The words took effort to force from my mouth. “Because if I don’t, my answer might change and I can’t risk that. I’m going with you tomorrow.”
“Even if it means you’ll never leave there again?”
“Yes, even if.”
Erick smiled. “That was a test, Sage. Though for a moment, I thought you might accept my offer.”
“For a moment, I thought so too.”
Erick clapped me on the back when he stood. “I suppose that’s the best I could ask for. Now go and get something to eat.”
Instead, I returned to my bedroll. Fink came over and watched me a moment before asking, “You hungry?”
“Definitely,” I said. “Get me some supper. I prefer to eat alone.”
His face twisted. “I’m not a servant.”
“Of course you are. Why do they give you shoes for their errands but not clothing for your freedom?”
He hunched down again. “Well, I’m not your servant.”
“None of my usual servants are here. You’ll have to do.”
“You might run away.”
“I’m starving,” I protested. “If I’m going to run, it’ll be after supper. Now go on.”
He wasn’t happy about it, but he obeyed and returned a few minutes later with a bowl of stew for each of us.
“Did you spit in mine?” I asked.
He looked offended. “No.”
“It’s what I would’ve done if you had spoken that way to me.”
He smiled sheepishly. “Well, maybe I did a little.”
I hid my own smile as I traded our bowls.
Fink was quiet for a moment as we ate, then said, “Do you think the men around here only consider me a servant boy?”
“Yes.”
“What if I came with you and Erick tomorrow?”
I shook my head. “If you can’t make it with the thieves, you’d never make it as a pirate.”
Fink straightened his back. “I’d be a fine pirate. I have talents these thieves don’t even know about.”
“Yeah? What?”
“I can fake tears. Watch.”
By the time I looked up, Fink already had tears streaming down his face. “It’s just not fair,” Fink cried. Literally, he did. “Maybe I’m young, but I deserve a chance.”
“You’re pathetic,” I said, chuckling.
Instantly, Fink was smiling again. He wiped his tears with the back of his hand, leaving streak marks on his dirty face. “I once got a whole meat pie from a woman by using that trick.”
“Try that with the pirates and they’ll hang you up until you stop acting like a baby.”
“No, seriously, Sage. I don’t use it often but when I do, it works.”
“Then may your talent for spontaneous tantrums earn you great glory and honor.”
Fink knew I’d insulted him but didn’t seem to care. Instead, he stirred his spoon around his bowl as he mumbled, “Erick said when you went to Libeth you killed a man. Is that true?”
“Whatever I did, he got a lot worse than he deserved,” I said softly. In my mind, I pictured Mott’s strained expression as I left. Not being able to follow me had to be torturing him.
“I didn’t think you were capable of something like that.”
“I’m not.” And yet it was inevitable that I’d have to destroy the pirates.
Fink slowly exhaled. “Do you want to go to the pirates?”
I glanced over at him. “I have to go. That’s different.”
“You seem scared.”
“Everyone gets scared at times. It’s only the fools who won’t admit it.”
We were interrupted by Erick coming back over to join us. He crouched near me and said, “Will you join us around the fire, Sage? Everyone wants to hear your story about our adventures in Libeth.”
I ignored his question and asked my own. “When do we go to the pirates?”
“I’ve been thinking about that. If I had time to know you better —”
“If time is what you need, then I’ll leave tonight and find another way there,” I said without batting an eye. “Time is a luxury I don’t have.”
He massaged his jaw. “Will you promise to give them the location of the cave? Because if I bring you there and you refuse to tell them, both our heads will roll.”
I couldn’t promise that, but with total sincerity I said, “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep my head from rolling. And I’ll try not to do anything that will cause them to detach yours.”
Apparently that was enough. Stars seemed to dance in his eyes as he said, “All my life I’ve wanted a chance with the pirates. But I’ve never had anything worth offering them. Until now.”
“So when do we leave?” I asked.
He thought for a moment, then made his decision. “At first light. I want to ride into camp as they climb from their beds. Devlin will be in his best mood then.”
I handed my bowl to Fink and picked up my bedroll, dragging it into a nearby supply tent. “In that case, I want plenty of privacy for a good sleep. Morning will come early.”
I lay down but never closed my eyes. I’d slept enough during the day that it wasn’t too difficult to stay awake. The hard part was fighting the feeling of urgency to leave, to run while I had the chance.
When it was very quiet, I at last decided that I had to take the risk of going back to the church to meet Mott. He had been right from the beginning: This plan was madness. My earlier conversation with Fink festered inside of me. When it came to the moment, could I really do what was necessary to destroy the pirates? I’d taken a life once at Farthenwood, not intentionally and in defense of Imogen, and even then it had nearly broken me. The closer I got to the pirates, the more I saw the flaws in my plan. I needed Mott’s help if I had any hope to succeed.
I propped myself up on one arm. Fink had settled in at the door of the tent as my vigil, but that wasn’t my exit. I pulled up a corner flap of the tent and silently rolled beneath it.
What I did not expect was to roll into the body of another thief, who sat up and grabbed me by my collar. “Where do you think you’re going?” he snarled.
“I’ve got to go,” I said, fully prepared to launch into my usual explanation of having inherited my mother’s pea-size bladder.
But he wasn’t interested. He shoved me to the ground and lifted the tent flap. “Get back in there ’til Erick comes for you. Wake me up again and Erick won’t have anyone left alive to get.”
His terms weren’t particularly in my favor so I rolled back under the tent. It was safe to assume any direction I went would have someone there as well, waiting for me.
I cursed and kicked at the tent pole, which startled Fink awake. I told him to go to sleep and stop bothering me, then sat with my back against the pole. It looked as if I would not see Mott tonight after all. I’d be going to the pirates alone.
