My heart beats louder with each step I take toward Lex’s campus office, my nerves racked. The news about the merger and everything it entails threw me off so much that I missed his last class, and thereby potentially my chance to intern at Windsor Motors.
The door is ajar, giving me a view of him behind his desk, his tie loosened and his hair messier than it was in class last time. I watch him for a moment as he flicks through papers that have been submitted to him, his brow raised and his expression serious.
This version of him is in such contrast with the playfulness he showed me a few weeks ago. I didn’t think I’d ever see him again, yet here he is, even further out of reach than ever before.
I hesitate before lifting my hand to knock, scared in more ways than one. Lex looks up at the sound, and just like that, I’m rooted in place. He smiles, his dimples making an appearance, and my heart skips a beat.
“Raya.”
He rises from his seat, and I take a deep breath before walking in, unsure how to behave around him. “Hi, Professor Windsor,” I end up saying, my voice trembling.
Lex’s expression hardens, and I stare at him for a moment, wishing I knew what he’s thinking. “Miss Lewis,” he corrects himself, gesturing toward the seat in front of his desk. “You weren’t in class this week.”
“I’m sorry, Professor. I have no good excuse, and I’d understand if you won’t let me submit my design now that I’ve missed the deadline.” My voice shakes, and I lower my head as I reach for the folder I brought with me. My movements are hesitant as I place it on his desk, unsure what to expect.
“Take a seat.”
Lex walks around his desk as I sink down in the seat he pointed out, my entire body trembling with nerves. He closes the door to his office before turning back to me, and my heart skips a beat. This. This is how he looked at me that night — like he can’t see anything but me.
“Tell me why you missed my class, and I’ll decide whether your reason is worthy of an exception.” My eyes widen a fraction, heat rushing to my cheeks as he walks back toward his desk and leans against it instead of sitting down behind it, placing his body inches from mine. “Give me a Truth, Raya.”
I look up at him, longing hitting me hard as memories crash through my mind. The way he kissed me, the rounds of truth and dare we played, and the way his body felt against mine as we laid on his sofa. It was the first time I felt a real connection with someone, and it hurts that it finally happened mere weeks before finding out that I’ll most likely marry someone I’ve never even met, someone my parents refuse to tell me anything about. I wish I never knew what I’ll miss out on.
“It’s a personal matter, Professor.”
He moves closer, until he’s right in front of me, my knees brushing against his shins. I hate how incredible he looks in that navy three-piece suit, clearly another one of Raven’s highly coveted designs. “Personal, huh?” Something flashes in his eyes, and he leans in, placing his index finger underneath my chin, tipping my face up. My heart begins to race, and he smiles like he knows exactly how he’s making me feel. “What is it that kept you from me?”
His gaze dips down to my lips, and I inhale shakily. “I was at home with my parents for a couple of days,” I tell him, my own gaze drawn to his mouth. What would happen if I kissed him right now, one last time? Would it make me forget about the things my parents are keeping from me? Would it make me forget the countless reasons this man in front of me can never be mine?
“Are they okay?” Lex asks, his expression clearing as his hand falls away.
I nod and cross my arms. “They’re fine. It’s just… they just needed me at home for a little while.” I look away, my voice breaking. What would he say if I told him I spent days trying to convince my parents to let me marry a perfect stranger, in order to save my family’s company? Countless arguments, and still Mom and Dad wouldn’t even tell me what company we’d merge with, or who I’d marry, convinced I’d take matters into my own hands if I knew. The look in their eyes spoke volumes, though. Whoever it is has the power to save us, and they hate that as much as I do.
“I see,” he says, his tone light. “One more question, Raya. Answer me honestly, and I’ll let you submit your design.” I glance back at him to find him looking at me with an expression I can’t quite read.
I nod, my nerves sky high. I know what he’ll ask, and I’m not sure how to answer him.
“Why did you sneak out of my bed?”
I bite down on my lip, my cheeks blazing. “I’d never done anything like that before, but I understand the etiquette. It was a fun night, but I know that’s all it was. It seemed easier on us both to just walk away before things got awkward.”
He clenches his jaws for a moment. “That’s one hell of an assumption,” he says, anger bleeding into his voice. “You act like we had meaningless sex, when we both know that isn’t what happened. Can you really look me in the eye and tell me that night meant nothing to you?”
I turn away to look out his window, unsure how to answer. Nothing good will come of me admitting that he’s right. I can’t have a crush on my professor. Hell, I should’ve walked away the moment I realized he was Lexington Windsor.
“Don’t do that, Raya,” he says, his voice soft and pained. He reaches for me and effortlessly pulls me out of my seat, my body crashing against his. Within seconds, he has me perched on the edge of his desk, his legs between mine, our positions the same as that night in his kitchen. “Don’t hide from me like that. Answer me.”
His gaze is pleading, his voice strained. He cups my face, his thumb brushing over the edge of my mouth, and my eyes flutter closed for a moment. “Lex,” I whisper, my voice breaking.
His hand slides into my hair, and he grips tightly, his eyes on mine. He moves closer, spreading my legs wider and making my skirt ride up, until the fabric is bunched at the top of my thighs. “Tell me the truth,” he demands, his gaze unyielding as he reaches for my hand and flattens it across his chest, covering it with his.
I lower my eyes and draw a shaky breath. “It’s best for both of us if we leave that night in the past. You said it yourself, Lex. You have no interest in dating anyone, and things have changed for me since then too.”
He studies me, his hand slowly balling in my hair, his touch at odds with his calm expression. “What changed?”
I look into his emerald eyes, unsure what the best thing to do is. “Remember the first question you asked me when we played truth or dare?”
Are you truly single, Raya? He nods, his jaw locking.
“My answer changed.”
He lets go of me and runs a hand through his hair, anger marring his features. “Who?” he asks, his voice surprisingly calm, despite the edge to it.
“It’s complicated.”
He pulls his tie loose entirely and takes a deep breath, his expression forlorn. “I refuse to believe that you started dating someone else after the night we spent together, Raya. Sure, we didn’t have sex, but the way we danced, the conversations we had, and the way you kissed me? That’s every bit as intimate, if not more so. I can’t be the only one who wants more.”
His gaze is heated as he places his index finger underneath my chin. “I suggest you end whatever it is you started before I find out who he is.” His gaze roams over my face, lingering on my lips for a moment, before returning to my eyes. “You’re mine, Raya Lewis. You just don’t know it yet.”
