Raya glances at me from the mirror she’s standing in front of as I walk out of her bathroom, a towel hanging low on my hips. The way her eyes linger sends a thrill down my spine, and I take a shaky breath as I walk toward her.
“Let me help you,” I murmur as I take her hairbrush from her. She doesn’t fight me as I begin to comb her hair for her, taking my time pulling the brush through my wife’s long silky hair. I bite down on my lip as I grab a few strands, loving the way it feels against my skin.
Raya inhales sharply, and I instantly wonder if she’s reminded of the countless times I’ve taken hold of her hair and pulled her close. I sigh as I let it slip through my fingers and lean in, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. Her breath hitches, and my heart skips a beat.
At least this hasn’t changed — she still responds to me the way she always has. Now she just wishes she wouldn’t. “I miss you,” I whisper, even though she’s right here with me.
Her eyes fall closed when I kiss her neck, and the edges of my lips tug up as I move them just below her ear, to that spot that makes her shiver. Her head falls back, exposing more of her skin, and I eagerly kiss her jaw, my hand carefully sliding around her waist, until I’ve got my palm pressed to her stomach, her body against mine. She inhales shakily when I wrap my free hand around her jaw and tilt her face, my lips brushing against hers once, twice, before sweeping in and taking what’s still mine.
My thumb brushes over her chin, and I part her lips, deepening our kiss. It’s been so long since I’ve had her like this, since she’s let me so close. Her body shifts against mine just a touch, her hips moving in that needy way I love so much.
I tense when she moves away just a little, our eyes locking. “Please,” I whisper, unsure what it is I’m begging for. Another kiss, her love, forgiveness — all of it.
Raya turns around, her chest brushing against mine, and I groan when she reaches for me, cupping my face. It’s been so long since she touched me like that, so tenderly, so sweetly. I’m breathing hard, desperate for the tiniest shred of her affection, acutely aware that I don’t deserve it.
My heart skips a beat when my wife rises to her tiptoes and kisses me, her hand slipping around the back of my neck. Her tongue brushes against mine, and I wrap one hand around her waist as the other slides into her hair, my touch desperate. She has no idea how much I’ve craved her presence, how empty my life was while she was gone.
“I hate how much I still want you,” she whispers against my mouth, and I tighten my grip on her hair, my heart soaring. I’ll take her hatred if that’s all she’s willing to give me — I’ll take that over indifference and absence any day.
Raya pushes against my chest, and I blink in surprise as I step back, only for her to step closer, walking me back toward her bed until I stumble and fall backwards. My wife places her knee between my legs, her gaze roaming down my chest and abs as I hold myself up on my elbows. “I hate what you’ve done to me, Lexington. I hate that I let you.”
Raya’s expression conveys her hurt, and it fucking kills me to know I’m the reason her eyes aren’t shimmering with light and happiness, like they did before me. My eyes fall closed, and I inhale shakily as I try to breathe through the pain in my chest.
I bite down on my lip harshly as she straddles me, her silky nightgown riding up and settling around her waist. She makes herself comfortable on top of me, fucking torturing me with the way she nestles my cock between her thighs, my towel wedged between us. Raya places her hand just above it, the heat of her palm seeping into my cold skin.
I move my hands to her hips, but she shakes her head and grabs them. Raya leans over me and pins my hands above my head, her eyes flashing. “Keep them there,” she orders. “You don’t get to touch me unless I tell you to, Lexington. Not anymore.”
I suck my lip in between my teeth as I do as I’m told, keeping my hands where she put them even as she lets go and straightens. Her fingertips trail over my chest and down my abs. My head falls back as my entire body responds to the way she caresses me, my abs contracting involuntarily.
“Why did you do it?” she asks, her voice breaking. “Why did you make me fall for you, Lex? Why pretend to try with me when you never had any intention of giving our marriage a real chance?”
“Look at me,” I whisper. “Do I look like a man that’s pretending to be anything but yours? Place your hand over my chest and feel how my heart beats for you, Raya.”
Our eyes lock as she slides her hand up, my heart pounding wildly underneath my palm. “I fucking wish I could’ve controlled my feelings for you. I wish this was all pretense, that the mere thought of you no longer being mine didn’t hurt as much as it does.” She draws a shaky breath as she reads the emotion in my eyes, the vulnerability that I can’t hide. “From the moment we met, my carefully constructed life began to collapse, brick by brick. You took each discarded, useless piece of me, and you built me back up, Raya. You made me want to live again, made me want to become the person you thought I was, and fuck, if you’re willing to give me a chance, I’ll show you that I can be.”
Her eyes fill with hope and tears, and she looks away. “You’re not the only one who’s had time to think in the last couple of days, little fairy,” I whisper. “You told me that I can’t be what you need, and maybe you’re right, but I’m willing to spend the rest of my life proving you wrong.”
I watch as a tear runs down her cheek, and I reach for her, only just about catching myself in time. I curl my fingers into a fist and pull my hand away, respecting her wishes not to be touched without her say so.
“Will you let me fight for you?” I ask, my voice breaking. “Will you give me a chance to earn your forgiveness, Raya? One chance to show you I can be the husband you’ve always wanted.”
She looks at me with so much love and longing that hope soars in my chest, and I stare at her as she contemplates my words.
“One month. Please, give me one month to show you I can change, that I can be the one for you. I’m begging you, Raya. Please, just give me one more chance.”
She bites down on her lip, another tear running down her face as she nods just slightly. “I don’t want to,” she murmurs, and my heart sinks. “I don’t want you to hurt me more than you already have, but I’ll always regret it if I walk away now.” She spreads her fingers across my abs, and I draw a shaky breath. “One chance,” she whispers. “Just one.”
I nod, silently swearing I won’t let her down again.
